That was amazing and a beautiful piece. The thoughts streamed one to the next and captured a moment in time that I think we all have experienced, at least those of us who are dedicated book readers.
I've definitely had those moments where everyone else is going out to play or socialize and I savor that time, when no one else is around, to be with myself, a book and "the reader". I love how you described someone's inner monologue.
I expected this to be a bit of a sober piece, and it was, but this line made me smile in spite of myself "I suppose Lina should be first because ladies are supposed to be first, as the saying goes, but for some reason, Paul really wanted to start this one." That was cute and so a thought that would occur to one.
For a one-shot with no editing, it was very well done! Report Review
Hey it is RandomRed from the forums with you review.
In case you didn't see this is my 100th review and so I am going to review more of your stories as a special you are my 100th reviewee!!! (Not sure thats the word but yeah.)
Anyway to this story. I love it, it is so relatable as I love just curling up with a good book.
It isn't jumpy of weird as you were worried about. It flows really well and even if it was jumpy of weird that is how people think anyway.
I saw no grammar. :)
Alice is always left alone as a main character because a lot of people are all but she had the crucatis curse cast on her!
My favorite line has to be ,
I love winter because it's like the earth is taking a vacation.
I don't know why it just has a certain charm about it. Anyway great story I am going to review some of your other stories.
xxxAuthor's Response: Oh, wow! Thank you so much. You really don't have to do that XD
I'm glad you thought it flowed well. I was trying to get the feeling of how real people think, so it's good to know I sort of managed that =)
Thank you so much! I appreciate your review ^_^ Report Review
Oh my goodness, I LOVED this. It was amazingly written... Paul and Lina are such a great idea. And we definitely don't see much of the character... I'm blanking on her first name... well, Neville's mom, right? (if it isn't her, I will feel like such the idiot.) Sometimes we can all relate to that, just wanting to be alone, and the writers and readers will especially appreciate this. Oh, gosh, I can't say it enough... I love it!Author's Response: Thank you! This one was fun for me to write because I literally didn't stop to fix anything. It was so much fun. =) Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review ^_^ Report Review
Hello Ilia, I'm here to review :]]
Here, let me pick my jaw off of the floor and wipe away the tears. Okay, I'm good. Wow. Holy. Twins, yes, that's what I'm thinking. I can so totally connect with this. Reading is my utopia, just the little dude or dudette in my head humming along, reading. It was so freakin' random. Ilia, this was PERFECT. Perhaps I'm biased because I love everything you write, but I must say...this has to be either my favorite or second favorite fanfiction of yours. You just put in on the paper. BAM! It's there. It's like you're telling the readers, "Here it is. Read it, like it, cherish it with all of your heart. This is the way it is." I LOVE that.
Utter and complete perfection. I LOVE IT.
[I'm so, so sorry this review was so short. It doesn't live up to my other ones. I'm trying to get through all of these reviews.]Author's Response: Twinsy! Thank you ^_^
XD I didn't mean to break your face. But thank you! I'm glad you could identify with this story. I feel that's important in getting a reader's attention with writing. It was rather random, which I'm not used to, but I like the way it turned out.
Thanks so much! I love your challenges ^_^
That was very cute! I liked Alice's way of thinking. It was very a very wallflower 'stream of consciousness.'
Usually, I try to think of things to applaud or critique, but I can't think of anything! I just really enjoyed it! Great job!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! ^_^ Report Review
Isn't the name 'Utopia' from the movie 'Castle in the the sky' ? I was just wondering, because it is one of my fave movies, and i haven't watched it in a while so I can't remember if it was called 'Utopia' , if it is then I think you have excellent taste in movies, your writing is also very good :) When can we expect another chapter? :-)Author's Response: Hmm. I haven't seen that movie, but I'm glad you liked the story. This is only a one-shot, so I have to say... never. Sorry! Thanks for reviewing, though! Report Review
Um, wow. It's like you took all my inner thoughts and wrote this. Your main character is me, through and through.
I like the way you take normal things, like winter days and reading, and make them special, in your own style of writing. Suddenly I'm trying to listen to the voice in my head that's reading the story, and see if it's male or female. Suddenly I'm wondering what it would feel like to go outside on a December day without a jacket and read. Suddenly I'm remembering all those times I was reading outside during the summer, and I cursed the sun for glaring off the page and I wished desperatley were winter. Suddenly, someone else has realized the beauty of a sunless day.
I love this line: "As I breathe, it turns to vapor in front of me. Sometimes it blocks out the words on the page, but Paul squints his eyes and he can still read clearly." It's clear and perfect. As you once told me in a review, it's meant to be a part of your Every Word Counts challenge, in the way that it's so easy to see that Paul is perfect, Paul is the reader. Paul won't let anything get in the way of a good book, not even the cold.
I didn't find any problems with the flow, and, amazingly, there were no typos. When I write a story, there are all these minor grammar edits that take two to four reads to get out. Very impressive. Did you write this really carefully, knowing you couldn't edit?
This was a great line too: "If you know of any human friend that can do all of that, please show him to me because I would love for him to be my reader. Of course, there is no such person. So I'll keep the person in my head." That's what I tell myself when people tell me to be more social. Thoreau once said something along the lines of "The best companion is solitude." That's how I feel.
This just completely stunned me. You made Paul and Lina more real than the students of Hogwarts, which was a great effect. This story is going to stay with me a long time. I finished and I just gaped. That's what this does. It makes you gape.
Ten out of ten.
~lllbAuthor's Response: Are you ever going to stop giving me random reviews? You jerk ♥
You think I was writing you? I was writing me! XD I guess a lot of people also name the people speaking in their heads. Actually, this piece was inspired by a poem called The Voice You Hear When You Read Silently. If you liked this piece, I suggest you check out that poem. I think you'd love it. =)
The highest compliment is that you read this little piece and are now thinking about how it reflects in your real life. That means so much to me. =)
I was very careful when writing this. If I started a sentence in a stupid way, I just had to go with it and make it seem like that's what I meant to do XD Typos were definitely on my mind, so I did type very slowly. =P
It's true, isn't it? If you're alone, you can always talk to yourself. Talking to yourself isn't that creepy, really. Because the voice in your head isn't yours. It doesn't sound like you, does it? I'll stop now.
Thank you so much! Wow, I can't believe you're still doing this to me. Thank you so much! Your reviews make me gape! ^_^ Report Review
Awesome story. And it didn't need editing at all.
I suddenly want a Paul in my head. :]Author's Response: Thank you! I think everyone has one. Just listen more closely. =) Report Review
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