Oh ma gahhh... this story is so pretty! I love Dominique as a character and I love how different authors have different interpretations of her!
I really like what you have done with her here - she's delicate and beautiful, and I like her relationships with her siblings. It's perfectly natural for sibling relationships to dissolve when one of them goes away, saying that they'll write and keep in touch and stay close, and they return and everything is different. I think that Dominique going to Beauxbatons is a totally feasible idea - Fleur is opinionated (her fights with Molly, anyone?) and while at Hogwarts in GoF, she complained about the food and the cold. I'd like to think that she would have more happy sending her children back to Beauxbatons rather than Hogwarts.
There's something really elegant and pretty about this story: whether it's the fact Dominique is so French, whether it's the way she speaks or acts, whether it's the fact that lavender seems to make it somehow more floral and beautiful. I think it's lovely. Your writing style is pretty superb, and I love where this is going. Really, truly. It's gorgeous. ♥ Report Review
I love the idea of Dominique going to Beauxbatons!!
I've read a few stories with characters who go there, and I love them :) I think padfoot4ever had one about Victoire going, she had a similar reaction to Hogwarts as Dom does here.
So, yes, I think it's realistic :) It's half of who the Weasley-Delacour kids are, anyway. I've always imagined them growing up speaking French.
Yet another example of beautiful writing, I loved the alliteration here:
'Victoire flourishes and flies and flutters.
Teddy lounges and laughs and lives.
James settles and savours and saunters. '
Lovely. And completely tragic when set against Dom's story.
Anyway, nice chapter :D (and nice chapter title) Report Review
Am I correct in sensing foreshadowing at the end there? Obviously one of them will not be in Gryffindor. (Slytherin, perhaps??)
The imagery with the lavender was nice, very cute. I still have the image of two blonde haired girls sitting in a field of lavender :D.
I also love how Dom's nickname is not, for once, Dom, but 'Mini'. Original and very, very cute.
Yeah, I think I can sum up my reaction to this chapter as 'aw, cute!'.
Hahaha. Nice writing!
-Julia Report Review
Poor Dominique. She seems so sad. I think it was a great idea sending her to Beux Batons, she probablys fits in better there :) Can't wait for more!Author's Response: I'm so glad that you agree with what I'm doing here and that you enjoy reading it. Having that feedback is absolutely fantastic!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review ♥ Report Review
I really like the idea of a Hogwarts student choosing Beauxbatons. Its very realistic actually; I'd hate not to have the choice. Though if I found that I was a witch I would NOT be fussy tbh.
Keep it going! I like it.Author's Response: I'm glad that you thinks the idea is plausible! It's sort of a big part of Dominique's personality, but I'd hate for people to think it's really awful XD. Hahaha, very good point. I'd even take Durmstrang if I had to :P.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh Jane, this story is filled with such a great... story really. Personally, I do think that Dominique going to Beauxbatons isn't such a farfetched idea considering the Weasley's invested a lot in the second wizarding world and they could probably pull some very large strings. The way this story moves is very different from what I normally see. I kind of feel like this is a running... commentary(for lack of a better word) on what Dom does all the time. Instead of being immersed in the story I feel like I'm watching it. It's very strange to describe but its a wonderful effect. As for cc the only thing I can think of is that I want to know more about other characters, see a bit more of their story. But its fine as is of course. You've done a spectacular job here and I cannot wait until the next chapter!
-SarahAuthor's Response: You are silly, my dear :L. You've got a far greater range of lovely stories than I do, but you're still beyond brilliant when reviewing me XD. I'm glad you think Dominique going to Beauxbatons is feasible though! I was scared it would be viewed as a bit of an exchange student goes to Hogwarts, but backwards >.<
Yes, it's a very, very odd format, isn't it? I barely know what I'm doing here, but it seems like it would be more suited to a one-shot and I'm trying to push the boundaries anyway, lol. It's very detached, but it's fun to write.
And of course you are correct! To be honest, I have no idea where this is going, but the next chapter will be a lot more substantial - I think.
Thank you SO much for reviewing! ♥
my goodness, this is STUNNING!!! I can't think of a coherent way to review this... It's like poetry, completely gorgeous. And in so few words you've given personalities to so many characters and given them hopes and dreams and relationships and much more besides. Again, you only needed few words to shape Dominique's character and I can completely understand why she needed to go to Beauxbatons.
That was completely enchanting ♥
xxxAuthor's Response: Don't be an eejit. You are stunning. I can't remember the name of that Teddy/Victoire one-shot of yours I read, but it was GLORIOUS. Hopefully you shall continue to be enchanted, as you will need to seriously love it if I only update once every year :P. You're terribly dedicated like that though ;).
Thank you so much for the review, marmy. You may be insane, but I appreciate the outrageous flattery nonetheless ♥ Report Review
Lovely lovely lovely.
As I read, I was pulling out favourite lines but now I've realised there are far too many and this review would merely quote the bulk of the story again, rendering it pretty pointless, no?
Really, I don't believe that you realise the talent you have because this was so, so gorgeous and so Jane and I could pick this out of any line-up as yours. I can't place it in a genre at all and just...divine description and prose and having no dialogue showcases what you can do (because I think we've all established that your dialogue is perfect now.)
I want you to go for promotion. Please? Please, please, please? Pretty please? With Travis Davenport on top?
Gorgeous chapter, dearest.
xxAuthor's Response: Silly, silly, silly.
Yes, definitely pointless as it would make me cringe immensely :P. It's enough to know that you liked it! As long as I can please you and Zoey I am a very happy lepper.
Non-humour stuff that is like me? I am moving up in the world ♥ I have no idea what genre to place it in either! I think it's just a bit of a mish-mash :P. It is far from perfect, dearest XD.
I DID IT. And do you know what this means? YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE ME TRAVIS FROM THE LOVE SHACK.
Thank you for everything - including giving me Travis ♥ Report Review
Jane, I literally devoured this chapter. I read every word, hanging on each letter, until the very end. And when I finished, I went back up to read it again. I just... I love this story. I don't know why. Maybe it's the characters, maybe it's the writing, but something about it makes me jump at every update.
In my opinion, this chapter was kind of a - for lack of better word - filler, but I think that's just fine. You managed to summarize everything without being too vague or too hasty. Though next chapter, you probably want to have more detail/dialogue to make the story "fuller" and to keep your writers from organizing an angry mob. Because we all want MORE! *brandishes pitchfork threateningly*
Oh, and the alliteration was absolute love. I think that would have to be my favorite part. The way you write... Dominique's character just shines so clearly. And I think that her going to Beauxbatons was very feasible. I've seen many stories with the same idea, so I didn't think it was the least bit far fetched.
Okay, so I'm going to wrap this up now, but all in all, this was an amazing chapter, and please update, update, UPDATE soon :)
ZoeyAuthor's Response: Lovely, lovely Zoey ♥ You flatter me far too much. I mean, you say things like this and then I go off and read your work and spasm with jealousy :P. It means such a lot that you're enjoying this though.
Filler it is, but to be honest, I don't exactly know what this whole thing is. I mean, to me, it's not a proper WIP and I'm not quite sure why. It's almost just a little thing on the side that I like to write for something different. That's why I'm so surprised that you're enjoying it so much! Hahaha, I'm hoping to shake things up a little in the next chapter, although, how I'm going to do that is yet to be determined :P.
Is it ridiculous that I didn't notice quite how much alliteration there was until you said this? It sort of is XD. I'm a ridiculously big fan of using it though, especially when attempting to be vaguely poetic.
Hahahaha, my exams will probably prevent updates until... July? -hides- Thank you so much for reviewing though! Report Review
Jane, this is absolutely lovely!
I was checking out (cough - not stalking - cough) your Author's Page when I stumbled across this, and the banner was so pretty and the summary was so intriguing that I just HAD to click. And so now, once again, I am in utter amazement at your writing - this entire thing was beautiful. The setting of the lavender field gave an almost dream-like sensation, and the way you described it ('a concerto of lilac and indigo') made me want to actually be there with Dominique and Victoire.
Speaking of which, I think you managed to characterize the two sisters really nicely, especially in areas like the second-to-last paragraph, where the reader gets a glimpse into the sort of naivety and innocence that both Dom and Victoire posses. A lot of times, most authors who write children in their story forget to adjust the dialogue/description/etc according to the ages of their characters, but you managed it perfectly.
Anyways, I really loved it, and even though the first chapter was short, it drew the reader in. So wonderful job, Jane, and I eagerly await the next update! :)Author's Response: Hey, Zoey! Sorry for taking such a horrifically long time to respond!
Hahaha, do not fear, I completely stalk everyone on TGS :P. I think it may be something of a sickness. And let me just say that THIS BANNER IS MY LIFE AND JUST DFGBDFCSCVDV. This is the reason why UFG owns my life. This is the part where I get embarrassed XD. I'm absolutely thrilled that you like it though! Description is anything but my strong point, and some of this took quite a bit of thought, so it means a lot that you think it paid off.
It IS really difficult to write children. I don't know what I expected, but it's hard to get their dialogue right without it seeming stilted. However, I absolutely adored writing this! It took me out of my comfort zone a bit, but I love doing that and challenging myself. I just hope I can continue to show their progression in the next chapter. I suppose it's a bit of a coming of age story to a certain extent.
Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review! I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed it ^_^ Report Review
Jaaane my dearest I love this already. It is BEAUTIFUL. The summary is pure love, length perfect and beginning tantalising.
You have an unfair amount of talent and need to donate your surplus away immediately: this is SO different from anything else of yours I've read, and there are some truly lovely lines like
"So she fashions crowns and builds pedestals and laughs" as well as what promises to be heartbreakingly sad portrayals of sisterhood.
It's an excellent start and I can't wait to read more!
x JoAuthor's Response: Jo, my dearest, you are terribly silly. I LOVE THE SUMMARY TOO and I shall credit the lovely Melanie for being a total inspiration! You're an absolute darling XD.
Hahahahahahahahaha, now THAT is a good joke! My talent is rather limited (you have far more) and there is definitely none too spare. I need to steal some! Yes, you've read Periph and Viktor, I believe? Oh, and Collisions? It lacks the humour of the former two and is very stylistically different from the latter, so I suppose it's just different for me in general ^_^. That's the idea for now, but who knows where it'll go.
Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing, EVEN IF IT'S NOT CURRENTLY FIT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION :P. You're an absolute star!
xx Report Review
I LOVE IT AND REALLY HOPE I GET FIRST REVIEW AND NOT MARINA.
Seriously, never comment about my description being superior to yours again. I could never come up with something like The fiery intensity of the suns penetrates the thin veil separating her from sight, and a concerto of lilac and indigo flutter across her vision.
You might not be overly happy with this (if I remember rightly) but you should be. It's completely delightful and light and lovely. Everything I fail at writing, in fact!
xxAuthor's Response: I AM SO SORRY, MARINA GOT IN THERE FIRST, BUT SHE IS A CHEATER :P.
Oh I will. And I will do it constantly. You are FAR superior to me. I had to sit and think about that line and even now it sounds silly and contrived XD. I AM BEING OVERLY WORDY.
You do remember rightly, but I will edit it until I am marginally happy. It's needs to FLOW a lot better. I'm so glad that you liked it though! I shall get round to reading your beautiful fluff asap ^_^.
♥ ♥ ILY TOO ♥ ♥
JANE I ADORE THIS MORE THAN FILCH! it's seriously cute, and your descriptions are more than love! The threaded crown was the most gorgeous thing about the whole chapter :D Update soon, I'm so excited!Author's Response: YOU ARE SO, SO, SO, SO SILLY. I am glad that you enjoyed it (all skimming aside :P), but we are not going to read any of the rubbish I post ever again, yes? XD Hahaha, cute is what I am for ;).
Thank you for reviewing, love! ♥ Report Review
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