11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MoonshoesMandiieh The guy has a crush

5th March 2010:
Yay! Nice chapters :) Prof. Green reminds me of someone... with his scary screaming:P

Author's Response: Haha:) Thanks for the review!

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Review #2, by tina The guy has a crush

22nd February 2010:
this dave sounds nice for lily

Author's Response: I know^^ Thanks for reading and reviewing:)

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Review #3, by amy Welcome Dinner

22nd February 2010:
i really like your story i like your lily

Author's Response: Thank you very much:)

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Review #4, by hushpuppy The guy has a crush

21st February 2010:
This story leaves me a little confused because it seems like we, the readers, were thrust into the middle of a situation that doesn't make sense to us. So far there isn't much of a plot, so I would assume that this is a character driven piece; however, we don't know much about Lily or her friends. In fact, we don't know much about anything. The first thing I wondered in the begining chapter was what Lily had done to make her family believe that the rumors could possibly be true. Did she hang out with a lot of guys? Does she party a lot and lie to her parents? Usually those types of rumors don't gain momentum unless there is a reason/excuse for people to believe they might actually be true. I'm not saying that Lily is at fault but it would help the reader understand how she got to this situation. I want to know WHY people believe the rumors and how she got this place. It seems that you left out the most interesting part of the story and we're left with Lily acting like a victim. Why doesn't she just ask Drew if his dad, whom I assume is Oliver Wood, has any extra brooms that are better than the school brooms? Why doesn't she take some proactive steps to improve her situation? For example, if she is still a virgin and the rumors false, why not tell her parents that she's willing to take Veritaserum or have her doctor verify that she is a virgin. Yes, it is embarrassing and horrible that her parents believe the rumors but if she really wants that broom back, then she should do everything possible to get it and prove to her parents that the rumors are lies and they were wrong to suspect her. It's kinda difficult to believe that Ginny would believe the rumors or that her brothers would feel good about telling their parents about the rumors. No one wants to talk to their parents about sex, much less about their siblings and sex.

Right now Lily doesn't have a personality and it's a bit unbelievable that everyone believes the rumors when a Slytherin spread them. If you give us a bit more back-story in order to make Lily a worthy protagonist, then the story will not be so bewildering. Or, if you have plans for all of these things, maybe give the readers longer chapters so that the reader isn't constantly left reading chapters where nothing really happens.

This can become a good story, it just needs some attention.

Author's Response: Well, the thing is that I had another plot for this story before. But it wasn't allowed, so I had to change it and it got a bit confused.

I'm happy you took your time to review and I will definitely keep this in mind. I'll try to sort things out;) Thank you


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Review #5, by MoonshoesMandiieh The Hogwarts Express

18th January 2010:
This was a great fic (: Really good

Author's Response: Thank you;)

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Review #6, by amy The Hogwarts Express

11th January 2010:
looking forward to the next chapter

Author's Response: Thank you:) I'm working on it!

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Review #7, by ItsUnconditional The Hogwarts Express

11th January 2010:
Lovely chapter! I look forward to reading more. Also, just to clarify, did the sky go dark for a reason or just because it was late?
Dee, x

Author's Response: Just because it was late;) Thank you for reviewing! It really boosts me to keep writing:)

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Review #8, by leah Arguing

10th January 2010:
like what i have read so far looking forward to next one

Author's Response: Thank you:) Next chapter is on it's way!

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Review #9, by leah Arguing

10th January 2010:
like what i have read so far looking forward to next one

Author's Response: I think you posted the review twice;)

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Review #10, by ItsUnconditional Arguing

10th January 2010:
Hm, I like this story so far. I think that it's going to end up getting pretty good, tbh. Looking forward to the next chapter:)
Dee, x

Author's Response: Thank you:)

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Review #11, by emma Arguing

8th January 2010:
just found your story looking forward to the next chapter hope you do a next one

Author's Response: Yeah, it's waiting to be validated:) Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like it xx

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