Hey! I'm so sorry for the long wait on this!
This story was so bittersweet because a massive part of me just wanted it to be true. I wanted George to be happy and not have to deal with the fact that he won't ever be completely whole again. I want him to have his twin back. I wish the war didn't happen and that people couple just live happily. But they don't. I think that is what stuck with me while reading this was that even though we have all these wishes for the world and for these characters their lives wouldn't be the same if they hadn't experienced what they did. They wouldn't fall in love with the same people. They wouldn't hate the same people. If the trio didn't go through all those years together fighting, would they still be as tight? Would Hermione fall for Ron? You've answered that with a no. It's an interesting topic to write on and i think you did a good job with it.
I think you got characterization done fairly well. I liked Fred and how he just seemed so large and his personality seemed untamable. Very much like how we knew him and so it was cool to see him come alive again, if only it was just a dream. George reacted really well to the whole thing, his confusion and then to his realization that life wouldn't be the same and that his wishes couldn't happen because so much would be undone by it was really heartbreaking to read.
Although i sort of understand some of the choices you made, some of them i felt needed to explained in order for it to seem real. I get that maybe Ron/Hermione wouldn't be together if they didn't go through so much together and I liked that you chose it that. But why chose Draco? It just seemed odd and broke up the flow to your story because there is no background to that relationship. Obviously George wouldn't know it if he's dreaming but taken out of context it just throws the reader off a bit in my opinion.
The ending seemed quite quick and not quite finished. Like there still needed to be a little bit more for there to be closure to the piece. You were really into George's emotion in the beginning and in the dream but when it came to his real life and his real emotions it just felt rushed. It also felt like if it was his real life, he'd feel more and be able to define it more than he was in his dream, maybe even if you mentions him wanting to forget, not wanting to feel so much loss which is why he turned to the sleeping draught.
Overall though i think this is an interesting piece that poses a lot of questions for the readers and i like that a lot because it does make me wonder a lot about the 'what if' Voldemort didn't exist? We wouldn't have a series and life is about conflict and without it life will be vastly different. Which is what George seemed to be able to identify with, if only briefly.
Thanks for requesting me and I hope you found my review helpful! Sorry again for how long it took!Author's Response: I'm glad you thought this was interesting! It was one of my favorite pieces to write. Your review is very helpful; I've received a lot of CC's concerning the Draco/Hermione bit and the rushed ending, so I fully intend on editing those parts. I just keep procrastinating on it, haha. Thanks again for this review! Report Review
Hallo there! I am here with your requested review. Sorry it's so behind, IRL has taken a toll lately. Onward!
You've managed to mix humor and angst very well here. The entire exchange with Dumbledore in particular was funny, but there was still that underlying feeling that something wasn't right. It culminated very well at the birthday party; first when we see that Ron and Hermione never got together. Clearly there's something not right there. And then finally when we see that Harry's never had a scar; it leaves us wondering what else has changed in the world, if Voldemort never existed.
George's transition from happiness in the beginning of the story, to the birthday party when he realizes that he wants to go back to the world he knows, is really heart breaking. The way he was jarred out of the dream was unique, but I feel like the ending was a bit abrupt. I don't know exactly what it could use, so perhaps this is useless CC. I get the feeling that this has happened before, as he has the dreamless sleep draught, but maybe you could state that a little more plainly so that we get a sense of conclusion and finality? I dunno. Just a suggestion!
All in all, this was well done. You balanced between angst and humour quite nicely, and I think for that reason it adheres to George's character very well. Nice work!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you liked the story; it was one of my favorites to write. I've gotten many CC's about elaborating more at the end, so I'll definitely take what you said into account. Thank you! Report Review
This was a very nice read. I think I knew from the start that it was too good to be true, but it still made me so happy when George 'woke up' and Fred was there... it's so sad to think that he has to go through the rest of his life without him. It breaks my heart, really.
I like the fact that you showed that not all things would have been better without Voldemort. For example, Bill and Fleur met because of him. Although I don't think the reason that they never met would be that Bill never came to Hogwarts for the final task, but that he didn't move back to England to join the Order. I imagine that, without Voldemort, Bill would have stayed in Egypt, and Fleur would have learned English from someone else. I didn't like her at first in the HP series, but I do feel that they are the perfect couple now.
It's interesting to imagine what Malfoy would have been like if Voldemort never existed. Perhaps he would've been like you've portrayed him - a good kid. However, I'll never be a Dramoine shipper - Hermione/Ron is the perfect match to me.
I really liked this One-shot, and I think you've done a wonderful job with it. Your writing is excellent, and I really enjoyed it. I think it was a new, fresh way of writing about how sad it is that Fred and George had to be separated like that. It was really great, so thank you :)Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you liked this! And you're right about how Bill and Fleur wouldn't have met; I'll make sure to change that. Thanks so much for taking the time out to read and review my story! :) Report Review
Hey there! Thanks so much for requesting!
I actually really loved this story! It was a super fun read, with moments of both sadness and humour and it was super interesting to think about how things would've turned out if Voldemort never existed.
I think the best thing about this story was your characterizations. I loved the way you began it, with the interactions between Fred and George. Fred was just so perfectly in character, and I loved his funny little remarks. I love how thought George was slightly off his rocker.
Dumbledore was great-you did a really good job writing him, as he is a very difficult character to get right. I thought it was great how he kept dropping little hints to George about what was going on-Dumbledore is always super all-knowing, even in dreams as it seems!
I loved the bit about Fleur and Bill not meeting because its so true and I never thought of that before! It's little details like that that really made this story so enjoyable and thought provoking.
I loved how you said: 'But guilt coursed through him as he watched Fred chuck dinner rolls at a protesting Percy with Ron. Isn't this what he wished for, what everyone who had survived the war could only dream of?' It was a perfect line and very thought provoking. George's character was great in this one-shot.
Thanks for the great read!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Whew, I'm glad you think my characterizations were good! I always find that so difficult with fanfictions. I'm touched to hear how much you liked my story. Thank you so much for taking the time out to read and review it! :) Report Review
Hey, there, its Gabbie with your requested review and wow, what an interesting read. So, I'll admit that when I saw George/Angelina, I sort of freaked out and attacked this with way too much energy. But anyway, aside from that, this was perhaps a really unique way of looking at grief. How many times do people really say that they wished it never happened? And what would happen if it did? I think you played on that so well, giving George a sense of relief and happines that was bittersweet. For a moment there, I thought that it was happening for real and that somehow, in this story that Fred and everyone that had passed on had come back. There were some funny bits in here too with everyone making fun of George's "oddness" but it came across very well. I was surprised by some of the things you changed, like Draco and Hermione and how you explained Fleur's absence while Teddy had his parents. All the things that could have happened but never did. George did start getting a little uncomfortable after a while though and I liked that you put in his increasing unease with the BOOM! of his real life coming back. It took a lot for him to admit that what was happening around him was just a dream and the end to this was so sad! D':
I don't want to picture him all alone in his flat but you didn't shy away from the hardship of having Fred gone. So, bravo!
I really enjoyed this and actually think it woudl make a good AU story if you ever thought of continuing on from this! No CC's either, I thought everything was lovely. :3
Thanks for the read!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm really glad to here that you enjoyed it so much; it was one of my favorite things to write. And no CC's? Wow, thanks! I really appreciate you taking the time out to read my story. :) Report Review
Hello, Laurenzo7321 here with your requested review!
I really enjoyed this story and how you included lots of nice details about what could have been. It was really well thought out - particularly about Fleur, I'd have completely forgot she wasn't supposed to have met Bill. It's a shame, I missed her too!
The Fred/George reunion was so sweet! Especially as Fred had no idea what was going on. I loved the banter between the twins, you kept them very true to character.
As I said before, the attention to all the details is great. I think you managed to get everyone in there. I wasn't completely convinced on the whole Hermione/Draco - I think Lucius would still have a pure blood is better hold over Draco and so maybe more back story to that would have been better, although hard in a one shot. I really felt for poor Ron.
Your characterisation of Dumbledore was great - he is a seriously difficult character to write and so a massive well done to you. I love how he hinted to George what was going on too - the man doesn't miss a trick - even in dreams!
The other thing I would comment on, if you were to ever edit this, is that you mentioned more about Lily and James in particular. Obviously Harry has a much happier homelife that you hinted at but it would have been great to have met them somehow. Same with Sirius, Remus and Tonks. I'm guessing that even though the Order never came into being, Remus and Tonks still fell for each other as Teddy is mentioned. I know it would be hard as you've brought them all together at a Weasley party but it would really be great to have seen.
The other bit of CC I would say is that it ended a bit suddenly. it would have been great to get some more of George's feelings after the dream. How he felt having Fred back for the day and so on.
This was a great read though, I really enjoyed it!
Lauren :)Author's Response: I get what you mean about Draco/Hermione after rereading; I'll definitely look into adding a bit of back story to make it more believable. And I'm touched to hear you thought I did well in characterizing Dumbledore! He is very difficult, and I'm glad to know I was able to do him justice. Concerning Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks, I sort of just mentioned them because the main focus is on George. Delving more into that would be a great idea for a companion piece though, so I'll keep that in mind! You're not the first person to give me CC about the ending; I'll make sure to edit it and describe his emotions. Thank you so much for your review; it was very helpful! Report Review
Hello! Iím here with you requested review!
I really liked how you wrote in third person for two reasons. The first being it shows your strength of writing as itís considerably harder to write in 3rd than 1st so well done for that! And secondly, JK Rowling wrote in 3rd person, therefore it maintains a resemblance to the book, and makes it more Harry Pottery (If that makes sense!).
I thought that your characterisation of Fred and George was great, as it just seemed so natural, and realistic. You also succeeded in placing jokes of their type into the dialogue, so well done for that, as Iíve tried doing so, but itís very hard, as theyíre wit is hard to capture. I also thought that their interactions with one another, were well done as well.
I think you showed the contrast between Georgeís confusion of him being there, and Fredís normality very well, as it was done so well, it made me wonder whether this was an AU story, and Fred hadnít died after all.
I wasnít too sure about the mention of Draco/Hermione, as though I do ship them, I felt here it did seem a bit odd, as it was out of context as you couldnít really understand why they were like that. I feel with a ship which is so hard to make believable like this one, unless itís not the main focus of the one Ėshot, as then you can explain the backstory, itís best to avoid it all together, as it just leads to confusion.
I loved that it was a dream though, as it shows you that however much you want something to happen, sometimes it just canít be that way, and youíll have to deal with it.
I thought this was a really interesting one-shot and it definitely did make you feel emotionally connected to the story, as you didnít want it to be a dream either. The only CCís I can give really, is perhaps edit the Dramione bit, to make it more believable, and perhaps explore Georgeís feelings more in depth at the end, as I found they werenít as detailed as they had been at the beginning.Author's Response: I see what you mean about Draco and Hermione after reading your review and reading through my story again. I'll definitely add in more to explain! And I've gotten a bunch of CC about how the ending seems to be lacking so I'm going to edit that as well. Thank you so much for your review; it was very helpful! And thank you for the kind words as well! Report Review
Here for your requested review!
Aw, this was such a sad, and happy, fic at the same time. I almost wished that George's dream was not merely a dream, and it was all actually true. I loved the way you wrote the dream moments though, it had this humorous edge to him as George tried to figure out what was happening, and the way everything was happening. Dumbledore's scene was also quite funny, and I giggled at the part where Draco and Hermione are cuddling together. I think you wrote it all quite nicely. As for your concern about the flow, I think you dont need to be concerned at all, it flowed really smoothly. The transitions between different scenes were neat, and the ending also put everything in place without it coming across as abrupt.
The level of interest was very high, especially for me. I was hooked reading the entire time, and there wasn't a part which I found boring or draggy. I enjoyed it immensely.
George's characterisation was nicely done, it was quite realistic and natural, the way he behaved during the dream and after. I liked the way that even in the dream he seemed to know that it was all too good to be true - it is sad yeah but its correct. It all showed how much he really cared for his brother and missed him, and how much he wanted everything to be normal, yet he knew it wasn't really possible.
The other characters like Ron, Hermione, Fred, Draco etc. that made their brief appearances were also crafted well, and fit in nicely with the dream's happy times.
All in all, this made for a good read and the only CC I'd like to give you is that, maybe in the ending, explore and focus more on George's feelings. Add in a little more emotion on how much he missed Fred and how much he wanted everything to be normal. If you add in some more feelings in the ending, and then finish the story, it would be even nicer. Apart from that, this was good stuff and I liked it.
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! The ending was the part I was most concerned about, it seemed a bit fast for me, so I'll definitely take your CC into consideration. Glad you liked it! :) Report Review
Any way its so cool i mean like total gift for george
and+ its FUNNY . Good package in one (btw do u support
dramione? I dont (sorry all those dramiones there :( ) but
all in all a big BIG bada BOOM smile!! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you liked it. :) And no I don't like Dramione; I used to but then I got some sense, haha. Report Review
I got so scared wen i thot it was a dramione thank got
it isnotAuthor's Response: Haha! Definitely not; they're just mentioned. Report Review
Amazing! Wish you had more ideas, this could become an ADVENTURE!Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
I'd give you a 10/10, if it weren't for the way this ended. I suppose the gift from Fred was having a day with him, being normal, never having had to confront Riddle and his Ridiculous Rude Nibblers. That was good. though as much as I like a friendly Draco, him with Hermione is just wrong. The story however was good and a very much wish for dream. Good One!Author's Response: Thanks for your review! Especially your honest criticism. :) Report Review
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