Reading Reviews for Broken
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by inlovewithpadfoot Chapter Three :: Defended

29th April 2010:
You're writing is very different, in a good way. I like how you wrote Harry fighting for Snape's portrait. It's great. Please update soon.

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Review #2, by mizzxpearl Chapter Two :: Forged

24th February 2010:
Hey! I'm here with your review! I'm sorry it took so long!

Okay, well I enjoyed this. It was really emotional. I've read a couple stories about life just a few weeks after the end of the war, and most people neglect to acknowledge the fact that the Weasley's must be feeling horrible over Fred. So I'm glad you made it realisitc about how they were feeling.

I felt like the charm they made though.might have been a bit too much? Don't you think that George would want people to remember the laughing joking Fred and have laughes with him even when he's not there, instead of making them feel depressed? The charm idea itself was amazing though and very orgininal, but I would think he would rather put up a charm where Fred was making a joke about samething, and making a ton of people laugh.

I only spotted two mistakes. First you said:

As Fred continued his monologue...

^^ I think you meant George!

And the second mistake was:

determination in his eyes He appeared far...

He shouldn't be captilized.

Besides those few things, I think you did an amazing job! Once again, I love that you gave Fred the attention he desrved - I think he's such an absoulty amazing character! I hope this review was helpful. Keep writing, you have great description! :D

Author's Response: Thanks for such an honest review ...
The charm I thought might be a bit out of sorts, but worked it out to more or less showcase the power of the elder wand, with the strength of Georges emotions behind it as well as his above average talent for Charms.

I debated for quite some time as to whether he would have preferred something comical, or serious for Fred. In the end, I gambled, and went with serious ... it was very difficult 'not' to have him do something completely humorous ... Angst won out though, and George chose something a bit grim for the world to remember his brothers sacrifice.

Thanks again for pointing out the errors. I didnt even notice I used the wrong name. Hope you enjoyed it anyway :)


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Review #3, by Ravenclawgirl39 1 :: Broken

3rd February 2010:
This is wonderful. I well thought out story...but will we find out exactly what George and Harry did to the hallway?

Author's Response: thanks alot for the review. In chapter two, you'll 'see' exactly what has become of the hallway ... and more.
This is prety much finished, so look for a new chapter each week. :)


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Review #4, by felix the great 1 :: Broken

3rd February 2010:
Great first chapter! I love the writing. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks ! keep reading

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