That was really great! I noticed that you added in some new stuff which was fantasic, and that you took my advice, which was also fantastic (you taking my advice, not the actual advice). Well, I suppose that is all... Great chapter! :DAuthor's Response: THANKS!!! I'm glad you liked the new stuff which I actually forgot about... and thanks for above mentioned advice it helped... A LOT. I think my next chapter will need some more of it seeing as it now consists of 63 words... that is one confused sentence. Report Review
Hi again! I am really liking this story alot. I absolutely love how Scorpius is always picturing the girl on the platform. (Lily, right?) I am dying to know who she was staring at so lovingly at the King's Cross station. I also love how Scorpius is constantly thinking of Rose. And I really like this Maya character. There were a few grammar/spelling errors. But hey, it happens. :) Really Good job! I can't wait 'till the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks Cri! it might be Lily... it might not o.O
Sneaky! Hahahahaha! You'll have to read on to se! Oh and I sent you the next Chapter too so you should totally read it and you know check it out!!! Report Review
I liked this chapter, and I love the plot. The only thing that I would suggest that you should work on, is that you have a couple grammar and spelling errors, and things can get a bit confusing. I suggest you try to read over your chapters or have someone you know read over your chapters (it's always nice to have fresh eyes look at your work) before you submit them, just to catch any problems. Other than that, I have really grown to love this story! Great job!! :D 10/10Author's Response: Lol thanks XD I sent you the last chapter so please please please read it over!!! I will cherish your friendship forever if you do =p hahahaha Report Review
Hi again :)
I like Maya. *SIGH* Jeez, it's kinda stalker-ish but cute that he stares at her in class. And for them girls he past in the hallway. Look into my eyes and scream like never before o.o...
eh, another good descriptive chapter. :)
"Rose danced through his thoughts as he tried to sleep."
:) That's cute.
Keep up the GREAT work. :)
Oh yeah and adding to favourites !Author's Response: Omg thank you so much! I really appreciate knowing your thoughts XD Report Review
Your description for my mind ( xD ) is really good. Off to the next chapter but first; This seems like an excellent start. I hope to see more after the second chapter but, please, do not rush! But really her "friends" are horrible.
All she said was her father didn't go to school then the other were probably thinking, wow her father is stupid or something. o.0... Yeh, the saviour of the wizarding world. Pfft, then got all offended when she talked about her father.
I like the part, where she and Scorpius "meet" in the hall.
SarahAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing XD I wanted her to be relatively alone excpet like one person (Maya) Report Review
why do i have to be the mean one?!?! and why did i say something stupid? u know that doesn't always happen. anyway thet was REALLY GOOD!! i loved it. every time you mentioned scorpios with rose i felt chills!!!
:)Author's Response: its funny i didnt realize who you were until i read you username. thanks colleen Report Review
I really like this! The description is wonderful and although there were a couple spelling/grammar mistakes, they were easily overlooked. I am curious to see how this Maya character fits into this story... :)Author's Response: lol i figured she had to have at least one friend Report Review
Really good so far! It was very well written, and I love how you added all the little details to help me picture the setting (such as the sunlight tickling Rose's face). I can't wait to see where this is going in the next chapter! :)Author's Response: thanks! I changed a lot of what happens later
(after i accidently deleted it) Report Review
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