Reading Reviews for Slytherins Stick Together
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Moonyxluna So What if I Like the Cannons?

5th April 2012:
Im always so torn if Albus should be in Gryffindor or Slytherin, and I loved him as a Slytherin here.

I really love how you write the personallities of each of your characters. I liked how Rose took what Ron said even further-- going past Hermione being there and picking on Scorpius. Albus was great, he felt very real- I loved the bit about his last name being 'Potter' and not Weasley-- you can't always have the most fantastic comebacks and I'm happy you showed that :)

Bonding over the Chudley Cannons! Ron would be proud.. well, if it wasn't Malfoy :p

Great work on this! Your writing is fantastic.

Author's Response: I know what you mean, it almost seems cliche now for him to be a Slytherin, but its just as bad to put all of the kids into Gryffindor.

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Review #2, by lunarocks14 So What if I Like the Cannons?

1st December 2010:
I like it :) it's cute, but I think Al and Scorp should get together. (Recently became obesessed with that pairing, shhh xD) but it's first-year so I can see why not O.o 10/10!

Author's Response: Haha, I too have recently gotten into reading some Al/Scor! I love it! If I ever write a third part that takes place later into their time at Hogwarts I may consider including it, but I have never written slash, so I'll have to see. I am very glad that you liked this piece, and thanks for leaving a review!

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Review #3, by alicia and anne So What if I Like the Cannons?

18th August 2010:
I'm impressed with this one shot, most stories with Albus and Scorpius that I have read seem to have both of the boys friends from the first time they see each other. It's nice to see that that is not the case this is how I imagined Albus's life to be in Slytherin, having teasing from the others and being picked on. I loved how they bonded at the end. I really enjoyed this and I look forward to reading the sequel.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and especially reviewing! It's reviews like this that really make my day! I have always thought both of my Slytherin.. pieces to be somewhat cliche, so it is nice not to have anyone mention that and for you to think it different!

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Review #4, by Ms Malfoy So What if I Like the Cannons?

18th August 2010:
I liked this, because not only was it realistic of the Slytherin house, but also of the other students (James, Rose, etc.). No one would've expected Albus to be in Slytherin, and for that he would've been shunned by both the Slytherins (some of which would have hostility toward him born into them) and the other houses. It would be really hard to fit in to Hogwarts, and I think you clearly portrayed that. This is a great take using present tense, which we don't see a lot of.

Grammar, vocab and punctuation were all great.

Nice Work :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind review! And my grammar and such were good? Yay!

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Review #5, by Capella Black So What if I Like the Cannons?

15th August 2010:
Overall, this is a really fun and moving piece. Whenever people mention being sorted into the "wrong" house, I always imagine that the problem would simply be with those in other houses, but this story has really highlighted how even your own house mates might not be too keen! I really like how you've captured that, with pranks and hostility, and that you've done so without resorting to cliches like duelling (which at their age wouldn't be possible anyway!)

The writing style too, is really readable. I like how you flick from narration to stream of consciousness; this has the potential to get confusing if not done well, but in yours the two are connected seamlessly. The only part where this ins't quite so good is the final sentence - should the word be fades rather than fading, because as it stands it feels like half a sentence. Still, a tiny point, and easily corrected if it is indeed a mistake.

My favourite part of this was the way you had Scorpius and Albus bonding at the end of the story over Quidditch. This really had a feeling of believability about it, particularly as it evolved slowly from a fight to a conversation. I also like how you had them realising that neither of them has quite the perfect life that the other imagines, as this sets the scene for what could end up as a really strong friendship, but does so without forcing the point too strongly. I just hope they manage to keep it going, and will be checking the rest of your stories to see what else you think the future would have in store for the duo.

Thanks for sharing this with us - it's refreshing, fun, and original to boot!

Author's Response: Ooooh another review! Thanks again! Do you know that you seem to have read these out of order? I couldn't care less, but just wondering if you knew. To be honest, I was so scared of this being very cliche, but I am so glad you didn't seem to think so!

When I wrote the sequel I thought that I may in the future write even more to go with their story, since I love it so much, but at the moment I am working on something else. Hopefully in the future I will come back to Scorpius and Al.

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Review #6, by peppersweet So What if I Like the Cannons?

14th June 2010:
Ooh, this was a sweet little one-shotty thing (: I felt a little sorry for Al for a bit, but it's good to know he's getting in a bit of male bonding with Scorp (:

Just one tiny little mistake - 'Great my first day and Rose already got us in a fight.' - there should be a semi-colon or a comma after the 'Great', I think, to break up the sentence a little. But overall, this was well written; you've certainly managed to work the present tense well. Good job (:

Author's Response: Haha, male bonding. Honestly never thought of calling it that, but that definitely works! Thanks for the correction too! I am planning on going back through all my one-shots sometime this summer and making corrections like the ones people have suggested in reviews. I am glad you liked this and thought it was sweet! As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #7, by maskedmuggle So What if I Like the Cannons?

10th April 2010:
Awwh lovely (:
great job at catching their personalities!

Author's Response: Thank you so so much! Personalities and all small details are something I always try to focus on, but I struggle sometimes with, so I am glad you seem to enjoy it!

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Review #8, by coutureandwit So What if I Like the Cannons?

8th March 2010:
you should make a sequel and do a one shot of 7th year... haha.

i liked how it all starts with quidditch!!! great job!!!

Author's Response: Interesting idea, do you mean like how their friendship progresses over their Hogwarts time? I may have to seriously think about that. Thank you for taking the time to read and review, it means a lot!

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Review #9, by long_live_luna_bellatrix So What if I Like the Cannons?

1st March 2010:
This was an enjoyable one shot. I found it a little predictable, but I don't think I would've wanted it to end any other way either. Your characters were well written, although my favorite was Rose by far. Her interpretation of Ron's instructions was hilarious.

The only real concern I have is the mechanics. You switched tenses in the second paragraph, and your dialogue was choppy at times. Try reading it aloud, and see how it sounds. It felt like you needed pauses in more places and a lot more periods. It was also unclear at th end of the first half of the story if Malfoy or Rose was talking. And, finally, first years don't generally swear like Al did at one point.

Those are all small things, but they did add up. Otherwise, it was an enjoyable, bright little story. A sweet way to picture things.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I am glad that you enjoyed it, and at the same time thank you for your comments. I am going to read it through again and take everything you mentioned into consideration. I had Al swear? haha oops! I rarely swear (and I am 17), so I am surprised I wrote it for such a young character.


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Review #10, by tbhasker So What if I Like the Cannons?

12th January 2010:
Haha I like it! I just feel you should expand on the ending a bit more, ya know? Maybe you should add on how his parents react or whatnot. But anyhoo, I loved how he was in Slytherin and not Gryffindor. :) Good job!

Author's Response: Again, endings and me don't mix well. I know what happens and it never seems to translate well. I was really excited about writing this since it was for a challenge, and I had read some fics before with him in Slytherin before and I just couldn't resist. It was my easy way for them to meet/bond. Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by Yoshi_Kitten So What if I Like the Cannons?

5th January 2010:
Hey there!! RoxiMalfoy here to review your challenge entry!! :)

Aw, this was SO good!! I just love the way you have characterized all of the kids here, especially Al. His first meeting with Scorpius was very realistic, in my opinion, and I honestly feel that you have done a fantastic job with it! The whole time I was reading this one-shot, I just didn't want it to come to an end - which is a very good thing, lol!! I mean, the way you capture the reader and draw them in is amazing, and it certainly speaks a lot about your capabilities as a writer!!

I cannot believe this hasn't gotten any reviews yet, and I also can't believe that this is only your 3rd one-shot! You are an awesome writer girl!! You should defiantly keep it up and write more because I think that you did a great, great job with this! Thank You SO much for entering my Challenge!! I am so glad you had so much fun with it!!

This deserves a 10/10 for sure!! =)

Author's Response: Hi thanks so much for creating this challenge, it really has been so much fun! I am so excited that you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for the kind comments and support. I am thrilled by everything you have said! If you are interested, definitely check out my other one-shots.

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