Reading Reviews for Hiding Bruises
300 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Soccergirl14 Brunch.

14th November 2012:
Hey!!! You!!! Update! Don't just leave this AWSOME story!

Author's Response: Aww cheers, and one day it will happen I promise you. Got exams soon so may begin writing this again to put of revision!

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Review #2, by shapeshifter98 Being Noticed

16th September 2012:
I know it's been a year but I hope you come back to this :/

Author's Response: Thanks! Really nice to know people want to see more- and I will someday but cannot make any promises on how soon!

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Review #3, by Parvati_Khatri Brunch.

27th March 2012:
WOW!!! I liked it, but it was really short!!! :( like really short!!! );
Sorry, but I it was not exactly exciting either... :( I still like it though. But please, please, please, please, please, update!

Author's Response: Hello again,
Thanks so much for the review! That one was really short, I'm going to start on a new one soon though and promise to make it as long and exciting as I can manage!
All the best,
Lily :)

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Review #4, by Parvati_Khatri Dreamings

27th March 2012:
AHHH!!! I hate Marlene! She acts so.
Sorry for the short review, but I love it as always!!!

Author's Response: Heyyaw,
Thanks for the review! I know- Marlene's a horror.
More from me soon hopefully!
Lily :)

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Review #5, by The Sapphire Pheonix Brunch.

26th January 2012:
Please please please write a new chapter.

Author's Response: Heyy,
Thanks so much for reviewing!
It's years now since I've been on here but I've got the writing bug back and think I remember where I wanted this story to go so will have some new chapters up soon I think!
Lily :)

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Review #6, by GobletEcho Brunch.

9th September 2011:
Hiya... PLEASE write more, my friend and I LOVE your story!!!
1O/1O :D

Author's Response: Aha, thanks that really makes me smile :) I'm going to try and get round to it asap- just very busy atm :/
Lily ^_^

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Review #7, by Nadia Brunch.

11th August 2011:
Hiya, I love the story you're writing, I've never written a review before but I just had to for this. I love Sirius' personality and I think it's written really well. I can wait for the rest!!:Dx

Author's Response: Heyy,
Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I fully appreciate it! Glad you like the characterisation I've worked hard on it!
Hoping to have some new chapters soon!
Lily :)

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Review #8, by Danceing Brunch.

11th August 2011:
I like the whole plot but I wish that the chapters were longer it makes me sad because I want to read more. Keep up the writing it lookes like it will be really good

Author's Response: Glad you've enjoyed reading!
Planning to get back onto this story and will try and provide longer chapters from now on!
Lily :)

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Review #9, by whereistherestofit Brunch.

27th April 2011:
I appear to have made my desprate plead for you to write more on the wrong chapter xD
I loe it still :D

Author's Response: Aha, indeed you did!
New chapter should be up asap!
Thanks for reviewing :))

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Review #10, by Whereistherestofit? Dreamings

27th April 2011:
Where is the rest of it!? D;
Dont do this to me!!!
Please keep writing liek this.
I love it x

Author's Response: Glad you like it, but there is one more up already :P
Lily :)

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Review #11, by Blue Biro Brunch.

17th April 2011:
Aw such a good chapter! Really, really loved it! You are amazing!!! Becky :)

Author's Response: Thanks!
Sorry I'm taking so long to get new chapter up :/
Lily :)

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Review #12, by Dani_saur Brunch.

20th March 2011:
Have I reviewed this yet? I can't seem to remember but I love it and Bellatrix needs to go fall in a hole :) Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Aha, I don't know but thanks for reviewing now! More should be up soon!
Lily :)

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Review #13, by gingersnape Brunch.

12th March 2011:
Okay, gingersnape here one last time until an update here with your chapter. I have a few things not raltated to the chapter, so I'll quickly get throug my comments on the chapter, then have the other things.

So, I liked the pillow fight in the morning as it was something that was plaugil and yet it was like a visual of the tension that must have been in that room! Marlene sure is a pain, but I kind of feel bad for how concentrated on what she wants to believe that she over reactors when the bitter truth finally reaches her.

As for the girly gossiping, I really liked how you wrote that scene and I felt like I was really there, squeeing with the girls. :)

Aww! *swoon* Sirius and Tina are SO perfect for each other! Oh I just love them together to pieces! I hope Bella doesn't actually beak them up! :(

Spelling and Grammar: You have a fantastic beta; I didn't see any runaway typos this time Good luck going through the other chapters! (Hopefully in less time than it took me to get through them! :C)
Pacing and Flow: Again, great flow in the chapter!
Overall, it was a nice way to show the after the party relationships between the characters and was really well done. No CC for this!

Now, onto a descision that I have spent a lot of time thinking about, even if I haven't had the reviews for you to show it, which is precisely why I have had to make this descision. After nearly two months of not reviewing and having Hiding Bruises continually going to the back of the queue, jaunting my to-do list, and putting you in a really rotten and unfair position, I would like to take this story off of a project story and just do it through the normal review queue so we don't have any more lulls in reviewing. This is completely my fault for not being able to prioritize these well, and I apologize for making you wait for so long and have to go to the queue for this, but I think it is going to be the best way to get you good, well thought out reviews in on time. I am also going to take my othe Project story off of Project, and I don't mind if you decide not to request any more reviews or if you request for every chapter until it's done, but I think this is the best way to go. Feel free to PM me about it if you have any questions or suggestions on a better solution, or if you want to send me an angry rant, or cookies. I like cookies, but if there's anything else you need, I'm only a PM away. Have a great day and I'll see you on the forums,

Author's Response: Hi, it feels a bit like the end of an era right now! I guess I'll just have to write more chappies for you to review!

I loved writing those little girly bits so I'm glad you thought it worked well!

Ahh, well you will just have to wait and see on the Bella front!

Woop woop for my beta!

Ok, that's fine with me, I will definately be requesting once I have a new chapter up!

Thanks so much for all your wonderous reviews!
Lily :)

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Review #14, by gingersnape Dreamings

12th March 2011:
Okie dokie, let's get into this, shall we?
So I think I'm just going to do a quick few sentences on each character, and then end with the usual stuff. Sound good? :)

Lily: I liked how you didn't give her the cliched, "Oh I wish I had seen sense sooner" reaction, not only because it's fairly cliched, but mostly because I didn't think that would fit your Lily and the reaction you gave her fit your character really well. I also liked how even dream-Lily wouldn't cheat. It was a nice touch. :)

Sirius: Hehe, he had a great dream that did a wonderful job of portraying the emotional stress and ego deflation his he must have been under during the incident with Tina running away after their kiss. Poor guy.

Emmeline: Aww, she had a sweet little blurb thing! I liked how she had always liked him, but it took a long time for them to get together. I like Remus/Emmeline a lot. :)

Marlene: Hehe, her whining made me laugh, but I liked the irony of how she thought Tina didn't have any problems, when she considered a blush sharing issue a problem in itself. That was a nice touch, as she seems to think she knows a lot... but she;s also very oblivious.

Remus: Again, AWWW! They are just so sweet and I hope Remus and Em stay together forever! :)

Peter: I kind of want to say "Awww" to him too because he seems like... me? (Except I'm much louder about my opinions and my loyalties when it matters) but I did feel like I connected to him most, with him saying about being an actor and not knowing what to do. And watching Star Wars. :) (But he can have Marlene. :P)

James: Okay, here's one more "Aww" because James had a sweet reaction and he is a sweet guy so long as he isn't around Lily and all intimidated by her.

Tina: Oh my goodness... Tina was powerful to read! Her dream almost made me want to cry there was so much emotion behind it! Now, I am a cryer. (Finding Nemo, Puppies for Dummies, you name it, I will cry at the emotional scenes, and I don't mind it at all, but I'm pretty good at judging the emotion behind things, and that was one powerful dream and some amazing writing!)

Okay, last review of the night coming up!

Author's Response: Hey, I've been looking forward to this review as this is a chapter that's a bit of an experiment and really want to know if it works!

Lily: I hate that cliched 'I wish I'd seen sense sooner' malarky! I just don't think it goes with Lily at all!

Sirius: Hehe, he is going under a big of serious ago deflation in this story, isn't he? I feel quite sorry for him tbh...

Emm: They are just too gosh darn cute for words. I wanted to show in this bit that although things seem to be going fast, Emmeline and Remus have actually liked each other for a long time and are both quite shy so haven't done anything before now!

Marlene: Yeah, she is a bit of a know-it-all and I wanted to show that here! I find characters that take themselves too seriously really funny so I enjoyed writing this bit!

Remus: Awww, I know! I wish that could happen also, but this isn't going to be an AU I'm afraid and him and Tonks are also pretty good so yeahh... go Teddy!

Peter: It's really nice that you connected with him since I was quite nervous about writing him since he's a bit odd. I love star wars- so I kind of used him to just get that out there ;P It fits with his character anyway I think.

James: He really is a sweet guy and I wanted to get that out there- you hit the nail on the head when you said he's intimidated by Lily though! :)

Tina: Aww, that you sooo much, I'm glad it touched you and yeahh, awww, thanks!

Ok, last response of the morning coming up!

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Review #15, by gingersnape Countdown

12th March 2011:
Okie dokie, here's another gushing review for you! (I've kind of run out of thigns to give you CC on, if you havn't noticed yet :D) So, yes, it was predictable, yes, it was adorable, and no, there is no real problem with the whole getting together at New Years thing! :) And because this is a fangirly gushing review, I'm just going to split it up into paragraphs by ship!

Sirius/Tina: YAY YAY YAY! They kissed! Twice in a day! SQUEE! I loved how you brought in both the sweetness of their kissing and being all together, but then also the darker side of it with Tina wanting to make sure everything was hidden and her eorries about Sirius playing in the back of her mind in her happiness.

Emmeline/Remus: I had been secretly hoping for this ship for a while, though I didn't ever actually think about it no did I think it would happen, so I was very happy when it di happen! Yay!!

James/Lily: Finally! Finally, finally, finally! Oh I love how they got together and the line about embarrassing Liky was so sweet!

Spelling and Grammar: Other than the occasional typo, this looked pretty good!
Pacing and Flow: It kept me on the edge of my... bed? You get the idea; it was amazing!
Overall, this was definitely a squee worthy chapter and I'm getting sad we're almost done with this long review fest!

Author's Response: Heyy, *does a little KERCHING thing with her arm because she has no CC*

Sirius/Tina: I was worried the kissing might be getting too cliched but apparently it works :P Glad you like that, as I do want to stop this form being a completely girly cliched love thingy by having the darker underflows!

Em/Remus: I think they are uber cute and couldn't resist giving them their kiss! They are just right for each other methinks.

James/Lily: Glad you liked it!

Edge of the bed is good, I think ;P
Aww, I'm sad that my response fest is nearly over also!

Lily :)

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Review #16, by gingersnape The White Blanket

12th March 2011:
Oh my, well wasn't this an exciting chapter? I know I found it super exciting! And I still can't wait for this party everyone keeps talking about! :)

So, let's start at the very beginning! (It's a very good place to start...) Well, I don't have any CC about this chapter, so i think it's just going to be my opinions, and then ending with my condensed spelling and grammar, pacing and flow, and overall opinion. And I really really apologize for only having like 200-300 words in my reviews! I'm trying to get through them all and still have a little bit of time to sleep, so I'm not spending the usual half hour or fourty-five minutes each review deserves, and the quality is severly lacking. That, and it might get repetitive to get eleven reviews that are all 700-800 words long because there's only so much you can say in a few hours. Oh, and it's now nearly three, so I'm getting a bit worried if these even make grammatical sense. I apologize if these don't make any sense and are littered with typos. I'm not as good at picking them up in the hours of the morning than I am after a good long read through! Okay, I think my disclaimer is over, but good luck getting through the reviews! :)

So, Marlene is back, is she? *dies* This can't be good, especially if Bella's here again! I liked how Marlene was too cool for snow in a way, it put Tina over her in just a wee sense and made me smile a bit to know Tina was better liked by Sirius than Marlene as far as I could tell.

Speaking of our friend Mr. Black, the whole landing in the snow scene was adorable and then Bella's warning was so scary! There were so many emotions running through me all at once and wow, just wow!

Okie dokie, that's pretty much all I have for now because this was just a really good chapter as far as they go!

Spelling and Gramamr: was good! As always, it was the same is it usually is with the occasional "snow angles" (I love math typos! I squeed and considered asking you to keep it in if you edit for typos) but it's not littered with spelling and grammar issues, so you're pretty good! :)
Pacing and Flow: Smooth and entertaining
Overall, you guessed it, I liked it! :)
*tear* It seems I must leave this chapter for the next one! Wow, we really are getting close to the end of the posted chapters, aren't we? That's hard to believe!

Author's Response: Aha, the party will come, don't you worry! :)

Aha, I love the sound of music! Your reviews are still wonderful (though I can tell that you are lacking in sleep... :P) thanks so much for all of them, they really are appreciated!

Well, of course Sirius likes Tina better, he is not a complete idiot! :D Glad you liked the snow bit, and Bella hadn't put in an appearance for a while so I felt I needed to get that in just so you didn't forget about her!

Ahaha, I don't know how I missed "snow angles" but it's pretty hilarious! Maybe I'll leave it in, just as a little shout out for all the mathematically inclined HP geeks out there! (I know you're all there, you can't hide from me...)

Aww, it's sad, is it not... but the great news is more will be up soon!

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Review #17, by gingersnape Relax

12th March 2011:
Okay, I have two words to sum up this chapter (and that's the end of my review... :P) BAHAHAHAHA and AW ("Finally: also fits well! :D)

Lily was so funny when they were all decorating in the Room of Requirement! Sirius said it well, though I can't repeat the very well put description of her in my review because of the whole 12+ things. :P Anyway, that was a great scene that was filled to the brim with witty banter, funny lines, and general Lily insanity all around! Now, let me get to the really juicy stuff with our dear friends out getting food!

YAY! Oh I am sooo glad they finally had their lips lock and it was so romantic and everything! (Yeah, as you may have noticed, this is going to be a strictly gushing review. I don't have any CC for you, so it's all fangirling from here on out! :D) I loved how you set up the scene so it was something I was hoeing was going to happen, btu it wasn't predictable and I honestly squeed out loud when I read it! Oh it was fantastic!!

Spelling and Grammar: Great, as usual! :)
Pacing and Flow: Very smooth, very good
Overall, in case you didn't notice amidst my squeezing and squealing, this was a great, CC free chapter! Good job!
Woop, I'm off for more since I just can't wait any longer! :) *waves goodbye*

Author's Response: Hey, I like those words- those are goood words! Wait, end of your review? what? no? what? oh, it was a joke... you scared me there for a second :P

I'm glad you liked it all! I really like the crazy Lily bits too!

Yay! I'm so glad you like it, I'm sorry it took me soo long! I just like to torture you you see... jokeys! :P Awww *squeels and jumps up and down* your reviews make me soo happy :DD

Thanks for the review!!
Lily :D

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Review #18, by gingersnape Love Struck Git

12th March 2011:
Who can't wait for the party? Say aye? *jumps up and down* AYE! AYE! (captain! :P)

Alright, let's get started without heir preparations shall ew? This was a great chapter, not only because of the Marlene drama, but also just all of the getting ready and build up for the party! WOOP! :D

I'm glad most (notice not all... I wonder who...) of the girl's in Tina's dorm are noticing her now, as it's nice for her to get those little compliments on something that she's wearing or anything at all, just to see how far she's come. All I can think to say about the getting ready for the day is to be careful about the style of the time and just be careful to make sure it fits toe 70s. I don't really know too much about the fashions of the time, but I would recommend looking it up, as a good reference to have. :)

Now... let's dig up some dirt on one little problem. Guess who? I'll give you a hint! tarts with an "M" and ends with an "Arlene" :D What on earth is she doing draping herself all over Siriurs? I get that he likes someone who's a little more... physical shall we say, but we were so close with getting Sirius and Tina to admit they liked each other! Then I'm torn between wanting Marls to be with Sirius so Bella can't hurt Sirius, but then Tina's going to get hurt, and boy did you to a good job of leaving me clinging to every word because of the tossing and turning emotions welling up inside of me!

The getting ready for the party was nice, and I liked how you ended the chapter without eh ups and downs of being known thing from Tina! It really was the cherry on top of a well written chapter!

Spelling and Grammar: Same as usual with a few things off, but not too shabby overall.
Pacing and Flow: Really gripping when I read that Marlene was with (or rather on) Sirius and was great the rest of the chapter.
Overall, really...wait for it... Great! :)
See you in a bit,

Author's Response: Aha, I think the lack of sleep may be getting to you... but still loving the reviews ;P

Parttay, woop woop!

I never thought of the fashion stuff- I'll try and give it a look sometime! Thanks, that's a really great idea :)

Urgg, I know, I know, she is an absolute fool of a girl! Well, that is the dilema you see :) And I think the reason Sirius let her do this is because he's never really been this close to an actual meaningful relationship- and like the majority of men, he is scared by the idea :/ *pats self of back for welling emotions*

Aww, thanks, that's great stuff!

See you in a sec,
Lily :D

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Review #19, by gingersnape Tingle

12th March 2011:
Hello again, it's gingersnape once more! (I have a feeling you could have guessed that from my name at the top of the review, but I still like to say my name because it makes the reviews look super important! Doesn't "gingersnape" sound like an important person's name? :P)

Let's dig into this with a three turns counter clockwise and a nice long chat about our Potions lesson today! Mmm, well wasn't this a steamy lesson in terms of relationship development between James and Lily and Tina and Sirius? They really at least turned the fire on so that there is room in the future for their love I know is hidden deep inside to burn! (I'm sticking with this Potions lesson metaphor, even if it is bad. :P)

Anyway, I liked how they made Lily have her usual little temper, though I did feel like James was not as bright as I thought he might be, considering he was an animagus and Head Boy, so I think he might be at least a bit better at Potions. However, all of his lines were funny, so I'd say you're fairly okay keeping him where he is.

The Sirius/Tina chit chatting was great! Hehe, I blushed for Tina when she blushed as they mentioned dreams. :) And the "girls are weird" line made me laugh as soon as I read it. Hehe, they really have the best conversations!

The plan especially was a really nice way to tie in that Tina isn't oblivious to what Sirius was trying to do, and I did have to keep my "Awww" ing down as it's now just past two am. :P

Spelling and Grammar: Same as usual. There was the odd "me" instead of "I" and misplaced comma, but it was really pretty good!
Pacing and Flow: Just the right speed to keep the chapter a wonderful read!
Overall, yet another great chapter, and you should be able to look up and see me again pretty soon! :)

Author's Response: Hello, hello, hello, Gingersnape does sound like a very important persons name indeed *curtsies*

Well, wow, what a wonderfully metaphor filled para. I'm guessing it's trying to say something good- so thanks! ;P

Maybe I made him a bit too dumb- but I think it's also the effect being around Lily has on him :) And he is a vair vair funny young gent!

I'm glad you like their convos! I like writing them and think they are pretty gosh darn cute if I may say so myself! :D

Aha, wow, thanks for staying up so late to review this! I appreciate it muchly!

*looks up* I see you! I see you!

Lily :)

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Review #20, by gingersnape Morning Chit-Chat

12th March 2011:
Oooh, wasn't this a great chapter, though my heart ached for poor Tina in the ending when she came back to her realization about what was to come.

You really can tell a lot about a woman from what her make up counter looks like. (Mine is mostly covered with earrings. Everywhere. A very small portion of it is actually holding makeup. I think it fits my personality. :D) Lily's also seemed to fit her and it was a nice description you had of her neat and tidy organizational skills that had to be in the right order. It just summer her up very well.

Speaking of great ways of showing characters, the little playful fight James and Sirius had was my favorite part of the chapter. It definitly captured their cute brotherly relationship and was a wonderful way of making both me, and probably Tina, feel closer to the bys because we were sort of "in" on the little ruffles the rest of the world doesn't get to see when they think of the Marauders.

The ending of the chapter was really chilling because most of the chapter was happy, but as I said before, my heart really did fall for Tina when I remembered all of the stress the poor girl must be under.

Spelling and Grammar: Pretty good for the most part. :)
Pacing and Flow: Lovely, just the right sped.
Overall opinion: Another great chapter!

And I'll be right above this review in a minute! :)

Author's Response: Heyy,

Makeup is vair vair vair important in a woman's life- I'm glad someone else appreciates that! I didn't want to go into too much detail in case I allienate half my readers ;) maybe I'll do a special chappie just for the girls describing everyone's makeup counters (Bella's would be interesting, don't you think :P)

Aww, I love love love 'em! They are just so gosh darn cute with their little play fights. Yeahh, I wanted to show that Tina was getting closer to them :D I didn't want to get too fluffy but I do love their little play fights...

Mwahahaha, you have been struck by the Pathos bunny! I got cha! Hehe :P

Thanks for another great review!

Lily :)

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Review #21, by gingersnape The Dirty Details

12th March 2011:
Hello again dearie! (Great chapter image by the way! It fits perfectly with the chapter and really looks great! :D)

Mmm, mmm, mmm, is Bella insane or what? When I first read this chapter and reread it a million times in disbelief of her evilness, I was just really drawn in by how you showed Bella's character as going beyond creepy and into like... creepier? o.O I am descriptionless. There is not a single word in any of my thesauri that can describe Bella, and having thumbed through these beloved books daily, I can tell you there are a lot of words hidden in those pages!

And then the third person bit was really amazing because I felt like it was a geat addition to the chapter in that the way it wad written complimented the Bella scene perfectly. Remus' reaction the the events that had happened earlier were in character and other than how his dialogue did feel a little forced, I'd say it was a good section.

Hmm, I can't think of much more to say because the rest of the chapter went swimmingly and I didn't see anywhere to give CC on them. In answer to your question about the POV switches, I'd say that I like how they all compliment each other nicely and really bring out the differences in each chapter as well as bring more than just Tina into the story. I like them and hope to see more of them as I solider on throughout the night! :)

See you in a few minutes,

Author's Response: Hello! Well, you have the lovely talented people at TDA to thank for that! :D

Aha, she is a creepy deeky character! I don't want to overdo it but I also get kind of carried away when I'm writing her and also want to show that she was completely evil- even when she was in school!

Thanks, glad you liked it!

That's all good! I like writing from different POVs so I'll try and keep doing that :)


ps- the normal layout seems to be fading... where is spelling and gramming? where is pace and flow?? Nahh, I joke, I joke, I still loves your reviews muchly :DD

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Review #22, by gingersnape Fireman's Lift

12th March 2011:
Hello again, tis gingersnape with your review for Chapter 11!

So, the usual format format for the review, and without further ado, let the reviewing commence!

The scene with Tina in the hospital wing was interesting and I was glad that she did go to see Madam Pomfrey. It was funny seeing that Madam Pomfrey didn't know her even though Tina is one of the more injured students, mostly because she doesn't go to see Madam Pomfrey. Two highly nitpicked things. First, wouldn't Madam Pomfrey have seen all of the bruises when she looked at Tina's wound? That, and why were James and Peter in the hospital wing? I didn't really understand what they were doing there if the other patient wasn't revealed and they didn't say anything to Tina.

I love the scenes with Molly so far. I know they aren't hugely important, btu I think Molly is such a nice character, even if she isn't quite as friendly as Lily. I'm curious to see how Tina's fresh air (hehe, I'm actually listening to Fresh Air on NPR right now :D) excuse will hold up, though I think she won't last too too long with it!

Spelling and Grammar: Hmm, well I noticed at the beginning you had "see" instead of "she" but that would be the biggest typo that I noticed. There were some others, but not too many. Good job on that!

Pacing and Flow: As usual, there were some spots that were not quite as smooth as others, but it did end up coming together quite well and I wouldn't say there were any overall major things that needed to be fixed or thought over!

Overall, another great chapter that I enjoyed and can't think of much else in the way of CC to give you. There is probably something I am missing, but I really can't put my finger on it or even come up with a general idea of something that needs CC on it!

Very lovely chapter, and onto Chapter 12 now! (Eeek, my reviews are getting shorter and shorter, but I can't think of anything else to say, so I guess they are going to be short then, right? :C)


Author's Response: Hello again, tis Lily with your reply to your review of chapter 11!

To the first nitpick- she may have, or she may not have but from what we have seen in the books it seems like Madam Pomfrey doesn't really push students to tell her what actually happened- she just heals them (like in whichever book it is where Ron gets the dragon bite) Well, if you don't know who the other patient was then that will remain a mystery to you... but I will say this... it was the full moon last night. Very large hint I know but it's not something that's very crucial to the story so I thought I might as well give it away. They didn't say anything to Tina because they didn't want her to figure out who they were visiting... :/

Well, they're not dumb so I don't think it will hold up that long... glad you like the Mollster!

Thanks for pointing it out, I will one day get round to proof reading this story :/

Thanks! And it's quality over quantity you know! ;P


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Review #23, by gingersnape Forgetting Pain

12th March 2011:
Hello, gingersnape *dodges tomato* here *ducks under couch* with a review!

Okay, I am determined that you will wake up with 11 unanswered reviews on Hiding Bruises tomorrow morning, so I shall knock all of them out tonight, because I am really getting tired of wallowing in shame and I imagine you have waited long enough for chapters 10-20! ONWARDS!

So, you know the drill: my comments in order that they appear, and then the spelling and grammar, pacing and flow, and my overall opinion of the chapter!

Oh I was so happy to see that the girls cared about Tina! I still get the warm fuzzes from reading that she has friends now, even though I've sort of known it for a while by now.

This really doesn't have to do with much of anything, but it made me happy to see that Molly seemed to show her motherly characteristic by trying to get Tina up and everything. Just a minor detail, but I felt like it did add something to the scene because Molly really did seem to like Tina.

I have to say, I've never read a Marlene this viscous, but I think that I really like how she is shown. There really hasn't been a major forename character before now; the hated rival has always been Bellatrix and company, but now that Marlene has gone from friend to foe like that, it seems to add a bit of tension to the story and bring back that essence of Tina not really being liked by all of her Gryffie roomies, though in a new and different way this time.

Ahh, so she was outside last night, but I still don't quite get how that worked. Is she an animagus, was that her patronus, is she a werewolf now? So many questions are running through my head right now! Will it all be explained later or have I not picked up on the details? I'm a bit confused right now.

Ahh, so now you've got me wondering what exactly Bella is up to because it just is not like her to not show up. I'm really curious (actually, I know what happens as I've read on, but you've somehow managed to keep me really captivated and filled with wonder even though I know what was there, which is quite a feat!) and I know the first time I read it, I felt like something had to be up, but then Sirius overpowered the curiosity and I had this mix of emotions and it was amazing!

Spelling and Grammar: The usual. Not too bad, nothing really disrupting the reading. Just a few things.

Pacing and Flow: I felt like this was one of the more suspenseful chapters thus far in the story, and you did a really good job of keeping that suspense going while keeping the story together and keeping it smooth.

And my overall opinion was very positive. I felt like you did a good job of adding the mystery while not having ti be an in your face cliffhanger, which is often quite difficult to do. I would say this is one of my favorite chapters of your so far and I'll be right up there in a bit! See, right above this guy in your unanswered reviews box! (Okay, I know you can't see me, but I'm pointing up right now! :D)

Have a good day and see you soon,

Author's Response: Hello! I am so so sorry it's taken me soo long to reply! It's just that I wanted time to, you know, like, um, mull over everything you said properly and consider my answers... ok, ok, I admit it I abadoned HPFF for a while there :'( I'm sorry, ok!!

Aww, I'm glad you like them :) I'm glad she has friends too- everyone needs friends!

And Molly is a sweetheart, ain't she? I'm glad you caught onto that as I wanted to show that although she goes off with Marlene a lot it's just because she's loyal- not because she doesn't like Tina!

Marlene is a *, lol :) Don't know if I overdo her meanness but it's good that you like it.

It'll become clear as you read on... ;)

Aha, well it put a big smile on my face that I managed to stir up your emotions like that!

Aha, it seems like your getting a bit sick of my mediocre grammar? I need to start proof reading- I know :/

*pats self on back for creating suspense and pace and flow*

Yeahh, in your face cliched cliffhangers (with the whole dun dun dunn effect) tend to get my goat, so I prefer to just subtly keep you guessing by putting little hints of things to come here and there!

Thank you, and see you soon also,
Lily :)

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Review #24, by shapeshifter98 Brunch.

8th March 2011:
EEPERZ U UPDATED! I MEAN LIKE FINALLY I CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER 10/10! a brunch is breakfastlunch. shortened to brunch. just like weblog is blog! brunch happens b/w 10 am to 12:12:45 seconds pm

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review!
Aha, well I'm glad everyone seems to know that!
Will be updating asap hopefully
Lily :)

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Review #25, by paddypaws Brunch.

1st March 2011:
hey love the story... i ike the way tina and sirius arnt OFFICIAY going out theyre taking their time!!! PEASE keep going!!

paddypaws!! (:

Author's Response: Glad you like it!
Thanks for reviewing
Lily :)

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