Reading Reviews for Ache
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rosius12345 Ache

14th November 2011:
Aw! I have a question though, does he really love Dom more than Rose? -__- I feel lost.

Anyway I Loved it! can you continue it? I would LOVE it if you did! :)

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Review #2, by ScarlettANDJames Ache

12th June 2010:
i read ur story and i think it is very well written, but what really catchs me was the banner and the model which acts as dom and i really need to know who she is cause i need her for my own ff so please give me a name..

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Review #3, by Gutterflower Ache

27th April 2010:
Sorry I haven't signed in, I'm in a bit of a hurry and I wanted to review your story quickly. Because it's awesome.

I love this. I love the quote you used, the idea, the way its written. This is my favourite line, well, bit of a line:

"What was meant to save us eventually was our ruin..."

Amazing. Really.


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Review #4, by shadowycorner Ache

11th April 2010:
I know I'm like...six months late with this review, and I'm horribly sorry. :( I read it a while ago and really liked it, but I didn't know how to review since I haven't done it in a while.

Anyway, I really liked this piece. Your writing is simplistic and exquisite. the moment doesn't drag on and Dominique's emotions are clear and understandable. I only thought the moment with James was unnecessary, it didn't add anything to it for me, but I don't mind it. :) I mean, it didn't even hurt the story in any way.

The 'introduction' of Dom and Scorp was rather painful to read. Only when I imagine how Dominique must've felt. Poor girl. And the ending surprised me even more so, I didn't expect that. It really made me go, 'MEN!' :D But I liked the twist of her reaction. the quote from Courtney is brilliant and I love how you used it. Simply put, great job on this.

[i]It would be Dominique and Scorpius, without a Rose in sight.[/i] This is my favorite line. So wonderful and poetic.

xoxo Liz

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Review #5, by Cherry Bear Ache

13th November 2009:
This is one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever read. Rose and Scorpius is such a popular couple that not a lot of people offer the interesting perspective that you provide here. It really makes me feel sympathy for Dominique, and a horrible dislike for Scorpius. That's such a selfish way of using someone else's emotions that it makes me want to cry; I would feel horrible if something like that ever happened to me.

My favorite thing about this story is your poignant portrayal of Dominique's vulnerability. Her inability to stop watching him, her clear depression, and her admittance that nothing could stop her from meeting up with Scorpius - all of it is so heart-breaking. What I like best is how realistic Dominique's reaction to the note is; she's bitterly aware that she will go no matter what, that she can't stop herself. I think that, too often, people straddle the line between going after what they want and going after what they should want.

My favorite part about the story is the last line; it wraps up the entire piece wonderfully. I think it's the most powerful part of the story, because it manages to show both her resentment and her resignation. This is truly a wonderful one-shot.

The only critique I can provide is that some things in the story were a bit unclear. In the line, "Pulling me onto his lap, his grin did not falter. I tried to focus my attentions on him, but my gaze slid unconsciously back onto his form", it's a little confusing trying to figure out which personal pronoun refers to James and which refers to Scorpius. You don't even necessarily have to add names; even an italicized form of "his" in "his form" would make Dominique's meaning clear.

Another thing that I thought was a little confusing was whether or not Rose knew about Scorpius and Dominique. Rose introduces them to each other, and Dominique expresses her distress over the blatant dismissal of her, but, then, after the confrontation, there's the line: "Git," James spat, back beside me, his voice venomous. "Mind you, Rose wasn't much better, treating you two like strangers, what in Merlin's name does she think she's playing at - ?"

I understand James' protectiveness of Dominique, but I didn't quite understand why he didn't think Rose wasn't any better than Scorpius. To me, it seemed like he was saying that Rose knew about Dominique and Scorpius and just didn't want to say anything in order to avoid awkwardness. If not, I'm unsure what James thought Rose was "playing at".

Otherwise, I really enjoyed this piece. Sorry for this long review, and thank you for posting such a touching insight into Dominique's mind! :)

Cherry Bear

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for such an amazing review! You have no idea how much I appreciate the time and effort put into this, thank you so much!!

I am really glad you liked it, first off. It's never very fun being in a situation like Dominique's, so I'm glad I was able to convey her pain through this :)

Thank you! Dominique is such a vulnerable character in my head - I always seem to portray her in that sort of light. But I'm so flattered that you find her reaction realistic - you're right, people do seem to idealise people in situations like this. Sometimes the moral high-ground is a little too selfless, and that is what I tried to show here. Thank you!

I'm really glad you liked the last line - I love that Courtney Love quote and when I heard it the other day, I was so inspired. It's quite powerful.

Thank you so much for pointing that out! Yes, I can see how that would be confusing - I'll go through right now and fix it up. Italics is a great idea, thank you!

As for Rose knowing/not knowing, in my head they all went to Hogwarts together - so naturally they would know each other. I don't think I ever actually mentioned that in the story though - haha, I think I assumed everyone would read minds :) But yes, I can definitely see how they would seem, so I think I'll add another piece of dialogue to communicate that. Thank you so much for mentioning it!

I'm so incredibly glad you liked the story - your review was completely amazing and wonderful and thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful one. You have no idea how happy I was to see this, thank you so much!!

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Review #6, by inthedeadofday Ache

13th November 2009:
That story was sad, but in a good way... If that makes any sense. Though I am a complete supporter of the Rose/Scorpius relationship, I still feel bad for Dom... oh well, I liked it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm a Rose/Scorpius fan, though I am a little in love with Dominique and the Dominique/Teddy ship. I thought mixing it up would be a nice change :)

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Review #7, by Fireball Nymph Ache

3rd November 2009:
This was a really good one shot. I think it really shows the other girls perspective, not just the one who has the guy, because that's how most stories are. Dom's always angry in your stories, why is that? :D I mean, it's sorta laughable, but I'd just like to know. I really like the title too. Aweosme!

Author's Response: Haha, she is, isn't she? The Dom in my head is just a big ball of angst, so that is probably it :P Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #8, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Ache

2nd November 2009:

I am so, so, SO glad that your writer's block MAY (just so I don't jinx it) be fading away. I know you don't think this is too great but I would be tempted to STRONGLY disagree. Dom/Scorpius is far too underwritten but the ones I have read are by brilliant authors (yes, you included) and I think it should stay so. Popularity kills ships.

Anyway, I thought it was adorable. Really adorable in a 'this is chipping bits off my heart' kind of way. I love your Dominique here. I think she's really similar to the Dominique from 'Halo' but yet completely different as well. That makes no sense but I'm a bit distracted :P

I love your James. He's just perfect...nothing to do with my love of most James IIs at all.
Scorpius made me angry. Vile, vile git. Rose is also mightily inconsiderate though, with the 'not quite out of earshot' bit. Grr. My hatred of that ship is showing itself again.
Dom/Scorpius all the way.

In terms of writing, I think the dialogue is BRILLIANT (of course). I don't think it needs a great deal of description. The succinctness of it helps with the heartbreaking...ness of it all. It's fantastic. Really.
That last line is WONDERFUL. Seriously. Kind of chilling and gives that extra dimension to Dom - she knows her own weakness, and that comes across really well.

I wish I could give a review that is as 'profound' as some of yours but you are instead left with the basics, as usual :P
Wonderful, Georgia ♥

Author's Response: RACHEL ♥

Writer's Block seems to be at bay, though only for one-shots it seems - cannot bring myself to update anything. I am really glad you enjoyed it, lovely! You're right, I'm not too sure about it but the ship makes up for it, yes? :D

Brilliant? Hush with your flattery.

Haha, it was kind of sad to write - I wanted to give it a happy ending, but I couldn't without being completely cliché :( And Dominique here...I definitely agree with you, she is very similar to "Halo" Dominique in that she is very insecure and she tries to wear a mask to cover it. I rather "Monster" Dominique in a lot of ways, because she is very raw, but this worked better for the story :)
[/inane rambling]

James - I won't lie - is completely adorable. I am incapable of writing him without making him a sweetheart.
Scorpius is a git! I rather disliked him, he was a bit weak.
...I like Rose/Scorpius - I'm not going to deny it :P Though I did warm to this after a while! DON'T HATE ME.

I'm really glad you liked the dialogue - I was a bit worried some bits seemed forced, but thank you for the reassurance :D The description I feel is lacking a little but I can't seem to write much without sounding like a complete twit.

I'm glad you liked the last line! It was the first thing I wrote for this :D

If by 'profound' you mean 'completely ponce-y', then yes, you are not :P But really Rachelle, this review was lovely. I loved it, your reviews always make me smile! Thank you for taking the time to read my scribbles :)

Thank you ♥

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Review #9, by AliceBlack Ache

2nd November 2009:
Oh, this was rather sad. Poor Dominique, she seems to have been left with nothing while goes and hooks up with her cousin. Not really fair.
However I was abit comfused by the ending, is she going to meet him or not?
Anyway, it was really good

Author's Response: Spot on - Dominique got the short end of the stick, indeed. But, c'est la vie - Dominique needs to learn to walk on her own two feet. As for the ending, she was going to meet him, despite her resentment. Thank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

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Review #10, by live_laugh_LOVE Ache

2nd November 2009:
omg georgie!! what a lovely story!! im ACHING (hehe im so funny, right?) to know if she ends up going! ^_^ its great, there just one thing- “Dominique?” The soft voice broke my train of thought, and I was startled back into the present. “

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Ceren! I answered the rest of the missing review in the PM, so all I can really say is thank you again ^_^

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Review #11, by Metamorph Ache

1st November 2009:
Oh! Oh! Yay! Jellyman! Very Successful! Yes!

This was awesome. It was quite deep, showing how she felt without really coming out and saying it. I actually felt her pain.

Cay you say AWKWARD when they meet? Rose doesn't know a thing, and James is all protective.

I liked it. It was very nicely executed.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am so glad you enjoyed it, it really means a lot!

Deep? You flatter me :P And yes! AWKWARD! Rose really knows how to show people a good time, huh? ;D

Thank you so much for reading. It really means the world to have such wonderful readers. ♥

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Review #12, by redherring Ache

1st November 2009:
Ahh, it's been far too long since I've read anything of yours! My life has been so empty without your writing xD

And it was totally brilliant! I LOVED it. Your Dom was amazing, and I really felt for her, poor thing :( I adored James as well, he was just so lovely :D I also really liked your portrayal of Dom and Scorp's relationship.

I did spot the one typo, though:
It was he who wanted secrecy - do I complied - I'm guessing the 'do' should be 'so'? x)

Anyway, I really enjoyed it! Definitely going on the favourites list :D

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I have been suffering major writer's block, so it was lovely being able to write this, despite lack of originality :P

I am so glad you enjoyed it! Dominique is my muse, I am beginning to think - all I seem to write is about her! And James is always a darling to write - I kind of want to marry him :)

Thank you for pointing that out, I have fixed it up! It meant to say "to which"...I have no idea where "do" came from :P

Thank you so much for such a wonderful review - it really mean the world to see such positive things :D


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