This was pretty powerful, in its desperation and visceral narrative and brevity. I like how you packed so much into one short one-shot, and yet it all made sense and all seemed believable to me. Also, normally I would cringe at the sight of Muggle technology in a fic or the use of non-verbal magic by anyone short of a supremely powerful wizard, but again, the desperation (and brief explanations you provided) seemed to make it all work here.
Nice job! :)
-Amanda Report Review
Wow honestly im speechless! Your a GREAT writer! Ok well first off wonderful banner, it captured me to read it =D, Ive never read a Dominique and Teddy story before, but ive now become a fan of them, because of your story. You wrote every sentence with so much detail and feeling I really felt like I was there, or like if I was Dominique, when Victoire called her I can picture the guilt she felt! Well I give your story a well deserved 10/10 and fav =D Great job, imma go read some of your other stories now xD
Olive Report Review
oh, spicey. u r fantastic at this, pleez rite more, this waz really good! sorry i must sound like a w* their, but it gave me chills!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Wow, I feel terrible for both Victoire and Dom. But that was beautifully written. Great work!
I loved the depth and the emotions of the characters. It seemed very realistic for me. I think it would suck to be in both sister's positions.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Victoire was very much the victim here, I felt quite bad putting her in the situation, haha. Thanks so much! Report Review
Okay, so I was halfway through reading this when my computer decided to die on me, throwing me into a complete panic because I was so desperate to see how it ended! It's the kind of story where you feel you know how it's going to end but really hope it won't be that way (I was, as always, wrong about what I thought would happen, because I thought Dom would stay with Ted, but I was genuinely happy to be wrong this time xD)
I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but I actually hated Teddy. Hated him. So evil. At first it was all fine-ish - them being together when Teddy's with Vic is bad but not completely evil - but then when Victoire called and it was revealed they had a daughter?? BadFather!Teddy. But I'm deciding it's good that I hated him because that can be my new experience for the day xP I sort of feel I should have hated Dominique too, but she was more conflicted and, unlike Ted, we actually got the impression she felt something towards poor Victoire (who I felt SO sorry for after that phone call), and then as well in the end she did THE RIGHT THING!! I was so happy :D
Oh, and the scene-setting in this was FANTASTIC. Truly brilliant, especially at the beginning. I also loved your Dominique, and the contrast between her and Vic: A splitting image of her sister - but where her sister's beauty gave her poise and grace, Dominique used her allure like a whip, giving her all the ammo she needed to get what she wanted for all the wrong reasons.
Just brilliant. I loved it :)Author's Response: Lizzie, I adore you. Thank you so much. I really don't know what to say other than that :( But really, your words mean the world, thank you ♥ Report Review
Queen of Dominique, let me bow down at your feet
How. Do. You. Do. It?
Each time you write her, she's brilliantly different and yet so clearly defined. Am in awe and would continue bowing only it's really difficult to bow and type.
I...feel like I should hate her but can't quite bring myself to do it. This line is brilliance:
Dominique used her allure like a whip
I think that sums her up brilliantly and is a wonderful simile, for the record.
Teddy. YAY - I HATE HIM. Actually do. To start with, I was fine with it but he has a WIFE AND CHILD. Urgh, git doesn't cover it, really. Put the word of your choice in there and it's probably not quite strong enough.
Also, how do you manage to write in such a HUGE range of ways. Am also jealous of that: how you can go from the sophisticated, elegant setting of Ichor to this grimy, secretive, sexy (as if I remember correctly from when I looked at the start, that was what you wanted) place.
So, the ending quite surprised me actually, and salvaged Dominique. She could have been such a complete cow about it, continued with Teddy blah blah blah, which is what I, admittedly, expected. I love how you made her somewhat compassionate and gave her that guilt which completely saves her from being one of those characters that you just want to hate (as difficult as it IS to hate Dominique).
Anyway, that was sheer brilliance, my love
xxAuthor's Response: YOU ARE TOO LOVELY. SHUDDUP.
Thank you so much, lovely. I am so glad you liked her, Dominique is my baby, I love her muchly.
I really don't know what to say, Rachel, thank you so much ♥ Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection