Reading Reviews for The Noontime Surprise
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by girly1393 The Noontime Suprise

6th March 2011:
Her sudden burst of emotion surprised me.

It was funny and well-done.

Bravo to you.

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Review #2, by supportingseverus? The Noontime Suprise

6th May 2010:
oh i love this! so so so romantic. very nice

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Review #3, by Ava Pearce The Noontime Suprise

8th April 2010:
Hi RoseWeasleysPatronus here (sorry for taking several months to review your story! I have no valid excuse so I'm just gonna say sorry)

Aw.
That was so sweet! I was pretty confused about the way her mother acted until James showed up and was all nervous and I was like *lightbulb moment!* He's gonna ask her!
i really truly loved this story, i couldn't find any faults in characterisation, can't say about grammer or anything as i'm crap at that lol
Very good one-shot
10/10
Ava xx

Author's Response: Hey! No problem, lol. Better late than never (just like my response lol).

Yay!! I am glad you like it!!! Its one of my favorites, so Im glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again!
~~Chelsea


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Review #4, by Yoshi_Kitten The Noontime Suprise

20th January 2010:
I saw somewhere that you said that this was you favorite one-shot, so I decided to go with this one for your second prize review!! And OMGosh, after reading it now, I can totally see why this seems to be everybody's favorite! I mean, holy cow, you write Lilly and James SO amazingly well!! I am VERY impressed with this! It is like one of THE BEST one-shots I think I've ever read on this site!! =)

I must admit, I had never pictured Lily as a painter before. That was a very interesting new spin you put on her character, and I kinda liked it. I just love it when a writer takes a character who we thought we knew so well, and then makes the reader see them in a new light. It makes for VERY good reading, to say the least. Her personality was amazingly done as well! I loved reading her thoughts, especially when she was thinking about the Marauders, lol!

And James, wow... Your portrayal of him here is sheer brilliance! I love, love, love, how cute he is when he's nervous, lol! This thought of his was one of my absolute favorites:
"She was radiating light, whether because of her personality or because I thought of her as my own personal sun, I didn't know."
That is such a beautiful glimpse of how he pictures Lily in his mind. He was such the gentleman, and I love the voice you have given him here! You can certainly tell that these two were meant for each other. I love how madly in love they are, it's so adorable! :)

Your attention to detail and usage of description was awesome, from beginning to end! It really draws you in from the start and holds your attention clear through, which is a marvelous feat! I mean, I could see her painting at the beginning, I could see her reading her book in the kitchen, and I could even picture everything in the park in my mind's-eye as I was reading this. That's how clear and well-written everything was! This is a very beautiful and truly remarkable piece of fan-fiction, and I am so happy to have come across t! You are a very gifted writer, and I cannot wait to read more of your stories!! =)

100/10 (because a simple 10 is nowhere near high enough, lol!)

Author's Response: OMG I am so sorry I havent replied to this yet! *dies* And it is so amazing too! *reprimands self*

WOW one of the best oneshots? Holy cow, I dont even know what to say! How bout THANKS? :D

Aw I am so glad you like James! He's my alltime favorite character to write, so I love it so much when people like how I wrote him in various stories!

You are TOO sweet. I am so glad you liked it so much, ily!! Thanks for the fantabulous review!!
~~Chelsea


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Review #5, by Tetrazelda The Noontime Suprise

15th January 2010:
Awww, this story was so adorable! Nice job! It made me smile the whole time while reading it! :D

Author's Response: Hehe thanks (love the name, Tetrazelda ;)

I am glad it got a smile out of you!!!
~~Chelsea


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Review #6, by Cherry Bear The Noontime Suprise

10th January 2010:
I'm a really big fan of any Lily and James stories, but this one was absolutely amazing. From the start, I loved your characterization of Lily and your descriptions. The first line was so filled with imagery that I was immediately hooked in - I've always thought that's an important part of writing and I want to congratulate you on accomplishing it. Another part of the beginning of the story that I really liked was your transition from painting to Lily's thoughts about James; it was so smooth and effortless.

Lily's mother was also a rather humorous character that I was happy you included; you managed to give her a rather understandable personality just by her actions and Lily's thoughts about her. I believe it's called dramatic irony - the whole 'the audience knows what the character doesn't' thing - and it was really funny to read. The story in itself was rather funny, something that I didn't quite expect for a one-shot I thought would be all fluffy and romantic. But I'm really glad you did, and I thought Lily was really hilarious, especially the bit about Mr. Darcy. Perhaps because I find it so relatable.

I really enjoyed your switch between Lily and James' point of views, which is surprising, because I normally hate that. But you pulled it off so well, and you didn't stretch it out longer than it had to be or cut it short or anything like that. And I could tell right away that the the squiggles and asterisks meant a P.O.V. change, which is another accomplishment for you. Seriously, this is where you should actually pat yourself on the back ;)

I loved Lily's struggle with her old self, how she insisted that she's more mature and won't be suspicious about James' determination to make her have a very wonderful picnic. I thought it was so cute to imagine James' visiting a Muggle store with Sirius - another example of Lily's great humor - and I practically melted when he said he hadn't cooked all of it, but that he'd gotten his mother to help him. I thought your James so adorable, and I think it's because he didn't really seem all that arrogant or independent as you'd expect; it was like, when it came to Lily, he was willing to be dependent on other people just to make sure everything was perfect. And his insecurities were just so cute!

The only critique I have (and it's a very minor one) is that I absolutely abhor the nickname Lily Flower...I just find it so cliche, I suppose, but it's really a matter of personal preference so pay no mind to me. I did think Lily calling him Jamie was rather cute, though - especially because I can imagine Sirius teasing him about it and James turning all red.

The proposal in itself was fabulous. I liked how James approached the subject - bringing up the glance into the future, what they would name their children, especially because it ends up true. I found it surprising that Lily would say she wanted a boy - so many women want girls as their first children - but I actually found it a nice change from the norm.

James' speech to Lily was amazing, I think because it was so simple and you could tell he had no idea what to say so he was just going with the plain truth. His acknowledgement of the fact that they're young - and that he even asked Lily's mother for permission!!! Aw - showed that you really understood the struggle the characters must have gone through to get married at such a young age. And Lily's response was really cute and heartfelt: "Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes!" I adored that line.

And, lastly, I loved the repetition of forever and ever at the end; it was so wonderful and so amazingly-executed, especially how you managed to include the title of the story in the last line. Lily's attempts to absorb every aspect of that moment - something that I think everyone does, but artists do more than anyone else - was so believable and I could just see it happening in my mind's eye. Now that is truly good writing.

And, now that I've inflated your ego to the size of James' during fifth year, not to mention wasted a fair chunk of your time making you read this long rambling review, I'm going to wrap this up. Thank you for this really adorable one-shot! It brought such a big smile to my face on an otherwise smile-free day. I'll be sure to check out what else you've written (:

Cherry Bear

Author's Response: Okay, let me calm my heart down so I can type this response ^_^

First of all, WOW! I dont ever think I have received such an amazing or helpful review EVER. And second, I cannot express hoiw glad I am that you liked this! Its one of my favorite stories, even though its a oneshot, so I am always really glad when people enjoy reading it ^_^

I am really glad you thought James was cute. He is one of my favorite characters to write, because I personally think there are so many aspects of his character that you could delve into, and I just chose to do this particular one here. And the part with him and Sirius at the camping store was literally last minute, and I am glad you picked up on the alternative scene it presented. Honestly, lets see the Marauders in OutdoorWorld lol.

I LOVE how you picked up that at the end! How Lily begins the story painting a picture of her fictional wonderland, and she ends the story painting a picture of her OWN, real-life wonderland, the one she really always wanted. You are the first person who commented on that, and it made me exceedingly happy that you saw it!

So, in conclusion, my ego is pretty huge right now ^_^. But not as big as it was yesterday, when I read this at first. I decided I should let it deflate a bit before I typed something back, and that was probably a wise descision :]. It was long, but definately not rambling, and it didnt only make my day, but probably my week, and maybe even my month.

Thank you so much for this stunning review!
~~Chelsea


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Review #7, by Friday_Star The Noontime Suprise

1st January 2010:
Lovely.
Absolutely lovely.

I adore the fact that Lily is a painter C:

The way James asked is just so...real. He's nervous and scared and...it's really beautiful.

I loved it.

xx

Author's Response: Aw thank you! Yeah, I always figured she would be into something artistic like that ^_^

Thanks for the comment about the reality. I have never been proposed to (yet lol) so was unsure about that part. Thanks again!!
~~Chelsea


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Review #8, by joellatti07 The Noontime Suprise

30th December 2009:
Gaaahh.
I shivered at the last part. :D
So pretty and sweet. (:
Great story!
I loff it. ;D

Author's Response: YAY! I got a shiver out of someone! ^_^

Thank you so much for deciding to leave a review. Funny how such a little thing can mean so much to me, but it does. Thank you for brightening my day with your compliments :]
~~Chelsea


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Review #9, by AllThingsMagical The Noontime Suprise

30th December 2009:
Aww that's really sweet and excellently written too :)

Author's Response: Well thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it!
~~Chelsea


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Review #10, by kandekisses The Noontime Suprise

29th December 2009:
CHELSEA!!

You keep amazing me, you really really do. *wipes tear away*
That was so beautiful! From the very beginning I was hooked. Your descriptions are amazingly good. I could picture the painting in the beginning perfectly and I so wish it was real.

Her mother was adoringly cute. Trying to keep the whole surprise secret and all. &I have to say, while reading and the subtle little hints I did guess right about what the surprise was. But that still didn't keep me from smiling and day dreaming that one day my boyfriend would do the exact same thing lol.

I loved when you switched the POV and you showed how nervous James was. &Then their conversation. &How they mentioned Harry. Brilliant!

Oh &I loved when he called her Lily Flower =)

Yup in case you didn't know yet, this one-shot is going in my favorites. It was perfect! When I need a smile I'll come back to read it again.

Very nicely done!

Author's Response: *squeels and smothers in a hug*

Yay I am so glad you like it!! I know, after a couple years with my boyfriend, Im going to make him read this and say "be just as romantic as James or else" lol. Just kidding, but still it really flattered me when you made that comment.

I am actually glad you guessed the suprise, because you had to anticipate it! Heehee ^_^

I am glad you liked the part about Harry! I put it in as an afterthought but I am so glad that I did!

And whenever I need to smile I am going to read this freaking review because I was smiling so hard when I read it I thought my cheeks were going to fall off! lol

Thanks so much! I lurv you!
~~Chelsea


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Review #11, by AussieAnatomy627 The Noontime Suprise

29th December 2009:
"I would say that there were butterflies in my stomach, but that would have been a horrendous lie. From the way it felt, it must have been bats at least, flapping their wings around in there."
Awww I loved this! Fabulous job!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you! I know, I got really excited when I thought up that line lol. Thank for the review and I am glad you enjoyed it!
~~Chelsea


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Review #12, by still_fly The Noontime Suprise

29th December 2009:
It was really cute & nicely written, good job.

Author's Response: Thank you, I appriciate your review! I am glad you liked it!
~~Chelsea


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Review #13, by SunshineDaisies The Noontime Suprise

29th December 2009:
This was fantastic. Absolutely wonderful. I love it! :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I am happy you liked it, it was fun to write
~~Chelsea


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Review #14, by muinthil The Noontime Suprise

24th December 2009:
Muinthil here with your review! I have to say wow!! I loved this story. It was very well written and I adore James and Lily. I can easily picture this as true to character. I didn't notice any errors with grammar so great job on that. Maybe I need to have my boyfriend read this for ideas on a marriage proposal! LOL

Author's Response: Hello! And thanks for reviewing! Haha oh my goodness, I cant tell you how much I loved that last comment! (and go ahead lol)Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a lovely review! *hugs*
~~Chelsea


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Review #15, by happy_person The Noontime Suprise

23rd December 2009:
that was THE cutest thing i have EVER read!! a-mazing!!! i could totally see James proposing like that. wonderfully romantic fic!!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you, I am so flattered! I love writing romance so much, so I am glad you liked this! *hugs for awesome review* I have some other romance stories if you are interested ^_^
~~Chelsea


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Review #16, by Tinkerbell01 The Noontime Suprise

23rd December 2009:
Hey! Tink from the forums here with your review! Sorry for the extended delay.

I quite enjoyed this little one-shot of yours. It's very unique and original. I'm an avid James/Lily fan, just as I am with any canon character, I suppose.

You've got very good descriptions and you characterize each character very well. I can almost picture each scene playing in my head as I read it.

I love the whole scene at the park, that was my favorite. You've done a wonderful job here hun, and don't be afraid to request again! ^_^

xx

Author's Response: No problem about the delay! Thank you for coming! ^_^

I am glad you like tha park scene, I had so much fun writing it! Thanks so much!
~~Chelsea


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Review #17, by FannyPrice The Noontime Suprise

20th December 2009:
I loved it! I adore Lily/James above all else, and this was just so wonderful! It's well-written, and I really enjoyed the part from James POV.
Favorite lines:
"She was radiating light, whether because of her personality or because I thought of her as my own personal sun, I didnít know."
AND
"I would say that there were butterflies in my stomach, but that would have been a horrendous lie. From the way it felt, it must have been bats at least, flapping their wings around in there."
I realize that this is supposed to be a light-hearted piece, so it no big deal but, out of curiosity, what happened to the war?
That last one made me chuckle.
I also think you've captured people in love really well. Anyway, highly enjoyable read!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for the review!!! I am so glad you liked it!!

Yes, the war well... *hides face in shame* I know the war is technically going on, but it was too hard to fit in to the noontime challenge thing, and I wanted it to be centered on their engagement, not morbid war stuff. I took the cowards way out by not mentioning it basically hehe.
Thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot!
~~Chelsea


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Review #18, by Akabara The Noontime Suprise

20th December 2009:
In response to your request from the forums:
... I'm stunned, I really am. That was amazingly well-written, not just in detail and discription, but also characterization and plot. In fact, I don't believe that my review is going to help much, as I can only say that I absolutely adored this story. It fit well with canon, and the split POV was wonderful. The feelings that James and Lily had were, in my opinion, perfectly done, and realistic down to the last nervous breath.
I give this story a solid 10/10 (a first for me). I thoroughly enjoyed this story! Haha I hope you won the challenge with this!
Thank you so much for asking me to read this story!

-AKABARA

Author's Response: WOW!! Thank you so much! This review made me smile so huge you cant even imagine!

I am so glad you liked it, and thanks again!
~~Chelsea


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Review #19, by WeasleyTwins The Noontime Suprise

14th December 2009:
Hello, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested.

Believable? Absolutely! That was just about the cutest thing ever. I do have to admit that I'm a sucker for anything James/Lily related. Aside from my obvious bias, I definitely enjoyed it. It was lighthearted and fun, something that we as readers often forget is out there. There is so much intrigue into the dark and gloomy, so it's nice that you gave a light, funny read.

To be honest, I have nothing really to say because I didn't find any glaring things that need to be worked upon. The story is well-rounded in all aspects and for that I say you have done a great job!

Shelby

Author's Response: Hello Shelby, wow thanks for getting to this so punctually! :]

Thank you so much! I know, I love James/Lily too, they are adorable!

I am so glad it was entertaining, and that you enjoyed it! Thanks for your imput! I really appriciate it!
~~Chelsea


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Review #20, by fall_for_you The Noontime Suprise

12th December 2009:
I'm sorry, but that was just too cute. Seriously. I'm practically squealing where I sit. I loved it! I particularly liked the bit where Lily says she wants to drown in his eyes and never resurface, I thought that was just adorable. Great job :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you! I like that part too, Im half in love with James, so it was easy to write it :]

Thanks so much!
~~Chelsea


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