I am running back and forth with theories of Rose/Scorpius and Rose/Teddy, driving myself insane. I must know who she falls in love with!
I think my favorite part of the chapter was when Victoire whispered for him not to call her 'Vicky'. It felt like in that moment, something broken between them. I don't know if it's repairable or not, but it definitely meant something.
Great job. I've enjoyed reading this. Report Review
Beautiful. I could gush endlessly about this chapter - especially the bit about gossamer threads weaving between Victoire and Teddy, with their inside-jokes and memories and secrets, both of them two halves of a whole. They complement each other in every way, understanding only each other and shutting the rest of the world out because their love for each other is so consuming that they simply don't NEED anyone else. I also loved seeing more of Dominique's characterization - how she is more vapid than she would like for people to think her. She wants to be seen as this mysterious creature, this person that no one can define into specific words, but she is. Like you said - for all of her volatility, she is predictable. Stunning. I can't wait to see what happens next. Report Review
The imagery here completely blew me away. I am still sitting here like :O
Favorite bits: that double edged sword that cuts me deeper the more I cling to it.
- I can relate to this so much. I can REALLY relate to Rose. There are many times when I feel like I'm just pulled along in a current, surrounded by people more shining and remarkable than myself, by enigmas like Scorpius and balls of radiant light like Dominique. But if you peel their layers, Scorpius and Dominique are no better than Rose. And even though she is quiet and undemanding and doesn't want to argue and make waves, she is half Granger and I know she's got something to say.
I find them all there, gathered around a roaring bonfire that is a flickering blue bell shade that twists my lips in an involuntary smile.
- I don't know what it is about this, but I can't get it out of my head. I love it. The way you shape words is just amazing.
It's so heartbreaking that Ron and Hermione aren't together anymore, but I suppose that's more realism for you. These days, just about everyone is divorced.
This chapter was brilliant. The sea, the loneliness she works so hard to maintain, the solitude - everything. I could picture it all very easily. Report Review
I loved the imagery you used, your metaphors, your diction - it's like you paint with words. I love the stream of consciousness and the mystery of what is to happen. Most of all, I love the realism. Love is messy. Love is painful. Love is not always returned in the way you want it to be. Love drives people to lunacy, and yet it is the most remarkable sensation in the world. I am very curious to learn more about this Rose and her experiences with love. Report Review
Firstly, let me just tell you, I am a newfound fan. I enjoy your writing style immensely and I've never read a story like this one before. Rose's character is befitting and utterly mysterious, and I can't wait to read more about her and how she develops. Please update soon! Report Review
Lovely story. :) I think Rose's perspective is especially interesting, and how she views the people around her is different, and insightful. Report Review
Ooh, tres intriguing!!!
Just the beginning, so there's not much more to say, but that I really liked it! Lots of the time recently I've been reading ffs with lots of spelling/grammar mistakes so writing that flows is a welcome break! :D Report Review
Tension! I'm a sucker for those kinds of people-circling-around-each-other trying to get the other to break sort of thing. And I love Scorpius. This, especially:
"I have seen it before. It is the hunger of the writer within him to know, to understand, to analyse and capture in neat little words."
I love Rose's high horse and how she belittles his attempt to figure her out. I do think I tend to cheer on the flaws of characters a bit too much, heh;; I can see it sort of like this: she likes thinking she's better than Dom and Vic but she wishes life were so simple for her. The price of cynicism. But it's not really a big problem for her, which is also why she gets vaguely offended by Scorpius, because he's insisting there's a problem. Clock pieces indeed!Author's Response: Isn't it FUN? I love indulging in my over dramaric side :)
I have this thing for broken, bitter characters. It worries me, but I like them so much more than happy, normal ones. The amount of valid criticism Rose has gotten is actually terrifying, since she's an exaggeration of my own cynical tendencies :P, but I really am enjoying playing with the Scorose here: they are both so similar, yet they'd hate that they realised it and on fundamental points they are very different.
Thankyou so much for this lovely review, it really does mean a lot to hear that YOU enjoyed it. Apologies for the delay in responding, today is literally the first time in months I've dared look at my unanswered reviews! Report Review
Usually I don't review first chapters, but I must must must must make an exception. This Rose. This Rose! She's so perfectly cold but more than that and wistful. I can totally see the way she sees love and how it seems to have affected her (my latent cynical side is the same way). And how you tease! I *need* to know how this ends! I need to see how she changed! I want to see all her mess ups and that bittersweetness I know is to come!
I see that WIP status right there, That better not stay WIP forever!Author's Response: I hate it when authors don't finish stories, so even though my inspiration for this is lagging, I will *try* to finish it!
I'm so glad you like my Rose! It's quite hard to balance cynicism and idealism and still make her likable, as later chapters show, but the Rose of this chapter - the changed one - is the one I really want to write!
Thanks so much for the review, I DO appreciate it more than I can say; this is my most difficult story and encouragement goes a long way :P Report Review
Wow, your imagery was really powerful. You had a lot of really beautiful lines like "Once you close that garden gate..." Awesome! Report Review
more soon please! this an amazing story and it needs to be updated! Report Review
no update!?!?!? So disappointing. Please update soon. This is like getting a lump of coalAuthor's Response: I'm sorry, I just had to fix up some typos and show off the new banner. I'm currently in my very last few weeks of college, taking exams that will literally determine my life, so I do have to ask you to be patient. Updates will come as soon as possible, and not any sooner. Report Review
He drinks in beauty, but he does not reflect it, he swallows it whole.
-sighs- JO!! that is divine!! simply divine! and now, i am going to praise you so sssh!
there is so much i loved about this chapter. as always, the visual, the stunning picture you paint with your words blows me away. the poetry of your language makes me feel like i am being transported, taken away from my computer desk and off somewhere else. this fic has an out-of-timeness about it, i can't quite explain what i mean, but it doesn't seem...current, if that's the word i can use. and i like that. it appears older, if that makes any sense at all. perhaps it is Rose's narrative, her voice, that makes me feel that, I don't know.
characterisation. wow. i love Rose. she is so different to the Rose we normally get but that doesn't matter. she is her own, she is yours, and you write her so seamlessly. her flaws are so apparent, her disdain is so apparent. it's brilliant. i can sense a turn in her after this chapter, after that confrontation with Scorpius, who surprised me. i didn't expect that from him, but rather than turn me off, it has me more intrigued.
so pairing wise, I haven't actually noticed what you listed, if any, but I'm getting a rose/scorpius or a rose/teddy feeling. teddy seems more than the older brother figure, but maybe that is my longing because they work well together and you would do them justice as a couple.
okay, i loved this. plain and simple. i have to read more of your stories.
kate xx Report Review
yay shirtless Teddy!
i like shy scorpius - it such a nice change from the playboy we often get. don't change him just yet!
this was lovely. really captivating and i actually enjoyed rose's wallowing. it was very real, and i feel sad for her. im not sure if thats what you intended the reader to feel, but i do. i want to give her a hug for being so obviously blind to the beauty in the world.
i loved the scene on the beach. it was such an ethereal picture, a slice from another world and i could feel Rose's dislocation from that. well done.
you're a fantastic writer, you know that.
i shall be back to continue!
Kate xxAuthor's Response: Kate, you are FAR too kind. Really though! I am in awe of your skill, so this review literally made me blush!
I really did want different, but hopefully believable characters. If they change, it really will be a slow change!
Rose does overdo the wallow, but that is genuinely her POV - she's so bitter and self absorbed that she's missing out on life because she's obsessing about how she's missing out on life. I wasn't sure how audiences would respond to that - thankyou so much for such an amazing review! Report Review
nice set up...i think, lol. that is, of course, if you are setting us up...
ive never read your work before...why is that? because i am an idiot. this was lovely - poetic and bittersweet and somehow, hopeful.
i love your use of language of of literary devices - gorgeous imagery!!
sorry this is short - i really enjoyed this beginning. adding to favs!
kate xxAuthor's Response: haha you can be confused.. I am setting you up, but the rest of this was a strange prologue-comes-first story in which I have much less of a plan then I normally do.
I really haven't been around that long! Only for a year and a bit, and I only started writing other stories this year.
Thankyou SO much for the review - it absolutely blew me away, because you have been one of my favourite authors for some time now, and I'm very happy you enjoyed it! Report Review
After reading the new lonely-hearts-club-chapter and after reading this one I'm a little tired to write a very long and meaningful comment. It's after 1 a.m. and I'm almost sleeping ... but I don't want to let you wait for your comment. I've read this chapter now and so I will review it now. That's what you deserve, you awesome author ;-)
I like this chapter very much because it's not telling us more about Rose's inner life and thoughts and how Scorpius' words bring her to a point which finally changed something in her life - as you've already written in your author's note. So she accepts that she's the Rose she is and is feeling much better. Now I want to have a conversation between her and Scorpius again ... and I'm very excited how it will goes this time :D
Oh, and I hope that Teddy and Vic aren't argueing too much in the next chapter. I want them to be the perfect couple again :P
Looking forward to the next chapter,
P.S.: The first passage about the rain was brilliant. And by the way it fits perfectly that I've read this chapter this night because at the moment it's raining as if the world is going to go down forever *lol* Report Review
beautiful. I enjoy the tone of this chapter and the climax that it built to Rose's reaction towards herself and her life up to that point.
The beginning made me think of Rose as a ghost passing and watching life only internally commenting on the goings of everyone around her. I'm wondering if she is a little jaded about love because of her parents and was a little sad that her thoughts were so brief and fleeting on the subject.
Is Victoire perhaps jealous or she too feels like Rose that fate has decided who she is and who she should be with and is wanting to break the ties that are expected of her?
I like how Rose's decision was done very much like a rain drop from the beginning of story where she has taken her lifetime of work and suddenly makes the effort to change like the splattering of a raindrop.
I adore the correlations and layers you gave the characters and story. It just gives so much to your story. Update when you can because it is always worth the wait. Report Review
wonderful chapter! Rose is becoming less whiny. I am liking her more with each chapter. I also like the background bit about Scorpius. He's so mysterious! Scorpius and Roses' similarities as loners are interesting.Author's Response: I struggle writing Rose because at this stage she's so woe is me, so hopefully she'll get more and more likable!
I realised I hadn't really shown why Scorpius and Rose are the way they are, so I had to put that in. but there are some definite similarities to the two that are very important :)
Thanks for the review, I do appreciate it! Report Review
It's updated! (As if you didn't know that). I really enjoyed the expansion of the characters in this chapter. Having the five of them locked indoors was a great means to accheive such developement. The intense feeling of being too much in one another's business was very real. Walls really do feel paper thin when you are spending too much time with someone else.
I really enjoyed the bit of back story of both Rose and Scorpius. And while they are both unique, I think I'd rather meet bohemian risky, writer Scorpius than the not a mini-Hermione Rose. He sounds rather wonderful in a bit of a live on the edge bad boy sort of way. :D The relationship between Teddy and Rose was strangely perfect. It is so true that you tend to be closest to people that you can sit in comortable silence with. I'm very anxious to see where this is going with the five of them, Vic and Ted, and mostly Rose and Ted's lessons together.
I thought that this was a great chapter, well worth the wait.
Ps. LOOOVED the little Frued mention. bahahaha...Author's Response: Oh. Is it really? bahaha I say stuff like that all the time in reviews.
Nothing really has happened yet, and I needed them all in one space to show how/why things are falling apart. Similarly backstory was really needed to show why Rose is so insecure .. though Scor is coming across more positively than I wanted.. oh SO couldn't leave out Freud, psych has taken over my life completely!
Thankyou so much for such a lovely, in depth and encouraging review. It really does mean a lot coming from you my dear!
xx Report Review
ahh this is such a different story. but i like it. its good. please update soon!Author's Response: It is a bit wierd, isn't it? Collette Michelle's 'That Summer" is based on a similar idea but is a much happier story and there are actually fifty million other stories based on this song out but this is.. more a story of self discovery than plot based. I'm glad you like it anyway, and I will update as soon as I can! -kicks multiple wips- Report Review
I loved it as always. I love Teddy. Why are they fighting? I can't wait for the next update, I hope it's soon. 10/10
~SxRAuthor's Response: Teddy is just.. Teddy :)
I should make you wait and see why they are fighting, but this response is a good month late, so I will let you in on their secret - Teddy loves Vic more, and differently, from how she loves him. They had the beautiful, perfect first love of childhood, but that doesn't always work out, and growing apart from your first love is maybe the most painful thing either of them will ever go through.
Update.. is sort of coming. Life is a bit mad, but I'll do my best! Thanks for the review, and many apologies for how late this is! Report Review
I loved it. The characters are so interesting. This is definitely going into my favorites. 10/10
~SxRAuthor's Response: You're very kind :)
I'm glad you found it interesting and I hope the rest doesn't disappoint! Thankyou so much for reviewing, it really does mean a lot! Report Review
I loved it, your descriptions are seducing, if not a little hainting. I can picture absolutely everything. 10/10
~SxRAuthor's Response: Oooh that's lovely to hear. This is a very visual piece (if that makes sense?) and I really did want the description to be vivid but hopefully natual as well.
Thankyou for reviewing! Report Review
I loved this, it was interesting and I am quite curious to see how it goes. 10/10
~SxR Report Review
You know, I was sat reviewing earlier and got to 399 and thought "Hm, I don't know what to give my 400th to" and now, just a few hours later, here is the most perfect opportunity.
Just...how do you write so purely and simply and yet so completely beautifully? Just a smattering of my favourite lines:
- each drop is a dream given up, a love soured or a day, or week, or lifetime wasted.
- "Because if I understood that, I wouldn't be me."
- I want it. I need it. I want freedom, I want power, I want to go away and be able to leave everything and everyone behind me in the blink of an eye.
I just love Rose more and more by the chapter. There's something so strangely likeable about her, in spite of her (wonderful) angstiness and I just adore her voice so much.
Scorpius and Dominique fit far better than I might have expected. He is especially strong and increasingly likeable, if only because you've made him so unique and different from all the other takes I've seen on him.
Teddy - what a darling and I want to squish him into a huge Teddy puddle. I really am feeling very sorry for him, yet can't bring myself to pin any blame on Victoire. It's all so dysfunctional and so fantastic at the same time.
Intriguing, beautiful, SUPER ANGSTY (♥) - nothing can beat this.
xx Report Review
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