Reading Reviews for Close To Crazy
  
55 Reviews Found

Review #1, by firefawn Close To Crazy

13th July 2011:
Words do not describe how humorous this fanfiction one shot was! Even the summary is awesome! Particularly this part: (Why my parents can’t see sense and fake our deaths so we don’t have to spend another Christmas with them ever again, I don’t know!)

Author's Response: Lol, thankyou so much for the lovely review - I'm so happy that you found it funny. Glad you liked it and I really appreciate you taking out the time to read and review. Thanks x
-Katie-


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Review #2, by kirstenalanna Close To Crazy

30th March 2011:
hello there. kirstenalanna from the forums!

characterization:
I think your characterization of Rose is hilarious...realy I do. However, all the other characters only come out as blurs because you go through them so fast. I feel if you took your time, and showed us qualities of each character instead of tasting the story would be less frantic and more controlled and easier to read.

Plot:
it's a cute idea. learning the true meaning of christmas and all that...but I don't know I had a hard time sinking into it. Partly due to the rapid pace, and then super slow pace and then how it jumped around a bit. I think you should add in when arthur dies in the beginning of the story. I felt like that was just thrown out there. I just assumed that arthur was present.but then he wasn't. confusing.

flow:
Erggg... the flow was a bit of an issue. You have several unnecessary commas peppered throughout the story, which really chops up the flow. Also, your pace is all over the place. The story starts off with a fast pace then it halts and goes really slow, then you jump to a different scenes, then goes fast again then stops and goes slow. I'd suggest that you read through it and highlight the sections that you stumbled over. Generally, those are the areas or spots in which readers with either stop reading and go to a different story, or skip ahead.

It might be worth your while to get a beta to help fix some grammar/comma issues as well as the pace.

Dialogue:
there were a few mistakes with punctuation around the dialogue. I also noticed a few " that weren't neccessary and didn't make sense...as in there wasn't a dialogue there.



hope this helped!
kirstenalanna

Author's Response: This helped A LOT!

Believe me, I understand exactly what you mean about Rose's family and the pace and the grammar, and I will definitely work on improving all of those factors when I do finally get round to editing this. I appreciate your honesty and the amount of thought that you have put into this review.
Thankyou so much.
-Katie-


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Review #3, by ariellem Close To Crazy

26th December 2010:
Aw I loved this! It was sweet and humorous at the same time which is hard to come by. I loved the list of reasons why Slytherin was unpopular classic! Anyway I'm having my snowman minion give you a basket of cookies and I'm going to see about reading the rest of your stories!

Author's Response: Aw, thankyou for the lovely compliments and the delicious cookies. Your review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside - glad you enjoyed the story.
-Katie-


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Review #4, by kaileena_sands Close To Crazy

26th December 2010:
D'aww... that was so sweet. And at some parts I think I was going to die of laughter. Rosie - the Grinch who hated Christmas. :DDD

That was the perfect Christmas one-shot! In so few words, you described wonderfully the Potter-Weasley clan. And Rosie is awesome - she is a firecracker! I am glad that she learned to appreciate Christmas more, I liked the moral of it all. :))

Anyways, it truly was fun and sweet to read! It returned my Christmas-y mood which is already starting to go away. Brilliant read!

Happy holidays,
Harley

Author's Response: I'm glad that you loved Rose and the Potter-Weasley clan. Of course, this story needs a LOT of editing - but to hear that you loved it despite all of it's flaws is just amazing for me. Thankyou for taking the time out to read and review this; I really appreciate it! Hope you had a lovely Christmas!
-Katie-


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Review #5, by justonemorefic Close To Crazy

23rd November 2010:
AHAHA, I LOVE how you described the family. It's so wonderfully voiced and complaining and I can *hear* the rapid-fire snideness in her tone. "You just have to blow up a turkey!" You've got Rose down as perfectly for I-can't-believe-I'm-related-to-these-people.

"full on psychopath aunt mode", "beaver boyfriend", WAIT WAIT, THIS: "Lily gasps, pointing at a wet stain on the floor that we all noticed about twenty seconds ago" Your snarky descriptions are love. I can't even hate these people because their flaws are so hilariously exaggerated.

Two nitpicks: to me, the hospital scenes gave a bit of a mood whiplash from the capslocking crazy to the sad Granddad-is-dead (he's my favorite, though ;_;) + moral of the story. Also, at times, be a bit more brief with the complaints (as another reviewer said, Rose gets a bit rambly.) and be a little more subtle with the heavier emotions. That's where the line between soppy and not is. I do love the cautious return to snark at the end!

All in all, a very entertaining read :D

Author's Response: Ha lol, I'm glad that you loved the element of humor in it. Rose was a lot of fun to write, I'm so happy she came across as humerous.
I usually find that the emotional element in this story tends to be hit or miss with a lot of people. I'm sorry that you found it to be out of place, perhaps I'll edit it and have more of a lead up to the memory part of the chapter.
Thankyou for the lovely review, it really made me smile.
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #6, by Ginny45 Close To Crazy

20th November 2010:
Hey! RandomRed here with your review.
Aaah Sarcasam, the best thing since sliced bread. I love sarcastic characters, I think it because I have them same sort of sense of humour.

I think the idea for the story is brilliant. Not something I have seen before which is weird because you would think more people would twig onto it.

I think you really achieved the humour aspect of this story. Some parts had me laughing out loud.

You also make Rose accessable to the reader because anyone with a bigish to large family knows exactly how hectic Christmas is. It is not fun. :( I think you write the constant mental situations well.

The only thing I can really fault you on doesn't have anything to do with your writing. It is the huge gaps between each paragraph. It is quite distraction

Arthur's death is touching. Just that whole scene with the memory and everything. Sorry I couldn't quite get the word, I was going for.

This story is just made by Rose. Her opinons on everything just make me laugh. Ok I think I will stop, I could go on for longer but it is too late for me to think straight for any longer.

Great Story :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx

Author's Response: Aw, thankyou, I'm so happy that you liked this story! I'm so happy the sarcasm came across, that's the one thing that I like about the story myself.
I'm THRILLED that you loved the idea for the story, I was slightly unsure about adding the memory part, but your review has really given me more confidence in it.
As for the paragraphs, I totally get what you mean, will edit those straight away, i realise they can be quite the distraction,
Thankyou for your AMAZING review, it made my day!
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #7, by messy_little_raindrops Close To Crazy

17th November 2010:
I adore this story. you did a very nice job writing it and the Ros was so funny.

Author's Response: Hmm, would messy little raindrops perhaps be the name of Cheryl Cole's new album by any chance? No? Well maybe I'm just looking at insignificant things when really I should be concentrating on your lovely review! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this, and I'm glad you found Rose funny, it was the exact kind of effect I was aiming to give off whilst writing this.
Thanks for taking the time to read and review, it's much appreciated.
Katie
x


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Review #8, by LilyFire Close To Crazy

28th August 2010:
Aww, such a cute story. I can so relate to her: I have a huge family. But I like the way you had her realize family is important (even if it was sad,) and I love the end. It was so sweet, she finally realized that having a family, even one as big as hers, was a good thing. Especially for the new baby. (On a side note, I like how you have Teddy give her his moms name as a middle name(:)
~LilyFire

Author's Response: Hi,
Thankyou for the lovely review, I'm glad that you liked this story. To be honest I think this could do with some serious editing, but i'm glad there was things in there that you really liked, it's encouraging to hear.
Thanks again x
Katie


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Review #9, by krissyanne426 Close To Crazy

7th June 2010:
I really liked this.
I love a sarcastic Rose, so though I'm glad that she's realized the importance of her family, I do hope that she doesn't lose that aspect of herself.
But it was really cute.
Good job!
Kristen=]

Author's Response: Hi Kristen

Yeah, a sarcastic Rose is my favourite version of her; she just contrasts so much to all of the other next generation characters don't you think? I really wanted to slide that moral in there so she didn't live too mch up to her cliche; I was aiming for something original and different and I'm glad that you sensed that.
Thankyou for the lovely comments and the lovely review.

Katie x


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Review #10, by nisalurve Close To Crazy

5th June 2010:
Hi, this is WittleAna, here with your review! (:

First things first. You asked me to look at characterization, and I think you've got that down pat. I mean, it's definitely not how I expected Rose to be, but I like how you wrote her. She has Hermione's wit and Ron's sarcasm, two things you don't normally see together in next generation fics about Rose. I like her informal voice, it's nice to read something that's not covered with fifty trillion hard to define adjectives.

On the other hand, I think it would do you good to invest in a beta. The story itself is lovely, but there are a few spacing, grammar, spelling, and punctuation issues that could be worked out. I only caught a few, but I'll post them here anyway.

For example -- "He was short” James Suggests.
The 's' in suggests should really be lowercase, and I've found that you've made several words uppercase that don't have to be. A comma after short wouldn't hurt either.

--“Well” I say in my defence “Everyone knows about the chamber of secrets”

Add a comma after well and a period after secrets and you're good. (:

All in all, it was a great read for me. Sometimes the conversations were a little confusing, because I couldn't tell who was saying what, but that could just be your writing style. Keep up the good work. 8/10

Author's Response: Yes, I'm definitley looking at getting a beta for this story. Before I do however, I need to go through the story and edit parts that I don't like. Thankyou for pointing those additional errors out, I'll definitley pay a bit more attention to the dialogue in this story.
Again, I really appreciate the time and effort you've put into this review, it's really helpful
Thankyou
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #11, by confusedlover Close To Crazy

3rd June 2010:
very lovely.

i thought this was a marvelous idea for a story. very, very interesting. it's nice to take a look inside the era, seeing as i don't read it too often.

this flowed really really well, just something i thought i should point out. your words created a vivid picture for my imagination; something i always enjoy when reading fanfiction. great work on that!

i really don't think there's much to improve with this story. once you take care of the grammar mistakes (which i know you are already aware of :P) this should be a nearly flawless! the only thing i can really think of is to make sure you get all of your thoughts out there. in places it seems like you want to move on to the next part or idea too quickly and although it's only a little here and there it's something to think about.

as for the characterization, i thought you did a pretty good job of giving them enough structure for a one-shot but not enough to make things too boring. the only thing i can really add here is that toward the beginning i found things to be just a little confusing as to who was talking and why they were saying what they were. i could just be me, but i found that a little unclear.

overall, i thought this was a fantastic story and thought you did a wonderful job with a new, exciting, and original idea. congrats and coming up with something i have never seen before! that's always fun to hear!! you certainly have a lot of potential as a writer and i hope to see more from you as you grow. feel free to request again in my review thread any time you wish. keep up the amazing work and have an awesome day!

Author's Response: Hi there
You have no idea how much this review has pleased me, what a lovely thing to wake up to.
I'm really happy that you liked everything, and I'll do my best to correct the dialogue flaw that you pointed out.
Thanks again :D
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #12, by whacked Close To Crazy

3rd June 2010:
aw, that was really sweet! That was a really nice message in there, which isn't often seen.

There a number of typos in there, and you didn't end dialogue with punctuation, so I suggest going over that and editing it to make it cleaner and easier to read.

But I really liked the plot of this piece. Rose was really well set up, and her family dynamic was clear to understand. The dialogue was also quite good, because it sent across the frantic energy and chaos that is a Weasley Christmas. And that memory scene was a really nice take on the woman in Arthur's ward. So overall, a really good effort, and I rather enjoyed that.

Author's Response: Oh hi, wow, thanks for the review, it was so unexpected.
Ah yes, the dreaded typos, I've not had time recently to go over them, but they're definitley at the top of my edit list for whenever I do eventually get around to tidying this story up.
This was originally set up for a challenge all about morals and messages, but the maker of that challenge never announced the winner, so it kind of makes the point to the fic pointless. I'm really glad that you liked ithe message though, I was a little bit unsure of it at first.
Thankyou for the lovely review, and I'll defiitley look at those typos.
Katie


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Review #13, by hermioneg566 Close To Crazy

3rd June 2010:
hello! You asked me to review your story so here I am! Since you didn't want me to go into spelling and grammer I'll just give you my opinion on your story and the charcters like you asked. I really, really liked it! I thought that the plot was quite original and the characterisation was done really well. At first I wasn't sure what to expect of Rose because she seemed like a hard hearted sort of person at the beginning. But I loved the fact that there was the message : ' Be thankful for what you've got' and 'Love your family' in there. I think that you ended the story well and you'd described the situations quite well. The only thing that I think I would like to see more of would be a bit more describing of Rose's surroundings but that's me for you. I like stories that have alot of discription in them. Apart from that I don't think that there's really anything else I can add to this review. I think that you did a brillant job on this story! Thanks for asking me to read it!
Grace xx (hermioneg566)

Author's Response: Hi Grace
I'm so happy that you liked the storyline and the ending, that means a lot.
Thankyou for suggesting to add more desciption, no one else has given me that CC for this story so it's good to hear that there are things that I can do to improve this.
Honestly, thankyou for your help, I can't wait to edit this now.
Thanks again!
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #14, by music_is_inside_of_me Close To Crazy

2nd June 2010:
Hey its musiclover :)

This story was so funny! I laughed out loud a couple times and the person next to me kept looking at me like I was crazy...

Things to improve on:

-There are some things that seem out of place, like you could have said Arthur died earlier on in the story, that could help it flow eaislier
-The only other thing is to make it look more 'presentable'. The spacing was a bit off in some parts and it was a little hard to tell who was speaking at some parts but it didn't interfer with the storyline

I liked the idea of this stoy and it was really entertaining! I love how you made Rose so...un-cliche... You did a great job writing her and this story :)

Author's Response: Hi there
Thankyou for taking the time to read and review this story, I really appreciate it.
I'm so so happy that you don't think Rose was cliche, that was a big worry for me whilst writing this.
The spacing has never been mentioned before, but I'll definitley take that into consideration in the future.
-You're not the first to metion the bad timing for mentioning Arthur's death, I see where I've gone wrong there, I'll definitley be editin that in the future.
Thankyou so much for your compliments and CC, it was so helpful.
Katie (JaneTwilight)


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Review #15, by doratonks14 Close To Crazy

1st June 2010:
Hey there, here from the forums with your requested review! :)

So first, I'm a huge Rose fan. :D Just had to put that out there, cause I do love Rose lots. And she was so funny in this. I can understand her hatred of Christmas - I have a huge family too, so holidays are always bad, but Christmas is particularly bad for me because it actually *is* my birthday too. :P So it always gets lost in the festivities. But enough about me, this is your story, and though I could ramble pointlessly forever, I don't think you'd like that.

Characterization, I thought this was really well done. Rose was funny - I laughed out loud at her list of reasons why she hates Dom and then this line: "Relax Rose, like mum always said; joy does not come from looks, power and financial gain or inheritance, it comes from the pursuit of attainable goals (AKA getting one over on Dom). " had me cracking up so much. Dunno why, just so honest and great. I really liked your characterization of Rose, and Lily was great too. Her calling James frog spawn cracked me up too.

Things to improve on - well honestly, the only thing I can think of would be to make it more clear who is speaking sometimes, especially at the beginning, right when they get to the family gathering. I was lost there for a while, and had to go back and reread the dialogue section a couple of times before I got it. But its also early in the morning, and I'm dangerously low on coffee, so maybe I'm just not thinking all that clearly. The only other thing I can think of improving on might be the whole part with the pensieve where she got the gift. It just seems sort of sudden - maybe lead up to it a little more. I dunno, like I said, I need some more coffee.

Overall, this was really funny and really great and I really enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by my review thread, please feel free to drop by again anytime! :)

Author's Response: Hi :D
Oh wow, your birthday is on Christmas? You must get loads of presents.
I'm glad that you like Rose's characterization. She was so hard to write, so it's nice to see that my work payed off.
I totally get what you mean about it being difficult to understand what the characters are saying sometimes, I'll definitley look into changing that when I get around to editing this.
Thankyou for the review and the advice, I'll definitley take it into account.
Jane_Volturi


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Review #16, by TheLittleChickling Close To Crazy

31st May 2010:
This was such a cute little one shot, I never thought Rose could be so miserable.
There were a few mistakes in tere.
good story.

Author's Response: Hi
Thanls for your very kind review.
Hmm, I wouldn't say that miserable would be the right word to use for Rose, perhaps Pessimistic?
Thanks though, I'm glad that you liked my story.


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Review #17, by kassandra466 Close To Crazy

30th May 2010:
omg!! that was certinly one crazy christmas

Author's Response: Hi Kassandra
Ha ha, yes, definitley one crazty christmas lol. Thanks for your review hun.
Jane_Volturi


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Review #18, by MrsKatieGrint Close To Crazy

29th May 2010:
Wow. What a wonderful one-shot. This was simply fantastic! The message was amazing and all the little details is what made it perfect! It was beautifully written and flawlessly gorgeous itself. The ending was cute and I adored how easily the characters semmed to interact. You did a wonderful job on getting the message of the story out and I think it was just stunning!

Review? Check! Added to favorites? All ready done. :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie
Thanks for the lovely review, it was fun to read.
And again, thankyou for the awesome challenge, i had so much fun with it.
Jane_Volturi
x


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Review #19, by bedella Close To Crazy

23rd May 2010:
Helllooo deary! It's Ella here with requested review. Sorry for the delay (it wasn't intended).

Where do I start? I adore this story. I curse the name of one-shots, and I adore this story! You did just about everything in the name of good taste- making Rose a feisty beast, the randomness, but most of all, the heart-warming message at the end. You thought your shiz through, and I like to see that in a story. A lot.

Now, at the beginning. Rose hates Christmas. It kind of shocked me, but it didn't. This is Rose we are talking about here, and although she is OC, everyone writes her to be rebellious. But it was surprising because everyone likes Weasley christmases, they are the epitome of perfect-barbie-dreamhouse-holiday-family-fun. Well, at least everyone else likes them :)

Here is one of my favourite lines:

"'If I hear that word one more time I’m going to elbow somebody in the face...'"

Heh.

One thing I noticed as I read this is that Rose rambles a lot. It is probably because of the comma positions, but I tried reading the paragraph "Allow me to..." aloud, and I was gasping for air. It's not necessarily a grammar rule though, I just thought you should no because readers are more likely to skip over it and miss out on important details. (I liked the affect of it though; it brought Rose's character out a little? Perhaps?)

OMG, I fell in love with the "Reasons to hate Dom List". Completely awesome and uber cool. The List is one of the reasons why I'm adding the story to my favourites, the other reasons to be listed in a few seconds.

Was it Lily who was singing? Whoever it was, it was hilarious. At first, I thought she was saying 'Last Christmas, I love yo Mama,' but then it hit me she was singing a Christmas song. And the inhaler bit? Brilliant. More critique? We should have already known Victoire was pregnant, one doesn't get excited if she's going into labor and they just figured it out.

The ending was inspring. I love it how Arthur was "behind the veil" yet still able to help Rose out. She was able to see her family in their younger years, oh hallelujah! That was perhaps one of the most touching moments I have seen in ANY fanfiction...I'm definitely adding it to the list.

I'm sorry if I was random, but I am simply ecstatic! You have an awesome story here and no one should tell you otherwise! I'm adding this to my favourites and hope you write more soon. Feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Hi Ella
Oh my gosh, I love you, this review totally made my day!
Lol, I'm glad you like Rose's 'feisty' characterization. I took a risk with her personality and view on the world and it looks like it payed off.
Hah, yes, that's one of my favourite lines too, though looking back, how would you elbow someone in the face lol?
Ah, yes, the dreaded comma, possibly my worst enemy when it comes to writing strangely enough. It's a bad habit I've gotten into; making sentences about four lines long with no breaks in between, I can see why you'd be out of breath.
Yes, it was Lily who was singing, bless her, she was kind of based on my own cousin strangely enough, but I couldn't resist, the two simply have too much in common.
Wow, inspiring? I'm glad that you liked the ending so much.
Wow, thankyou for favouriting it, and I'm so happy by your response. This review definitley made my day, I'm so happy right now!
Thankyou so much!
Jane_Volturi
x
PS: I love your username.


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Review #20, by Pen2Paper Close To Crazy

22nd May 2010:
Hey Katie! :)
This was AMAZING! oh my God, I was laughing so hard when Vic's water broke! LOL This was so brilliantly written and I love reading Rose's Pov, she seems a nice mix of Hermione and Ron! Very nicely done. Albus was sweet and the scene from the pensieve was brilliant too! It was just perfect!
10/10 Lovely!

Author's Response: Hi Cali
Thankyou so much for taking the time to read and review my story, I really appreciate it.
This lovely review has defifintley made my day, I'm so glad that you liked it.
I really did try to keep in mind the fact that she was Hermione and Ron's daughter. Her lack of optimism comes from her father, and her sarcasm (the highest form of intelligence by the way) comes from her mother, despite the fact that her mother is very rarely sarcastic.
I'm also glad that youl liked Albus, he's always been one of my favourite Next-Generation characters.
Thankyou so much for the lovely review.
Katie


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Review #21, by Ronsgirl29 Close To Crazy

20th May 2010:
Ronsgirl29 from the forums with your review!

Let me start off with saying I adored your story. It was very entertaining and it had a nice message at the end. I liked your characterization of Rose, she was funny, had attidude, and it was enjoyable to read about her. As for what else I'd like to see in there, I'd say add a little more to the hospital scenes. The ending feels slightly rushed, and I think you could probably add a little more to it.

I loved loved loved the part when her water broke. James screaming, someone asking for their inhaler, the sining, hahah it all made me crack up!

I also liked how you had Rose take a negative view on christmas at the beginning. I've read so many fics were its the perfect Weasley/Potter christmas and everyone is happy and loves one another. In your story you made things interesting, and eventually she learned to apperciate her big family which is good, because stories where everything is bad is almost as cliche as when everything is perfect.

Your story had a wonderful balance of both good and bad, so I tip my hat to you! (well if I had a hat on I would)

10/10, keep up the great writing (:

Author's Response: Oh, this review honestly made my day, I haven't got such wonderful feedback in a while so it was a really nice change.
I'm so happy that it made you laugh. Whilst writing this I struggled with the humor, so I'm really glad that it made you laugh.
I'm also really happy that you liked Rose's characterization, I had so much fun writing things from her point of view.
Thankyou so much for this review and wow, 10/10.
I'm so happy, thankyou so much!
Jane_Volturi


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Review #22, by patchworkscribbles Close To Crazy

13th May 2010:
When Victoire's waters broke, the following lines were side-splittingly hilarious. Seriously, it was so funny. I had tears in my eyes! The memory was so sweet, it was incredibly heartfelt. It seemed a little out-of-place, but as a whole the fic flowed incredibly well.

And Olivia is a lovely name :D

Author's Response: Hi, lol, I had a lot of fun writing about Victoire's waters breaking, I'm glad that you liked it.
Yep, I love the name Olivia too, I think it's such a nice name.
Thankyou so much for your lovely review, I really appreciate it.
Jane_Volturi


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Review #23, by Miriel Close To Crazy

13th May 2010:
Hey!


Miriel here to leave you a review:)

I liked this story a lot! Reall, you have great ideas in here and you wrote it very well.

I think the most important in this story is the message behind it. Rose, who's annoyed by her huge expanded family realizes that she's very lucky to have all those relatives. You pointed out that fact , but at the same time showed the problems coming with such a situation.

However, I noticed that you paint everything rather black and white. Rose's thoughts don't reveal any positive aspects of having such a large family. I understand that you wrote it that way to increase the effect of Arthur's memories, but I think it's a bit unrealistic. Rose had beautiful moments with her family for sure and I don't think that she would forget them completely. You should mention that somewhere.

Same goes for Dom, surely she isn't that horrible?

I think it some positive vibes from Rose would complete the picture of the Weasley clan.

Still, it's a great story! I enjoyed it a lot and Rose's characterization did fit very well. As I mentioned before, some littel additions could make the scenario even more believable.

Oh, and I loved James:)

I hope this helped a little.

Greets
Miriel

Author's Response: Thankyou, this is the exact kind of advice I was looking for, I will note what you've said down for when I come to editing this.
Thankyou for the review, I really appreciate it!
Jane_Volturi


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Review #24, by Foxlilly5 Close To Crazy

12th May 2010:
Well I'd have to say I really enjoyed your use of humor in this story. I had quite a few laugh-out-loud moments, which don't usually happen to me, so I have to congratulate you on that! There are a few of the lines I found most funny:

"Yeah, I know I’m a hypocrite, but now isn’t really the time for technicalities, besides, everybody knows half of the words that come out of my mouth are complete and utter bullshit!

“Rose” Dom confirms “you are aware that half the words that come out of your mouth are complete and utter bullshit!”'

I thought that part was really clever because you managed to establish family ties (obviously being very close, enough to recognize certain traits in others) while mingling it with humor.

I also really liked the line: "Sometimes I think they don't deserve me." I liked this because I use this kind of humor in my life and it was really interesting to see it characterized.

But I'd have to say my absolute favorite part was the moment when Victoires water broke- your description of James' reaction was priceless. It was like a scene out of a movie, I could picture it perfectly:"James, clueless of what to do begins to shriek as well."

As you mentioned in your post in the forums you recognize that there were some grammatical errors and I did notice them but I won't chide you too much for them. Lucky for you they didn't overwhelm me too much but I would suggest going through and fixing them when you get the chance. Mostly because your story is good and you don't want to put off people for tiny errors (which can definitly happen as it happens to everyone from time to time).

Over all I enjoyed this and I think many people will continue to do so. I'm glad I had a chance to read it and I think you are a good writer with a lot of potential!

Author's Response: Oh wow, thankyou so much for this amazing review, it really made my day, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it and it made you laugh.
I will take everything you've said into consideration, and yes, I am currently trying to correct all of those grammar mistakes, thankyou again for reading this, I'm so happy that you liked it.
I'm sorry I haven't reviewed your stories yet, but I'll try and do them now if I can, the one that you requested looks really good and I can't wait to read it.
Jane_Volturi


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Review #25, by moonbaby11 Close To Crazy

12th May 2010:
I thought this was really cute! I felt it was a good length to fit everything into the story.

I liked the characterization of Rose, how she was jealous of Dom and how she hated Christmas. I didn't really like the characterization of Lily, though. She seemed sort of... well... not right to me.

I loved the scene in the pensieve. I thought that was absolutley genius! It really sent a good message to Rose, and wasn't too long of a scene.

Good job!

Author's Response: Hi moonbaby, thankyou so much for taking out the time to read and review this story, I realy appreciate it.
I'm so glad that you liked Rose's characterization, and I'm relieved that you enjoyed the pensieve scene, that's one of the things in the story I was most worried about. I totally get what you mean about Lily's characterization, you're not the first to mention it actually, so I will definiley be changing that when I come to edit this story.
Again, thankyou for your review, it made my day :)
Jane_Volturi


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