It's me from the forums. I have to say I was captivated by this fic. It was short and perfectly formed. Fleur's thoughts are brilliantly portrayed. A simple crush made into a simply brilliant fic!
9/10 (I wish it was longer)Author's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review! i really really really appreciate you taking the time to look over this for me. it's nice to hear that you like this! have a great day! Report Review
I thought that this was rather refreshing. I believe that you mentioned something about being concerned about the flow of this piece? I wouldn't be. I really liked the way it just flowed, with nothing too serious to hold it down for a long time, more just like a stream of thought, something that would actually run through a person's mind. I enjoyed Fleur's arrogance, how she knew she was beautiful, knew she wanted Cedric, and yet it all didn't work out. But my favorite part definitely had to be the fact that she was willing to day that she had better things in life, because I was glad she admitted that old crushes didnt have to be everything, and she didn't dwell on the missed opportunity, but rather embraced the present. Excellent job!
Alassie :)Author's Response: thank you so much. yeah, the flow was a main worry of mine but only because i always fear that i am rushing while writing when most of the time i really am not. thanks for your honest input. i really appreciate you taking your time to review this story for me. Report Review
I love how Fleur speaks her own mind about Cedric's death
Bill and Fleur are one of my favourite ships in the Harry Potter books and Cedric is a really lovely guy may he rest in peace in story book heaven :-)Author's Response: yes, may he rest in peace. :)
thanks again for supporting me so graciously. your thoughts are always sincere and overwhelmingly beautiful. thank you so much. Report Review
Wow I love reading Fleur Fics, especially from her point of view. The writing of these stories seem to come out more like prose. So delicately written so much like Fleur. I like the idea of Fleur being attracted to Cedric Diggory. I mean come on they're both beautiful people. I love how you characterize Fleur as a bit snooty and complexed. From my perspective your characterization when it comes to speaking is good. To be honest since we didn't read much about the two especially Cedric it's hard to vocalize them. I think that Fleur could have had a heavier ascent as JK did her books but that's okay.
Wow I love the way you describe Fleur's fascination with great detail and so so flowing that it's easy to read. Her thoughts seems right on to Fleur and made me wish that Fleur did get with Cedric. Haha that's great writing. Love how fascination can easily slip into hatred, which in reality would be the most reasonable thing to do in her position. Then the story went on to Dumbledore prep-talk and then I realized what was coming next and I felt all sad. NOOO! But the ending felt true and I really liked how Fleur realized how she did not love him but was just fascinated by him. Great Story.Author's Response: thank you so much for the incredibly lovely review! i really, really appreciate it. it is nice to know that you liked what i wrote. i had Fluer's accent sort of laced into her dialogue and all but another reviewer pointed out to me that seeing as this was basically all in her head you don't really think about things with an accent if you know what i mean. thanks again! you really made my night with your very friendly thoughts. Report Review
Good story. This is totally off-topic, but I really love when I can write a finished story within a relatively short period of time, don't you?
Anway, back to the review.
What stood out to me about this story is the reality of Fleur's feelings. You didn't have her fall head-over-heels for Cedric, then be totally, absolutely crushed when he died. No, she crushed on him, liked him, wanted him (to want her, at least), hurt over him, and then got over him. I liked that she didn't really 'get over him' in the traditional sense of 'oh, what did I see in him?' It was realistic. I like that.
There was an inlaid poignancy to the story. It made you feel for what could have been. Very nice.
Again, good job!Author's Response: thank you very much. my desire for this was to get a sense of reality in there, something that not every story does and therefore i am extremely pleased to hear from you and a few others that i pulled that off. it really means the world to me that you took the time to review this. thanks again for your thoughts and all of your help. Report Review
Hey, it's Jasmine from the forums, here with your requested review! :D
So... wow. You came up with this in a night? That's amazing, this is really well-written, especially for being so quick and such.
It's very sweet. You write as Fleur very well, you seemed to capture the essence of who she is--she's self-centered, knows she's beautiful, but she's still got a heart, and she knows she can't have anything. And you didn't make it the 'she wants the one she can't have' story, which I'm not a fan of. (: So good job on that.
The only thing I could think of to say is really more of a personal preference. I wouldn't phonetically spell out when she's speaking in French, because it would sound normal to her. But it didn't really come across as 'bad', again, just a preference. (:
I also liked your ending. It wasn't one of the cliched 'one-who-got-away' things, and it came across as realistic, like she said, just a love, not anything to change her life.
I really liked this. :D Feel free to re-request anytime, I adore your style of writing!
-JasmineAuthor's Response: thank you so much for the amazing review. i get what you mean about the French dialogue thing; maybe i'll take a look at that and change a few things. thanks again! you can definitely count on me to pop back into your review thread any time now. Report Review
Hey it's EnnaBella from the forums with your requested review.
So you said you came up with this idea at night and wrote this story fairly quickly? Wow. It's very polished, and almost flawless gramatically. I'd never be able to do that.
Interesting story line. I like the fact that Cedric and Fleur didn't actually have a fling, and that Fleur wasn't one of those cliched girls who falls madly in love with the one boy she cannot touch. I liked that aspect of it.
It was a simple plot in a way, but the underlying message was powerful and your characterzation was simply beautiful! I truly enjoyed reading this story, because it didn't drag on to long and it didn't seem as though you were trying to make a point and tell the miserably sad and tragic tale of Fleur and her passionate almost-love, Cedric. It was just perfect!
Keep up the awesome work! (and this was all perfectly honest, by the way. I wouldn't change a thing about it!)
~EnnaBellaPotterAuthor's Response: oh wow! thank you so much! i am really very very pleased that you think so highly of this piece. i worked hard on it (strange considering how long it took) and definitely am ecstatic to hear such a positive review from you. thanks again for taking time out of your schedule to review this. i appreciate it with all of my heart. Report Review
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