you did a good job with this story! gave it a good setting, and set its mood really accordingly! the only thing i caught was the few times you said 'whilst', which isn't bad. it just kind of made me laugh cause i never see anyone use it (; but in all! really good story :DAuthor's Response: Thank you, I'm pleased you liked it. I did love writing it. Really? I think I use 'whilst' quite a lot! Report Review
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