Reading Reviews for He Came Through Fire and Ash
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sammy He Came Through Fire and Ash

1st January 2011:
i think u should do a sequel cause was great

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Review #2, by siriusly_cool He Came Through Fire and Ash

23rd November 2010:
Wow, this is really good! I love your perspective of how they should have met. And I agree! I also took a look at some of your other works, and I am super impressed! :D

Please write a sequel to this, it would be doing us all a favor!

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much!

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Review #3, by ZephyrDragon He Came Through Fire and Ash

20th April 2010:
I liked it - it was well written - even though it obviously deviates from canon

You should definitely write a sequel =)

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Review #4, by kurlz He Came Through Fire and Ash

23rd March 2010:
Hey there! Kurlz here, from the forums. Sorry it's taken me SOO long to review, but I'm here now, so YAY!

I love this opening - it catches you right from the beginning! Really creative. And thanks for the minimal grammatical errors - SO NICE ^_^ Your writing style flows so well, I'm really impressed. I DEFINITELY think you should continues with Hermione/Victor. If you feel inspired - GO FOR IT!! And let me know if you post more stories, I'd love to read them!

Really, very nice
~K

Author's Response: Hi!

That's okay, I has a review thread too, and I know how super easy it is to get behind lol.

yay! I am glad you think so!!! I jsut love this opening, I think its so much more interesting than a meeting in the library!

Thanks love!
~~Chelsea


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Review #5, by frostbitten He Came Through Fire and Ash

19th January 2010:
Hey again. I like it! It's a clever spin on Hermione and Krum's relationship; I think it makes it fits in with the fourth book well. Ummm... I absolutely think that's an amazing piece of writing and it makes me want to take on some one-shots myself :P

Author's Response: Wow so many reviews! haha. Yes, thanks I thought meeting in the library was too dang boring to turn into a story, so this would be better. Glad you liked it!!

Thanks again!!
~~Chelsea


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Review #6, by Yoshi_Kitten He Came Through Fire and Ash

8th January 2010:
Hello there! RoxiMalfoy here to review your challenge entry. I apologize for the delay, life has been pretty hectic here lately...

Anyways, wow! I never in a million years would have expected this one to come out quite like this (and I mean that in a good way, lol!) You are absolutely right; the thought of them meeting for the first time in the library IS pretty boring, but your version of this is like ten-times better! It fits in well with Cannon, and it helps make everything else make even more sense now. I think that it adds another level to Hermione and Krum's relationship and I am seriously in love with what you've done with it!!

And OMG, your attention to detail in this was amazing! I actually felt like I was right there with Hermione the whole time! And your characterization of both of them was spot-on in my opinion. I can totally see the two of them acting like that in such a situation. Oh, and I really liked Krum's accent, it totally wasn't overdone at all! :)

You write brilliantly my dear, and I am thrilled to hear that my challenge has inspired you possibly write another short-story on top of this one-shot as well!! That would be incredible, and I would totally be interested in reading it if you did!! Oh, and one more thing, I must say the banner that leeshyy made for you is absolutely stunning! Thank you so much for entering my Challenge hun!!

10/10 I really enjoyed reading this a lot!! Please be sure to let me know if you do write more!! =)

Author's Response: Hi! I understand about the delay, and its okay ^_^

Oh WOW thank you so much!! I am smiling so huge right now you have no idea! I was planning on writing a library story but that would have been so dull, and I just kind of said what if this had happened? SO Im glad you liked it ^_^

Im glad you felt like that, that was what I tried to do. And the accent was so grueling. Im American, so I have no knowledge of European accents other that what I see in the movies.

Thanks so much for the compliment, it means a lot coming from you! And I have decided to write a sequel at an undetermined future time, but I'll remember to let you know when it does go up. (and I know, I was thrilled with her banner, shes awesome ^_^)

Thanks again, and this challenge was amazing, and helped my writing a lot I think! (present tense, ahh!)
~~Chelsea


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Review #7, by marinahill He Came Through Fire and Ash

17th December 2009:
I am in awe - I'll never understand how people write good action scenes, but you appear to have nailed the technique. I honestly felt like I was running along with Ron and Hermione there at the start, it was very intense and their fear really came across well. I think you went deeper into that panic than JKR did, because although I recognised which scene it was soon enough, it almost felt different because of the panic and fear that you expressed. It was far more realistic this way, in my opinion, because Hermione is in such danger, something that I dont think we can appreciated from Harry's POV in canon.

Also, I have to admire how you wrote Krum's accent - accents are really difficult to write and some tend to leave them out all together (I tend to avoid using them), but you tried and were very effective. Bravo :)

- Marina

Author's Response: Hey wow thanks! I am stoked you liked how I did the action. I am a total romance writer so it was a major challenge.

I'm so glad you felt like you were there with them! I achieved my goal! And I agree, it wasnt scary enough in canon, so wow thanks for that comment!

Haha yes, the accent...I swear I had to go through a million times to catch all the places where it would change the sound. Thanks so much! Your lovely review made my day :]
~~Chelsea


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Review #8, by Jessabelle He Came Through Fire and Ash

11th December 2009:
AW! ha ha-
It's Jesi, with your review!:

I thought this was way cute. You did a fabulous job with imagery and arranged an extremely believable atmosphere. I was on the edge of my seat through the whole thing! (;

I also think you did a great job showing the fear and the awkwardness between/within Hermione and Viktor. Even though it was in Hermione's POV, you got a good feeling of what was going on in Viktor's head.

I only saw a few minor spelling errors- little things. If you read through it again with "fresh eyes" you should be able to recognize them easily.

Other than that, the story flows very well and the punctuation is (in my opinion) excellent. Your vocabulary is very well used, and it was obvious to me that you know what you're talking about.

Another thing I saw was that you did an awesome job at keeping Rowling's characters, even with the rearranging of this scene. Hermione stayed in character the entire time; it's harder with Viktor because we don't get much a feel for his character in the book- you didn't have a lot to work with.

Overall, you did a spectacular job. I think this would make a great short-story...perhaps a novella?

~Jesi

Author's Response: :] Thanks for this review!! Wow thanks so much for the long review! I love long reviews!!! I will definately go and read through with a fine toothes comb for all those spelling mishaps.

I really want to write a novella on what happens between the two after they meet up again during the Triwizard Tournament. I'm excited for that, so Im happy you would like to see that happen :]

Thanks again I really appriciate it!
~~Chelsea


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Review #9, by sillysamii He Came Through Fire and Ash

2nd December 2009:
First of all, I just want to tell you I love the original idea. It's always cool to read spinoffs like this--especially such plausible ones.

Also, I think you did a good job with description throughout the story.

Plus, during the beginning and the very end of the story, I liked the italisizing of certain words to emphasize them.

One thing though, when you say "fight of flight response" in the begininning..the phrase is awkward and sort of befuddled me. Just try to clear that up--maybe choose to phrase it another way?

Only other thing, make sure you're sticking with one tense during thoughts. For example, in a paragraph you had "even though I was giving it a rest" then go to "I lean my head". I think you meant to stick with the present tense, so you in the first part, you could easily switch to am.

Overall, you did a pretty good job with a original idea :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for reviewing!

Oops, thanks for pointing out that confusion, I have to go back and striaghten that out!

And yes, I was trying to stick with present tense (which was harder than I thought!) I'll go through it all with a fine toothed comb and make sure I fix all of those tense errors.

Thanks again for taking the time to review this!!
~~Chelsea


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Review #10, by EnnaBellaPotter He Came Through Fire and Ash

29th November 2009:
Hey, it's EnnaBella from the forums with your requested review :)
I've never really thought about how Hermione and Krum met, but I think this was a great way of doing it!
I ove how you incorperated Krum's Russian accent (is it Russian? I don't even know - how awful is that??). You also made both him and Hermione very believable as characters. So awesome job with the characterization.
This was a good, solid, interesting one-shot! Keep up the great work!
~EnnaBellaPotter

Author's Response: Hey thanks for getting to this review so fast! Ya, supposedly Hermione and Krum met in the library but I thought that was so boring and I wanted to do something exciting! hehe

Thanks for the review!
~~Chelsea
PS Krum is Bulgarian :]


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Review #11, by kandekisses He Came Through Fire and Ash

29th November 2009:
Yay!! First review for this story! *dances*

That was very interesting. As I was reading the story I could see through Hermione's eyes and feel what she felt. I love your writing style! It was very smart of you to have them "first" meet at the Quidditch World Cup!

I was laughing when Victor was chasing her and she didn't stop. "Not a snowball's chance in hell" lol. But I like how you portrayed Victor to be the protecter, and showed that he was just as scared as her. It was so cute at the end when she ran to give him a hug and he blushed lol.

Now about the grammar! Nothing really stood out to me too much, but that could be because I was jut so intrigued =)

I'm glad you chose this challenge! You did a great job, I can so see this happening. To me it explains how they got to be so close so fast lol. &did I mention how I love that you put the title in at the end? Very nicely done!

Author's Response: hehe yay! first reviewer! I am glad you liked it! I had so much fun writing it too, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ya, with my one shots I have a habit of tying in the title at the end hehe. thanks so much for the wonderful review! *hugs*
~~Chelsea


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