awe, poor rose! thats so nice, i do hope he goes back to her in the end though! great chapter, cannot wait for more!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm hoping to start working on this again soon but real life is getting the best of me, so I can't give a definite time frame. Thank you for your support! :) Report Review
this is so cute! i love it. of course, all men think about this before a wedding but no one has shown it yet! i absolutely adore it and cannot wait to read more!!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
So I read this fic a long, long time ago. I thought I saved it to my favorites to review again but apparently I was wrong. On top of this, I forgot the title and author... TT.TT I despaired of ever finding this fic again. There aren't a lot of fics that explore how Scorpius might feel getting tied down to Rose.
I love the way you're characterizing everyone. And even though I'm not loving the way scorpius is acting, he's just barely living his life with the oops baby and his girlfriend. Everyone seems to focus in on Rose and make her the victim - which she is of course - but I feel that Scorpius is every bit pitiable as well. I guess they're both victims of their circumstance.
Now there's no grammar/spelling issues I can point out. I think that my excitement at finally finding this story again just makes me so happy~~!
I love reading angst. You deliver! Please update. If not soon, then eventually. This is just too awesome to abandon. :D I'm curious to know the fate of Rose, Scorpius, and the unborn child.
Oh on a side note, I was on grangerenchanted recently and I came across a fic called Repercussions. In it, there was a man named Ophiucus too~~! ^o^ **this is so random** but I'm curious about that name now. Is there any particular reason you chose to incorporate this name into your fic?Author's Response: Woohoo! I'm glad that you found it again. I promise I'm going to update at some point. I've just been losing my motivation to write and I'm not really sure anymore where I wanted to take the plot. I won't let it go, though!
It is really Scorpius's story, so I won't make him completely the bad guy. I guess I just wanted to explore him as a real human being with the flaws of his father (lack of courage) rather than the studly man he is in the fandom.
Honestly, I think I just found Ophiucus as one of the constellations or something. (Yup, looked it up. Serpent bearer). I was just going along with her stars theme ;) Report Review
I feel bad for her, but something tells me that he is not going to be back any time soon :(
Keep up the good work. This is one of the more interesting stories that I have read in a while. I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds for us.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Hopefully I'll be continuing soon, but school is always getting in the way. Keep checking back, though! Report Review
So whose Goose? Molly? or maybe Lily? you said her fingers were slightly stubby, so i dont think its Dom. Anyway, back to more useful reviewing..
Victoire and Teddy were really well done. I particularly love the ship, and your characterization of them was nice. There are a lot of stories where one or the other is cheating, and so its nice to see them playing the protectors here...which as the eldest cousins/friend, i always imagined them to be. I loved Victoire, how she was calm and gentle for her cousin, but she has that temper--understandable considering the circumstances.
And Scorpius really is a coward here, but he is a very interesting coward and I can't wait to see more of him!
I'm going to add this to my favorites and I look forward to an update!
Miranda Report Review
Wow! What a first chapter.
I LOVE it when people begin chapters with dreams, esp. when they dont italicize them or give any indication that it is a dream because its so much fun to be taken for a loop when we finally get to the line about them waking up! :P
Your characterizations are quite interesting so far. I think your Draco was right on, and Scorpius is interesting. His fear of being trapped even though he loves her--its a contradiction but a very human one I think.
Moving on to the next chapter!
MirandaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review, first of all. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to respond. I really appreciate your feedback, though :) Report Review
I loove this. Hopefully Scorpius won't be gone forever :P But please continue, I'd love to see where this story goes and how it ends. You're a wonderful writer :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll be sure to update soon :) Report Review
Here with my review!!
I just thought that Draco was a bit off...I don't know- he might keep his mouth shut and stay quiet for the remainder of the day, but he wouldn't say that sentence when Scorpius came to him. But that could be just me. Probably just "A Malfoy marrying a Weasley."- but now that I read it, its just Scorp's thoughts and he might see his father saying something like that.
I had a feeling it was a dream, because he didn't have a clue what was going on-so you did a good job writing it. Then when she was coming up the isle I really started second-guessing and I felt like he was going to make a dash for freedom.lol.
When Ron came onto the scene, what he said about him was slightly random.
I like your characters, they seemed really well developed in this one chapter. I could feel all the emotins flying around the place when he was about to get married, which was really well done. There was one part, where it got a bit hazy and it was like you were telling us what was happening, instead of showing and it was when she started attacking him, you just need to describe what he felt while being attacked a bit more.
Wow!! why did he leave her?? because of a stupid dream? I know its all his fears and everything, but if he loved her enough, he would of waited for her to wake up and explain to her what he wanted to do. From the dream he seemed to love her loads, so it's a bit off that he'd be so selfish and leave his pregnant girlfriend, who he loves immensely.
It was a really good story, great work.Author's Response: I totally agree, but I think that his characterization here is what Scorpius would fantasize about him father saying. Even if he doesn't want to get married, he still wants his father's approval. There had to be something nice in this chapter :)
Hmm...I tried to look back to see what you meant about Ron. But I couldn't find him. It's been a while since I wrote this, so I'm not completely familiar with it anymore.
Thank you so much! I'm still working on my description skillz, so it's totally noted. Thank you so much for your help on that :)
I don't think it's completely off. People do crazy things when they are young and faced with huge decisions. He just took it to the extreme. I hope to justify if more in later chapters.
Thank you so, so much for your thoughtful review. It was very helpful. Report Review
Hello, it's Lilau from the forum with your requested review ^^
I like the fact you that you start with a dream. I was wondering what was going on seeing than Scorpius also didn't know. It's very catchy, a very good start.
As far as I can say with one chapter, your story seems interesting and you character well-developed. I like your Scorpius and your Hermione. I had troubles understanding your Draco. Sometimes he seems a little contradictory. He sort of dislikes the Weasley and seems not elated as seing his son marrying Rose, then he congratulates him and is happy for him. I know that it's normal for a father to be happy for his son. It's just that you used words like "scornfully" to describe Draco and just after "chuckled". But then it's the first chapter and it's in a dream (where people do not behave normally) so I can't tell much about him. I'm just telling you that so you can be aware for following chapters.
"He looked over Scorpius's shoulder to Ron Weasley, who was white-faced and nervous-looking. "Even her father is an idiot.""
Have you forgotten an "if" for your "even her father"? Sorry if it's wrong my English is not so good.
Calling Rose a "harlot" at the end was maybe a little too much. I mean we see through his nightmare that he really loves Rose. So how can he be so mean to her when he woke up? Sure she tried to rip him but it was a nightmare. He might have been afraid of her first then finally comes to his senses and sees that she is the girl he loves. That's why I think that you could have developed a little bit more the ending. I love the fact that you have a little monologue in three parts: Rose is bad she tried to rip me (with what you wrote about how she predicts her pregnancy)/ but that was only a nightmare (giving more about that he loves her)/ but he still needs to go. I just think the two last parts are not developed enough. I think you can write more on the fact that it's was just a nightmare (being more relieved, etc.) and on his reasoning about the fact that his nightmare was partly true (wondering why he dreamt that, what does that mean and feeling like his life was taken away from him, etc.). That way it will give more depth to his reason for departure apart from just "I need a life" (and give more depth to that reason too).
Just a side note: the JERK he leaves without letting a note. I hope Rose hexes him into oblivion !
Congratulation, your chapter makes me want to read more. So tell me when it's next updated ^^Author's Response: Hey, I am FINALLY responding your very kind review. I am so, so sorry that it took me so long. Finals got in the way of everything else for awhile.
I think I wanted Draco to be a contradictory character because he's not really sure how he feels about the situation. He doesn't really like the idea of Weasley wife, but he always wants to very best for his son. I'll try to make his character a little more defined in the following chapters.
He hasn't really gotten to the point where he can accept how much he loves her. I understand what you're saying, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. He's in such a flurry of emotion during this chapter that he doesn't really think of what he's saying. It's like when you accidently refer to your mother as the "'b" word when you definitely don't mean it. He's just trying to justify his leaving, because, in his heart, that 's what he really wants to do.
Thank you so much for your great review! I'm sorry again that it took forever to respond. I'll let you know when I've updated :) Report Review
Well... it think it's a darling start, dear! Has a zing to it, where you know it's going to be dark and dirty and not focused around flufftastic love at first sight nonsense. Seeing as how this is only the beginning I can't even try to form an opinion on the plot or the character's. And other than a few typos and grammer prferences on my part, it was very well written. Re-request when you're next chapter is up and I'll be happy to review again!
~OnnaAuthor's Response: Absolutely! I'll write fluffy one-shots once in awhile, but I love the nitty, gritty stuff. It's so much more fun to make my characters squirm. I figured that was the case, but that's definitely a concern I have for the rest of the story. I figured I get a head start! Thank you very much for your helpful review, Onna! I'll be sure to request again :) Report Review
I'm not sure how much I can tell you about what you addressed in your areas of concern, particularly since this is the first chapter. And much of it was a dream sequence so the characters are moved a little bit away from reality, but I'll try.
You know, the first part of this chapter made no sense. It just... it just didn't sit right, you know? All that talk about Scorpius not knowing where he was, how we got there or why he was there. It made sense. The reader knows that he is about to get married. And the reader understands Scorpius's reluctance. But, at the same time, there is this sense of foreboding. It just... there's something about it. It's almost eerie without being eerie. Yeah. I'm not entirely sure how much sense I am making. But if you can somehow comb through what I just wrote and make some sort of sense of it, I have to add this - it is probably one of the best dream sequences I have read.
Dreams are not supposed to be like real life. They are not supposed to make sense. They are supposed to mimic real life. While you are in them, they always make sense. But to a bystander, they never do. When you wake up and remember your dream, it sounds ridiculous. This dream sequence had that ridiculous factor. It didn't make sense. Scorpius did not know why he was there. The whole thing seemed off. Even Rose's reaction - that split second change in her emotion to anger and the way she lunges (or, I presume she lunges - it's not actually stated) at him. It's doesn't sit right. And that's what I love about it. That's what dreams are. They're a manifestation of your emotions and thoughts. Nothing more.
I do have to admit, though. That bit about Rose becoming enraged sounded like it came from a bad fanfic. You know what I mean. Those ones that make you cringe. Hee. It just made me laugh a bit. Anyway, not that's at all relevant...
Back to the dream! Even though it didn't sit right, it seemed a bit off-centre, it still showed that Scorpius was terrified out of his mind. It showed that very clearly. And I think it's a really clever way of showing that. Instead of him writing in a journal, having a conversation or sitting in contemplation - this worked better. It's something different. And I loved it. You don't know how excited I am that an author FINALLY realises what dreams are and what they are supposed to portray...
The pace of it, at the moment seems absolutely fine. Again, I'm not too sure how much I can really say about it - but, for the moment, you're set. I could see how you might be concerned about the part after which Scorpius wakes up, but it flows fine. The reader has understood that he is scared and they don't really question why he is leaving.
I don't normally endorse a man leaving his pregnant girlfriend because he is terrified and not ready, but, you know what? This sounds exciting. The summary of this story alone makes me excited to know what happens next. This girl that he meets on his wanderings - she sounds like someone you could have a lot of fun with. And her showing him "the dark side of life" - I wonder what that entails. And whether or not Scorpius goes back to Rose.
It raises a lot of questions. And I think that you have set yourself up really, really well. You have only really shown us Scorpius and things from his point of view, but the characters still seem to make sense. That old awkwardness and animosity between the Weasleys and Dracos is still there. That alone is enough to make it seem really believable.
Great start to something that I can foresee as being something really, really cool.
Ju :]Author's Response: I'm SO sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to this. I've been on the death train to finals the past couple of weeks. I totally agree with you. It's just a big concern with me, so I wanted to make sure that I nipped it in the bud.
That's what I meant for it to be! I'm so glad that it gave you the creeps. I've always just kind of skimmed over dream sequences, but I felt like I really needed this one in order to propel my plot forward. I didn't want it to blatantly be a nightmare, but I waned to give my readers a sense of serious unease. I'm so glad that you understood that Rose's freak out was simply a manifestation of Scorpius's darkest fears. I was waiting for some review to say, "You totally took Rose OOC. She would never attack her boyfriend." I'm really glad that you enjoyed that dream sequence. I worked really hard to make it seem realistic. Thank you again! I've always had a problem with my stories being almost totally dialogue drive, so I knew that it would be better to branch off her.
Great! I'm glad you've latched on to the hooks that I put in there. I just wanted to show that there are some cowardly men who will not do the right thing. There's going to be some things from Rose's point of view, in order to flesh out the story, but this is really a story about Scorpius and his deals with the devil. I'm excited to write more, and I can't wait for my winter break in order to do so.
Thank you so much for the view and for being so patient with my delayed response! I really appreciate the time you took to check this out for me. Report Review
Aww... Poor Rose! And incidentally, poor Scorpius!
Hey, it's Ice from the forums, here to drop you a review!
I thought you did a wonderful job with the characterization, I didn't feel any dull, flat, lifeless characters anywhere! I can't believe you made Scorpius dump Rose though (sorry, personal opinion)!
But, about the end, when Scorpy asks himself what he should say to Rose, when he says "'I'm sorry, but I dreamed that you wanted to rip my heart out and eat it for breakfast.'" It should be: "'I'm sorry, but I dreamed that you wanted to rip my heart out and eat it for breakfast?'" Because he's asking himself a question.
I see a conflict for Scorpius in the future, when he's out with who ever he's out with. It's obvious he really loves Rose, but he doesn't want to be tied down. He'll probably keep wanting to go back, but can't bring himself too. I do hope you flash over to Rose when Scorpius is off on his adventure, it would just add more to the story, to see how Scorpius is missed at home.
As for the melodrama, I don't think you put to much in, but you're right on the edge. Be really careful in the future chapters!
I'm really excitied to see where this is going, so post on my review thread when you put up chapter 2!
I hope this was okay!
-IceAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! It will become more clear why Scorpius left Rose in the next chapter, when everything fnally gets explained. Don't worry! I imagine that's kind of a hit for any huge Scorpius/Rose fans.
Yes! Ha! I'll go back and fix that. Thanks!
Absolutely! I was planning on it. It'll focus mostly on Scorpius, but so much is going to be going on with Rose that's it's partially her story, too. I'll also have a few chapters that focus on the third main character, who is yet to be revealed ;)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful review! I would love to request again! Report Review
Hey! It's EnnaBella(Potter) from the forums with your requested review!
Ok - I SO thought that that beginning part was real! I got all freaked out at first and began to think that the was going to be a bloody gory horror story about how Rose is a serial killer and likes to lure men into her life just to tear their hearts out and eat them...but, yeah. You get the picture.
Wow, what a wonderful job of suprising me. I really like the concept you've begun this story with. I think it's an exciting, unusually fresh beginning, as well as solid and well-written.
Keep up the fantastic work!
As for your concerns, none of them were really a concern of mind (so far, at least). The characterization so far is especially good, I think.
~EnnaBellaPotterAuthor's Response: Great! That's exactly what I was going for. Of course, Rose is nothing like that. She's actually a lot more docile and bland; I just wanted her to be a huge leap of "WHAT?"
Well, thank you very much. It's more the rest of the story that I was worried about, but I figured I better nip it in the bud!
Thank you for taking the time to review for me! :) Report Review
Ahh! I totally ignored your areas of concern, I'm so sorry!
Your characters are FARRR from thin and lifeless; on the contrary, they are intriguing, their personalities (at least, some of it) are very realistic, and I'm sucked into this story.
I don't read much NextGen, so I really can't give any decent advice about that, but I can say that your readers will be glued to their screens.
There's nothing to say about grammar; it's excellent. It's not rushed at all; it just seems rushed, but really, it's only adding to the intensity and that's fantastic!
Don't be afraid of cliches. Based on this first chapter, I don't think you'll be running into those anytime soon.
Peace, love, and chocolates,
MichelleAuthor's Response: Oh, that's alright. I'll be honest, those are more for the next few chapters. I just hate leaving that section blank, because then I feel like I'm just cheating. It's more the next chapters that I'm afraid I'll give more to my plot than to my characters, y'know? Hopefully, I'll get pinched if I start to do that, haha.
Thank you so much again! I'm really loving this chocolate ;) Report Review
Hey there! It's Michelle with your revi- wait a second there, have to add this to my favorites *adds*
I have a lot of "wtf" and "omfg" moments, but when I read the, er, killer bride moment with Rose, my face looked like this ---> O.o
Seriously, this confused-Scorpius twist intrigues me, mwahaha.
I guess he seemed confused and everything was so twisted, and the transition between his dream and reality was so good I had to read it over and over.
Bottom line: This story=LOVE and I can honestly say that I can't wait to read more, I'm just about dying in anticipation! :D
Peace, love, and chocolate,
MichelleAuthor's Response: Well, sheesh! Thank you so much!
PERFECT. HAH. Even when I was writing it, I was like, "Hmmm...is this too much?" I'm glad it turned out right, though. In reality, my Rose is nothing like that. She's a little high-strung, but she's a relatively sweet human being.
He's going to figure out what's going with himself in the next chapter or so. The first chapter was kind of the thing that really made him realize that something was wrong.
Thank you so, so much for your kind words! I'll hopefully be able to get a new chapter up soon, but it might end up being a couple of weeks when I'm on break again. Report Review
Hey there :). Here from the forums with your requested review.
I must say, this is an excellent start. With every word I read, I became just as confused as Scorpius. I couldn't help but wonder how anyone could not only forget proposing to someone, but also forget planning a wedding. It was all so strange, and then the reason behind it became clear. Lovely job with transitioning from dream state to awareness.
Now, I like what you did here. With the dream, we discover his doubts about being with Rose so early in life. We understand that he feels trapped, both by Rose herself and this pregnancy. Though he loves her, he isn't at all the responsibility that comes with a baby. I can't say I agree with his action to leave, because it does make him nothing more than a deadbeat, but I love the idea of him running away. It shows something realistic and natural, and hopefully when he does find himself and maybe returns, it's not to find Rose already moved on and not wanting him to have anything to do with the child, in any way.
I think you characterized the characters in this very well, even though it's just the beginning. We see Hermione's displeasure at the mention of Draco, and Draco's old grudges still firmly in place, even if he is happy for his son.
I can't really say yet as to whether Scorp is thin and lifeless. There is a character here, but I can't say if he's one-dimensional because it's only the first chapter. I've seen some of his traits, but I don't know if it's all there is to him yet.
At first, I would have said that it did seem somewhat rushed. But when I realised that it's a dream, I think differently. There's no other way to write a dream sequence, as not many people can recall every detail of what happened in one, even if they woke up immediately. I certainly can't. So I think you did a good job with it, and the entire chapter as a whole. You jumped right into the think of things, what with Scorp already leaving, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Now, there were a couple errors.
Marriage had something that he thought about once in awhile, and he knew that it would eventually be the Rose Weasley. - Marriage had been something that he thought about once in a while, and he knew that it would eventually be with Rose Weasley.
I think that's what you meant there, or at least, it reads awkwardly how you have it at the present. There were a couple other awkward sentences that a quick read-through could spot, but nothing so glaring. If I wasn't reading it so slowly, I probably wouldn't have come across them, to be honest.
It was a lovely chapter though. The plot seems interesting, Scorp seems like he's going to be a good character, and it was written in a way that has the reader wanting more. So, good job. I love it when the relationship between Rose and Scorpius isn't perfect, or he gets someone other than her, because I feel that the relationship is overrated. But hey, that's just my opinion. So this is refreshing.
Keep it up!
~L. KelleyAuthor's Response: Haha! Good! I'm glad into wasn't too ridiculous for you. I debated with doing a line break, but I really didn't want to pull the reader out of the story that much; I'm glad that the simple line transition worked for you!
I'm definitely going to go a lot more into that in the next chapter, while he's wandering around a litlte bit. I just didn't want to beef this chapter up with backstory; it was more ofn experiment, if you will.
That's what I figured. It's more in the rest of the novel that I'm worried about leaving the characters too thin, but I'm glad that you're already starting to see some development. It's very encouraging!
Great! I'm always struggling with with pace, and this was especially difficult for me. I was torn between giving a proper introduction to the characters and giving the dream a chance to be realistic. I'm glad that you liked that I leapt right into it. I just didn't see the point of dragging out the leaving with a sobbing Rose and all of that. I really wanted to grab the readers and pull them in.
Fixed them already! Thank you! I'm always doing dumb things like that, because I have the horrible tendency to think faster than I'm typing, haha. I get the strangest typos that way.
Thank you very, very much for your encouraging feedback! I really haven't read much Rose/Scorpius, but I knew what the general stereotype was, and I really wanted to pull away from that. Thank you again! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my chapter, Leigh Kelley! :) Report Review
Good grief, what a tale!
This was well written, I think. You worried about character development; you needn't worry. Your characters are all pretty well developed. Scorpius (bloody prat, lol) seems self-absorbed enough. All the rest of the characters seem on par.
You also mentioned the timing of your story. It, too, seemed fine. You got all the information that we needed down without us hurtling across the story like some sort of roller coaster. The end seemed a little fast, but not overtly so. Not enough to worry about.
As for the path of unbelievable melodrama, don't worry, you haven't gone near that yet.
So, all in all, good work! :)Author's Response: It's not so much this first chapter that has me worried; it's more the following chapters. Most of my concerns are things that I'm already worrying about for the rest of the story, and I just want to make sure that I get them taken care of as soon as they start appearing. Thank you so much for your comment about the timing. Especially with this chapter, I was worried about being like, "Well, HERE'S MY PLOT!" Hopefully, though, you won't find Scorpius quite as self-absorbed when he's given a chance to explain himself in the next chapter. ;)
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a review! :)
Here from the forums!
I'm very convinced by Scorpius... he seems like a genuine person. That's a good thing, by the way, because you alays get the really unrealistic people.
I like the beginning -- it's all very mysterious, and quite surreal.
You're right, you have good grammar, but you need to read your work out loud. Some of the sentences made no sense, and I reckon your eyes skimmed over the mistakes.
Very good start, feel free to resubmit!
xEAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you for taking the time to stop by!
Great! That's exactly what I intended it to be. I wanted to give it that creepy dream-like quality, without telling the readers right away "This is a dream!".
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the sentences not making any sense. Is it the wording? I know that I have a tendency once in awhile to skip over words if I'm typing quickly, but is it that or the sentence structure itself?
Thank you so much for our helpful review! :) Report Review
first let me say this- *adds to favourites*
Okay now that that is done :-)
This is great. I'm so glad that you have requested, it's not something I'd normally read, but boy am I glad that I did.
You're characters are great, realistic and canon where they can be.
I LOVE Scorpius in this, what a terrific character you've created! His attitude, getting Rose pregnant, his fear of being locked in, I can tell this is goin to be a great story and I can't wait for the next chapter!
You're grammar seems perfect to me, admittedly I was so taken in by the story I wouldn't have noticed any errors unless it was MAJOR! But I'm pretty sure it's perfect.
The flow, tone, writing style of this is really great. I enjoyed it immensly, and really am hooked, and wishing that chapter two was already up! haha
Great job, I'm recommending this story somewhere, I have to, you have me hooked.
Great work again,
Sorry I've babbled through this review, but your story has me hooked and I can't think straight I like it so much.
Burke. I'll be over to review chapter two when its up!Author's Response: Well, thank you! I'm so flattered!! I would love another review from you later :)
Haha! It's funny you say that, because, honestly, this not something I would normally write! I guess it was good for both of us to think outside the box this time.
I really don't what else to say except thank you for such a luminous review! It might be a little while before chapter two gets posted since I'm heading back to school tomorrow, but I'll try to pump it out soon.
Thank you again for taking the time to leave such a nice review! It's really encouraging to get that kind of feedback :) Report Review
Hello darling! Chelsea here from the forums with your review! (I guess it didnt take that long to get out of the holding bin after all!)
I don't write next gen, but I read it a fair amount. Since there really isnt such a thing as a canon next-gen character (since JKR didnt write anything about them) I cant say whether Scorpius was canon or OOC, but I can say whether the Hogwarts characters were! And I think you did a lovely job with them. Just the way you made Hermione's mouth into a disappriving line at the mention of Draco, and the way that Draco is happy for his son but cant help but make the little barb about Ron. Very nicely done with them.
Now to Scorpius. I think you've characterized him well. his confusion comes across loud and clear, and the reader (thats me) finds themselves getting anxious with him over the wedding. You really, really had me going with the wedding! ayayayay, I feel duped! But in a good way, I suppose! I am really wondering what is wrong with Scorpius? Why did he leave? Why did he have hostile feelings toward Rose? Why is he so scared of marriage? Why am I asking so many questions? I guess I'll figure out those answers later on in the story!
Rose--when I got to the part about her attacking Scorpius at the alter, and then his groomsmen beating on him as well, I had possibly the biggest 'wtf?' moment of my life :]
I am really curious to see how you continue on with this story, it all seems to be coming along quite nicely for the first chapter!
Be sire to re-request when more chapters are up! Cheers!
~~ChelseaAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you so much for stopping by! I really appreciate the help, especially if you read Next-Gen often. I was nervous about my endeavors, since it's totally new territory.
I totally agree with you about the Next-Gen characters not having a canon, especially since I'm trying to stray away from their stereotypes right now. It was the Hogwarts era characters that I was worried about it. I'm glad that you enjoyed them! They'll be a pivotal part of the story, and, since I've never really written them as older characters before, it was a little nervewracking to get them right.
Great! I was so glad that he didn't come off too whiney. The answers will probably be given in the next chapter, as Scorpius starts his wandering. As for the Rose, I'm glad that totally caught you by surprise. I really wanted a "killer bride" effect there, and I'm glad that you were sucked in. Probably thought I'd lost my mind for a minute, eh? ;)
Thank you so much for your helpful review! I'll be sure to re-request! Report Review
I definitely think you've got a very promising start here! Your Scorpius seems very interesting, and I can't help but love Scorose-gone-wrong. They're so often shown to have a perfect relationship once they've got over the Malfoy/Weasley divide, but this is a really great take on it. I can't wait for the next chapter! 9/10.Author's Response: Hooray! I'm very glad to hear that. I wanted to stay as new as I possibly could with a character that's already massively written. This is going to be anything BUT a perfect relationship, but I'm glad that you're open to it. I always love your reviews! :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection