Oh that was great. There is hope yet! And it made me sad that he cried over her but I guess that's because he loved her. Amazing chapter.
10/10 Report Review
Why, Evie, why?! It'll only make you feel worse!!
I can imagine that this is what many girls do but distractions are so bad.
Outstanding chapter 9/10 Report Review
Oh how nice. I could imagine that Sirius would see the Potters as his parents.
Another fab chapter
9/10 Report Review
Glimpsing into each other's soul is my favourite part. I bet you're going to be overwhelmed when all of my reviews fill up your review page haha. I really should be doing my university work or reading or something, but this is so much better Report Review
I love the word 'tool' to describe an idiot. It totally fits. But I suppose he wasn't being a tool on purpose. I love the doubts here, so realistic. If you'd have entered this in the No Dialogue challenge you would have won with this entry too. Because it's different. Technically there is dialogue, but there isn't because it's all a recounted tale.
10/10 Report Review
This story is so realistic. I do think that when you're in a relationship, friends become an important factor (in my case anyway). Either they show their true colours, or their opinion suddenly matters more than before. Similarly, your partner's friends can make you want to stay with or leave them. But then again, maybe I am little too judgmental and picky.
Anyway, great chapter
9/10Author's Response: Argh I'm so glad that all of what I wanted to convey is clearly coming across. Thank you! Report Review
Oh so fluffy ... makes me want to be in love - with Sirius. He seems so sweet even though he doesn't try to be.
Another fantastic chapter
I may only read fluffy fics for a while now ... Author's Response: Sirius Black is pretty much perfection! Hahaha I'm glad he's affecting you hehe. Thanks again :) Report Review
That really is the cutest thing i have ever read.
"My sweet little slice of multi-grain bread" - how cute! This chapter is THE BEST. I love how the chapters are of someone telling the story rather than there being the speech marks or whatever, it seems so natural.
10/10Author's Response: thanks very much - i'm so glad that style is translating well - i was so worried it wouldn't! thanks! Report Review
This is a good chapter, not too dirty actually. Some mature-rated fics are way more ... graphic. You've done a good job at capturing the thoughts of a teenage boy (or wizard, whatever) and I love how it's like they are talking to each other in each chapter. Amazing and the slang was fine too, practically the same as in England (except 'spent', but the meaninf of that's pretty obvious).
9/10 :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad that was easy to understand! I think I originally intended it to be a bit dirtier, but just couldn't bring myself to write it hahah. Thanks once again! Report Review
How old would you be in fourth grade? Early teens? Anyway, besides that, I loved the preamble, a cute little outline of what's to come.
8/10Author's Response: Fourteen in fourth grade. Thanks again :) Report Review
A crying Rachel is so perfect for this chapter!Author's Response: hahahah i have no idea what on earth you're talking about, but cheers all the same! Report Review
This story has an excellent plot, your voice is brilliant and the way you use second person is fantastic. The narration is definitely well thought out and well brought about. I'd love to see where this story goes. 5/5Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much :)
I'm glad you'd like to see where this story goes. It just started off as a little piece I wrote out of boredom. Thanks very much though :) Report Review
Evie is brilliant, done and done. Right there… Need I go on anymore? Yes, I do because then it would be a fair review. Haha.
I love this, aw. I know how Evie feels about Sirius…. She's so sweet, I like being in her mine. I love how she has a best guy friend like him. I think Sirius is still mighty fine no matter how bad he seems. Haha, he doesn't even seem that bad to me though. He's just struggling to handle this relationship with a girl he's clearly in love with.
you write so well. LOVE THISAuthor's Response: Aww, I'm glad you're understanding what it's like for Sirius. I dind't say that outright, cause Sirius wouldn't. So I'm glad you picked up. You are seriously perceptive :)
LOVE YOU. Report Review
In this chapter, I feel bad for Sirius. I feel like he deserves some pity although he doesn't. Haha. I LOVE Sirius. He is so hot, and I love getting inside his mind. Why Can't I have him? And run off and marry him? Oh! I know why, he's a fictional character. Isn't that sad?! I love fictional characters. I love Oliver too, Don't even get me going. And I love Taylor Lautner's character: Jacob in Twilight even though I am not a fan of those books. Taylor is JUST SO HOT, at least in my opinion. Anyway, Sirius. Sirius, Sirius. What are we going to do about him? Evie you guys need to be together. You two are perfect.
I love the names of these chappies, Laura. These are just so original and so great. I love you too!Author's Response: Haha, he's pitiful, but does he deserve pitying? Hahah, that's another matter. I get where ya comin' from. Don't worry ;)
Can I have TBOH Sirius and you have this one? Heheh.
Thank you, again!!! Love you. Report Review
how the heck did you get up four more chapters since I last checked the other day? Yay for you, and your amazing writing and even more yay for your emails. Haha, they made my day this morning and I just woke up here. I really like this. Ohhh if you need to brainstorm, we should brainstorm in emails again like our old crazy ones one time when we are both online. I feel like i'm emailing you in this review. Hahha.
I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I love Sirius and EVie's personality is so amazing too. I feel like I could know someone like her. Your writing is so good. I love how these are just thoughts without dialogue. Even without the dialogue I feel as if this story is exciting and new. I don't think many people or none other than you, crazy, have tried this. It's so good, Laura! LOVE IT AND YOUAuthor's Response: I have no idea how I wrote the chapters so quickly. I just churned them out. Like you, you're a speed writer.
OH! YOU suggested brainstorming too. We both thought of it. How cute :) I'd love to brainstorm. I'll send you an email with all my ideas tonight.
Thanks again, my love! Heheh xxx Report Review
i thought you were going to make Sirius a "typical jock"? this chapter doesn't really show that...unless you decided to not do that, which is fine but this style is really similar to Evie's. it doesn't seem like 2 different people like it was in the first few.
other than that, it was a sweet chapterAuthor's Response: hey there :) thanks for the advice. I'm super glad someone has given me some criticism. thanks very much! Report Review
Aw. I absolutly adore this story so far. Its so differently written to the other stories that i've read. I can't wait for the next chapter:)
-BxAuthor's Response: Hey there :)
Thanks very much. Yay, I'm glad you're liking it. I'm especially pleased that you think it's different. Thanks again x Report Review
Hiii gurl, hey! CHECK YOUR EMAIL PRONTO!
because, you've updated your story and I've emailed you about a bajillion times before you updated this. So that means you were on the computer, haha. And you could have emailed me! I miss emailing you all the time, you know that! I miss getting emails from you! But guess what! I have itunes money now.
Anyway, I love how this story is basically of the character's looking back on moment's they have shared together. We're in their heads. They are not false, or lying. Not through their thoughts anyhow. We can see everything they think and that's simply marvelous! I love how you use so little dialogue in your writing too, it makes your words and descriptions so much more valued to this story. I love how important each word is in the story.
This is lovely! You're really such a good writer, Laura! And you should be so happy with how far you've came! Remember your first story? That wasn't even bad, it was really good! But this… This is MIND BLOWING, Laura!
I miss you, lovely. Email me soon. I'll be on the computer most on the night so maybe you can email me back and forth. Luffs youAuthor's Response: WE EMAILED TODAY. I'm so proud of us :)
I like how it's not present tense. How it's sort of like a diary/conversation for both of them, so I'm glad you do too. Heheh.
Awww, thank you. Mind blowing? That might be pushing it.
I promise to do your chapter tonight :)
LUFF YOU. I haven't used that word in so long, hehe x Report Review
This is so great, Laura. Like it's so different. I feel in a way that it's almost a mysterious story. I love how it's one sided on one chapter with Evie's thoughts then Sirius' (oh hot damn!) Haha. This is really really good. You've really came so far as an author. Hopefully you'll email me soon, gurl! Check your email. Email me. Hope your vacations are going well. love you and this story!Author's Response: Yay! I'm not sure where I'm going to go with it.
OH MY GOODNESS. BRAINSTORM TIME. Yesss, let's have one. Please? I need your help with this. Hahaha. Thank you again, dear. Report Review
Hahaha, Sirius is so different. But, "oh hot damn" to (quote my sister talking about her cat…) he is very very interesting and sounds like quite a hotty. He's so interesting. I love how you write him so differently than most. Check your email, email me. You're on vacations now right? I love you! I love your stories. You are a wonderful wonderful author. Never quitAuthor's Response: Haha. I can't believe I haven't responded to these! Hahah, you think? I'm worried his personality isn't shining through enough in the chapters. New ones especially. Yay! Thanks. You make my head massive, Rach. Love you :) Report Review
Oh la la! Laura's got a new fabulous looking story here. I love it, I honestly think you're brilliant. By the way, just one little tiny weeny piece of cc, you spelled really wrong in your author's note. See nothing big! Yay! This is phenomenal. I love how the two of us always using characters we sort of see in ourselves. Like Maddie or me in a little bit. Anyway, I love this. I'll read the next two chapters soon! Love youAuthor's Response: Heheh, I spelt really wrong? REALLY? Hahaha, oh what a sillyhead. Thanks, my love.
Thank you so much! Heheh, I just put up my gorgeous banner. Isn't it beautiful? I didn't make it ;) Bye, love you! Report Review
AWW, how cute. Good job its a rockin storyAuthor's Response: Heheh thanks. Next chapter coming soon. Yay :) Report Review
Good job, thinking of adding this to my favorites, hope you update soon.Author's Response: Aw shucks. Favourites?
Thanks. Thanks for the review too :) Report Review
This sounds pretty interesting
im curious to read more.
Good job on your first chapter.Author's Response: Hey there :)
That's always good! Thanks Report Review
Wow, totally cool! I simply love this story, keep up the good work.
please r&r mine!!Author's Response: Hey there, thanks very much :)
Sure, I'd love to return the favour x Report Review
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