Oh how I want to read on, to see how things unfold in Sirius and Lily's relationship. Please, my dear, do write on. Report Review
That was really beautiful. I think youíre the first Sirius/Lily that Iíve read. Not that Iím a Maraudersí era reading girl but I donít really entertain the idea of Lily with anyone other than James or Severus (and even then, itís an unfulfilled way). But this, the way youíve written it works. Though you donít mention James in it at all, itís clear that thatís who Sirius is talking about when he wants Lily to be with someone who is safe, who isnít him.
The way that Sirius holds himself back from Lily was well done. You donít state it so explicitly until towards the end, but I already have the idea of it because of Lilyís observations and feelings. Her own love for him is evident in how she acts and her thoughts. I love the passion and chemistry that fills this one-shot without even them kissing until the very end.
The imagery of Sirius being like the starsóvisible, steady and just as unreachableóbasically summed him up for me. Even though your Sirius is still the impulsive, not afraid to speak his mind guy, the underlying core of loyalness and love is evident and I feel that this line just said it.
xChar Report Review
MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING. Report Review
Eww, this is horrible. Why a Lily/Sirius? I don't like that at all! Report Review
This is really the greatest fanfic. piece I've read in ages. I really like that it is exciting even though they are mainly just sitting by the lake. The style too is really powerful and it definitely brings a picture to my mind. I also like that you leave the ending open. It's dark, too, but ultimately touchable, if that makes sense:) Report Review
I can't believe this one only have ten reviews. it's wonderful. I think I have fallen deeply in love with your writing and the way you portray Sirius and Lily. Lovely just very lovely. Report Review
The onslaught of emotions was just... wow.
I'm not much of a Sirius/Lily shipper, but this moved me in ways that no other story has ever done. The picture you painted was so vivid, and I could literally feel their pain. In fact, it's been a good 15 minutes since I finished reading the story but the mood, the setting, the emotions are still with me, still running through my head.
The way you characterized Sirius was just spot on - his issues, reactions, everything. Just brilliant. And Lily - what I would give to be in her shoes despite the sadness of it all.
He sank down to one knee, his dark cloak billowing behind him in the wind as he moved.
This line really stuck to me. It reads and feels so Sirius.
They must hate him for that...that he would rather be alone than bow to their demands. And yet, it wouldn't surprise her if they desired him back for that same reason - the courage to defy the Noble House of Black.
And that line pretty much sums up the reason why I am, and forever will be, so enamored by Sirius Black.
Bittersweet. Heartbreaking. Gorgeous. Touching. Relatable.
A beautiful piece, timeturner. Completely in love with it. Report Review
You are such a master at balancing darkness and romance, which combined turn addictive. I see your fascination with our beloved Mr. Black: he has an explosive mix of darkness, passion, loyalty and danger in him that seduces us all... And you communicate it wonderfully! You dig deep in the souls of your characters, show their struggles and their dreams, and that is truly your strenght.
Might I also say that one phrase did not make sense to me: "That he'd never consider that she wanted him however she could get him had probably never entered his mind." A bit of clearing up would be appreciated?
Keep up the good work. Report Review
Wow... Just... Wow. Seriously. This was a truly wonderful read, despite the darker edge to it. It's amazing what you did to both characters, giving them so much life in just over 2000 words. I loved the title, I loved the allusions to the stars, and while this ship isn't my ideal one, it still was the right one. Don't know if that even makes sense, and if it doesn't, it should be understandable, since I'm sleep-deprived.
In general, the writing was beautiful, very descriptive. The piece flowed nicely and it hooked me from its very first sentence. The only thing I did miss was any mention of James, anything to indicate a perhaps messy relationship between him and Lily, or something that would've pushed Lily towards Sirius, but I guess that wasn't the point of this story (a messy love triangle, I mean). Still though, since I'm such a James fan, I would've loved a brief mentioning. Other than that, I loved this and I can't tell you how honoured I am that you chose one of my (older) one-shots to use for this challenge. Thank you for writing this :) Report Review
Happy Staff Appreciation Day! Wow, this needs about a hundred more reviews to match how good it is! There were some things in this that really struck a chord. The assessment of Dumbledore--spot-on. I mean, he was a wonderful man, and all, but he sometimes had a tendency to treat people like pawns. (A little bit of "For the greater good" remained, I suppose.) Lily's feelings about Sirius, that he had never fulfilled either her doubts or her hopes, were so perfect. And something about this line just summed up Sirius so well: "Kneeling before her with the prideful air of a Slytherin, the devotion of a Gryffindor and the grief-stricken worry of a man in love." Really, really great! Report Review
While I'm sitting around skulking over having written myself into a corner in the story that I started to the end of writing myself into a corner, here you are doing the amazing things you always do. Where I tend to hide in a corner, unwilling to push the limits of what I can do, you insist on walking into new literary challenges almost constantly. It's enough to make a girl feel bad about herself for not aspiring to more :)
I'd leave you a lengthy review about the prose but you already know how I feel about it because we talked about this story for hours and I'm impressed, as I always am, with the fact that you wrote it anyway and that it came out still ringing true to your voice. How much less of my whining would you have to listen to if I could do that? :P Report Review
This story looks like it could use a bit of love, which is amazing considering the review count for some of your other stories. Brilliant challenge, by the way, my favorite prompt of the staff challenges so far.
I have to confess that the Marauders era is my least favorite, and I've never read a Sirus/Lily I liked. I considered disallowing Marauders stories from my review thread, but stories like this one are the reason I decided against it in the end. Lily and Sirius were such people in this story. They were fully human, solidly relatable, and developed people, not just characters doing dumb stuff every five minutes. What's more, I was rooting for them being together! 'Bout time, indeed!
The pacing of this story was good. I liked how you gradually revealed more information, and you never lapsed into what I refer to as list-like description. There was no annoying poor-me stuff; the emotions of the characters felt genuine and not at all contrived. What impresses me most is that you included the war, the 800-lb gorilla in the room, in a respectful and serious way, without shying away from it, in what culminated as a more romantic piece. I don't often see seriousness and romance mixed so adeptly and maturely (if at all) in HP fanfiction.
My favorite sentence is the second one, where Lily is fumbling with the locks. For some reason, that keeps running through my mind. Knowing the rest of the story now, it's as if, how can she escape from a place that previously felt safe to her? Also, those few words, which focus on a small detail in a non-obtrusive way, make the scene seem more alive and real.
I have only wonderful things to say about this story. Lovely work.Author's Response: It's a little orphan, isn't it? Sad little review count that it has :( I took a long break from fanfic and, since my return, it's been difficult to get reviewers back (just to explain the differing counts). Makes me pretty sad, if truth be told.
I'm glad you mentioned that the locks line stayed with you. Interestingly, that's the line that started the entire fic in my head. In reading Steph's story, a vision of Lily fighting the locks in an attempt to get away from the responsibility of telling the boy played like a movie in my head. That part went well...the rest I struggled to write. I wanted to maintain some semblance of the original story but, unfortunately, only the barest threads still remain. But I did have fun with the challenge anyway.
Thanks for the thoughtful review, especially since you don't normally read Marauders. I'm glad you gave it a chance and ended up liking it. Thanks for the review and the kind words that helped make my day a bit brighter. :) Report Review
With this story I can officially say I changed my mind. I wasn't really a fan of Sirius/Lily, but as I read more and more of this pairing I realize I'm falling in love with it. :] It took one of your stories to make me finally see the light! :]
I love how you portrayed their interaction and the way you described the scene. You got me captured in the story since line 1: Lily's emotions felt so real to me.
And the final kiss. Wow. :]Author's Response: Always happy to convert anyone! I'm so glad you liked the story, this was a much harder challenge than I anticipated so I struggled with it quite a bit. Thank you so much for the kind words and the wonderful review :) Report Review
What you've done with Steph's story is fascinating because you've inverted the happy fairy tale story, not only making it darker, but using this darkness to exemplify the Sirius/Lily relationship. Wow, I need to stop writing essays, sorry. :P But it's true - by changing the ship, you've altered many other things in the story, yet have somehow retained the basic idea. Sirius isn't a prince charming at all. He actually reminded me of a Byronic vampire, coming out of the night in his dress robes.
You really couldn't resist that shot at Dumbledore here, could you? :P Though it does fit into Sirius's portrayal well, fitting in with how Sirius acted in OotP. What Sirius says about Dumbledore is right, though, as DD was exploiting Lily's kindness and should have known that the Slytherins were running rampant in his school. The Prince's Tale scenes in HBP show that the Slytherins were a real problem during that time.
It's beautifully written, as all your stories are, and you make the ship so amazing - no one else can quite capture Sirius and Lily together as you do. If you ever complain about not being good enough again, I will throw this story at you as proof of your talent.Author's Response: Maybe it's my exhaustion but your review made me cry. I was really worried about this story not only because it was Steph's but because I was afraid I had strayed too far from her story...so much so that it was unrecognizable. I did try and thread many of her ideas through but most of them turned out more subtle than I intended and I was afraid no one would see them.
Thank you for the review. I appreciate you not only taking the time to do it but because you are so loyal to read and review anything no matter how weird it make look :D It's been rough getting back into fanfic and without you cheering me on, I don't think I would ever manage it. *hugs* Report Review
It's so different from Steph's story, but still has the same scene kind of (unless I missed some point and this was actually a missing moment). You really made it your own though. :) And I love both stories!
Wow! That was thoughtless of Dumbledore! You really aren't that nice to him here.
I love it how Lily thinks of him as a man in love for a moment. It makes me think that he really is in love with her. Somehow I always want them to be really in love, and you keep kind of avoiding that, making it something... well a bit different. Maybe friendship plus passion. And still I love your stories, whatever you do with the characters. But I loved that little hint of love here.
And in the end it gets more definite. They definitely both love each other but haven't been able to tell it. *squeels* You got some fluffy romance in there! :P
I love Sirius' protectiveness of Lily and how they interact. You make them have this tension all the time, which sometimes makes them argue and sometimes makes them passionate towards each other. Though the arguing often comes from the protectiveness and all that too.
I love the atmosphere in this story too. I think that's something you and Steph have similar. You both have a clear sense of the atmosphere and surroudnings in the story. At least I had a feel of the starry night.
Oh and the end was great! "Colse enough to touch" and then the last lines. :) Wonderful story once again!Author's Response: Yes, yes, I managed a bit of fluff. Sort of :P Thanks for pointing out about the tension between them, I try really hard to make sure it stays there even in the quieter moments. Doesn't always work but I'm glad I managed to here because that was definitely my intent. I wasn't sure about the ending so I'm glad you enjoyed it and it came off well.
Thanks for the review. I know you stayed up past your bedtime to read it and I really appreciate your willingness to do that. Although, one day we WILL get you to be on time around here :P Report Review
aw...WOW, wish i could write in as gd a style as u!may i ask if u have twitter as i think im following you! :DAuthor's Response: I do :) It's timeturner01. Drop me a tweet to let me know you are from HPFF and I'll happily follow you back.
And thanks for the kind words. I kept refreshing the page hoping for a review since I posted and you were the very first! *hugs* Thank you! Report Review
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