Reading Reviews for Enticement
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by plainInsane18  The Plan

11th October 2011:
Holy crap this is good! Sometimes your work is tends towards verbose, but overall, the story is very good! Things are starting to come back around to the initial chapters of the story ("Dissimulation" and "Conundrum", in particular, which make so much more sense after this chapter), and the action is finally starting to roll!

I can't wait to see what happens with "Peter" (interesting name choice, btw, does it hint at anything for the future?) and all the others :)

Author's Response: I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to respond to this! And thanks very much for taking the time to leave a review. :) I absolutely know what you mean about the verbosity, but I hope the next chapters will be an improvement on the previous ones.

I wouldn't say Peter's name has any real significance to the plot. I chose it because it was a generic enough name; he might've as well been called Paul or John or David, wouldn't have made one jot of difference to the plot. You'll understand why later on. Right now I'll just say this: Peter may not be who you really think he is!

Thanks once again for the lovely review, and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.

- WD, Feb 10, 2012

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Review #2, by Kelpie  Dissemblance: V

24th October 2010:
Gah! I hate it when you keep us on a thread with those evil cliffhangers! I would have read this earlier (like months earlier) and then reviewed, but I was nowhere near a computer. Anyways, Peter is turning out to be a fascinating character and I'm still not certain what role he will take on in affecting Vivienne, but that's the allure of it isn't it?
I want more of Hillary! True to your word she is a hoot, especially when she went and messed around with Mudblood and Pureblood. I like that beneath her zany ways lies somebody sane and aware of what's going on. As for Vivienne, I'm extremely curious to learn more about her.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again, Kelp. I really appreciate the interest you've expressed towards this story, and I'm glad you're enjoying it still. I do remember you reviewing the previous version of this sometime in March 2008, so it's heartening you still find it interesting enough. :)

Peter's fascinating, isn't he? Oohh, there's SO MUCH I'd like to tell you about him, but that'd tantamount to overwhelming you with an avalanche of spoilers. But there are certain things which I feel are safe to divulge without running the risk of giving too much away.

Peter is the protagonist of the story, though his intentions are very shady, and as Dericott rightly believes, Peter is untrustworthy. Though what baffles BOTH Audrey and Dericott is how on earth Peter managed to win Hillary's trust. Because if you remember, it's mentioned in the second part of Dissemblance that Hillary initially disliked Peter and refused to mentor him. Peter obviously has had to flog himself to the ground to get to this point where he's second to Hillary magically speaking. And then there was the whole issue of winning Hillary's trust, which Peter has incredibly managed to achieve. To know how he managed to hack it, you're going to have to read the story, I'm afraid. Let's just say Peter discovered a chink in the redoubtable Hillary's armour, with some help from his friend Glubbley, and he exploited this like nobody's business.

I can go on and on about Hillary, but I'm not going to bore you with it in this response. Trying to articulate in words who she is simply doesn't do her characterisation justice; you need to *meet* her to really get to know her. With the caveat that you might not necessarily LIKE her and the hysterical insanity that she brings to the story, I hope you find her interesting enough to read about.

As for Vivienne, some might see her as the primary antagonist, but I see her as something of a tragic character, just like Hillary. Both these women share a lot in common, even though on the surface Vivienne couldn't be any more different than Hillary if she tried. But what differentiates Vivienne from Hillary is that Vivienne has a bona fide character arc and character development in the course of the story, whereas Hillary remains basically the same person. What makes change possible in Vivienne's case is that she has Harry to forgive her an be there for her when she hits the rock bottom, and Vivienne also goes on to find love again, whereas Hillary's life is doomed from the start.

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Review #3, by edenvirg  Dissemblance: IV

21st August 2010:
Hi there! :) Am still following this story, don't worry. I check in every now and then to see if there's an update, and OMG thank you for those two chapters! :D You totally dstracted me from school hahaha. But it was time well spent. Fantastic writing, as always, and even better characters. :D Can't wait for what will happen next!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :) I'm glad to hear you still find the story and characters interesting.

The enxt chapter will take me a while to write, but whenever it'll be posted - and it WILL be posted, I have no plans of abandoning this story after having worked so long on it - it'll be one of the most hilarious and whacky chapters of the story. It's completely OC-centric, andjust all sorts bizzare. :)

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Review #4, by Kelpie  Dissemblance: III

21st August 2010:
I really liked how you focused on Scorpius rather than the Potter/Weasley brood, I find him having a much more fascinating personality that you've given him. As for the conversation with Harry Potter, I found it interesting to see how both parties were curious about each other.

I really wanted to finally meet this Hillary that you've been hinting at for a bit, first with Peter's bit in the last chapter and in your author's note. Also, since I've reviewed the last chapter already, I read through it again and noticed the edits that you've made with how magic works and I love that you've put it in. Your writing is incredibly sophisticated and well thought out.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I think I understand why you find Scorpius more fascinating that the Potter/Weasley lot. He's not so horribly obnoxious like them, and yeah, he's a nice bloke.

Hillary! You'll get to know a little bit more about her if you read chapter 8, but she's as crazy as they come. Completely mental, scatterbrained, unbelievably obnoxious and loathsome. And incredibly, incredibly powerful. She's an absolute hoot to write, because she makes fun of and annoys the crap out of just about everyone. Personally, she's my favourite character, but it's perfectly fathomable if the readers and the other characters hate her. :)

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Review #5, by Over the Rainbomb  Dissemblance: II

10th May 2010:
It's great to see that your writing this again. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. I really liked the idea of a play about the death of Dumbledore and using the chapter title from HBP was genius!

10/10 Wonderful as always.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I'm surprised I've even got any readers left given how abysmally slowly I've been with updates.

I wrote about the play not so much because I found it an interesting subject per se but because I wanted to show what big brats the Potter/Weasley kids are. I enjoyed writing it, though and glad you liked reading it.

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Review #6, by Kelpie  Dissemblance: II

10th May 2010:
I love your views on how magic is harnessed and how you don't possess it but you can use it. I also loved how you wrote Rita Skeeter. Then there's James and oh boy he is full of himself, he is detestable. Love your writing.

Author's Response: Haha! I know. I love writing James, simply because he's so abhorrent. There is an element of humour though, he knows he's loathsome and just enjoys ticking people off. And maybe, just maybe, there's also a rationale behind his conceit.

Thanks for reviewing. :)

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Review #7, by Kelpie  Dissemblance: I

22nd March 2010:
I love how you have developed the plot and I've had a chance to see you refine the story, although I want to see more of Lily as she was my favorite from past, now removed chapters. Also, I love how Albus is on the brink of having his theory proven by the Acolytes, if they ever come out into the open and if my guess is right. But that's the intrigue you've created.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing. :) I was pleasantly surprised to find this review in the list of unanswered reviews. This story, which was conceived in 2007, has since changed so much plot wise that I have to keep editing and rewriting chapters. It's not an easy story to write and definitely it's not an easy read, because nothing's quite direct. Every little detail and clue is couched as another less seminal detail that I don't really expect the readers - if I've still got any left - to tease them out. But to answer to your guess...

Al's theory might have something there but what he thinks is not entirely correct. You've got to remember that Albus is not one of these people - I still am debating whether or not to name them, and acolyte is only a rank, not the name they go by. Al's not no first hand experience with the brand of magic that people like Peter and Connor and Hillary and Vivienne wield, as such his theory is only just a guesstimate. He is partially right, but not entirely.

Then again, there aren't any rules that are set in stone. I see this brand of magic as something that's ever changing, mutable, defying every rule of science, almost as a sentient entity that has a mind of its own. I really didn't want this story to have a villian styled along the lines of Voldemort, rather I see magic in itself as an adversary more potent than any human which is why taming it and controlling it is ever so difficult and also dangerous.

I don't really think these people are going to come out in the open, because for one they're forbidden to do so by 'The Centre' which is a Ministry-esque body that governs these people, and as Vivienne speculates, the retribution would be severe - they could be stripped of every ounce of magic they possess if 'The Centre' votes in favour of doing so.

The acolytes are, as the name suggests, the apprentices. Every acolyte is assigned a mentor, and within a given time they need to prove themselves to be up to scratch. If they're unable to make the cut, their memories are wiped clean and they have no recollection that The Centre exists or that they are capable of performing magic beyond description or that they were prepped for it. Those that make the cut are anointed as 'Warlocks'. Connor for instance is a Warlock, so are Hillary and Vivienne, but Peter as of now is only still an Acolyte - or at least that's what The Centre thinks. But as you can see Peter is streets ahead of Connor, magically speaking, which goes to show that these ranks and these titles aren't always infallible.

Peter, however, wants to quit. He doesn't want to be a Warlock because he sees that as being eternally bonded to The Centre and abiding by their rules and doing everything they ask him to do - being a slave, in other words. Besides, the ones that are at the top of the hierarchy at The Centre - viz, Richard Cotton and Alfred Glubbley and Vivienne Scott and Hillary Reisz - have got their morals all messed up. No matter how good people's intentions are in the beginning, power WILL invariably be abused. Peter realises this, and he doesn't want to be tarred with the same brush. Because Peter, his numerous flaws notwithstanding, is not power hungry. He doesn't want to lord it over the rest, he doesn't wanted to be the latter-day Vivienne Scott. For him, magic is a sport, something he enjoys combating, only perhaps to derive a sense of self worth. He likes the magical aspect of The Centre, just not the politics.

Whew. I wrote an essay lol, but this I think gave me the much needed push to write the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #8, by edenvirg  Conundrum

19th November 2009:
I thought there was a new chapter! :( Please update soon, I really can't wait to see where this is all going. Your style of writing is captivating :D

Author's Response: I'm sorry about there not being a new chapter. But I hope to update soonish. Im very glad you're enjoying this story so far, and I hope it'll keep your interest arrested till the very end.

Thanks again for reviewing. :)

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Review #9, by Over the Rainbomb  Conundrum

15th November 2009:
This is great. I hope you update soon. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I shall try my best to update as soon as I possibly can. :)

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Review #10, by wolverine83  Conundrum

21st October 2009:
I just discovered this story and read the entire thing and I think its a really really good story so I'm curious to know why you are completely revamping it into a whole different story?

Author's Response: First off, thanks so much for being the very first reviewer. I'm very thrilled that you're liking the story.

As to why I'm revamping it? Well, not so much revamping as making minor edits and reshuffling the chapters - there's a prologue now which was earlier a part of chapter 5. The basic plot remains the same, as do the characters.

Thanks so much for reviewing. :)

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