Oh my God, poor Ron! I wonder what he has done to piss off Hermione? What could he possibly have done to make her fall for Malfoy? :P Well... He probably is smoking hot, but anyways! :P I loved the text. I enjoyed reading, because you write really good.Author's Response: To be quite honest, I don't remember why she was so angry. I suppose I just felt a strong emotion at the time, and decided that I should emphasize it to fit Ron's situation, and to contrast his deep state of apathy (numbness?) and longing. But thanks for reviewing anyhow! :) Report Review
When I made the list of the objects for the challenge, I did envisage small ways that each object could be used. Nothing too big, I just wanted to think about how each object might be interpreted. I definitely didn't think about something like spellotape used in the way you did.
And I loved it.
I really like how you used it portray the innocence of childhood. I am one of those people who, when reading about nostalgia or missing the early childhood days, is completely sold. I absolutely adore the idea of using objects to think about what life was like when we were younger and things were simpler. Though you didn't write an entire thesis on it, it came through very clearly.
And, of course. Mending a broken heart. Along with being a sucker for childhood, I am also a big sucker for angst. Applying it to Ron and Hermione's relationship in this really worked. The idea that spellotape can't mend someone's heart, no matter how much you wish it could. I really like that.
Well done on the challenge!Author's Response: Thanks so much for such a positive review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and liked my interpretation of spellotape (in using it to trigger a memory and not being able to mend a broken heart). It just came to me, and fit so well with the story I was writing, so I put it in. Thanks again! :) Report Review
I think you started off really well, but in the end I think it went a little off the great road it was going on. It could be just me, but by Hermione saying, "I was never yours," it sounded like she was just ending the relationship, but she had already moved publicly on to Draco? For me, it doesn't seem like Hermione would ever intentionally snog Draco in such a close proximity to Ron, not to mention snog Draco in public at all. The characterization of her left her almost bitchy, and I don't get that impression from Hermione.
Of course, those things are left entirely up to the author, and I really did like the story -- I felt it ended a little abruptly, although it was a good ending nonetheless. At the end, I went, "Oh, it's over?" because I suppose I was looking forward to when Ron couldn't avoid their talk anymore and they'd have to sit down and actually sort out the situation.
Good job!Author's Response: Well, I never actually thought about continuing the story and making them talk, because I do think it ended abruptly too, now that I look at it again. I guess that, in sitting down and just writing what came to mind, I didn't exactly consider what I'd written and if it made sense. So sorry about that D:
Anyway, thanks for the helpful review. :) Report Review
Hey! This is psychee from the forums!
Well, I really liked this! ^_^ To be honest, I was expecting a little more ... background, perhaps, into Draco and Hermione's relationship, as witnessed by Ron, but you mirrored his confusion very well. I liked the use of Spellotape, so kudos to blackisback for giving you that item! :) Some of the flow was a little off, especially in sentences like: "Not twenty feet away, Hermione and Draco were snogging away." I think the reason I find it 'off', so to speak, is because you've ... I don't know, made it almost banal? There's not much hurt with Ron right there, though that's entirely your choice (whether or not to make him and Hermione romantically involved).
All in all, very well done! Congrats! :) I'm happy you took up this challenge. ^_^
XOXO, Kalina (Elesphyl or psychee)Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! I had, in fact, decided to mostly focus on Ron's emotions while writing this, so I'll admit that writing about Draco and Hermione's past did slip my mind. I didn't want to make them romantically involved because I wanted to... I don't know, exaggerate the tension between them. Well thanks again for reviewing! :) Report Review
Yay! I really liked it and I thought you did a really fantastic job! I still need to finish my story for the 'seven-sided die' challenge!
:DaniAuthor's Response: Oh my goodness thanks so much for the lovely review! :) Report Review
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