Harry drifted back off to sleep, now resting better than he had before, a huge amount of bottled-up stress and anger released, his owl being his confidant. - I have a problem with this sentence. Simply because of the ending. 'His owl being his confidant'. That seemed oddly out of place.
I didn't pick up on any glaringly obvious spelling or grammatical errors, so kudos there.
As far as Harry confidence in telling off Dudley, that seemed out of place. I ascertained from this story that this was right before Harry's first year of Hogwarts. If that's the case, well, I don't think he would have told his cousin off that soon. His confidence came over years.
Though, I thought Dudley was in character. Though, I do think he would have woken Vernon up simply to see 'Potter' in trouble. However, that's just my humble opinion.
This seemed to flow decently, and I didn't think it was rushed or anything.
I felt that the nightmare sequence, however, was quite realistic. He did seem particularly sensitive to attacks of the mind, especially in his sleep, and he did remember the green light. So that part seemed rather canon.
Over all, this seemed pretty well written. So kudos there.
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you for another great review!
Hmm, you're right, that sentence is weird. 0_o I'll fix it ASAP.
Yup, this is after Hagrid comes to Harry and before Harry gets on the Hogwarts Express. I see Harry's tell-off to Dudley more as a moment of rebellion. I agree with you; the real confidence came later, but I think that he might have had a moment or two of strength, especially with his emotions rising as he did in this piece. I think that Dudley was up and ready to go get Vernon, but when Harry gestured to the wand he was scared off.
I'm glad that you liked the nightmare part! :)
Thank you again for the great review! :) Report Review
this was a cute story...but it doesn't sit with canon. Harry didn't go back to the Dursleys after Diagon Alley, he hung around the Alley till the start of term. Didn't he?
I did love this story[added you to my favs so I can pop back over to read some of your other works]. I just couldn't slot this one-shot into the stories where it sat right, I know it's after Diagon Alley- but why don't you say something about Dud's tail?
:)Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Though I don't have my book with me at the moment, I think that Harry did go back to the Dursleys - if my memory sits correctly, he had to ask Uncle Vernon if he could get a ride to King's Cross.
Ah, his tail! I totally should go back and add something in about that - thanks for the suggestion!
And thank you so much for the favoriting! It makes my day. Report Review
Ignore what that other person said. They don't know what they are talking about.Author's Response: Haha, thanks, I'll do that. :)
You know, I wouldn't have minded it had they included some constructive criticsm on what exactly they hated.
Ah well. We can't get great reviews like yours all the time. :) Report Review
Aww thats really cute. I love when people write stories that could be true to the books, like "missing moments." Great job!Author's Response: Thanks! I think missing moments are fun, too. (If you'd like to see another I've written, check out "The Orphaning of Teddy Lupin.") Report Review
This was great! You showed Harry's anger in a way that was normal for an 11 year old to feel. Meaning, you didn't make it overly mature for him. Get what I mean?
I really loved when he said that he and Hedwig would be the best wizard and magical owl. That is definitely something a little boy would say.
I thought this was spot on. Not too long or short. Not too deep. Just the right amount of emotions for someone his age to feel. Especially one who had gone through everything he did.
Excellent job with this, dude. And you thought you wouldn't finish it in time. Look you what you got out of it! :)
Oh and, good on Harry for snapping at Dudley. He deserved it.
-Reyes91Author's Response: My first challenge, and I finished it! It was a lot of fun, thanks for making it.
And thanks for the amazing review!
I am so happy that you said Harry seemed his age - that's exactly what I was aiming for, and I was worried it didn't come across.
I'm glad you liked that line from Harry to Hediwg; it was one of my favorites, too. :)
Thanks again! Report Review
this was lame! This was only a horrible story! WHERE IS THE ACTION! I HATED IT!Author's Response: If you hated it so much, why did you take the time to review? Honestly, I don't care what you think. Action doesn't always make a story. Report Review
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