Reading Reviews for Red
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by the_edge_of_love Red

24th November 2011:
This is so perfect that it's killing me!
Very beautiful, very well-written and well-thought!
You did an amazing job here!

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Review #2, by agingerrose Red

4th June 2011:
That's so sad it made me cry :( excellent story though

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Review #3, by jessica sarah Red

26th September 2010:
Stunning absolutely stunning.
I think I have read this about 15 times, but everytime I forget just how potent the emotion is and how hard it hits you.
Bravo, not many people can envoke such emotion in as few words.
This is breathtaking, love it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much

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Review #4, by a rollerball Red

31st August 2010:
seriously, this must be like a god given gift. you are amaze, like mind boggling. i wish i was you. xD

Author's Response: *ego inflates* Thank you hun!

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Review #5, by KRedden Red

19th January 2010:
This made me sad. It was very well written, well I think so at least. Hope you win/won the contest! :)

Author's Response: I don't know who won the contest... I can only assume it wasnt me =S

xE


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Review #6, by laura lollypop Red

14th January 2010:
i loved this, it was so sad ad heartbreaking. you captured it beautifully. 10/10.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad to hear it =)

xE


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Review #7, by Rachel Red

4th January 2010:
Hey there! It's OneSongGlory from the forums.

So, one word: Incredible.

Ok, ok. I'll give you more than that :]
It was absolutely beautiful. Damn AP English. For awhile all I could think was "Red! Red! Recurring Motif!" It's been almost half a year since I took that class and the instructor is still in my brain! Anyway, enough about that. I obviously enjoyed that there was a recurring motif. But on that topic, why don't you change the title to something else and let the motif speak for itself? I know that, as a writer, you want to give your audience everything. The audience is like your child and you want to impart on them everything you know. But just like with a child, sometimes it's better to just let the audience find it out on their own. It's much more exciting that way! Sure, some people won't get it, but it's better to be nine people's favorite thing than a hundred people's ninth favorite thing, right?
I sure hope all of that made sense.

Anyway, moving on from the motif...
I absolutely loved the imagery. Some lines that really stood out were: "the gaping wound beneath it bubbled, growing new skin to replace the cells scraped off her thighs by a curse aimed at her stomach." Ghastly, but lovely.

Also, I saw in an earlier review, you were a bit iffy about the "I'm sorry, Rose, so, so sorry" line, but I loved that it was so short and simple. Another note about the audience: we're usually a lot smarter than authors make us out to be. Not every emotion needs to be handed to us on a silver platter. So, that line was perfect. Don't you dare go changing it. My first idea was to shorten it and not even say the "I doubt she even heard me" but now I'm not sure. It's definitely something to consider though.

Ugh, damn Lucius! He makes me so angry, lol. Another thing I would think about is Draco. What part does he have in this? I mean, I don't think he was ever as evil as his father, but he always seemed to go along with everything he said. So just think about his reaction to everything that's going on. Does he even know what's going on? Maybe Scorpius is hoping he'll come through the door and tell Lucius to bugger off? Just some stuff to think about, because for me, that was the only thing missing.

Other than that, absolutely fantastic work. Keep writing and good luck with the contest!

If you need any other work reviewed, send it my way. Absolutely love your style.

Author's Response: Wow, that is an amazing review!

I haven't heard the child comparison, I've heard the brain/sponge theory, but that's a new one. I agree with you on the favourites thing; I prefer hearing one person tell me they love it to a few tell me it's good.

Hmmn, if you say the line's okay... If you're sure...

Draco? Slipped my mind. Involved in sexy blonde business?

Thanks for the offer, I have a new contest going through the mill so I might drop you that...

xE



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Review #8, by LucyLovegood Red

3rd January 2010:
SO TRAGIC, I WANT TO CRY. Seriously, that was incredibly beautiful. The immediacy was perfect and you had me glued from the very beginning. Really, really good stuff :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad to hear it.

xE


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Review #9, by Rose_Weasley123 Red

31st December 2009:
Hello! It's magicmuggle12 from the forums, here to review your entry. Since I'm doing this for the challenge, I'm going to focus mainly on how you coped with the lack of dialogue, and how much the one line did for your story. If you want a more in depth critique, feel free to PM me and I'll see what I can do ;).

I think you did really well with this challenge! This piece did not feel as if it was lacking in anything, despite having only one line of dialogue. You included some lovely description, both of surroudings and feelings. It was a very powerful piece. It was an interesting effect, putting the line of dialogue to the end of the piece, and one that I think worked quite well. It served to reinforce the theme that ran through the entire piece, and it helped the reader connect with Scorpius's emotions.

One thing I noticed that I especially loved was the repetition of 'red'. It tied the piece together really well, and it was an effective theme for the piece.

All in all, I think this was a very effective piece, and I think you've done very well with the challenge. Good luck!

-Becca

Author's Response: Hey there!

I've got to say, I loved your challenge. I depend on spoken words to outline a lot of my major fic, and the lack of speech presented a challenge in the literal sense.

Thanks for your encouragement, when do we hear back?

xE


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Review #10, by WitnesstoitAll Red

26th December 2009:
hello!! I'm here from the forums. so terribly sorry about the long wait. What with finals and christmas, I've been right busy of late. But fear not! Here I am...

This is a moving and dark one shot. I felt Scorpius' pain in watching Rose die. I really loved the idea of the plot -- a deatheater uprising to punish Scorpius' infidelity to his bloodline.

The description was beautiful in a horrific way. The language was subtle and succint and very suiting of the raw emotion it portrays. Along with this praise, I do have some constructive criticism for you.

Throughout the fic you speak from Scorpius' POV. In this manner, you correctly refer to Lucious as 'grandfather.' However, in one paragraph you refer to him by name. This is a bit jarring and seems inappropriate from the story's POV. It is an easy fic to make though. :)

Also, although I love the passage of time in the fic, the jump from the attack to several days after Rose's death is rather sudden. It could use a bit of a transition of some sort.

Other than those two tidbits, I think this was a brilliant one shot. It was moving and really made me think about the nature and extent of prejudices in general. That is a wonderful feat for an author -- to make your reader think outside the story.

Well done!
Melissa

Author's Response: Ah, don't apologize. Everyone has to have a life.

Thanks for the review -- I particularly enjoyed your comments on the beautific horror. Sometimes the lines blur, and I like to think there's something to be found in it, a message.

I called him Lucius as a retraction from the 'grandfather' symbol -- Scorpius literally pushes this man from his family, turning him into someone detached from his life.

Thanks again!

xE


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Review #11, by baletgir Red

11th December 2009:
aw that was so sad and very sweet at the same time. I really enjoyed it. I think of all things to have as your one line, you picked the perfect thing. It didn't feel as if anything was missing from the lack of dialogue. It was really well written and I hope you are recognized within the challenge for this!
:)BaletGir

Author's Response: Thank you! I intended it to be bittersweet, a sort of beautiful monster.

I struggled for a while over the last line -- especially as I could only have one. It took me longer to think up that line than it took to go through validation =/

Wish me luck!

xE


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Review #12, by SoUr_ApPlE Red

10th December 2009:
Wow, That was truly amazing. I nearly, very nearly cried, but my mum was in the room so, she would fuss!
really think you wll like win,
SoUr_ApPle xx

Author's Response: Haha! Family, hey? Sometimes I read a fic and start laughing -- that always gets weird looks.

Thanks for the review!

xE


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Review #13, by SoUr_ApPlE Red

10th December 2009:
Wow, That was truly amazing. I nearly, very nearly cried, but my mum was in the room so, she would fuss!
really think you wll like win,
SoUr_ApPle xx

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Review #14, by FutureAggie09 Red

7th December 2009:
Wow, that was so lovely. I actually cried at the end. That was extremely well-written; nice job!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

xE


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Review #15, by Burke Red

7th December 2009:
Hey, I really enjoyed reading this. It was written very well. The grammer seemed fine to me, nothing stood out as being wrong so on the most basic form, it's good there. I felt helpless reading it, and I believe that was your goal, and I must comment that you've written it well.

Despite this we don't really get to know either Scorpius or Rose, we do in small doses, Rose is a strong woman who tries to not show pain whilst Scorpius loves her but betrays his feelings of love to her by agreeing with Lucius' beliefs. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I just thought I would mention it :-)

I enjoyed this, the wounds, fighting, the emotions were all written very well. I enjoyed this piece and it was a pleasure to read.

I think the last line was sad and sweet, but am unsure about the 'so, so sorry' it seemed a little umm, i'm not sure, unrealistic? I realise that it would be ridiculously difficult to think what he would say, but it did work well.

Good luck with this competition, you've done a great job. Congratulations! :-)

Feel free to request with any other stories that you have, I really liked your style of writing. It was very emotive, descriptive and intriguing. It was great :-) Good work.

Author's Response: Why thank you Burke.

Most of my one shots fail to capture character in any way -- it's a fault I fail to consider.

I appreciate your comment on the 'so, so sorry'. It might sound a little strange, but I wasn't sure that the line was long enough.

Thank you for the quick and very deep review!

xE



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Review #16, by Burke Red

7th December 2009:
Hey, I really enjoyed reading this. It was written very well. The grammer seemed fine to me, nothing stood out as being wrong so on the most basic form, it's good there. I felt helpless reading it, and I believe that was your goal, and I must comment that you've written it well.

Despite this we don't really get to know either Scorpius or Rose, we do in small doses, Rose is a strong woman who tries to not show pain whilst Scorpius loves her but betrays his feelings of love to her by agreeing with Lucius' beliefs. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I just thought I would mention it :-)

I enjoyed this, the wounds, fighting, the emotions were all written very well. I enjoyed this piece and it was a pleasure to read.

I think the last line was sad and sweet, but am unsure about the 'so, so sorry' it seemed a little umm, i'm not sure, unrealistic? I realise that it would be ridiculously difficult to think what he would say, but it did work well.

Good luck with this competition, you've done a great job. Congratulations! :-)

Feel free to request with any other stories that you have, I really liked your style of writing. It was very emotive, descriptive and intriguing. It was great :-) Good work.

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Review #17, by HogwartsMafia Red

6th December 2009:
So far it's a nice start. Very dramatic how it starts off with a violent yet sad description of the moment. I liked how you seem to slowly pour into details. Though since I usually don't read Post Hogwarts fics it's kind of hard to care about the character in a whole. I understand since this is a one shot that you don't get much time. My only complaint is that I wish this was a longer story and had more moments with the characters.

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Review #18, by Estelle Black Red

4th December 2009:
OH MY GOD, you did it, you made me cry, my god this story is amazing, the start was awesome, well to be honest the whole story was amamazing.
The ending was what got me the most that pushed me over the edge, but this story is beautiful everything about it. Oh i don't know what else to say. other than what I have said above.
Thanks for requesting this to me it is amazing and I am glad I read it.
Estelle XOX

Author's Response: Thank you!
I'm very glad to hear it. Wish me luck!
xE


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Review #19, by propertyoftheHBP Red

21st November 2009:
Oh, my God, that was so well written! Lucius is a complete monster in this, and Scorpius is heartbreaking.
Very good job!

Author's Response: Thank you! Fingers crossed I win =)

xE


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Review #20, by Writrchick Red

5th November 2009:
I like it. Tis very sad, but I like it. And I wish you all the luck I don't wish upon myself, as I am entering the same contest. ;) But I think you wrote a great story.

Author's Response: Thank you! I wish you luck too! =)
xE


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Review #21, by BellBell Red

4th November 2009:
Oh my gosh!
she's dead?
no! why?
just... uh.
hang on a sec, I'm just going to kill Lucius...
that f* bastard!
that's so unfair!

but you've written it so gorgeous!
it's so full of Scorpius' helpless attempts to help Rose, his hate for his grandfather and his wish to die instead of her!
uh... I think I'm going to cry now xD
greets
BellBell

Author's Response: Haha! Go Bell, kill Lucius!

Thank you so much! Wish me luck!
xE


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Review #22, by Paloma Patil Red

4th November 2009:
This is poignant and heartbreaking. Excellent - good luck with the contest!

Paloma

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was hoping it didn't sound too fake =)

xE


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