Hello, here to review!

I must be quick because I'm sorely behind in reviews.

Now, I think that my challenge coupled with Ilia's challenge was an excellent use of your writing abilities. Your style mixes interestingly with the stream of consciousness. Some of the sentences are completely off-the-wall, and others flow so beautifully together. I believe you captured SoC pretty well. The plot was amazing. Your descriptions and characterizations are so amazing. The descriptions were beautiful. My favorite line: "The butterfly left my open palm, and winter came." - That is, by far, the greatest line. It holds so much weight in the story and for me, it means so much as a reader.

Great job!

Shelby

Author's Response: Thank you! To be honest, most of what I write is a stream of consciousness ;p I love that line as well! Thank you so much!

 Report Review

I can honestly say that this is the best 500 Word Challenge I've read. And I've read A LOT.

Usually with this challenge, the story feels incomplete or not as well developed as it could've been. But yours wasn't! Yours has all the parts a one-shot needs and more! Part of me wanted to stop halfway, when things started getting bad, so I could go back to the summary and check who the characters were, but I COULDN'T STOP!!

I felt so connected with Narcissa, to the point that when I finished the story, I felt hurt and dejected. I can see all of it happening in my mind, and feel it happening too. This was so heartfelt.

Usually I'm a very critical person! I know that seems doubtful because I've praised your stories so far, but I really am. I just can't find anything with your stories! They're amazing!!

This story was the epitome of a beautiful touching one-shot. Beautiful job.

Author's Response: Really? That made me smile ;p Thank you so, so much! I'm really glad I could pull you in like that ;p Thank you again! (:

 Report Review

I really enjoyed reading this, Malia! It was so simple, and lovely. I liked the little references back to a fairytale, all the little 'once upon a times' flowed along nicely with the read!
Lovely job!
xx.
Collette

Author's Response:
Thank you so much, Collette! Whenever I think of their relationship, it just seems like a fairytale gone wrong :P Thank you!

-Malia

 Report Review

OMG! No way, dedicated to me? With the few months that I've been here at hpff, I've already had something dedicated to me? I'm speechless! Hon, thank you, ily!

This story is amazing, really it is! I wish I had your talent. You describe everything so vividly, so clearly. Its amazing how you can write something and explain it in a limited amount of words! But yet, you explain everything so profoundly anyways.

I'm sorry my review isn't longer, but I've got nothing to criticize! It's perfect, amazing, wonderful, fantastic! lol

ILY!


xx

Author's Response: Leesh, I love you. &&nd I'm so glad that you like it! Agh, this was sort of easy to write. I just seamed along, writing whatever came to mind. I never really thought of writing a Bella&Cissa fic, but that's how it ended :P

ilove you, LESSH! &&nd thank you for taking the time to review ^_^

 Report Review