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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FriendofMolly Harry's children off to Hogwarts

24th January 2015:
evil hawk,
I thought when I read the promo that this would be something else. I'm curious, will you explain just how Riddle is alive? Also Albus is older than Lily, how is it that she has already been attending Hogwarts and Albus is a first year?
I'm also confused as to how Dumbledore and Severus are alive, and possibly Sirius. He went through the veil, so is it possible the veil doesn't lead to the afterlife, at least the one in which James and Lily dwell?
I'll read the next,
FoM

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Review #2, by Kathy McGovern Harry's children off to Hogwarts

10th November 2011:
KEEP WORKING IT IS GREAT

Author's Response: It's not great, this is a piece that I would have never considered posting if it hadn't of been for the coauthor insisting that we publish it. I have a lot of work to do on this piece before it is a piece that I would be proud of. My only regret is that this is one of my worst pieces I have wrote in a long time.

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Review #3, by Burnt Cheese Harry's children off to Hogwarts

14th October 2009:
Hahhahahahahahhahhahaha!

This is a joke, right?

Please tell me this is a joke.

If it isn't, then this is crap. Complete and utter crap. I have no idea what's going on in this story. James? Lily? Aren't they dead? Are they guardian angels or something?

And Voldemort is dead! Why is he suddenly resurrected? I'm not saying you can't do that, it's just you should really explain why he came back/how he came back/when he came back. And your dialogue! *shudders* Good God.

You fluctuate between past tense and present tense, your sentences lack description or everything else for that matter and your spelling is completely off. Griffendore? Really??

And Dumbledore! He was killed by Snape in the sixth book, wasn't he? How come he just suddenly pops up, tells Harry he isn't dead, then disappears again? So confusing. It doesn't make sense. Nothing in this story makes sense. If Voldemort had suddenly appeared how come James/Albus/Rose still go off to Hogwarts like nothing happened? Come to think of it, where did Voldemort go after he appeared? It's like he just showed up and vanished. Come to think of it, why didn't Harry do anything to Voldemort?

And there seems to be no discernible plot in this story.

I strongly suggest you get a beta/re-write this story. Don't think of this as a flame (though it's close to being one), think of it as constructive criticism. You want more reads, get a banner at www (dot) the-dark-arts (dot) net. They've got lots of lovely artists there.

0.2/10

Author's Response: Hey sorry this is only my first work okay. I will work on making it better. I was only ten when I wrote that for god's sake. My thoughts on it were if I could bring back any character I would bring back James and Lily. Voldemort was brought back by a friend who cowrote the piece with me when we were young. I will be getting rid of this story soon and replacing it with a better work okay.

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Review #4, by Harry_Potter123  Harry's children off to Hogwarts

14th October 2009:
The first chapter is good, but it is hard to understand what's happening when

Author's Response: Yes I know. I was only ten when my friend and I wrote this after reading the HP books together. The coauthors were the one's who wrote it out then typed it up. I had little to do with the work because I was always busy in advanced coursework for English. I regret to say that I found that they put the draft on here then submitted it for consideration for this site. I could have had it better wrote if they hadn't of rushed typing it out. The fact of the matter was, we wanted to de-age tom and allow him to have a childhood that he wasn't given. James and Lily, well they were added because my coauthors were going to have a potions experiment gone wrong de-age harry. Plus they wanted to bring back certain characters: James, Lily, and Nev's parents.

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