Reading Reviews for Stumbling Back To You
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rose_Weasley123 A Love

11th May 2010:
Here for your first prize for my challenge :D (long overdue). Anyway lovely, on we shall go! I've missed your gorgeous writing, and it never fails to amaze me how well you write.

First things first, I love the lines in italics! They really add another dimension to the story. Looking at it, I thought they might be jarring or just serve no purpose, but this was one of those rare occasions when they added something to substantial to the story, which I loved.

I really liked the characterisation today. It was an interesting dynamic you created between both characters. All their actions hinted at some backstory between them, but I liked how you never explained what that was. It left us to fill in the gaps, which is something I love in FF. I loved how you developed the characters even over the course of the one shot... you did become attatched to them, and I definitely got a feel of the kind of people they were.

The description was gorgeous, of course. Description is always one of the highlights of your writing, and this did not fail to deliver a gorgeous read. All of it slotted together perfectly, and it almost read like poetry.

The romance was beautifully written- the only thing I wasn't quite so sure about, and it really was a minor quibble, was that the transition from being scared of Ted to kissing him was a little too abrupt. Apart from that, the dialogue and actions between them felt completely natural.

The dialogue worked really well in this- using it sparingly was definitely the right choice. The actions said so much more in this, and too much dialogue would have just clogged it up.

Simply stunning Rin, really. I loved every second.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I was so worried about those lines in italics. I was thinking that they may or may not detract from the story, so I am SO relieved that you didn't find them distracting at all! So thank you SO much for mentioning that (should I stop saying SO now? :P).

Mmmm, I've already mentioned by quibbles with dialogue. The whole... thing... just... kills me. So I can completely see where you might have a hard transition in that little part. Still, thanks so much for mentioning it! I'm glad you spotted it, so I can look back on it.

Again, thank you! I appreciate it so, so (SO) much.

- Rin


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Review #2, by marinahill A Love

3rd May 2010:
Rin... You continue to break boundaries and amaze me. This was utterly brilliant, so much so that you've left me pretty much speechless.

Your descriptions are beautiful normally, but here I think you excelled yourself. It was so bitter, so heartbreaking and I really was so absorbed in the moment with them. You're one of the few authors who can capture me and thrust me into your world without me complaining - I was completely wrapped up in the BEAUTY of your words.

So stunning, I don't think there's more I can say. It was so pretty ♥

Marina

Author's Response: Marina! Thank you so much! I just... I can't... Wow. And so out of the blue, too! Wow. Thank you so much. You have absolutely made my day, week, and month.

- Rin


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Review #3, by Violet Gryfindor A Love

11th April 2010:
This is my first Teddy/Dom of any sort, mostly because it was a too-popular ship I was trying to avoid. But you've altered the cliche of this ship significantly by making Dom male instead of female, and it has made this an interesting, moving story to read.

What I love most is the basic structure you've utilized, each paragraph being divided by those fragments of singular nouns. Those changed how I read the story, breaking up the flow in a way that doesn't detract from the story, but rather forces the reader to read it more slowly, more carefully. Those fragments work like titles to each paragraph at the same time that they remind me of poetry (Marianne Moore is the poet that came to mind when I was reading).

With the characters, I see nothing to critique. They seemed realistic, experiencing deep emotion that comes through clearly to the reader even though it's a first-person narrator; I can feel Teddy's pain as much as Dom's, and sometimes with the first-person, authors can't do that. You also offer a long history between them, one that's ridden with unhappiness and secrecy, and you give away just enough in a nice subtle manner.

Here is some critique to consider related to the formality of Dom's voice. You've used contractions very inconsistently and the rare times that you do include them seem randomly chosen, especially when you have lines like "He knows that I will not be leaving" that sound so formal. I wasn't sure whether Dom was supposed to have such a formal voice or not, and that threw me off a bit. The sentences without contractions sound wordy, though if you mean for Dom to have that voice, then it works. I just wanted to bring it to your attention.

Thank you for having me read this! I haven't read much next-gen slash, Marauder-era being what I'm more used to, and this story has made me more interested in this ship. It's very beautifully written, which doesn't surprise me at all, coming from you. ;)

Author's Response: Violet! I'm so sorry I didn't respond to this sooner! I don't know what got into me. It certainly deserves a response. :) Again, I'm very, very sorry.

Anyway, thank you so much! I just discovered Dom as a male character, and I've been very much enjoying myself writing him. Thanks so much for commenting on him and his ship. I know Ted/Dom is a tad over-used, but I'm very glad that you found this, at least, refreshing.

Ah, yes, those little words that separate the paragraphs were very scary at first. I was so unsure of myself, and I didn't know if they would work or not. Still, I'm so pleased that you didn't think they detracted from the reading at all. Again, thanks for your feedback.

Erg, contractions. They will be the death of me, I swear. I can completely see how that may throw you off. ;) Thanks for bringing it to my attention, because I totally would have missed it otherwise. Again, thanks.

VIOLET! You are love. And I love your review. And... thank you! Again! I really, really appreciate all of your kind words and your lovely feedback.

- Rin


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Review #4, by Lily Roselyn A Love

27th February 2010:
Aha! That's lovely, Rin.

What's up with Teddy, though? Why's he such a wreck?

Ok, anyway this is a singularly spectacular bit of writing, and I just had to point it out.

Cheers. : )

PS I think I still like girl Dom...

Author's Response: Oh, I don't know. I suppose he's just missed Dom. :) Thanks for the review, Soph!

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Review #5, by phoenixs A Love

26th February 2010:
All I have to say is that I wish I wrote that, I envy you quite a lot. Am not saying anything else that might ruin my this-story-is-too-good-to-be-true moment.

Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much. This is quite possibly the simplest review I've ever gotten, but also one of the most touching. Thanks again! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #6, by Sleeping Paige  A Love

18th February 2010:
Wow ... just wow. You know, I don't usually read 'slash' pieces because they seem so unconnected. Don't misunderstand me, I think putting this new twist on literature is a wonderful and crafty move. After all, I believe that this 'issue' (I'd rather not word it differently because of younger readers) is a gift to the new shift. A shift in literature that needs to be addressed and covered up no longer by 'whispers behind the hand'. I don't believe in the term 'slash'. I look at it more as our new phase in literature. This is, after all, the new 'extending the rights' issue of the century.

This is done tastefully. You are correct. There is never a distinction made as to whether or not Dominique is male or female. You probably wrote this ages ago. Well, I love that JKR took that step with Dumbledore. I don't swing that way, so I don't mean to raise questions, but did you know the US is the only place that shys away from this issue? It was no shock in the UK or Japan or wherever when she made that announcement.

Well done. This is definately the best Teddy/Dominique I've ever read. You see I'm picky. What an interesting turn... I'm glad I stumbled across this.

Well done.

-sleeping paige

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm sorry the response to this has been somewhat delayed, but I wasn't exactly sure what to say! :) Again, thank you.

Ah, Dominique is quite possibly one of my favorite characters when written right. It seems to me like he could be anyone you want him to be as a writer, and he has so much room to grow. He was so much fun to create, so you can imagine my excitement when you wrote that you liked him too.

I don't really swing that way either, but I find it an interesting topic to delve into. Teddy/any male has really always intrigued me, but I've never found anybody to ship him with. Dom was the perfect person, in my opinion.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

- Rin


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Review #7, by Rayn A Love

15th February 2010:
I think, that was possibly the best one shot I've ever read!

Very well done!

I'll be looking for more of your work!

I wish there was more then 10/10! This is definately a 20/20!!!

Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you! I mean... wow! ... Wow! I'm flattered. Absolutely flattered. Thank you so much, again, for the wonderful review. It's made my day.

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Review #8, by taylorj828 A Love

25th January 2010:
Hi there, taylorj828 here with your review! First I want to say thanks for submitting this for the challenge. I know the characters changed along the way, haha, but this was a really wonderful piece to read, and I'm glad I had the chance to!

I liked in the first section where you descibed the clothing as moth-eaten. This immediately made me think it was Teddy, because I recall similar descriptions about his father, Lupin. And although characters don't become clones of their parents, still there is something special about an accidental resemblance, however small. Whether intentional or not, I liked that little detail.

Sorrow courses through me, bursts of it shrieking through my veins. Have I done this to him? Is it I who has let him look this way?

With this kind of language, I can immediately feel a heavy weight of emotion here. Great job with word choice and setting the mood and tone. I like your writer's voice.

I also love the cadence with the italicized lines in between the narrative. Unique and interesting, cleverly used for your story-telling.

I also liked the detail of Dominique's full name, how he didn't like it and it was intended to cause pain. These little details are excellent for developing characters. Great work!

Oh, and I loved the detail of the shadow hiding Teddy's expression. It painted the picture well, and I could see it clearly in my mind, and feel Dominique's longing to see his expression.

And of course I had to wonder why Dominique swore not to touch Teddy, though it became clear at the end, and was hinted at earlier on, that it was a forbidden romance, something he didn't want. But at the moment, you really had me intrigued, wanting to find out more!

Oh, one thing... I was a bit confused at the section where Teddy fell. It says that Dominique is on top of him, Teddy beneath him, and then Teddy's shoulders are on Dom's lap? I just can't picture how this happened, but I tend to think in pictures, so I stumble over some things like this.

As I read, I couldn't help but wonder at all the heaviness, and the dirt, the angst, the despair... I am deeply curious about what brought them here, to this point. Though the ending gives us lots of wonderful flashes of the past - well done. But I could easily read a whole novel, I think. (o:

I am complete, finding myself in a bond that I keep crawling back to, even when I have rejected it time after time after time.

Gorgeous line. Really. And it says so much.

And the ending is perfect. "An end." Not only is it the end of the story, but also seeming the end of theirs - them together, and no more leaving. Very clever! This was an fantastic story, really truly loved it! And it was your first slash, right? Wow, I would hardly believe it. This was so good, and you're a great storyteller! I'll have to check out your author's page now! Thanks for submitting this to the challenge, and I should be declaring winners sometime in early February. (o:

Author's Response: Oh, wow. Oooh, wow. What can I say after a review like that? A simple "thank you" can't even begin to cover the HUGE smile you've plastered on my face. Gah. Thank you so, so much. I don't even know what to say.

Hmm. I'll have to go check that line out! I'm definitely a visual reader as well, though I never noticed that line! I'll go through and sort that out. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!

Again, just... wow. I can't even begin to thank you. I really, really appreciate it.


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Review #9, by The Empress A Love

23rd January 2010:
Oh Rin, it's wonderful. This is the first Teddy or Dominique slash I've ever read, and this did not disappoint. Not at all. As usual, your way with words has absolutely astounded me. I especially like the bits in italics before each paragraph. They could have been silly or too much or something but they weren't at all. It was almost like a whisper, showing us what we're going to see and then we see it and it's beautiful.

The helpless Teddy, so lost in his desperation, his need. And Dom, with his constant searching for the perfect one, when all along he has it. Isn't that just typical though of people? Not just Dom, though the characterisation fits him perfectly. Having something, whether it be love or something else, and searching for something better elsewhere, only to find it's been there all along. This is like a 'the-grass-is-greener' fic, except the sweetest was right where he'd left it.

I loved it, Rin. It was perfectly lovely. Well done :)

XOXO
Shiloh

Author's Response: Aw, Shiloh, thank you so much! I... I can't even tell you how much this means to me. Especially coming from an author like you. I... wow. Thank you!

Ah, yes, the infamous Dominique. I'd always pictured him as a girl, but I was browsing the Lexicon and was startled to learn that he could be male! After that, I just HAD to write about him. I'm really, really glad you liked his characterization.

Thank you Shiloh! I really appreciate your review.


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Review #10, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme A Love

19th January 2010:
Riiin.
I repeat: how do you do it? Every single thing of yours that I read is refreshingly different from the previous. You really are ridiculously talented and I want it!

The way you divided each paragraph up was superb. Completely fantastic idea and it paid off brilliantly. Each statement kind of sent a shiver down my spine. It comes across so short and sharp and succinct. Like...the basic rules and the paragraphs in between are the reality.

Oh, and the reality.

The paragraph headed by An impulse completely got me. It was beautiful. Really beautiful. I was enthralled from the start (yay for male Dominique) but from the 'impulse' section onwards, I was enamoured with it.

I don't know how you do it and nor, in all honesty, do I want to know. It's yours. All you need to know is that secret of yours is complete genius that needs to be kept in its Rin-shaped bubble because there is no-one else who could write this in the way you can.

As always, this was completely stunning, Rin, and I wish I could author fave you every time I read something of yours because you never disappoint.

Rachelle

xx

Author's Response: Goodness gracious, Rachelle... I don't know how YOU do it! Your reviews are always such a wonderful breath of fresh air, and I can't... respond... in a satisfying way after you've written all that. Gah. You have absolutely made my day, week, month, YEAR. Thank you so much for the time and effort your put into each and every one of your fantastic, terrific, knock-your-socks-off reviews.

Gah.

Gah gah gah.

Yes, that's pretty much all I can manage after reading all that. Gah. I love Rachelle. I LOVE RACHELLE.

- Rin


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Review #11, by dracos_hotter A Love

18th January 2010:
I like this. The italic motions, the descriptions that weave in seamlessly with the actions, the entire premise.

Good grammar (yes! I love it), good language, good plot.

I find no flaws.

xE

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate the review.

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Review #12, by ummm A Love

17th January 2010:
i didnt want to read this but i did and i liked it haha but like it says its like same clash? i didnt get that...
but anyways i really liked the story.. (Y)

Author's Response: I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "clash," but if you mean "slash," then, yes, it was slash because Dominique was a guy instead of a girl (if that makes any sense). Thank you for your review!

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