Reading Reviews for A Witch Awakens
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Wishes Heading to Hogwarts

24th January 2011:
Great story. I think you conveyed Hermione's personality well.

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Review #2, by ekroman The Wand Chooses the Witch

13th June 2010:
I loved the way Ollivander asked Hermione those questions so he would know which wand she would do best with:)

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Review #3, by saffy Practice, Practice, Practice

11th April 2010:
Well goodness gracious im away six weeks and you've posted the whole story!

I liekd this chapter it complied with canon completly while being fairly humorous :) That poor cat ! Nice job explaining how she could fix harry's glasses.

Maybe you could have made more of her trying tokeep her temper ?

Good job with the dialouge its alot more animated and interesting to read as you give a better impression of how things are being said eg "susie squeeled" "he said approvingly"

Thanks !

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Review #4, by saffy The Wand Chooses the Witch

13th February 2010:
I loved the opening paragraph to this, it was adorable picturing Hermione trying to complete all these spells with various sticks :)

your decription of Ollivander was really good, nice and descriptive whilst remaing close to the canon, in fact the whole chapter was much more of a story than a comentary which some the other chapters have leaned towards slightly.

I really enjoyed this and cant wait to read the next chapter however i wont be able to that for at least six and a half weeks as i am giving up the internet for lent (apart for studying) so see you after that :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the Ollivander part. Given the huge number of wand boxes in the Sorcerer's Stone movie and the fact that the wands couldn't jump out of their boxes, it seemed only reasonable that Ollivander would have to have some reason for showing particular wands to his customer. Ollivander was already familiar with Harry's story, but Hermione was a complete unknown to him.

I hope that your Lenten sacrifice of the Internet will be meaningful to you. I will be especially interested in your reaction to a later chapter, "Holiday Magic".


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Review #5, by saffy Who Is Harry Potter?

6th February 2010:
Hi again :)

i loved this "she certainly did not want to be the only one at Hogwarts who didn't know his story" oh the irony :P

Its so sweet that hermione wants to be friends with harry :):):) that last line cracked me up "and not full of himself like that awful Jason!"


a nice wee chapter :)

Author's Response: Jason is the Malfoy character in Hermione's non-magical world. I took his name from Jason Isaacs, and Jason's friends' names are also variations of Malfoy's friends' and teammates' names.

One of the most memorable lines from the Sorcerer's Stone movie was when Ron said to Harry, "She knows more about you than you do!"


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Review #6, by saffy Bookworm Heaven

6th February 2010:
Hi :)

sorry for not reviewing sooner i shall not waste your time with pathetic excuses.

Yep Hermione would have loved florish and blots :):) I think your right to make her parents so cautious after all hermione is there only child and she has abright future ahead of her. I thought it was cute how eager she was to learn more about the magic world.

I really love the essential idea for the plot but sometimes i feel your lacking in your story telling technique, maybe a little more description about how charcters look, the way they say things, react to one another would make the stroy a little more engaging.

For example all i know about Mr Thicklens (love the name btw) is that he has thick glasses. But is he old or young? short or fat? tall or short? Does he speak kindly to the grangers? is he bored? impatient? happy to help?

I realise the irony, im giving you english advice and im dsylexic lol.

Thanks :) Im away to read the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Hi, saffy. I'm glad to see you're continuing to read my story. Thanks for your suggestion that I provide more description of my characters and their interactions. I'll try to do better in the future.

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Review #7, by saffy A Visit to the Doctor

20th January 2010:
hi!

Well i didnt expect Dr. Fredeicks to be a squib but its fits in perfectly :) I love how Hermiones parents are worried not so much about the whole witch thing but whether or not she can achive her academic potential it seems such a Hermione-esk thing to worry about. Its great putting in these details i feel your showing where Hermione gets so many of her charcter traits.

thanks for a good read :) (sorry this review took so long)

Author's Response: Right: all along Alfred and Harriet are worried about what going to Hogwarts would cost Hermione, in terms of both her career opportunities and her safety. Against those concerns we see their desire for her to develop all her gifts and to learn to control her magic. Once they see magic with their own eyes and have its existence confirmed by the trusted Dr. Fredericks, the reality of the magical world becomes less of an issue. I really needed Dr. Fredericks to be a bridge between the two worlds, so he pretty much had to be a Squib.

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Review #8, by saffy The British Museum

15th January 2010:
Hi there :)

I love your charcatersiation of dumbledore his dialougue is just perfect. I think your right to have Hermione so curious not only is it right for the charcter, but it also goes some way to explain why she was so knowledgable about hogwarts given she was a muggle.

Your explaination of why when in HP we see memories not from someones perspective but form a by stabders point of view was superb !!

great chapter, poor Hermione and her teeth :) lol

Author's Response: Thanks for your comments, saffy. I'm glad you like what you've read so far. I'm looking forward to your comments on the remaining chapters. (The story has 18 chapters in all.)

Thanks also for mentioning the Meet the Author page. I've created one and linked it to my account. See topic 59774 at fictioncentral dot net's hpforum.


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Review #9, by saffy An Unexpected Visitor

7th January 2010:
Hi there ! :)
So sorry for not being able to message you back, i can only leave one review per chapter, i tried to sign in as a guest but i couldnt leave a review on this story without siging in. I tried to contact you but you dont seem to have a "meet the author" page. All the same my apologies.

Sorry if this is too late, but: Primary is the first school after nursery (sort of like kindergarten) the year starts on September 1st (or 2nd or 3rd depending on the weekdays). This first year is called Recption and is open to children who are four years old by or before the 1st of September.

Then it goes :
Year one - 5/6
Year two - 6/7
Year three - 7/8
Year four - 8/9
Year five - 9/10
Year six - 10/11 (last year of primary school).

There are some school are middle schools whch go from year 5 to 8 but these are few and far between. Most are private and on the same campuses as an infant and upper school. However there are exceptions.

There are also different systems in Scotland, Wales and Ireland incase you were wondering. Hope this answers your question :)

Now the real review :P
Your description of hermiones perception of dumbledore was perfect a thin santa i think you said (but much more eloquently). I always thought it would be interesting to see what a muggle's reaction and thier family would be to recieving "the letter" (harry doesnt count because Petunia knew) So i really apriciated this chapter :)

I really liked the dialougue between Dumbledore and the Grangers (you kept to canon very well) but would have liked a little more description of her parents reaction and how they were saying these things.

I really enjoyed this chapter and cant wait for the next one ! :) Thanks !

Author's Response: Thanks, saffy, for the information about English schools. I hope that having Hermione in a junior school makes sense to you.

I'll re-read the second chapter with your comment in mind. It's a challenge to describe scenes as vividly as JKR, but that's a standard worth aiming for. I've made another pass through the chapter since uploading it. Fortunately, replacing a chapter does not interfere with uploading a new chapter. I've got a new version of the first chapter, as well as the new fourth chapter, awaiting validation.


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Review #10, by saffy The Dentists' Daughter

23rd December 2009:
Hi there :)

I love your title btw I'm a sucker for alliteration !

I really like the concept of this story its really interesting and i would love to read more. I always think that what happened to Hermione before she got her letter would be really intersting considering her muggle background, this seems the perfect story to stumble across to fill that viod:)

You have a really nice writting style and it was lovely to see Hermione's parents and see where she got some of her personality traits. This may not make sense but i had never really tried to imagine Hermione's dad but your descrition really seemd to slot into place, in my head. (i promise there is a complment in there somewhere, i dont think im being very coherent)

Please dont be upset but i felt one or two things didnt seem to fit. (There absolutely tiny really and feel free to ignore me) There arent really any middle schools in the uk and in primary school (unless it is a private school) they have the one teacher for all classes. The other thing is that you can buy maple syrup from Vermont in Tescos.

I really liked the way you described Hermione clever comebacks and a temper as well as being inquistive, i was surprised to see she had so many friends but i think your right in doing that after all she always means well even if she was a bossy know-it-all in her youth :P

Cant wait to read more, thanks for a good read
saffy.

P.s sorry if this is hard to read or understand I'm dsylexic if you dont want be to review again feel free to tell me so some people find it annoying :)

Author's Response: Thanks, saffy, for reviewing my first chapter and for your helpful comments. I'm delighted that you liked it so much. Living in New Jersey, I am ignorant of how British schools are organized and of what products U.K. retailers import from the U.S. I've already deleted "imported from the U.S." from my original version and am trying to think of a name for Hermione's school that seems to indicate it's private. BTW at her age would she be in the 5th or 6th year of school?

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