I loved this!! Oh Sev and lily. It should have been!! I loved your descriptions, I could definitely close my eyes and feel as though I was there. But, you know, then I had to open them because I had to finish the story. But what ev.
I think the dialogue was believable enough, and I definitely think that Severus would have fought Dumbledore on being needed elsewhere. Lily was his, and he would protect her at all costs. That's the number 1 thing I got from the HP series. Lily should have been his. Instead of James's. Who I hate.
But anyway, I loved how simple this was, and though I don't know what is going on with her illness, I think this story works, and you did a marvelous job, my dear!Author's Response: Aww LR THANKS!!! Yes I hate James too. Sev and Lily all the way!!! I'm glad you liked it seeing as Sev is your BFF and everything. THANKS SO MUCH!
Oh and I have to add this ;) (ah staff wo!!!) hehehehe Report Review
This is a really nicely developed one shot! You've made a whole new AU, and portrayed it in a way as to leave no unintended gaps. And you've done this in only 1000+ words! I love the way we're brought straight in, and the world is implicitly explained bit by bit. Really smoothly done - normally this leaves irritating holes in a story, but with yours, the only questions seem to be there to enhance rather than detract from it all.
Your characters also seemed pretty well in character. I adore Severus' moment of sweetness with Lily, followed by cold civility with Dumbledore. Can I suggest a word change though - "would be impossible", to "must be impossible" - as the word would implies Snape knows what it is. That's just my two cents though, feel free to ignore it.
Seriously, nice one shot. It's probably the first I've read in a while that didn't leave me even a little annoyed at the unanswered questions, or seem patchy. Just imagine how developed a world you'd portray in a novel!
Thanks for posting!Author's Response: Gosh Im seriously blushing now! Thank you so much!!! I'll probably go back and change that then as I haven't really read this since I posted it in December. Thanks again XD Report Review
Why aren't I signed in? Because HPFF keeps timing me out. :(
I loved this story! It was very beautifully written and a lot more tender and sad than the other one I read. I can't believe this story only has one review, as it's so good and I can see you put a lot of effort into it.
I love it when Sev loves Lily but I have to say I'm a diehard James/Lily shipper haha. I loved this - it was so heartbreaking and I thought Sev was characterized really well.
I appreciated the wide vocabulary use as well!
I thought the cliff hanger ending worked well. It may have been cheesy otherwise (but I love a bit of cheese anyway!).
Gah, this was so sad yet sweet. I loved it.
- HAuthor's Response: aww thanks broomy. I know there are so many James/Lily shippers out there so I thought that I would leave it open to interpretation of whether James is with her or not. Glad you liked it and thanks for the review!!! Report Review
It was really interesting. And i like the ending, it's a really nice touch to let us make up our own. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the song to listen to! :( I also didn't think Dumbledore was that out of character. But as a gigantic Lily/James sap, I just have to ask: what happened to him? Anyway, I also did the indie song challenge, and I just wanted to see what other's wrote. :) Great Story!Author's Response: Thanks! I couldn't find the song either so I just took the lyrics. I deliberately didn't mention James. Personally, I think in this they broke up at the end of seventh year after Snape joined the Order as a spy, which I know is not canon. Afterall, Lily and Snape were friends for ages. Thanks so much for the review though!!! :D Report Review
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