I hope that future chapters will be a lot longer
Please update soon
Cant wait to read more as a historical fiction fan myself,
Alayna M MillerAuthor's Response: Thank you! Future chapters will be about 1000-2000 words, this was just a prologue. Report Review
Georgia, I've wanted to read this for a while, I am a huge fan of the Victorian era in general and think it is inspired - as well as brave, to write this. The title is very intriguing, and I can't wait to read more, learn about the young man, and how magic and history will play a role in your story!!
Length - perfect, the quote at the opening is very evocative as well, and the ending tantalising. A couple of things I would only pick up with my nitpicking face on:
"Jewels glittered in the bright candlelight that lit the cavernous Atrium of the Ministry of Magic " I think it would be smoother if you said 'the candelight lighting' as well as give a sense of the present, but merely a suggestion :)
Could maybe describe the jewels more, although that could be overdoing it, would however would recommend reworking " and gone was the fountain in the centre, replaced by a raised podium to be viewed from all sides. ", I was confused about that fountain, unless that it intentional?? Also you - and I only even noticed because I do it ALL the time - used 'sparkling' twice, maybe switch one to another adjective?
Now this review is sounding horridly negative, which I don't want it to - it's a LOVELY idea, a departure from your norm and highly original. I will be keeping an eye on it, and I DEMAND you rerequest when you have more!
xx Jo Report Review
Georgia! Oh my god! Your beautiful writing is blinding me! How did you ever get so good?
Seriously, though. I don't know what to say. You are such a diverse writer and I've never seen an error in your writing. It's simply marvelous! I feel silly posting a review without anything more meaningful to say, and since this is such a short review...
Anyways, I am absolutely in love with this story. I'm adding it to my favorites, just because it's so fabulous. I really like it when it's set in this era- I'm addicted to history. I'll definitely be following it.
I also love your use of detail. Even though it's only 600 something words, you managed to pull it off without boring the audience. It's also very prologue-ish.
My favourite line is, "long live the queen". I look forward to see what's going to happen in the next chapter, and if she'll be worthy of such praise =]]
Sorry if I rambled too much. It's one in the morning here 0.o Report Review
Hey Georgia, I'm so sorry for taking so long to get to reviewing, just been busy but things are starting to slow down at the moment. Anyway, I liked this beginning, it was definitely intriguing to say the least and I'm looking forward to reading more once you update. Also, excellent descriptive writing, I was able to picture it all clearly in my mind's eye and that's what I love most while reading. Great job so far! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much, Leslie! Much appreciated, you taking the time :) Report Review
Okay, am watching this film TODAY. Decision made.
I loved this the first time and more the second. It's just so elegant and the flow is absolutely amazing. It even looks sophisticated just to stare at the page without taking a word in. I must repeat: how you manage to write...completely perfectly across such a range of styles is beyond me.
The physical writing seems very light. Everything is very soft and gentle and mellow but there's something that actually created a darkness to it. I'm not sure whether it was intentional or not (I'm assuming it was) but this part:
the young woman stiffened in her seat as if she had been shocked, eyes wide in astonishment and her mouth open in a silent gasp; her hands gripped the chair's arms tightly as the crown's great power washed over her
And now I've looked at it again and am getting a sense that she's not 100% ready for it...oh I don't know. I'm tired :P
Anyway, I'll stop my mindless rambling and just say that it is completely divine. Amazing. Fantastic. Any positive adjective you like will fit.
xxAuthor's Response: YES, WATCH. IT'S BRILL.
Thank you, my dear. That is what Iw as going for, the light style. I kind of wanted it to sparkle ^_^ And no, she's definitely not ready but we'll get to that!
Thanks so much! Report Review
I love it already! Your descriptions were perfect; I felt myself really being pulled into this captivating little prologue! This story seems extremely different than your other stories, and I applaud you for that! I believe you really do have the capability to write any genre that pleases you. :)
I loved the descriptions and how every word fit and flowed beautifly. I'm really interested to see where you take this story, because from this standpoint it could go anywhere. :)Everything was just perfect, what more could I possibly say?Author's Response: Thank you so much! I did enjoy describing this scene - the era is so pretty, it's just a delight to write :) And yes! Different, is it not?! I'm not used to it, but I'm looking forward to discovering my limits :)
Thank you so much! This story is a bit take-on for me and I'm excited to get started :D Thanks again. Report Review
Georgia, number one: CONGRATULATIONS!!! PARTY! Ok i have been anxiously waiting for you to update something so I knew you had finished up at school! Please come on TDA! I desperately need a chat! you're such a lovely person and I'm so glad that you are finally writing again! this first chapter may be short but it is amazing!!! Truly you're such a big inspiration. If i could write as well as you, well, I'd be going places. I've missed reading your fabulous work, and hopefully now you will be able to write more! Congratulations again and good luck for everything in the future!
Ceren xxAuthor's Response: I will come on TDA ASAP :) And I'm glad you liked this piece, thanks so much for reading! Report Review
Hey, Georgia =] Excited to be reading your writing again! And I really, really, really want to see that movie!!! But I haven't yet... So sorry, off topic! Ahem.
Anyways, so I really enjoyed this piece, despite its shortness. I think that if you can accomplish your purpose in fewer words, than by all means, write fewer words, right? But I particularly liked this because of the description. You had me hanging on every word just because each one fit so perfectly into the whole picture of the scene. Fabulous!
Feel free to request another review anytime, you know I love reading your work =]
~CBGAuthor's Response: Alex! Thanks so much for reading this for me :) And I totally recommend the movie, it's so fabulous :D
Thanks! The next chapter will hopefully be longer, with less of a focus on description :) This was more to give readers a taste of the era which it is set in - decadence, power struggles and all that - rather than actually be of use to the plot :P
Thanks again, darling! Report Review
Another Georgia masterpiece in progress! What a wonderful prologue! It's short but pulls you right in. You did such a great job setting the stage and describing the scene - I could visualize everything perfectly.
(Caught a small wording issue -- when you write "She nodded almost impeccably," did you mean to write "imperceptibly"? That seems to fit a little more.) :-)
I love prologues like this, which give you a glimpse of what's coming but don't really give away anything important to the story. And I really like how you managed to weave magic into it, through the crown and the effect it has when it's placed on Capella's head.
So captivating! I love it already!
MelanieAuthor's Response: Melanie! Thank you so much for the review, my love, and for reading this! It's my current pet project so I squee (loudly) everytime I see a review - because it's OC/AU driven, the reads aren't what they usually are :P
I'm glad you liked the description - as you well know, it's the area I like to moan about the most, haha. And thank you so much for picking that up - I do remember seeing that word (after fixing it on spell check) and staring at it for a while before deciding I was obviously wrong and spell check was superior. Apparently not.
And the magic! Thanks for commenting on that - I really tried to write in the magic kind of subtly, something I don't usually focus on. But thank you :D
Melanie, you are much too kind. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and review, it's much appreciated!
xx Report Review
Amazing descriptions. One word: riveting. It really does set a tone for what the story is going to bring: intrigue, politics, belonging to something larger than life and a great destiny unraveling before her very eyes.
Great job hun! I can't wait for more!Author's Response: I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR PRAISE, RITA.
But thank you so much! Seriously, I look up to you as a writer and to see this review made me squee a little. Thank you so much, I will try my best not to disappoint. Thank you, thank you, thank you :D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection