So i have read this whole story already but however just in case you make some changes i am going to keep checking it out! :]So here are some tips just to make it a bit 'better'
1. When you have people talking it is quiet confusing. It looks as if you forgot to include some sentences from example with the hat talking, you never said hermione didn't want to be in slytherin.
2. Thus reading this, i understand the whole plot, however you should try to elaborate your writing style. For example i am the type of person who enjoys to either right it as if i am explaining a old tail i never told or write in third person.
3. Keep up the work, and never loose hope.
And also maybe you should get a banner, if usually attracts peoples attention :)
Check out my stuff and review, love.Author's Response: Thanks but since im working on the sequel and other stories I won't be fixing this one! but i will keep it in mind as i write the ones im writing! Report Review
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