This was amazing. It got right into Barty Crouch jr's life. his hatred for his father, the subterfuge, and the love for the master, who did not love. you captured his every angle in such a way that you have recreated this character for me.
mr crouch doesnt loves or even life his son but still took him fishing. that is great. although you added this, you kept the cold facade mr crouch wears. also, the dementors dont effect barty jr. this depicts mr crouch's cold as well. these are uncommon characters. excellent job. i enjoyed this.
now will there be another chpter?? thats my question.Author's Response: This is actually the only chapter, but your review totally made it worth it! Thank you! Report Review
I DO NOT appreciate only finding this after it's been up for nearly two months. I thought I'd made it quite clear that I was to be made aware of ANYTHING NEW. I think we'll have to discuss this obvious mistake. You don't understand - my jaw legit dropped and I said to myself, "WTF CHELSEA, why didn't I know about this?" Then I paused Lady Gaga (what?) and clicked.
For one thing, as always, I adored the title. You'd never associate it with this subject right off the bat, but when you think about it, it makes sense. Do you come up with the concept first and choose the title accordingly, or vice versa? Just out of curiosity. Titles are love. Anyway. The concept was, naturally, astounding. There really aren't enough Crouch-related fics out there and though I know why, it's a shame because there's so much there, and the Crouch story sort of fades into the background because there's no great ROMANTIC betrayal for the majority of writers/readers to cling to. This isn't a love story by any means: this is war, and I appreciate that you showed that so starkly.
I'm not going to lie, I'm not crazy about first person in general, as it's hard to get right, but I think you did a good job of it. I was more drawn in by the content of your words, not necessarily the style (which was very typical Chelsea which I love). The beginning was my favorite part, just because we see so much of each Barty and... yeah. It makes sense and it was well done, especially Barty Jr using magic and Barty Sr exploding about it.
The second section was good, but in a different way. There was very little personality in the narrative there, but that's not exactly a negative. The way I saw it, since Barty Jr wasn't there, it feels like someone else is relating the story before Jr comes back. So it made sense, and still carried on the same sort of industrial style and diction you use a lot. It was regimented, rigid, subtly amazing. It's a very distinctive way of writing - you don't waste time with flowery descriptions and the like. It's very strategic, I think :)
The end was lovely. Well, not lovely, but it provided a great sense of closure while still leaving an open end; not for continuation, but because the story is not over. The idea that Barty Jr can become anyone he wants is something that is implied but never directly stated by Rowling, and when you think about it, would easily come into play as far as GoF goes, no? And the ending paragraph - LOVE LOVE LOVE. The concept, the diction (though honestly I'd take out the word "subterfuge" from the first sentence because it makes it clear that you're trying to tie into the title, and that's distracting; so I'd leave it as "It was my silent facade") - all so very you. You're one of the smartest writers out there, looking at the underrepresented enigmas of the Potterverse and making them human and/or justifiable and tying in all these delicious concepts that make me jealous as hell. Also, you write the best last lines ever.
Let's make sure that my reviews don't come two months late ever again, okay? Okay. Report Review
This story is really well written. I liked your insight on both Barty Crouch Jr and his father. :]Author's Response: Thank you! This was sort of spur the moment and I'm glad that you liked it :) Report Review
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