This is one of the best storys going you get the passion and anger written so well exactly how I would picture Sirius absolutely brill Report Review
So happily, I've stumbled across this little gem :) Normally I steer clear of song fics but I'm glad I didn't this time :) I really loved this for scarily personal reasons, you haven't by any chance been spying on my boyfriend and I? I swear this is the exact same as us. The rip-roaring fights and then getting back together half an hour later... Our friends take bets on how long we'll be together. I like to think we do love eachother though :P I really liked the passion you got through in what appears to be a simple piece of text. It's rare that you come across an author on this site that can write like that. It's usually endless reams of useless information that just bore the reader but this? This was brilliant. 10/10 Report Review
That was really good, its amazing what really talented writers can do, your really good. Report Review
OMG this is probably going to be just like my last review, I'm meant to be cleaning but that didn't happen. Head is still spinning from a liquid dinner last night. but this is so good, if it was a chocolate bar it would be Turkish-delight or something, very sickly but pleasing in some unknown way.Author's Response: Cleaning? Me too. Amongst other stuff. Oh dear, hangover? Hate 'em. Stupid alcohol. Haha! =D
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This review is long over due. I mean, seriously long over due. And I hope you won't hold my tardiness against me ;) In your request you told me that something bugged you about this piece but you couldn't figure out what. I'm writing this before reading, so I can let you know that I'll be looking for whatever is 'off' and hopefully my critique -- and review -- is still applicable :)
Okay, so first thing is, I had to ignore the long lyrics to get to the story. I've never liked song-fic's, so I hope you won't find my exclusion of them insulting, hehe.
Here's what I see: this lacks depth. It does. You might think you can't get depth with a little over 800 words, but you can. And I think this story can as well. This last bit (
“I love you,” I whispered against his lips.
“Don’t,” he replied, unbuttoning his shirt. I pushed it off his shoulders, feeling his muscles contract as my ice cold fingertips passed over them, smoothing his soft skin down.) was brilliant and felt like the whole heart of the story.
This isn't about a round-peg loving a square-hole. This is about two people -- Sirius and your nameless OC -- playing at love. They want to be in love, they want it enough to come back to each other after having ripped each other to shreds. But neither one of them have the energy to lie any more, and that's the only thing that will keep this relationship going, a joined agreement to pretend. You need to explore what happens when they stop pretending, when the want of love isn't enough. This story actually begins where you end it, and that's the problem.
I hope you find this helpful. I love Sirius, he's my true HP bad boy and so to see him done well in writing thrills me. This piece could be brilliant, you just haven't written it where it needs to go yet.
BBAuthor's Response: Thank you -- and I forgive you! I'll try to make ammends as quickly as it's possible =)
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That was really good. One of the better songfics I read.Author's Response: One of the better? Do elaborate. I'd like to know what I'm being compared to...
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