omg please write more Report Review
Really good, I love musical Teddy.
Keep up the good work!!
padmoonyfoot7: over and out!! Report Review
Keep up the good work!!
padmoonyfoot7: over and out!! Report Review
Omg I love this story! It makes me said because there are no more chapters to read :(. I know it's been a while, but I really want to know how this story ends! I just love your writing so much...it's addicting! Report Review
Can you please continue updating "life in composition/personal growth" please please? I found your story on FF .net, and then loved it so much (even less chapters are posted there) that I searched for it on google and found it here!!! and now it's still unfinished, i'm begging you please to just update if you can. Your writing and your characterisation of Teddy and Victoire are the best I've read. It's one of the best stories with the most realistic characters I've stumbled across (ie. Victoire is having trouble with friends and boys because of course, girls are jealous and bitchy and boys are greedy for her, that she trusts Teddy most of all but feels betrayed after he develops feelings, etc). And you show, you don't tell -- you develop their personalities and their intricacies so well -- please continue. I'm begging you to. Report Review
Okay I'm only 5 chapters into this story and I am absolutely loving it. I was planning on waiting until I read the whole thing to leave a review but after this chapter I just couldn't wait for that.
One of my favourite things to read about in a story is when an author can create a wonderful and believable friendship between characters. You have done this fantastically between Vic and Teddy, I'm actually sitting here wishing I could be Vic myself and have Teddy as my own friend. Both of them seem so real together and I really enjoyed the part in this chapter where Bill found them tangled together at the front door.
Looking forward to the next chapter now =] Report Review
Another nice chapter. Can't wait to read what happens next! I really love how Teddy cares about Victoire...it's a very heroic way of doing things but he's also a realistic character, overprotective. Nice work!Author's Response: Hello again and thanks so much for another review! i'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to the rest. Teddy is an absolute joy to write so I'm glad you enjoyed him as well.
Thanks so much for another lovely review!
Another good chapter, albeit a bit confusing because of all the time warps. But it was nice getting to know more about Victoire and Teddy's characters, and also Remus'! Never would have expected that!Author's Response: Hello!
And are the time warps confusing? I'm so sorry, I'll have to work on making them clearer to my readers.
I'm glad you enjoyed my inclusion of Remus, and delving into the characters though!
Wow, such a good first chapter! I love Teddy/Victoire fics, saw the summary for yours, and just had to give it a shot. I'm glad I did! I really like how you began the story, with the juxtaposition between the two scenes. It really gives a good glimpse as to what their relationship was like and what it might be turning into...
Overall, there were a few spelling mistakes I noticed, but that just might be mistaken typos or faulty translation on my part. Otherwise, a really good start and a very nice chapter! Can't wait to read what happens next!Author's Response: Hello! And thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter of the story, and I hope you continue to read it!
Aww, yes! I really do need to edit over this story at least once more and thank you for pointing them out.
Thanks so much again!
Whoa, Teddy! I guess a single woman doesn't generally bring up children on a first date or outing or whatever, but whoa! Hahah.
Good chapter--surprising, too. Dexter WOULD make it a "mission," lol.
Can't wait for your next update! :)
--Kate/RPAuthor's Response: Hahaha, yeah. I guess she doesnt. And she is rather.interesting isn't she?
I'm glad you enjoyed it; it was a real struggle to write..like a 7th month struggle! :P And Dex totally would.
I'll try to update more regularly now that I got over that hurdle!
Thanks so much for the review!! Report Review
Wow, you updated! :D That's great!
I have to say, the scene at the beginning was a little... dramatic, but that's okay. I suppose I would get dramatic like that if my heart ached like that (although I'm not a bloke). It's nice to see that Teddy can't change his hair now, just like Tonks couldn't when she was in love with Remus :)
They do have a great way to decide who gets to sleep where, don't they? :D But that is a great way to go on a holiday with a very low budget... So for how long has Teddy not slept? And he moped all the way through France, Spain and Portugal? Although I feel sorry for him, I can understand that his friends might become a little impatient with him then.
So what's happening there, in that bar and all - is that 'now', or (almost) directly after Dexter brought a girl to his/their room? It's good that Teddy is at least attempting to be (or act) happy :) The comment from the girls, that they were so pale that they had to be English, that was quite funny :D I guess that was not what Dexter wanted to hear, right? It's too bad that Teddy rejected that girl, even if her way of asking him to dance reminded him of Victoire. He could've tried, no? Though his friends aren't helping much, I have to admit.
Galatea was quite a surprise, I must say. She has kids? Not a husband as well, I hope? But the description about how Teddy felt the entire time were quite amusing, especially with the whole contemplation about sweat :P But it is great that this seemed to be distracting enough for Teddy to finally sleep! I hope that he won't have to keep finding distractions to be able to fall asleep again, and maybe he'll stop thinking about Victoire so much now? Well, one can hope.
Hopefully you'll update soon!Author's Response: Yeah, the scene at the beginning is meant to be dramatic. I just kind of wanted to shove most of Teddy's mopiness into one little corner and get it all out there. Mopey Teddy isn't nearly as much fun as happy Teddy! :P Poor bloke with his heartbreak!
I'd say he hasn't slept in about a 3 weeks or a month or so. I think he occassionally dozes off but he sleeps poorly and mostly not at all, if that makes any sense. And yes, I'd be impatient with him too, so Dex and them aren't alone.
Oh the part where Dex brings a girl to his room and kind of like a flashback, we dont know when that really is, just whats happening "now" is happening afterward.
And yes, hopefully Teddy will get back on his feet soon. And I'm also glad everyone was surprised, because it was meant to be a radical shift in behavior for Teddy. And no, she is not married (which is good). :P
Thanks so much for the review after it took me so long to update!!! Report Review
This was a great build to the first chapter, which if you remember I thought was solid but lacked a powerful whoa! voice. I am becoming comfortable with your characters and their relationship. I feel the emotion more as I get to know them and I hope that the gradual build up you've begun will continue as the story moves along. I like Victoire and I feel for her. I also like Teddy and I think that you have captured a teenage boy's thoughts and ideas well. Especially when it comes to him trying to meet everyone's expectations. There is one line, however that I thought did not fit his character. It is the one were his thought process seems to be that he does not have time for foolish girls. While this is something that I could easily see him telling people, it is not something that I believe for one moment. I would think that Teddy cares about being in a relationship dearly. It is the only thing he thinks about. He might secretly know that women are foolish but he makes excuses for them because he only sees their beauty. I can definitely see him not realizing Victoire until now though. Seeing as they seem to have a brother/sister relationship. If you are confused by what I think, please contact me to discuss it. Otherwise, well done!Author's Response: Hello again!
I'm glad you liked me characterizations, and especially that you felt for Victoire. I cannot never overstate how important empathy is to my writing; it's really ( and I know this sounds silly) at the heart of what I do. And, I've already told you that has to be one of the nicest compliments (not that its overly praiseworthy) just that it confirms what I'm aiming to do.
And woot! Criticism!! (wait, what?!) ahaha.I'm severely sleep deprived at the moment. Um, ok, so Teddy would tell people he doesn't have the time for girls, but would think about relationships all the time? Interesting, I could definitely see him doing something like that, esp. around his grandmother--who wants him to focus, and then he says something along, I dont have time for girls anyway, grandma and then go right back to daydreaming about Victoire or other girls? Now, is this like a specific thing from a boys perspective, like only happens when they have on particular girl in mind, or...is it a general thing, like man wouldn't it be fantastic to have a girlfriend? The funny thing about asking you questions here is that you cannot answer them...le sigh, i'll bear it in mind for later. So, i guess this means im confused.i'll be in touch then.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Ugh! I hate that Victoire pins Teddy as just another of the guys! So frustrating! Doesn't she realize how much more he is? blah! Women. Now moving on from my little rant, I thought that this was overall a good piece. I thought that the combination of the two scenes was great and I think that everything about it was plausible. I never got that feeling of POW! OH WOW! I hope you know what I mean. There is no excellent way to define this chapter. I think it might be the wrapped up in a way that you reviewed the first chapter of Nixton's. Which is really ironic and not a bad thing. I thought that the voice here was detached, not in sync with the emotion found in the scenes. As you did with me however I will read on and ease into that voice. It may just be that I am becoming too accustomed to action fics that have so much juice right off the bat, thanks to our dear Kaity. Overall, well done!Author's Response: hey george,
I think the point that you make about the voice being distant in this scene is really interesting (and yes, ironic). I suppose, I was going for a prologue-y voice and that's how it happened. And hopefully, if I can coerce you into reading this far, this scene is written again in chapter 11, and I hope at the point the voice is quite emotive. Yeah, not an action fic this one, more like coming of age.
And YAY! i'm big on plausability and realism, so that's exciting. (That makes me sound so boring :/) but I'm glad it worked and didn't confuse you.
Like I said, don't be too hard on poor Victoire. I know you have to side with Teddy (it is his story) but she's very frightened and surprised.
Thanks again for the review; they're super helpful and Teddy is finally starting to want to be written again, so definitely helpful. I'm glad you liked it!
Miranda Report Review
omg! that was quite the intense in a box chapter!!Author's Response: hahahaa...well, im glad you liked it! Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
omg !! i loved it!! made my day!! it was really cute!! :DAuthor's Response: awww, thanks so much! Report Review
omg! that was AMAZING!! made my day!! :DAuthor's Response: I'm so glad i could make your day a little brighter. thanks for reading and reviewing!! Report Review
awee!! that was cute!! i really love how musical teddy is!! :DAuthor's Response: thanks so much for the review! Report Review
omg! that was really good! i loved it!! : DAuthor's Response: Thanks!! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Report Review
omg! i LOVED it!! that was AMAZING!! it was so cute, when she gave teddy the scrapbook and he kissed her aweeeAuthor's Response: Oh! I'm so glad you liked that scene; its really quite adorable! Thanks for the review Report Review
awee!! that was cute! i LOVED it!! it made my day!!Author's Response: So glad that you continue to enjoy this story. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
awee!! that was so cute!! i LOVED it!! made my day!Author's Response: Yeah, Teddy is beyond cute! Thanks again! Report Review
omg!! that was AMAZING!! soo intense in a box! it was cute! good job! : DAuthor's Response: It was intense wasn't it? Thanks! Report Review
omg!! i LOVED IT!! made my day! ! : DAuthor's Response: Thanks for another review! Report Review
omg! that was AMAZING!! made my day!! : DAuthor's Response: Hello! i'm so glad you enjoyed it.Thanks! Report Review
I know it took very long for me to review but I've been under lots of pressure but I guess I thought “better late than never”.
I will start with the things I didn't like that much. First of all I didn't like the fact that you kept jumping through time completely without a warning. That quite confused me. Second of all the way Harry and the other grownups reacted when Teddy fought with Roger. You have no idea what would I give to have parents that would react that way but I think that there is no way of them reacting that way. At least they should have pretended that they are angry at him.
And now things I liked or in other words the rest of the story. It was very imaginative and addictive. I really liked the part with the lake or when Teddy was imagining how Victory would react if he told her. I also liked how Kara reacted when Victory became angry at Ted. I also liked Brian and the way he compared his feelings for Chris to Teddy's feelings for Victory. And I could go on and on because there were a lot of things I liked about this story.
As for your questions I don't think you are even getting close to the Mary-Sue territory. As for the verbose thing it's not that bad but I suppose if you put in more direct speech it would be perfect. And it would be nice if you put more Moony diary entrys because I find them very enjoyable.
So if I was supposed to rate this story, I'd give you 8/10 because of the time-jumping and the parent reaction.
I can't wait to read how it ends though.
NCAuthor's Response: Hello! And thank you for the review! I don't mind that it came late; I think its great that you remembered me, actually.
Yeah, how Harry and the family reacted was a little understated. However, they are not his family. I think the rest of the Weasley's take their cue from Harry, and wouldn't step in either way if Teddy's behaving badly--unless of course it involves one of their own kids. It just isn't their place. I imagine Andromeda gave him a hard time about it when they got home, but both Harry and Andromeda wouldn't have wanted to get angry on the platform and just make an even bigger scene. What they want is for Teddy to calm down, not get more upset. But yeah, they probably could have been angrier.
The time jump thing...well, that means I didn't do my job as a writer to set the scene accurately if you were confused. However, i hate being obvious, so there is a good chance you'll never see a little note from me telling you whats going on, though sometimes I'll use italics. I actually like the way I have it going on here, because they feel more like memories this way, more real to the reader, and therefore readers feel more empathetic towards Teddy. Which is what I really wanted. And I do try to use the time elapse bar. Anyway, i'll try to do a better job of letting you know what time period they're in right away!
I'm glad you liked the story so much! Brian is really fun, and I liked writing the scene with Kara a lot too! I've always imagined it as being rather funny. Lol. And thanks for the compliments; those were quite lovely.
There will be more Moony diary entries to come, I promise! I'm glad you liked them so much! I adore Remus, and couldn't bear to leave him out! I'm glad you'll be back for updates!
Thanks so much!
-FannyPrice Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection