Oh, this was so heartbreaking! :( I love Neville one thousand times over and this was so painful to see him and Hannah so upset. But at the same time, you've shown their relationship to be so strong, so lovely and determined. Not being able to have a child is so inexplicably difficult to cope with, and I really understood that from this piece. Yet, it was comforting to see them trying to deal with this together. I imagine Neville to be the perfect husband and hopefully eventually the perfect father, and you've shown many of his canon, appreciated traits here; his unconditional love, his understanding...it made this strangely beautiful, so that we can see the strength and pain ordinary couples like Neville and Hannah have.
Your writing style, as ever, as always, is astoundingly beautiful. The pathetic fallacy worked ever so well in this piece. It made me think that maybe a higher force was at work, and that ultimately this childless couple cannot defy natures decision not to grant them with a baby. I could really feel the power of the rain in this, too, like the heartbeat to this one-shot. It would be interesting to see a follow on piece, I think mainly because I love them both so much!, but standing alone it is still so striking and effective.
Theres much happy lovely fluff about Neville and Hannah, and so in a way something like this is really welcomed. It makes me see them in a more human way, rather than fictional characters, and for that I think you have done a really amazing job here. Thank you :) this was beautiful.
Laura xxxAuthor's Response: I don't even know how to respond to this without making myself a completely unrecognizable melted mess. BUT I will give it my best try, because this review is just... gah. It blows me away. You are so, so kind. I cannot begin to thank you enough.
I think I've said this before, but, in my mind, compliments on writing and style are the absolute best a writer can get. At least, they are to me. So thank you so much for commenting on that. It's something that almost every writer works to improve as they continue to write, and... gah. Just... thank you.
There's a lot of happy fluff, to be sure, but the challenge here was to write with just one line of dialogue. While it's possible to write fluff with just one line of dialogue, I think it's probably harder to do, so I stuck with the angst. Besides, angst is what I do best. :P
Thank you, again, for the marvelous review. Your kindness and generosity never ceases to amaze me.
xx Rin Report Review
Such a powerful, powerful piece of writing. I could see it in my mind as I read this story.
I could feel the emotion, the sadness being felt from the characters.
I could feel the love coming off of them, the sadness, the longing, the desperation.
I could feel the rain falling on top of me. The thunder, exploding into my ears.
It was an amazing one shot.
Really nice. Good job.
HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Your comments mean a lot to me. Your feedback is much appreciated, and I love to see what people think and how they're reading it.
Again, thank you for the review!
xx Rin Report Review
This was so sad! The imagery in the beginning of Hannah and the storm was absolutely beautiful. Your description is truly amazing. I was immediately pulled into the story and wanted to know what Hannah was waiting for by the window and then why she was so anxious to see Neville.
The fact that she'd lost a pregnancy didn't even cross my mind, so it was shockingly sad when that was revealed. And that's a good thing. It made it even more sad and meaningful. I especially liked how you brought up the baby supplies and what they would do with them.
I'm so amazed that you can write such wonderful stories with so much plot, detail, and characterization in such a small amount of words. Wonderful story! :)Author's Response: Thank you!
There are a lot of pregnancy/miscarriage stories out there, and so I tried to tread carefully and make it as unique as possible. Thank you so much for your feedback, as it's eased some of my concerns with posting a story like this on the archives. :)
Again, thanks for your feedback. All of it is very much appreciated. I hope you have a marvelous (whoever you are) rest of your day! Report Review
I think that you tackled such a difficult topic really wonderfully and the characters that you worked with were really great. Hannah/Neville is a really great pairing, so I'm glad that this focused on them. Your words themselves flowed beautifully, almost as though it was a poem, and the descriptions were amazing. I think that you managed to capture heartbreak but also hope, and you showed how something that is supposed to bring happiness can also bring pain. Wonderful job.Author's Response: Oh, sorry for taking so long to respond to this! :)
I'm... absolutely flattered. I mean, I could sit here and gape at the computer screen for a little while longer and just gush and gush about how wonderful that review makes me feel, but I fear that that would be a waste of time and space. I just... thank you, sincerely, because it really means a lot to me. Every word of that means something. So again, thank you.
I appreciate it more than you know.
xx Report Review
This was gorgeous! I really enjoyed it! Great job! It's all i can say!Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I really, really appreciate such a lovely review! Report Review
Rin, oh my gosh, I had goosebumps reading this. Stunning work, my dear. You've written a heartbreaking event with such elegance -- and it was only fitting to have no dialogue in this because in times as painful as this, I don't think anything can be said.
I'm still in awe at how well you've conveyed the emotions. I've never been through what Neville and Hannah have been through, but reading this was so heart wrenching and emotional and... gosh. Wow. I really don't know how else to say how much this moved me. Brilliant work, lovely!Author's Response: Aw, this was so out of the blue! And it completely made my day. Thank you!
I've never been through anything like what they have either. So really, I'm very glad that you still found it real enough to believe. It was sometimes hard to write because I could only imagine, never know.
Thank you so much! I can't tell you how much your reviews mean to me. Report Review
Wow. Very sad story, but very well written. I also wrote about the loss of a child with a rare-pair (Percy/Penelope), but mine was a bit different. I really like your version here--touching the way Neville wants to be there for her and still keep trying.
Great job with such a sensitive topic!
--Kate/RPAuthor's Response: I love rare-pairs, and I also loved this review! Thank you so much! I mean... wow. I really appreciate the review, especially because it was so unexpected and delightful! Report Review
Here for your second review, lovely! I've read this a few times now, but I've never had the time to sit down and review before, so it's nice to get that opportunity.
This is possibly one of my favourite one shots of yours. Maybe even one of my favourites ever. Everything, from the note perfect description to unique handling of such a heartbreaking event screams out your talent.
Firstly, the description is wonderful. Absolutely gorgeous. For instance, the imagery of lightning punching across the sky was spectacular. You struck completely the right amount of description too.
The characterisation was gorgeous the relationship between Hannah and Neville beautifully woven. The way they had each other for support was just beautiful.
You handled a sensitive topic in such a delicate and beautiful way- I am completely in awe of you.
You are a writing godess, and this story is incredible.Author's Response: You'll just have to excuse me while I wipe my JAW off the KEYBOARD.
Becca, thank you so much. I'm so very... touched by this lovely review of yours. I don't really know how to respond to something this wonderful...
Thank you from the bottom corners of my heart, my dear. I appreciate it so much, and you've completely made my month with this little piece of heaven on my story.
You are amazing.
Rin Report Review
I love the idea.
I had a similar one myself and have just sent it off to my beta for some fine tuning (the not-so-finely-tuned version is on fanfiction). It's a part of my "And What If...?" series.
I heard about this on Story Seekers and thought I should check it out - I'm very glad I did.
xxAuthor's Response: Goodness, thank you so much! Especially for mentioning the Story Seekers, because I had no idea it was ever mentioned! Gah. You've made my day. :) Thank you so much. Report Review
Hello Rin, I'm here to review for the challenge! I am so sorry for the extended delay, I've been swamped with things of the real life variety.
-says in Southern accent- "That was a beautiful thang, if I ever saw one, dahhhling." Yes, I just brought out the Southern accent. Your description in this piece is to die for, I ADORED it. The stream of consciousness is so...perfect. It's so random and beautiful and great and grand and wondrous. I'm going to run out of adjectives if you keep up such splendid works such as this. To write a one-shot in one go is hard enough, but to pull it off with such clarity is true talent.
I absolutely love what you have presented here. I cannot tell you how much it warmed my heart as much as it broke my heart. Beautiful. 10/10Author's Response: TWINSY! Omigoodnessgracious I haven't seen you forEVER. I'm so glad you popped in to review. It really made my day. :)
My my, that Southern accent certainly brightened the review, didn't it? Goodness, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me. Yes, the stream of consciousness was something really, really hard to work with. It was unbearable, not being able to edit. But, I think I pulled it off with minimal grammar mistakes. :D
Thank you so much, m'dear. ILY!
- Rin Report Review
This was such an amazingly written story! I have never read a story in which Neville was featured; but he's such a romantic character in itself, that nobody realizes it.
Wonderful :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really like Neville as well. :) Thank you for the review! I appreciate your feedback. Report Review
Rin, you need to stop being so amazing at everything you write, you hear me? Haha, no. Don't stop. Keep going! Everything of yours that I read just gets better and better with each and every solitary word that you write. You're descriptions are phenomenal and when you write what a person is thinking you seem to manage to do it just perfectly. I love it.
But what I am wondering is what is it that Neville is apologizing to Hannah for? If not apologizing, what is he comforting her for? I guess one will never know. It's an air of mystery that will probably never be solved.
I guess by now you're kinda wondering what is with my crazy review frantic I have going on here? Well, if you haven't looked at tgs yet today, I am your secret Santa! Yes, me! I hope you are pleased with your reviews that you have received for these five one-shots of yours. They truly are wonderful, darling. I shall have my one-shot up for you hopefully within the new year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS dear and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
AliciaAuthor's Response: GAH, Alicia, you are fantastically amazing. No, really, amazing. You've totally made my morning, and my week, and my month, and my year... Gah. Amazing.
Thanks so much for all the effort you've put into all your reviews today! It all means so much to me. I really, really appreciate it.
Oh, and Neville? We'll, she's just lost a baby, so... He needed to say SOMETHING, didn't he? :) But maybe "sorry" isn't the best choice of words. I'll go back to that then...
Thanks so much Alicia! I love you. Report Review
All I can say is...WOW. -mouthdrop- I've never read anything like it! Filled with emotion, love, and caring. You are amazing. Applaud! Kudos for a really great one-shot. :D 10/10!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It warms my heart to hear feedback like this. :) Thanks again for the lovely review! I appreciate it. Report Review
Oh my goodness. That is possibly one of the most beautiful one-shots I have ever read. I'm stunned, Rin. Absolutely blown away. It was word perfect, but it was so much more than that. It was raw, it was honest and so desperately sad that I found myself crying before it had even finished. The description, the imagery... I'm at a loss for words because I could picture everything like it was real, like they were right in front of me and it was my window pane the rain was disturbing, that the thunder was filling my ears. You are a magnificent artist and your words are enchanting.
Thank you for writing this, Rin.
- MarinaAuthor's Response: Marina, what am I going to do with you? :P Bah. You leave me such lovely reviews, and then I have absolutely no idea how to respond because you've blown me away.
I guess the first thing to say is THANK YOU. Your encouragement means the world to me. You're like the magic review fairy, and when I happen to be feeling down or something an absolutely wonderful review from you pops up and I instantly feel better. Your support is just astounding, so thank you so, SO much for your feedback.
Much love for Marina and her magical reviews,
Rin Report Review
Neville/Hannah is ridiculously underwritten. Seriously. They're almost impossible to find and I think this is a wonderful take on their relationship and how they comfort and support each other throughout their trauma.
You dealt with the issue in hand sensitively and considerately. It is so brilliantly done - really. It made me tear up a little, actually, because I hadn't really expected something like that.
as if summoned by the sound that seems to signal the shattering of the sky itself
That is the line that I found the most effective here. Your description and prose are both stunning but that line is the one that stuck out. The alliteration is just to die for. It's really wonderful.
I wish I had an ounce of your talent, lovely. I really, really do.
xxAuthor's Response: Oh my goodness. You have made my morning. And day. And week. And MONTH. Gah.
I had actually started writing it as Astoria/Draco, but then the man (now Neville) just showed too much affection and. kindness for me as an author to actually believe it was Draco. Hannah/Neville lept to mind almost instantly, and I'm really glad you liked that pairing in this particular story. :)
Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. I'm in awe of your lovely review. Like I said, it's made my week (MONTH).
- Rin Report Review
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