Hmmm good. I like how you wrote Draco's feelings. It shows the reader how in love he had been in with Hermione. The only confusing part here is how Voldemort is Draco's father. That wasn't how it was in the book and there was no A/N to warn the readers about it but I understood it after a while. This one-shot was completly different from the countless other Dramione stories that I have read. I liked the strong feelings and I also liked the idea of voldemort being Draco's father because it was different from other stories. Keep on writing, even if it's not this story, because you are very talented.
Danceinggirl109Author's Response: Wow thanks! I'm sorry about the confusion. The main reason there isn't an A/N about it is because it's supposed to come as a shock to the reader. Really this one-shot was a shock piece more than anything and also to show that there is a more human side to Draco that we only get a glimpse of in the books. I'm glad you liked it. I may do another dramione in the future just for you ;) Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hey! It's Miriel to review your story!
First of all, I really liked it. It was completely different than other stories about Draco, because you made him Voldemort's son. That idea isn't new, but the way you wrote it made it somehow belivable, though I still find it extreme.
Draco said that his mother was just a conventional shag for Voldemort, do you refer on Narcissa here or is his mother somebody else? I'd really like to know that.
The whole scene in which Draco stands up against his father and slowly reveals the circumstances of his life was really touching. In the same way I, as the reader, started to like Draco as a character in this story, the Dark Lord's fury about Draco's revelations and actions increased. I don't know wether you wrote it that way intentionally, but the effect was great.
I just want to add a few words about the ending. I found it so sad...Instead of being reunited with Hermione Draco killed his father and continued being in grief. You could say that it was for the greater good, but it's still a cruel destiny. But while thinking about it I realised that this ending is better than a melodramatic final with a meeting in heaven or something like that. So it's well choosen:)
For grammar and stile, I didn't notive anything here, the flow of the story is great. You did a really good job with that!
All in all, I enjoyed this One-shot a lot. It was unorthodox, but very well written. I loved the way you described Draco's feelings, because I think that it is a great thing if the readers can identificate themselves with the person in the story. Congrats for that!
MirielAuthor's Response: Sorry it's taken so long to reply. Thanks so much for the review!
On the Narcissa question, she is still Draco's mother but I like to think that she was 'offered' to Voldy by Lucius. With the tension increase I have to be honest and say that it wasn't exactly pre-meditated but I did go with the flow as it were.
I honestly couldn't have this ending any other way. It's such a dark and angsty piece that it needs a truly awful ending really. I wouldn't want it to suddenly be all fluffy because it would negate and detract from the rest of it.
Thanks so much for the review and I'm really glad you liked it :) Report Review
"A hell of a lot more," he added under his breath - I realise this wasn't a comic piece, but this line cracked me up! Very Draco, which is true of the dialogue in general in this piece.
I also enjoyed the way we were thrust into a very AU world, where bit-by-bit, the reality of the situation was revealed. I think more of this might have been even better - how and why are Draco and Hermione together, why is Draco impervious to Voldemort's spells? This left a lot of unanswered questions, and while that is great, a few answers might round it out a little.
I also like the way you slid in and out of Malfoy's inner thoughts - maybe some additional musings around Hermione would work?
Overall, I liked this piece, despite the swearing (beginning to wonder why I bothered saying no offensive language!). Nice work - always enjoyable to read unique stories, and this is definitely a new idea to me!Author's Response: I actually intended that to be comedic as I felt it needed a little lifting. I'm actually hoping to do a series that accompanies this but it may not be until August I'm afraid. Also, the spells not working was my subtle attempt at the love protection magic. The idea that Lily died to save Harry is shown in the idea of Hermione died to save Draco. I hate swearing in my fics and only use it when absolutely necessary but Voldy was telling me it had to be used then.
Thanks for the great review!!! Report Review
Hello fellow Banana!
O.o So youíre a Dramoine shipper eh? That was quite clever, having Draco as the son of Voldy pants. But Iíve got to say that this was excellently written and I appalude your use of sexy sexy Draco. I canít believer Voldy pants would kill Hermy when she was all prego like!! He should be stoned!!!
The only part that confused me was at the very end, Did Voldy Pants die???
Ban Ya Later!!!
PrincyPadAuthor's Response: Hey Ron!
Yes I do like a bit of Dramione and don't forget that Voldy didn't know that Hermy was pregnant :p Thanks for the review!
Also, yes Voldy did die. Woo! I havent read this in ages but I think that I mentioned that Harry got rid of the Horcruxes.
Anyways, who doesn't like sexy sexy Draco??? Oh yeah Ginny doesn't lol.
Let's Bother Snape later!!!
This is a very powerful one-shot.
Though I saw one mistake or confusion. In the very last sentence, it states 'The Dark Lords Voldemort slumped...'. Isn't that a double positive or did you mean it to be that way? If you meant it to be that way, then you missed the apostrophe in 'Lords'
Good job!Author's Response: Thanks for noticing. It's just a typo from my qwerty keyboard as the s and d keys are next to each other, I must have pressed them both.
Thanks so much for the review :)
Kero Report Review
OMGG! I hate you for writing such a sad story. But I love you 'cause it was so amazing! I loved how you made Draco's father Voldemort... Or Voldmort Draco's father. :) either way, it was amazing! :) xAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! You have to love a bit of Draco/Voldy interaction :p Well, you just have to love Draco in general :) Thank you so much again! Report Review
I like it! You write in a subtle and understated manner, no too verbose, with the story just the right length. You seem to emulate JK Rowling slightly in your writing style, which is definitely not a bad thing; it makes what the characters are feeling seem more real and reads as if it could be something she wrote herself. I'm looking forward to seeing your next story!
RP :PAuthor's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for your kind words. I totally didn't mean to "channel JK's writing style" but thank you so much. *does the happy dance*
RR :p Report Review
Haha you're right, that was twisted but in a good way. That was definitely a different take on the dramione but I liked it! It was very well written and I felt draco's anguish at the end when he realized he wouldn't be joining her. Unless I misunderstood that? Thank you for sharing!!!Author's Response: Thanks! I love reviews :p Yeah it's that but also the fact that he realises that she died to save him. I sort of based that on Lily dying to save Harry love magic thing. Thanks again!!! :) Report Review
An interesting one-shot. Draco's emotions were well done. You presented the fact that Draco could not be hurt, which was interesting. I have never read such a plot before. You have a flare for the dramatic, which works here.
Nicely writtenAuthor's Response: Thank you! I used the idea of the love protection for that. So basically Hermione died to save Draco and that's why none of the curses would work. Thank you again! :) Report Review
wow that was very powerful. i was a very short & intence scene, but i think you did a excellent job showing us the unspoken love between H&D. i want to see more of your writting :)Author's Response: Thanks sooo much!!! Feel free to check out my other fics. I'm currently writing a Rodolphus one-shot so check back for that :) Thanks again!!! Report Review
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