Beautiful story! It flowed very well. I loved it from beginning to end. Great Job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it ♥ Report Review
i really like this! i don't often read fics about luna so this was a nice change (: i especially loved the line "It is not irony, rather the tears of the heavens mourning their loss." Beautiful!!
And don't worry about your chronology, it worked so well with this!
-Brenna Report Review
I thought the story was beautiful! The format you used, starting at the end and ending at the beginning, was fantastic. The descriptions were vivid and it was just a great piece of writing!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much XD. There's been quite a bit of debate over the reverse chronology, so I'm extremely pleased to have more feedback on it! I'm just so overwhelmed by your compliments and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it ♥ .
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh my gosh, I never thought I'd see the day when someone killed off Luna and I was HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! This was so beautiful and, trust me, the chronology was kick-arse. Your writing is amazing!!! :)Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you so much for all of your wonderful compliments! Needless to say, they were extremely unexpected, but I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed it. I also really appreciate your feedback on the chronology. It's been a huge dividing point for the readers, so I'm really pleased to hear that you enjoyed it.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review ♥. Report Review
Review Challenge #1:
You did beautifully with the chronology of the piece. I was a bit confused at first, but then I figured it out and thought it was cool. I hope that was your intention. If not, it was still a good job.
I think you did give Luna a fitting death; she would have wanted something that happened because of her work with magical creatures, I think. And it was very in character to have her watching the falling stars. Beautiful.
9/10Author's Response: It was my intention and I'm extremely pleased that you liked it! It's been a little bit of a sticking point for readers, but the fact that at least some people out there liked it has been a very supportive thing to hear.
Luna's a bit of a tricky one, but I definitely couldn't pass up the opportunity to write her death. I wanted to do something a little different and unusual for it, because that's the sort of person Luna was. To have her die in a very mundane way just wasn't a possibility for me. It was a little AU in that she died relatively young, but it was an interesting piece to write.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review - I hope you succeed in your challenge! ♥
I loved this story! You portrayed Luna amazingly, described her just as I imagined her and put words to some things in her character that I have not been able to.
I also loved the chronology, it made the story even more interesting and unique. For us to gradually find out what killed her was really clever and I liked how you mentioned Rolf.
All in all, fantastic! 10/10!
/JAuthor's Response: Oh wow, those are such huge compliments for me to hear! She's a little bit hard to pin down, but I just felt so pleased to be giving it a go.
Ah, the controversial chronology :P. Some people found it confusing, some people were indifferent and some people loved it. My main aim behind it was to show how different Luna was. Her death couldn't be conventional and, in my eyes, neither could a story written about it be.
I'm so incredibly pleased that you enjoyed this XD. Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
May I first apologize for the time it has taken for me to stumble upon such a lovely fic. I have seen it here and there, and the name has intrigued me, but at first glance I thought it was only one chapter and wanted to wait to see if the story would keep being updated(I hate getting hooked on a story and then the author abandons it after a few posts) It was only after I investigated further that I noticed you had completed it with only one chapter. What a chapter it was!
I would like to say that I absolutely love the way you arranged the story. The chronology was just right in my opinion. It gave the reader a chance to adjust to the fact that Luna was going to die, and that she had excepted it. Luna has always been struck through with an inner confidence that others only dream of possessing. She embraces that quality so completely in every quality of her life, and you show that she embraces it in her death just as gracefully.
Your descriptions were distinct and wonderfully eloquent, painting vivid and brilliant imagery. I absolutely loved the intro, it was by far my favorite bit and one of the most beautiful death sequences I've ever read anywhere. This may seem a bit morbid, but that is exactly how I would picture Luna perishing, surrounded by beauty and wonder, content in her own awe. Bravo, darling, simply wonderful. A feast for the imagination.
The detail with Rolf Scamander was a nice historical touch, since Newt Scamander was the actual writer of Fantastic Beasts. I always like to see authors go to the trouble of researching the material they have in their fics. You have clearly done so, another plus :)
I got a nice warm glow from the scene with the swing set. It was a wonderful perception on human nature and the drastic change between childhood and maturity. It also did a great job of establishing Luna's carefree tenacity and intuitive regard. Rowling always made me believe that those observing Luna think her quite dim, but she sees exactly how they perceive her, and can just as easily use it against them. This girl is not dim, she is in fact, quite the contrary. You do a wonderful job of revealing how she portrays people; seeing all of their aspects and personality traits, in the blink of an eye. It is something of a gift in some people, this perception, and something Luna possesses in abundance.
I also enjoyed all of the eccentric creatures that surely graced the pages of the Quibbler coming to life in your story. That detail made this the perfect tribute to Luna in my opinion. My only question is, if it wasn't the harmless Slytherin mascot that bit her...What in the world was it? She did only catch sight of it's tail. Hmm...I suppose a little mystery is needed to complete this well-rounded work of artistry. Wow, sorry I took up so much space. I tend to ramble when I get excited.
Again, Bravo! I do hope that you continue to cultivate your wonderful talent :) Report Review
That was so beautiful. Your descriptions were excellent, and the way you worked backwards was unique and just... great... I wish I could come up with better words to describe that. (I need better words!) 10/10Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so very much! Descriptions really aren't always my strong point, so that is such a huge compliment for me. I'm SO pleased that you enjoyed this -blushes-.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review &hearts Report Review
one constructive critique that i have is that the part right when she dies should be moved tot he end. so the chronology is reversed, but then it ends with her death. it was great though, really reallly good. im aobut to go check to see if you have any other stories!Author's Response: That's a very interesting point! I'll definitely have another look at the story and see if a little bit of re-jigging the order would work ♥. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! I've got quite a few other bits and pieces, so I'm sure that you'll find something to your taste.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Report Review
amazing so sad! luna is so awesome.Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I completely agree with you; Luna is amazing!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review ^_^ Report Review
Perhaps I should have read this one backwards. Nothing of your fault, of course, I just thought that things were mising. I like that this about Luna searching for the Fantanstic Beasts. That's definately in character for her. (I did not know that JKR actually wrote that book.) I don't think that the meteorite thing works, even for Luna. Especially, in the first passage, it seems you mention this meteor thing over and over again. At first, I thought that she had gotten hit by them, but that sounded too fantasy.
I must say that after that confusion, I liked that she was doing things like working with Rolf on projects. The point about him being an older researcher is interesting because there aren't that many who are as weird as she. I can see they ended up together while spending their lives researching. Xeno would be proud.
I like the seing scene. That was down-to-earth. What can I say? I like differents stories. One thing that I would pay attention to, other than that frst passage, is how you mention the bruise. Instaed of it just being therere, it should slowly deteriorarate her body. I like thst she dedicated her life to this.
Please respond and return the favour,
8/10Author's Response: Hello Sleeping Paige,
Well, if you'd read it backwards I suppose it would have defeated the purpose if me writing in reverse chronology, but it's helpful to hear your opinion on it anyway. Yes, JK has written quite a number of little companion books for the series, and since Luna turns out to be a Magizoologist I thought it was only fitting that I went along with that theme. I'll try and clear some of that confusion about the meteor up, but I hope you don't mind me asking why exactly you thought it didn't work?
Yeah, I couldn't really help mentioning him :P. It was too tempting. Yes, I suppose I thought that if he'd been around the same age as her then they would have found each other at this point, unfortunately this fic is a bit AU in the respect that they never really get together. Yes, I dare say he would have been.
Luna has a carefree, uninhibited nature and I'm glad that I was able to project that though the playground scene during the story. Do you mean the poison? I think I showed that it slowly spread through her body, but I'll check up on that.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review with all your opinions. Report Review
this is amazing! you're a very good author. I really like how you mentioned Rolf in the story. the writing is almost poetic but sort of not- if that makes sense. i really enjoyed it.Author's Response: Oh wow! I'm so glad that you liked this piece ^_^. Ah, yes, I couldn't help but include Rolf - he's hardly ever seen in fan fiction!
I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
That was a beautiful one-shot. You captured the emotion very well and the fact that she died out in the open, surrounded by nature is very like her. Also, the chronology worked very well, because the order in which you wrote it was unconventional, just like Luna. Great job 10/10Author's Response: I'm so absolutely flattered that you think so. Capturing the essence of Luna isn't an easy feat, and to have some of the people who read this one shot feel like I achieved it really makes me proud.
I'm so thrilled that you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. Report Review
Luna is my favourtie female character so it's alwasy great to come across stories soley about her. This was a lovely one shot, I thought you catpured the essance of Luna really well, and even though the chronology was backwards and let us kow what was happening straight off, it didn't spoil the story at all and was easy to follow.
Very well written, I really enjoyed it!!Author's Response: For Staff Challenge 5 killing off your favourite character was the aim, and I couldn't think of anyone I liked more than Luna, so it's great that you're a fan too! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it too! It also makes me so pleased that you thought the chronology worked well - it was an experiment for me and confused a few people, but I'm glad that someone out there liked it :P.
Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing. It's very much appreciated. Report Review
i like it! i think the way you wrote it backwards actually works well- it kind of suits luna being as unconventional as she is =) thanks xAuthor's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! That's what U was thinking when I wrote it. Luna isn't average and I really wanted to capture some of her personality in the story ^_^.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a nice review! Report Review
the chronology was a little confusing, but sweet. i liked it *because* it was different--very good. i think, though, that you should maybe do some follow ups (just a few) of what the other people thought about her dying. i think that would be very sweet. :) Great job!Author's Response: I'll try and clear up the chronology a little but, as a few people have mentioned being confused, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it despite that! Maybe I'll pop an author's note in at the start ^_^. I'm not sure if I'll have the time, as I'm working on quite a few projects at the moment, but feel free to check out my author page!
Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
this was a very different, amazingly spectacular one-shot. i love Luna and i definitely loved this story. keep up the wonderful work. i wish you the best of luck with your writing career on this site.Author's Response: Wow, I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Luna's an amazing character and I just couldn't think of anyone better to write about for the challenge ^_^.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I'm thrilled that you liked it. Report Review
I don't know what to say. You understand Luna so well. I always liked Luna because she was so dreamy, carefree, everything felt lighter once she entered the picture. And you really managed to capture that, the very essence of Luna.
The pace of it was sweet and mellow, though so, so sad as the reader knew what was coming. Still it wasn't tragic, you know? One feels okay with her death, even though it's upsetting. Why? I guess it's because she's content with it, she understands that death is inevitable, and she knows she's got nothing to regret. By your writing, all this really transferred to the reader. I swear I felt it. This was a lovely read. And the reverse chronology worked well with me. It was different from the usual, therefore good. Just...wonderful job, Jane. :)Author's Response: To be perfectly honest, I don't quite know what to say either! You're too nice to me, Lol. I think not writing this is first person was probably the best decision I could have made, because doing this from Luna's POV would've been so much harder. Striking that balance of carefree innocence and that innate knowledge she seems to have would have been extremely difficult.
I know, I had to choose a character to kill off for this, but I decided to put a sort of bittersweet twist on it, rather than go for outright depression. Luna is just one in a million and I felt like her death couldn't just be like any other and spending her day panicking just wasn't her. I adore her.
You're actually leaving me with no words here. I'm so pleased that the story managed to speak to you in this way and that you liked the swing scene. I think everyone has sort of recognised it as a Luna thing. There's no need to explain why she's there, she just is and it's because she's her. I'm glad you enjoyed the chronology and I hope it helped you out with yours in some way!
Liz, ILY! XDDD Report Review
Wow. I think this worked really well. And it's very fitting because Luna would want to be remembered for how she lived, not died. Every little segment is a perfect characterization of what Luna would grow up to be. Very well written. 10/10Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much XD!
That's exactly what I was going for. Luna lived for the moment and so a lot of those moments would have been special. There's no doubt she would have led a memorable life.
Thank you SO much for all your compliments! I'm glad you enjoyed it ^_^. Report Review
So, Jane, listen here, because I'm going to make this short and sweet. Are you ready? *clears throat*
This was AMAZING. I liked the chronology of it and the fact that you denoted the sections with Roman numerals. Being the slightly bizarre person that I am, I have a thing for Roman numerals. Aside from the sequence of the events, I loved the descriptions.
Holy pop culture reference, were they amazing. And they fit Luna to a tee. The one scene in particular that captured my attention both character-wise and description-wise was the swinging scene. I could see an adult Luna laughing joyfully to herself, completely oblivious to the stares of those around her. It seemed very Luna-ish, and I'm really glad that you included it.
So, yeah, maybe I lied when I said this was going to be short and sweet, but I'm a rambler and things happen.
IT WAS LOVELY, JANE! A BIZILLION OUT OF TEN.
Author's Response: I am ready and listening, but probably going to deny everything you say about Frozen Chips.
I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the chronology! It definitely had the potential for confusion, but hopefully it made a little bit of sense :P. Roman Numerals are cool, although I made a horrid mistake with them that Rachel had to stare at in disgust and then correct XD. I was ashamed.
Thank you very much -blushes-. I'm glad you thought so XD. I am not the most descriptive writer in the world (AT ALL), so it's great to hear that these were effective. I think the hardest part of this was trying to capture Luna, so I had to do it in a style where I could be detached, but still tell her story in a way that could get people a little emotional :P.
Rambling is cool. It is all sweet.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU DELUSIONAL EEJIT! ILY!
xx Report Review
How unique! The chronology was a bit confusing, but it all came together in the end and worked nicely. I liked it!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll have a look through it and see if there's any way that I can clear it up a bit. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it, so thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
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