The banner is beautiful. This story is great 9/10 : ) Report Review
Woah. Excellent portrayal of Minerva's character, and the setting and feeling in the story was brilliant.
All in all, a fantasic and intriguing story.
My mum knows the actress who plays Moaning Myrtle :D I know you're probably thinking "Pffssh, like I haven't heard that one before" but it's true. She stayed in Rosyth when my mum did and they knew each other. Cool, huh? Sorry, that wasn't relevant, just felt like saying.
10/10 xx Report Review
So sorry for the lateness of this review hun! I've been busy and have only recently gotten to my review thread :) So let's just plunge right into it shall we?
First of all, I am heavily biased against second person >.< I dunno, it's just me getting confused with reading and writing it, but luckily, I did not mind it as much in this piece. It flowed nicely and each sentence seems to flow into the next quite nicely. Nothing to worry about in that area :)
Myrtle's loneliness is palpable. It's so thick, so consuming, it defined her and definite her relationship with others. In this piece, its like she's an emotional vampire, she sucks every bit of emotion out of you for her own needs that even though you want to love her and you want to care, you can't help but feel relief when the bounds and finally cut. The expression of those feelings were intense and overpowering (which was why the use of second person didn't bother me so much XD) What's more impressive is how you wove in Minerva's guilt. I quite liked that part myself and it didn't feel like coldness when you put it into perspective. It felt natural and it felt so realistic.
All in all Melanie, I loved this fic! An excellent piece indeed! Report Review
First off, thanks for participating! I'm so excited to read everyone's stories, but since I'm already familiar with you as an author and know I love your work, I just had to read this first. And wow!
Brilliant on so many levels. I'm a fan of the bizarre, whatever takes us by surprise. Really, in fan fiction, I feel like we need to explore the minor characters and the ships that JKR would never imagine in order to truly push ourselves as writers. And you've definitely done that. Props for putting these two together in a convincing manner that didn't compromise their characterization.
The point of view was a risk, but I think you pulled it off. What makes it work is the title, so I see it as a snapshot in her mind, like a running monologue or commentary, so it really works. It was sad, but so honest. That sort of relationship isn't always explored here, and I love that you found it and made it work. It's not necessarily unrequited love, but more of a sense of obligation that starts to sink in with guilt. I can unfortunately relate.
Overall, keep doing what you do. Make us say, "wow." And thanks for writing!Author's Response: Haha, well you would know about minor characters and ships! Beetles and Butterflies is still one of the best one-shots I've read on this entire site. :-)
I'm happy to hear the characterization wasn't compromised. It was a fun challenge, putting together two characters who really aren't at all similar.
I agree, I think the title is important to how the story reads, and making the POV work. 2nd person is dangerous, but I've always wanted to try it out.
Thanks so much for the review! And thanks for the challenge! Report Review
I was interested in your pairing, so I clicked... And looky what I found.
I always thought Minerva older than Myrtle, as in a good ten years older... But I guess it works. *Shrugs*
Your narrative is a little addictive... I'm off to trawl through your work.
xEAuthor's Response: I double checked the ages, and they were only two years apart, as I understand it. But I think it's easy to see Myrtle as much younger, because she's frozen at 15 years old as a ghost.
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
I have come to the conclusion that you are REALLY GOOD at writing. Second person usually gets annoying after awhile, but you managed to pull it off and the mood you created was great (well the quality was, not the actual subject). The very end was almost creepy and gave it a ghost-story feeeling for which I applaud you. Probably one of the most unexpected pairings I've ever seen and you did a fantastic job of it. I award you the other half of my hamburger.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really wanted to try 2nd person, and I'm glad it worked out.
I'm a big canon follower, so it's a little out of my element to do strange pairings. Very rewarding, though.
And thanks for the hamburger! XD Report Review
This was really well-done. (: I enjoyed reading it thoroughly, and it was... beautiful. Especially that last line. Wow. So... haunting. (:
I've never read a Minerva/Myrtle, never even heard of one, but I saw the link in your sig at the forums and decided to read it.
Brilliantly done. (:
-Jasmine Report Review
Wow I love your stories. Each one is so unique and different that I feel like separate people write each one! You're so adaptable and versatile and imaginative. Not that I'm jealous or anything... :P
Each word and phrase means something in this, or so I felt anyway! Nothing that's said in this story is wasted, which really intensifies the emotion and increases the sense that you're part of what's going on. Every sentence just works consistantly with each other, so the mood flows all the way through.
Also it's like a "well spoken" story, like in terms of vocabulary and sentence structure, just like Minerva talks normally as she's obviously very clever. Her personality is perfectly done, from how she thinks and feels and why she liked Myrtle in the first place.
I also liked the person (?) it was in, like how it's written as "you think". Is this second person? Sorry I'm not very "person" savvy. :D It gave it a unique edge for me because I've not read many stories like this.
I'll stop writing all this waffle now! I'll just end and say that I loved the whole idea of this story and I've always had a soft spot for Myrtle because it's clear how lonely she is. Which is always sad. :( Oo and her presence in this story was almost ghostly, like she wasn't really there which reflected how insubstantial she felt in real life. :)
I promise I'll stop now! :D Thank you again for a great read!
10/10 Report Review
Melanie, this is beautiful. Not to mention extremely unique. Minerva/Myrtle. You have Officially Gone Where No One Has Before.
The imagery you painted with your words here is just stunning. The interaction between Minerva and Myrtle in the flashbacks is powerful. I can't even put into words what I mean. Mostly that this has blown me away. It paints Minerva in a way I've never seen her before. Someone with very great faults, someone who might hurt someone else just to feel needed. Or whatever weird game she was playing with Myrtle's feelings. It's immensely powerful.
The questions asked. 'Do you really suffer?' That entire bit, about her grieving, or not grieving is probably my favorite in the whole piece. That and the ending. About the familiar wail and Minerva thinking that this is grief. Nobody left to weep. WOW
I love you and your amazing writing skills. And I am using this for the new Chaser, just so you know :)
~ShilohAuthor's Response: Thanks for the great review, Shiloh! I am so flattered. I always worry about my capabilities with imagery and emotions, so to hear you enjoyed it so much is really awesome.
And oh, yes, Minerva's faults! I really love her character, but it was fun doing something else with her for a change.
THANK YOU for featuring this in the Chaser! I am speechless!
Melanie Report Review
My goodness Melanie!
I am not really a big fan of slash, but this is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!
We know that nobody really liked Myrtle, but Minerva tries to mourn her death, and in the end, not even she can shed a single tear.
Like Marina's Filch/Rosmerta (If my memory serves me correctly) paring, this is another unusual pair. A pairing I would NEVER see be put together. You make them believable. Not many people would, but you do.
I simply love this dear!
♥Author's Response: Thanks so much Alicia! I wanted to try my hand at a truly odd pairing, and I've also been wanting to explore slash - so I figured, Minerva is always shipped with Tom; why not try something else?
Thank you for your review! xoxo Report Review
I kid :P
Darling, this was brilliant. Completely and utterly brilliant.
You captured Minerva so incredibly, it was just amazing. I love that her independence was what destroyed their relationship. Myrtle and Minerva, God, they would not suit, but on the other hand I think I could see some feeling lingering below the surface.
And second person! You pulled it off so well and I love you for it :D As you might have guessed I have a soft spot for second person and this shows me why I love it; it gives amazing air to your story, as if you're gently persuading the reading to see the situation from Minerva's POV. Brilliant work!
And now the completely ingenious line that hit this fic completely out of the ballpark:
You have not yet realised that the haunting has just begun.
Good God, I'm not even going to try and put my love for this line in words. It's so completely haunting, chilling and amazing that to do so word be stupid.
Completely Innocent Bystander
xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you, Georgia!! xoxoxo
No, it's true, I couldn't see them ever working out in the long run - Minerva would have been far too irritated - but I could see it as one of those relationships you just fall into because of loneliness before realizing that it's not at all what you want. And it would have slowly eaten away at her independence, which is what I tried to get at here.
(Point is, Minerva/Myrtle is nowhere near as promising as Hugo/Louis.) XD
This is the first time I've ever tried real second person, and I'm very happy with it! I like the way you put it - "gently persuading the reader." I think second person, when done well, allows for better insights into a character's thoughts and emotions, and can actually seem more genuine than first person.
I have gotten such a great response to that final line - I'm glad I decided to use it! I hadn't planned on it at first, and then it sort of came to me. :-)
Thank you so much! I always love your reviews.
TGS' Resident Deviant
Was there ever a more genius pairing? I think not! Not only is it original, but it's actually a possible one, as well. You haven't just thrown two random characters together in an attempt to be a bit different - here you've really created a believable relationship in a likely setting. And the way you wrote it made absolute sense, as well, with Minerva's need for control and Myrtle's insecurites.
Plus, it was really nice to see these characters written about in this way - Minerva stories usually just involve her being paired with Tom Riddle, and with Myrtle it's usually just her as a ghost complaining about how rotten her life was and her death is.
Minerva was written brilliantly, by the way. Absolutely spot on. Everything about her seemed like the adult McGonagall from the series, and yet she was obviously a teenager at the same time and all her thoughts were very age appropriate. I liked the bit we saw of Myrtle as well, and the line about her family was really interesting too, with the bit about her father fighting in the war. I mean, obviously she must have had a family, but it's not really the kind of thing you think about, so I just thought that was a nice detail to add in there.
Your writing, of course, was fabulous, but that pretty much goes without saying :D Oh, and that last line! Brilliant. And very chilling. But anyway, I just loved the whole thing!Author's Response: Thanks, Lizzie! I love that you find this a possible pairing - it makes me so happy to hear that. I wasn't sure at first, but the more I think about it, the more I really think it could have worked.
Minerva's one of those complicated characters who's tricky to write - especially as a child/teenager - so thanks for your comments on her!
That thing about Myrtle's family just came to me. We knew she wasn't pureblood, since the Basilisk attacked her, so I've always wondered what her family was like. She didn't seem like someone who was privileged, so I assumed her father would probably have been called to fight as a soldier in WWII.
Thanks so much for this great review! I really appreciate it.
Melanie Report Review
Actually, I caught the topic on the HPFF forums where you were asking for help on the title. While I floundered there (and couldn't help, sorry, although I really like the title that you ended up going with - it's beautiful and poetic), the idea of this ship sounded intriguing so I ended up stalking down your author's page and... voila.
And I'm really glad that I did! This fic was everything that I hoped it to be, and more. Your beautiful descriptions, linking the personified weather to Minerva's feelings, your use of imagery to create such a muted atmosphere, your use of second person to explore McGonagall's thoughts just that degree sharper... and those last lines. Just, wow. I love how you didn't over-describe the relationship, or sicken it with sentimentality, but rather left hints of it for us readers to catch. I think that you've really made this pairing seem plausible, while leaving both characters IC. A beautiful read, thank you. ^_^Author's Response: I was floored to hear that you've been watching for this fic ever since I posted about it - the reaction to this new ship has been surprisingly positive. I didn't think I'd get such a good response to it!
I like how you phrased the bit about second person making it possible to explore Minerva's thoughts a degree sharper. I've been sort of intrigued by second person, even while being a bit wary of it at the same time, and I figured this was a good time to explore that style. It almost seems more genuine to me than first person, and in this case, also slightly more accusatory - so it fit what I was trying to do perfectly.
Both characters IC, and a plausible pairing at that? XD I couldn't ask for better praise!
I really appreciate your review, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! Report Review
That last line was utterly creepy. It opens the story up to so many different possibilities and makes me rethink Myrtle's ghost completely. Wow. What a perfect ending line! It suits the story because of Myrtle - for any other ghost (other than Peeves, who isn't a ghost in the first place) it would seem too light or comical, but Myrtle can't help being comical, even while she is also a tragic, pathetic figure.
I'll try not to write a whole review based on a single line of your story. Up to that line, I was caught up in your prose, which sounds beautiful - it flows, it's emotionally moving, and very poetic with alliteration and metaphors/similes, all combining to make for a brilliant one-shot. The ship alone fascinated me, and I'm still working my head around it - it's new and strange, but it makes sense in its own way, too.
Another fantastic story from you! I had to stalk you on TDA to find it, but I'm glad I did. It's always a pleasure to read your work. ^_^Author's Response: Wow, Susan, I was so happy to see your review for this story! I'm very flattered, and I'm really happy that you especially liked the last line - that wasn't always the plan as I was writing this, and as I was about halfway through with it, I suddenly realized what direction I wanted to take it in.
The ship is strange, to say the very least! But I started to think that it might be somewhat plausible, depending on how it's handled.
Thanks for stalking! I always appreciate your reviews! ^_^
Melanie Report Review
I can only say two words. wow wow wow, wait thats three.
please R n R MINE!Author's Response: Thank you!
I'm a bit backed up on my reviewing at the moment, but I will make an attempt to R&R yours. :-) Report Review
I loved it! I had a feeling I would;)
It was brilliant, really brilliant. I loved how your imagery was so cold, so ghostly. The ending literally gave me shivers.
And the title you selected was perfect. It was wonderful, I would certainly choose you to win this challenge. :D *sighs* What a lovely (how is lovely? It's about death! Oh you know what I mean... ;)) one-shot you've written. :D [339738209 / 10] ... :)Author's Response: Thank you so very much! I was a bit insecure about this fic, so I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. And I know what you mean about something being lovely despite the theme of death. XD
Cheers! Report Review
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