Hi! *waves*. It's Constants from TGS! I'm really sorry I'm so late. I read this a few weeks ago, but didn't have time to review. So I'm here now!
To start off with...I've never read a Longbottom story ever. In all my years of being here. Pitiful, right?
Ellie Longbottom makes me smile. The more I was reading this, the more I was like, "I like this chick". There is something cool about her I can't place. She seems so...broken (is that the right word for it?). Her attention to detail made me think, and the more I thought, the more I wanted to know what was wrong with her. It's just...so emotional. Please continue this story?
I love your detail. The things that were pointed out...the beauty in things you mentioned was extremely refreshing to read. You have a gift that others don't have. You can make an emotional piece with little dialogue and a lot of detail without making it boring. I love it when people do that. How much practice have you had?
My favorite line out of all of this was the end sentence. "How are you today?" It drew out a certain emotion =]] As soon as it was over, I checked to see if you wrote another chapter, but realised that you didn't. Damn. I'm waiting for chapter two, and putting this story on my favorites =]]
ConstantsAuthor's Response: Oh, goodness, this review was worth the wait. I... wow. I'm not entirely sure how to respond.
Yeah, Ellie's grown on me too. She's just so... silent? You know? And... stoic, maybe? Ha, I might just have a screw loose (because we all know that's definitely a possibility).
Practice? Hum... Really, I've just been writing fanfiction for... three years now. I've never taken any writing workshops or anything, though I hope to take a creative writing class next year in school. I'm really glad you like my style, though. I can do description (or so I'm told), but I know I'm absolute crap at dialog. Ah, well.
Second chapter! I sat down and wrote most of it yesterday, actually. It's almost finished, and then I'll just need a couple people to go over it before I publish it. I'm really, really glad you like it! Thank you so much for the review. I really appreciate your time. :)
- Rin Report Review
Wow, Rin. This was...well, it was freaking amazing, that's what it was. Sorry for the lack of eloquence, but I can't find another word that can properly express the impact of this.
I love the way you started this. The bleakness of the scene - the sparse trees, the dead grass, the bitter wind. It made for the perfect setting, especially given the situation at hand. And I like how Ellie finds it to be beauty; a bit of a contrast to what's happening inside of her house, that's for sure, but it hints at the possibility that maybe something good may come from going back to the house? Or maybe I'm reading too far into this, making a Salinger out of your work. That is the more likely case, lol.
Also, I really enjoyed the way you wrote Ellie. Her sadness and hesitancy was very profound - poignant, even, but it wasn't the least bit angst-y. Well, overly angst-y, I should say because this was fairly sad. It was also very tangible, her hesitancy to get out of the cold and go back into the house. She seems very mature, but not because she developed that way naturally - almost like she was forced to grow up so that she may deal with such a delicate situation.
Speaking of, I'm very curious to learn what's going on. I mean, I get what's going on, but I'm eager to see how it plays out. Does that make sense? Haha, probably not, but oh well.
Anyway, this was amazing, Rin. Seriously. I'm positively green with envy right now because your descriptions are to DIE FOR. So lush, so perfect...I'm jealous. =)
A MILLION out of ten.Author's Response: God, Molly, you make me sound like some sort of writing goddess, but really, YOU are the awesome, wonderful person here. Your review has made me smile for DAYS whenever I think about it. ;) Thank you loffly!
Goodness, you read so much into this. Almost everything you said was spot-on, too, and what I was trying to convey to the reader when I wrote. You have a great eye for sub-themes, my dear. Thanks so much for giving me confidence in my writing abilities.
Thank you so, so much Molly. You are my absolute review hero.
- Rin Report Review
Rin, how? How do you do it? Really! Your writing is fantastic, love. Your descriptions speak as if we were watching them, being apart of their day to day activity. I love it.
How old is Ellie here? If she's a child, you write her extremely well. Yay, I can say that instead of other people telling me! :P
I have always loved your work and you never cease to amaze me, dear. Never.
I can't wait to see where you take this, hun!
xxAuthor's Response: Hmm... I'm thinking Ellie is 15 or 16, maybe 14. She's in school, and home for the winter holidays. That's pretty much all I can say at the moment about her age, because even I don't really know.
Thanks so much, dear! Your reviews are lovely. :) Report Review
Rin! The review count on this story is so depressingly (and undeservedly) small, so I'm here to rectify that :D.
I cannot squee enough about your writing style. You describe everything to perfection. You wield description beaitfully. I can imagine exactly what is going on in each and every scene. I loved the opening lines. They set the scene and tone perfectly. I love stories which start with description, rather than dialogue.
There were some lovely lines in here. I loved the backstory to the ball. It added a subtle hint of humour which worked really well.
I also loved your depiction of nature. It was soft and pretty and elegant, and I loved it all.
The ending was definitely intriguing. I can't wait to find out what happened/ who that woman is! :D. I'm guessing she's Ellie's mother, but I could be wrong.
Ellie seems well characterised so far. We don't know much about her, but you've given her some traits, some relationships and a little bit of history. I also love Bindi :D. You've managed to make a dog seem well characterized, which definitely takes skill.
The plot is intriguing, and I can't wait to see where you take it. I have absolutely no clue where this will go.
Amazing work Rin, as always.
-Becca xxxAuthor's Response: Becca, I'm so, SO sorry I haven't responded to this sooner. I've been avoiding responding to it for a while, just because of all of the praise that you have included in a review that, every time I look at it, I have to smile at.
First off, thank you so very much for everything you said. I really appreciate you taking the time to read AND review, something that not many readers do these days. I was so astounded when I read through the whole thing, you've just... made my month. :D
Your guess would be correct. ;) Ellie Longbottom has been mentioned in a lot of my fics, even though she's technically a character I made up (though, really, I would still consider it canon). I really like her, and have taken different turns with her character through all of my work. I'm glad you like her so far. (And, just for the record, I love Bindi too.)
Thank you again for your wonderful, magnificent review. I couldn't have asked for a better reviewer. Report Review
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