Ooh, this must be a teaser to more! Report Review
Well, there's no getting away from the fact that it's short lol.
But I do think you did a wonderful job and portrayed the characters perfectly.
In not many words you made me feel for Hermione which show's what a talented writer you must be.
Well done, Charly :D xAuthor's Response: Haha, yeah, I know it's short. This was for the Every Word Counts challenge, so it had to be *exactly* 500 words.
I'm glad you really got a sense of the character and she was relateable for you. I kind of based her "motherly-ness" on my own mom.
Thanks for reviewing, it means a lot! Report Review
I liked this. Short and to the point. You did a good job of presenting both the present and the past in so few words. Well done.
JessAuthor's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the length, it was challenging to get all the emotions and characterization I wanted to into such a small package. Report Review
Short but dramatic. I like the idea of a story where the Dramione-ness occurs during their own married year, as you yourself are not going against any of the books but all the Dramione lovers can still enjoy reading them. Keep it up
GraceAuthor's Response: Thanks! I love the stories stay within the books' canon, but show missing moments as well. I'm hoping to turn this one-shot into a short story collection, so keep an eye out for that.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
First of all, congratulations on completing the challenge! Hopefully you learnt something and challenged yourself. It really is awesome seeing people take on challenges, I almost feel like a proud mother hen. Let's just leave aside the fact that I still watch Disney movies and play in sandpits whenever I go to the park... :D
This was nice. It really was. I had a very quick read of it (that's how I always embark on a story that I am to review) but then I realised that I needed to read the earlier prequel to this. I won't get into much about the prequel except for the fact that it's pretty damn awesome.
And this follows on nicely.
But even on its own, it can work and be interesting. It is not as though I felt much was missing. And that's the really cool thing about this. It works as a sequel. But it also works as a one-shot unto itself.
I think this was a really nice snapshot into a very quick everyday scene. And it wasn't boring. Not one bit. Even though it is such an ordinary situation, you made it interesting. The little tidbits. Like how Rose is your typical teenager. Or how Hermione feels empathy with Asteria. They're just so everyday and typical and so real and indicative of how people are in everyday life.
What I take from this fic is a bit of sadness and regret. I don't know if that is what you were going for. But that is what I get. Hermione and Draco's relationship seems to be full of what-could-have-beens. And even though they did get a bit of closure, at the same time, they didn't? I don't know if that makes sense.
I liked this, though. And you did well on not using dialogue. You explored a character's thoughts and feelings. And that's all I could have asked of anyone entering this challenge.
Ju :]Author's Response: Thanks so much! Your review was really amazing and I appreciate all the feedback you gave me! I know it's short--that was because of the 500-word-exactly challenge that I was doing with yours--but I wanted to get a lot into this first meeting. I have this vision of doing all 7 years where they see each other and then converting each one-shot into a short-story collection.
I did want there to be a tinge of regret in this fic because they cheated on their spouses, but they also felt like they got cheated themselves by fate or destiny or whatever.
So I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks again for the awesome challenge! Report Review
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short story collection