I love this story! Bill's got some competition it seems... Hopefully Fleur will get over her disdain and fall for him! Report Review
Good start! Only a couple of comments.
". Where a pretty, rich girl like her didn’t have to go through torturous interviews to find work." This is one of your quotes. Fleur was a triwizard champion! She didn't rely on her looks! She was a beast of a witch!
Also, Charlie wasn't the head of the desk clerks, he was a secret breaker or a curse breaker or something. That's why the whole Weasley family went to egypt in the 3rd book.
But it's really well written! A lot of great detail!Author's Response: Thanks for leaving your thoughts! That's a great point about Fleur being a Triwizard champion...I really haven't incorporated that into her character very much, although it's an important aspect of her. Thanks for bringing it up!
As for Bill being the head of the desk clerks...just be patient on that one, I promise it'll work out ;) I appreciate you taking the time to read the story and leave a thoughtful review! Report Review
Love your story! So glad you updated, can't wait to see where you take this :)Author's Response: Thanks so much, dear :) I hope to update fairly soon, so please do check back! I appreciate you reading and reviewing! Report Review
I'M STILL READING!
I cannot WAIT to read more. I want to read about when Fleur finds out that he isn't just a desk worker. Heh, heh. I like emotional revelations.
I know this update is brand-new, but...please, update soon!Author's Response: Wow, you're about three steps ahead of me! I haven't even outlined that far ;) But I do have some great plans for this story, and it's so exciting to see that other people have the same enthusiasm for it as me! It really encourages me to keep writing! I did just update, but I hope to stay on top of this one and keep it fairly well updated. I'll do my absolute best, I promise :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!!! Report Review
It. Was. Bill.
Because Bill is cool like that.
I really like this story! I've never really read any Bill/Fleur's, and this is a good entrance into the world of their relationship! :DAuthor's Response: Was it Bill? Are you sure? ;) I'm glad this is your introduction to them because I really like my interpretation of the characters and their relationship. Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
I like Bill. He's always been the "Cool Older Brother" in my mind :) He has that air about him.
I can't wait to continue! This was a great chapter!Author's Response: Bill is pretty awesome...I wanted to explore his character and expand it outside of how we know him in the books, so I've definitely had fun with that. Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Okay, if it means that much! :) I really like this story just because it's something different about 2 of my favorite other characters! I was disappointed when it seemed you had abandoned this because I think you have a real winner here and I encourage you to keep at it! I'll be looking forward to your next chapter! :)Author's Response: It really does mean a lot, so thank you for taking the time! I'm certainly not abandoning it...I just have a weird writing method. Sometimes I can sit down and write pages and pages, and then other times I have a bunch of busy months where I don't write at all. So I promise, as of now, I don't intend to abandon this any time soon.
I appreciate your review so much! I hope to update fairly soon so please do check back :) Report Review
Love it! Keep it up can't wait for more ;)Author's Response: So glad to hear that! Thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope to update soon :) Report Review
Oh, I adore this.
I have always loved Fleur/Bill but no one seems to write about them, which is really frustrating.
I love Fleur's attitude towards the English in this, it's really how I always imagined her, and the banter between her and Bill.
I love Bill, and his smirking. Haha.
I'm just going to leave a quick review, so to say that I hope that this will be updating as soon as possible and that, again, I love this - a lot.
Definitely ten out of ten, love.
Allie x.Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you like the story so far, love :) It means the world to know that!
There are very few Bill/Fleur stories out there, that's true. And that's why I decided to write this! Paving the way where no one has gone before!
I'm happy you like the characters. I get all muddled up in the dialogue and description and whatnot, so it's good to hear at least something is coming across.
I'm in the midst of midterms at the moment, so time to write is scarce, but I have about half of the third chapter done. I'm hoping to update within a week or two :) I hope to hear what you think of the update! Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and favoriting!!! Report Review
Sorry, I think it is actually Domhall.Author's Response: You're right, he does play Bill in the movie...but I find my Bill a bit more attractive ;) He's from the TV series House, his name's Jesse Spencer. Love him! Anyways, thanks for the suggestion, hon! Report Review
Magnificent story so far! I think Bill and Fluer are a fun couple and you never see many stories about them! You are off to a wonderful start! I especially like the charming animosity between them -- you just know they'll be falling in love at some point! The only thing I would have done is had whoever did your picture use Donhall Gleeson for Bill since he plays him in DH1! Can't wait for the more!Author's Response: I'm so happy you like it so far :) I love this story, and I'm glad everyone else seems to also. Bill and Fleur are really very fun to write, especially because of all the back-and-forth bantering and so on. I hope the humor of that is coming across...and who knows, maybe it'll turn to love sooner than you think ;)
Thanks for taking the time to leave a review, love! I really appreciate it. I hope to update soon, and I'd love to hear what you think of the new chapter :) Report Review
i love fleur already!
keep up the good work, and update soon :)Author's Response: I'm happy you hear you like it! I recently submitted an updated version of the first chapter, that tweaks a few things...hopefully that'll help me get an outline done so I can update soon!!!
I can't wait to hear what you think of what I come with next :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
GREAT! really amusing chapter, entertaining and well written characcters not to much dizzy, pink lovecliches, i hope you update soonAuthor's Response: I'm glad you like it so far!! I've put in the edited first chapter which will hopefully help me fix up my draft and get more writing done :) I look forward to hearing from you after I update! Report Review
Very funny Chapter. I loved the banter between Fleur and Bill. I can not wait to see how you bring them together. When I got to the end I couldnt believe it was done. I was hoping for more. Now I'm going to have to wait until the next chapter and i dont think i can.
Oh well. A good author always leaves their readers longing for more...
Great job on this story.Author's Response: I can't wait to see either...haha. My writing and I are having a bit of a tempestuous period in our relationship at the moment. But I promise I'm doing my best :)
I just began Christmas break, so hopefully the free time will inspire me, and I'll get SOMETHING done. We shall see. Thank you for your continued support, dear, it means the world!!! Report Review
This is great start to a story!
I've never read any Fleur/Bill stories, but I love how you've portrayed them in this story.
It's great that they seem to have an immediate connection.
Keep up the wonderful writing :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it :) Yeah, Bill/Fleur are pretty rare, so I'm trying to do the two of them justice, and make this a good story! It really means a lot to hear that you like it so far! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave a review. It really does make my day :) Report Review
awesome story! i love the way this is written!Author's Response: I'm glad you like it :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!!! Report Review
I'm liking it! There just isn't enough Bil/ Fleur in the world to satisfy me. Please update soon! I really enjoy this story.Author's Response: There really is so little Bill/Fleur, you're right! I'm so glad you like it :) I'm going to try my best to keep this updated, okay? Thanks for reading and reviewing!!! Report Review
that was a great chapter
you cant end it there though!
i need more!
=]Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you liked it :) Sorry for the cliffhanger there...the trouble is I just wanted to finally update so I had to cut it off as that was all I had time to write! I have a lot of work and stuff at the moment, and I'm pretty busy. But I'm going to do my best to update this soon, okay? Thanks for reading and reviewing, dear, I really appreciate it :) Report Review
very nice, cant wait to read moreAuthor's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I'm going to try and finish the next chapter/update as soon as possible! Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Report Review
please write another one its really good !Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! I'm hoping to post a new chapter soon, but as I have a lot of school work and many other stories in progress right now, I'm not sure how fast I'll be able to. I promise I'll do my best though :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
I think that I liked these lines the most from this chapter: “How can you think that? Clearly you are too English.” She turned away from him and prayed for patience.
His grin was infuriating. “No, love, clearly you are too French.” They made me laugh out loud.
I absolutely adore the snark that both of them have. I hadn't imagined Bill as particularly sarcastic, but I suppose that it's possible. We don't know much about him, and it does seem fitting in this tale.
I love your descriptions. They are beautiful and lovely and really get a reader immersed in your text. If I could give you one suggestion though, it would be to mention something other than the color of her eyes in the beginning of your chapters. You've done that twice in two chapters - comment on Fleur's eyes, I mean. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think that you will eventually run out of ways to describe her eyes. Not to mention, it's a bit predictable if that's the way every chapter will have started out.
I like the ending and how it's cloaked in ambuguity. I sincerely hope that Jasper is all right. He and Fleur seemed to get on quite well.
I don't like the idea of Death Eaters being so close. That would be quite a frightening and confusing ordeal, I would imagine.
Hopefully, she'll get out of the chaotic mess soon.
Your characterizations are wonderful, too, if you couldn't tell from my crowing already. I absolutely adore them. They seem to be adding more dimension and depth to two characters whom not much is known about.
Especially when it comes to Bill.
I really like this story.
LindersAuthor's Response: Hello again, Linders! I made myself read this nice and slowly to make the loveliness last :) Thanks for the great reviews!
Ha, oh thank you! I positively loved those two lines, too! I chuckled to myself as I wrote them actually. The thing is, I have a slightly 'snarky' sense of humor myself, and it seems to find its way into my dialogue often times, so I naturally find myself writing Bill and Fleur in that tone. I'm glad you like it :)
Thanks for pointing that out about the eyes...it is very true, now I think about it. I'll work on that in the future, for sure! Oh, and thank you so much for saying you like the description :) I really struggle with that, so it always makes me smile when someone says they like it!
I am so happy to hear that you like the characters! It honestly made my day to get your two reviews, and I'm so glad you like the story so far. And Bill. I'm rather falling in love with him myself, I think :P
And now that my response is practically longer than your review...I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my story, and to review! I hope I'll be able to update soon, and I can't wait to hear what you think as the story goes on :)
Ah, this was wonderful!
I adored your characterizations! They were certainly refreshing, and quite in character. I also adored that it wasn't love at first sight as so many Fleur/Bill stories are. True, she admired his beauty in the fourth book - yet I don't think she would get over her pride so quickly as she lusted after him.
This was quite amusing. I love that he likes to infuriate her and she's so easily angered. It's predictable of romance stories yet adorable, to say the least.
Not something you expect from a Fleur/Bill, but it's a nice change, I must admit. It makes Fleur seem more human and less like some intangible faerie princess.
This is something that I really appreciate as I hated Fluer shamelessly in the books. She just irritated me. Here, she doesn't seem as bad as she is in the books and yet she doesn't seem sweet as sugar, either.
It's a nice balance.
I also like that she's intimidated by Gringotts. Along with making her more human, I think this is a great touch of realism. A lot of people are anxious about interviews, but no one really anticipates that Fleur Delacour would be one of those people.
This is a lovely start!
I can't wait to read more.
LindersAuthor's Response: Hello Linders! I would like to begin by thanking you profusely for reading my story and leaving such a detailed review!!! It thoroughly made my day :) So thank you!
As for Bill/Fleur...I really am not so good at writing the cute, love at first sight type of couple, plus I find it comes off as more realistic if they learn to love each other! So their strange relationship was born :P But thank you for commenting on that!
Fleur - I completely agree. I surprised myself by starting this story, to tell you the truth, because she is so unlikeable! But, as much as I hate to admit it, I have come to like her much more by writing this side of her. She's really not the stuck-up, perfect French girl on the inside. She just lets other people think that...but I've got her act figured ;)
Anyways, thank you so much for the fabulous review! I'm so excited to read your next one! I have had a hard time keeping up with this story, but I'm really going to try my best to keep it going. I have some more concrete plans for the near future of the story, so hopefully that'll help me stay on top of it! Thanks again, dear :) Report Review
I like it! It has a good vibe to it!!! :D Please update ASAP! :)Author's Response: I'm hoping to post a new chapter to this soon... real life is crazy at the moment, but I'm doing my best! Thanks so much, dear, I love hearing from readers =] Report Review
I’m here from TGS with your review! I must tell you, I was so pleased to see a Bill/Fleur in my queue. They are one of my favourite pairings, and at that, a story of them I seem to have missed! Which is hard to do because there is just so few. (This saddens me greatly, and something I have attempted to fix.) But I am off track now.
Anyway, Fleur! Oh, I just love her, always have, I may be possibly biased, but still. I think you did a fine job in portraying her. She has an arrogant air to her, but still one that tells she is unsure of herself in this new place. She wants to be independent and find her way, but seems to run into troubles still. I think you did well, but I am curious why did you not write in her accent? Just curious.
And Bill, I love Bill too! He is a favourite. It was rather humourous to see that Fleur first thought he was Ron whom she had seem at Hogwarts. Bill was great! He is everything I always pictured him, sarcastic and joking, a bit of smart to his words. he is sure to give Fleur a bit of troubles, seeing as their current predicament!
I think the flow and plot are also well, with this chapter you leave the reader wondering what will happen between Bill and Fleur after this rocking meeting they have had. And the whole idea that Bill is the superior to Fleur, always in for certain surprises, non?
In all, I thought this was a good start, I am very curious to see where this goes, so please please please, come back and request when another chapter is posted!
ColletteAuthor's Response: Hi! Thanks for being so quick to review =] That was why I requested actually - I remembered you liking Bill/Fleur and I know you write a lot of it, so I figured maybe you'd be interested in this!
As to why I did not write Fleur's accent, it was just too much trouble for me! I know that sounds awfully lazy, but it's the truth! I didn't want it to come off wrong, either, so I figured it would just be easier to leave it out ;)
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a detailed review! It really helps me to hear stuff like this, especially since I'm a little doubtful about this one =] I will certainly request again when I update, which will hopefully be soon! Trying to find my muse for this one again... Thanks again! Report Review
Wow, this looks like a really good start! This would be the first Bill/Fleur I have read and I am suitably impressed :D
I really like your Fleur - I think you got her spot on, a nice mix of first-day-nerves and I'm-gorgeous-arrogance. I also really liked the insecurities she had with her language! I think it would be very frustrating having to speak another language you're not quite familiar with, while trying to appear confident.
Bill looks like he's going to be a really interesting character too - though, I did think he was a curse breaker. But I am probably mistaken :) Unless, by desk-worker you mean curse breaker, as well...if that makes sense :P
Oh and just one question - is there any reason you chose to write Fleur without an accent? I'm just wondering :)
Anyway, great start! I'm looking forward to the update!
xxAuthor's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for reading this, I'm honored to have your commentary on it ;)
I'm glad you liked my Fleur. I didn't know quite what to do with her really, so I just went with my gut. Nice to hear that it worked!
Er... yes, of course I meant curse breaker as well as desk worker! That's exactly what I was going for... ^_^
I wrote Fleur without an accent for two reasons: 1) I can't write accents accurately and 2) Accent-less characters are easier to read! It was an easy decision =]
Thanks so much for reviewing - I really appreciate you taking the time to read this! Hopefully the update will be finished soon... we shall see ;) Report Review
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