Well written. I love reading others work that have Narcissa and Bellatrix that is written differently than how I write them. In mine Bella and Cissa aren't close at all, they fought constantly, and at times hate each other. It's nice to see them close, as sisters should be(: Report Review
Hey there! It's dreamschemes from the forums!
First off, good job. For someone who usually writes romance and dramas, I think you did well. It does seem a little angst-y, which definitely suits Bellatrix well. And though she's not entirely my favorite character, she's definitely interesting and you portray her nicely.
As for my general opinion, I've enjoyed it. Although, I just have one thing to ask: Why would they have a maid, especially in such a I'm-better-than-you pureblood family where they would have perhaps a gazillion house elves at their disposal. But all-in-all, I think the emotions she demonstrated were very realistic and in-character, with the jealousy and whatnot.
Thank you for your request!
dream_schmeanAuthor's Response: Thanks for your review! Yeah, I was just concered about the attitude and stage setting it had to it. Thanks for giving your input. :) Haha I never thought about the house elf, but I suppose a maid seemed more prominent with a baby on the way I guess. XD
Thanks for the review! I haven't had any in a while so I thought I'd request a few lol. Report Review
Hello. Here to review :)
I love love Bella, she is my favorite Death Eater so I was soo excited to read this when I saw you posted it. :) And I must say, I wasn't disappointed. I really enjoyed, just a few things I need to point out though.
Bella was most likely born and lived around Grimmauld place, because remember that Kreacher adored her- which meant she was around him loads and it's their ancestral home, so I'd say that it's most likely that they were born there.
Just a little nitpick, at the part where your talking about Andy's wedding and you said 'Bellatrix and Narcissa didn't even bother to show up at the wedding.'- I think you might want to say that 'none' of the family went to the wedding and didn't want anything to do with her after it and that she was blown off the tapestry.
I don't think they'd have a maid, just house-elves that they can look down upon and would have to do what they were told, hence all the heads in Grimmauld place.
Other than those things, I really enjoyed it. It was a lovely idea behind it and the ending was nice.
Good job with it!Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't really pay attention to the specific details as much as I should have. =X But I'm glad you pointed them out! :) Glad you liked the story. Report Review
This was great seeing it from Bella's point of view. I loved your detailed work. I didn't see any problems, and the story flowed the whole time. Good luck in this contest, I believe you have an AMAZING shot.:)Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm glad you liked it, I enjoyed writing it. Bellatrix was a 180 degree turn for me, so I'm glad that it turned out good! :) Report Review
Hi, NGseries here to review! :D
I really enjoyed the imagery in this - I could honestly feel it. That's what matters a lot for me; having strong emotions from writing. It certainly says that you have written a good fic - which it is. :)
I have always sort of wondered about Bellatrix's past. JKR really doesn't tell you a whole lot about it and it's interesting to see someone take it on. Especially in this form. You hit the dot on Bella's characterization, for the most part. She seemed dark, haunted, and somewhat mysterious... the only thing I would suggest when writing a character like Bellatrix is to add more twisted thoughts. If that makes sense. There were very few errors in spelling, if any. Something I really do appreciate. I sometimes have a slip on my spelling in my fics and I feel terrible when reading back on it. It's really important to show the reader's that you care and worked hard on a fic - something I'd say you pretty much achieved. :D
I'm not sure if you did this on purpose, but you capitalized after quotations. Not a big deal, but it isn't technically grammatical. In the first few chapters of The Emerald Room (my fic) I actually did that too. But I later realized that I probably shouldn't. Just some advice in case you were ever wondering.
By the way - lovely banner. :)
Cheers, ashAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I was wondering about her characterization...so I'm glad you said something about it. And I like the banner as well, the artist did a wonderful job! Glad you liked the story. :) Report Review
Hi! RoseWeasleysPatronus here to review your story for the challenge!
As soon as i saw that it was in Bellatrix's POV I really got interested! Bellatrix is evil but I love her character, she's my favorite Death Eater because of her eccentricities.
I liked how Bellatrix had nicknamed the tower after the births and also, how she'd shown bitterness and jealously towards her sister because beforehand she'd been favorite.
Also I think it is very much in Bellatrix's character to act like that.
Although you didn't directly show the whole birth you still managed to keep the theme around that and add your own twist to it which I like.
Very well done.
Keep an eye out for the results! xxAuthor's Response: thanks for the fun challenge! I enjoyed writing the story. It was a different change for me and I'm glad I did it! :) I sure will!! Report Review
wow, awesome!! I like it.. Well writen!
please R n R MINE! :DAuthor's Response: wow, thanks! I'm not sure how well I did on this story. :) I'll check into it! Report Review
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