Really good! I liked every bit :) can't wait for more Report Review
This story is fabulous. I can't wait for the next update!!!Author's Response: Still waiting for a few plot bunnies that are missing... I will get to it soon though ;) Report Review
I love how subtly you are building the relationship between Snape and Hermione. I've read other stories involving their relationship and other authors jump right into intimacy. This shows laziness in terms of having the patience to actually build a believable foundation for their relationship, which you are doing very well! Love this story and chapter, please don't abandon it!Author's Response: I will NEVER abandon my stories. I write with the plot bunnies to make sure its worth it. Sometimes the plot bunnies need to be wrangled or trained though... lol. Thank you so much for reading! *HUGS* Report Review
FINALLY YOU HAVE RETURNED!!! Woot! Onward ho!Author's Response: I'm working on it. Got NaNo at the moment, but half of the next chapter written! Thanks for reading and sticking with me! Report Review
I love it. I really love what you've done with this story. Your concept is quite interesting and I can say that you're heading in a good direction. Keep up the good work. :) You're a great author.
~Mischief_Managed18Author's Response: Thank you. I have a lot planned, but I'm not rushing it. I want the plot bunnies to be perfect, you know! *HUGS* Report Review
Goodness. I love this story. :) Keep up the good work! You're a good author. Your idea is quite creative, I love it.
~Mischief_Managed18Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! *HUGS* Report Review
Hello again (for the last time)
This is the last chapter that I will review on. I might read more of it later, but for now I will stop here. This was really good (as all your other chapters have been). I love it when Snape and Hermione is together. Something about it just makes me so interested. You can practically feel the tension in the air. Its just so strong and definitely well-written.
I really enjoyed the chapter. I hope you keep writing and that you get lots of reviews. Youll probably see me again, and until then good luck with your future chapters :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much much... again lol. I'm glad that you enjoyed these chapters... its what I write for! Report Review
Awww... so cute.
I loved how Snape acts different because Hermione reminds him of Lily. They are quite similar, but I had never thought that much about it. I could really see it happening. Brilliant idea.
I also loved how Snape acted towards Hermione at the end. He is trying so hard to be nice, while trying to not sound too nice. He is stiffly. I could really see that. I imagine it mustve been hard on him. I also agree with Minerva; Snape had a harder life than both Albus and Harry. He never had anyone who loved him. At one point, he had Lily, but she left him too. I feel so sorry for him :(
This was good written, though. I really loved how you wrote it. Keep up the good work. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you. yet again lol. Thats one of the reasons I love Sevmiones. the life that we get to create for snape that he did'nt have! *HUGS* Report Review
Hello. I dont know what to say to your chapters anymore. They are so great that I cant really complain.
Im sorry they are getting shorter. I will try to make them longer, but I really cant complain about anything. Its all amazing.
Just keep up the good work, and I will review on the next chapter as well :DAuthor's Response: Lol... no complaints about there being no complaints. *HUGS* Report Review
Wow. You really impressed me with this chapter. It was really good.
I love Snape in this chapter. He was so in-character that I felt the familiar feeling of fright when he entered the room. I loved you description of him, and the way he acted. It was so realistic and believable.
I also loved Hermione. She was also very in-character. In fact, she has become my favorite character in this story. I really love the way you write her. She is just so realistic.
As always, keep up the good work. See you in the next chapterAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. I love that you are enjoying thise story so much! *HUGS* Report Review
Hey again :D
I just love how much Minerva is worrying about Hermiones well-being. That is so believable and realistic.
I also loved how you named the house-elf Snarky. That had something to do with Snape, right? It really was a fitting name, though.
Im sorry my reviews are getting shorter, but I have school soon, so I have to hurry up and finish. I have to do the rest tomorrow. See you then :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. Yes, it had to do with snape ;) *HUGS* Report Review
Hey again (again ? :P) :D
I really dont have too much to say about this chapter. It worked so well. Everything was great. The flow, the description and the plot was well-written. I really dont have too much to say about it.
This is definitely my new favorite chapter. It was just so good. I really loved everything about it. It was realistic and believable.
Good job. Sorry this review wasnt longer, but I really dont know what to say. It was perfect. Nothing to complain about.
Keep up the good work :DAuthor's Response: Lol... sometimes 'no news is good news' lol. Thanks again for reading! *HUGS* Report Review
Hello again :D
Wow. This was good. For now its my favorite chapter.
I really loved the first paragraph. It had a lot of description in it, and I love that. I could really imagine Hermione go down the dark halls, and into her cell. Good job there :D
I also loved how you made Azkaban a lot like it was in the books, yet you pointed out some differences (like the dementors). That was brilliant. That made me see that Azkaban was still a scary dark place, but it wasnt like it was in the books. It had changed over the years.
I also loved the scenes with Hermione in prison. They just showed how boring it was there. You got a bit of a message there :P DONT DO SOMETHING STUPID AND END UP IN PRISON. ITS VERY BORING !!! :D Thats just so great. I love when people have a message, but might not realize it themselves.
Good job again :DAuthor's Response: Lol... I realized it lol. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a goody-two-shoes because I fear jail and never do anything wrong. lol.
Thank you so much for enjoying it! *HUGS* Report Review
Hey, sorry for taking so long time to review. School has started so Im quite busy these days.
Anyway, I really enjoyed how Snape didnt trust Hermione. That was so believable. You really stayed in character there.
I also loved how Minerva tried to save Hermione. She is just like a nice mother or grandmother or aunt or whatever you want to her to be :P She is really trying to defend and save her, even though she broke the law. It really is sweet and very in-character.
I also loved how Snape doesnt know what to think. Hermione has saved his life, but he really dont know if he should thank her or not. That was believable. You really managed to make it realistic.
Good job. Keep up the good work :)Author's Response: Thank you so much. Good luck with the school year! *HUGS* Report Review
I liked Snape's initial distrust of Hermione and her phials, but then when he was dying he threw caution to the wind and tried it anyway. If you're dying anyway, what would it hurt to try, right?
Of course she got caught though I'm curious about how all of this works with Snape being alive though he was dead and how things have changed since she changed the past. I'm glad you still had her go to Azkaban. I think it makes it more realistic. She did break the law and change the past so she should be punished for it. I wonder how she'll take Azkaban.
Interesting how Snape is conflicted with his feelings for her - anger at her sacrificing her life for his but compassionate enough to prevent her from spending years in Azkaban.
You get a sort of glimpse at the start of what could potentially be a friendship between them...especially since Hermione will be confined to Hogwarts for a year.
Spelling and grammar were pretty good too and I think the story flowed very well.
As I stated in my review thread, I will only review the first four chapters. School is starting on Monday too so I'm sorry but I don't think I'll have time to continue reading your story even if you re-requested. Good luck with the rest of your story and I hope you find more Sevmione shippers to enjoy your fic!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I understand about school, and I'm not worried about the Sevmione fandom... there are a lot of us lol. *HUGS* Report Review
As usual, your descriptions are wonderful here. I did have an issue though with how quickly she seemed to find the antidote. I thought with the lack of ingredients and a process from Snape that it was a rather difficult antidote to brew. But like you had pointed out, he also didn't have as much time on his hands as Hermione does, so I guess it makes a little sense. You know, I knew that Hermione was planning on bringing Snape back but I never imagined her using a Time-Turner! I don't really know how I imagined her to do it but it definitely was not that. Though I did find her question to McGonagall as a bit obvious. I guess Hermione never was good at being subtle about things. I wonder what will happen should she get caught changing the course of the future..Author's Response: Thank you again for your comments! *hugs* Report Review
I actually like all the descriptions in this chapter so I don't mind that there isn't too much dialogue. I think it just re-enforces the idea that Snape isn't there and Hermione is alone in his quarters cleaning up his stuff. You did an excellent job with the descriptions - I could imagine Snape's living quarters and I think it brought Snape more to life, so to speak, like he's there in all his possessions even though he's dead.
I did find it a bit odd mentioning Ron and Harry for a short moment at the beginning. I don't know, I have a harder time coming to terms with her not attending Fred's funeral but them still being besties. I feel like Molly too would be upset for being like a mother to Hermione, only to have her abandon them during their time of need.
Interesting what McGonagall said about not allowing students with prejudices..but I wonder how you could even manage to weed out those students. I feel like by not allowing them in the school, they're expressing their own type of prejudice, are they not?
Oh, but I did like those spells on Snape's books - very realistic, and Hermione's sadness about the vials under his sink...all the harm he got himself into to help them is very sobering. Good job with the descriptions.Author's Response: Thank you. But even though its Hermione, I don't see why I can't write her a little bit out of character... or anyone for that matter. The war is over, and all that they have been through, they should be able to 'handle' it any way they can. She is just determined to change one of the many bad things for good! Report Review
I'll be honest - I was a bit hesitant when I first saw your request because it was Severus/Hermione. I still don't know how I feel about it but since the relationship isn't a huge factor in the story yet, we'll see if it grows on me.
I think you did an excellent job describing the despair and devastation after the war. All the death and destruction. I felt Hermione's emotions which is always a plus when I'm reading a story like this.
I found it a little awkward how she went between calling him Severus and her Professor. It was a bit of a disconnect for me, I think. Perhaps you should remain consistent in what she calls him and thinks would flow better.
I felt bad for Snape because of how much he sacrificed and it makes me angry that Ron would call him a "greasy dungeon bat." Ron would know of Snape's sacrifices too I would think and would have a deeper respect for him. I'm curious though if Hermione will take that venom and blood sample and create "The Antidote" to bring Snape back to give him a second chance. :)
I also had trouble accepting the idea that Hermione would not stop to grieve with the Weasleys on her way to Dumbledore's office and not going to Fred's funeral. I get that she didn't want Snape to not have anyone there, but it just seems...not right for me. The Weasleys were like family to her and she spent summers with the boys so I just can't believe she wouldn't mourn with them at all. Also, Hermione staying in Snape's quarters is a bit odd too. I'm sure it's important to your plot but it just seems weird to me.
I think I noticed a few grammatical/spelling errors. I know at one point you didn't capitalize Teddy's name too. Aside from these issues, you had a fairly well-written, descriptive first chapter. Onto chapter two!Author's Response: THank you so much for your input. ;) I know its not a usual start... but its just what I had to write when I sat down to do it ;) *HUGS* Report Review
PLEASE CONTINUE!!! Such a long wait, but worth it! Cannot wait for the next installment! :DAuthor's Response: I'm nearly done with the next chapter. Thank you so much for reading! *HUGS* Report Review
Back again :D Okay, so I will have to continue review tomorrow, cause its quite late here. I promise to review on every chapter, though :D
Okay, so what I really love is how you gave us small hints about what Hermione was going to do, and I really didnt figure it out until she did it. That was really good. I also love how you have to read a little between the lines. It doesnt say what she is going to do, you just have to figure out that part yourself. I love when people do that. It makes it so interesting.
Last chapter, I complained a little about too much description and little dialog. This chapter didnt have those problems at all. You had description, but good enough amount of it. You didnt have too much, and not too little. You also had more dialog, especially between Hermione and McGonagall, and those conversations seemed realistic. Both of them were very in-character and thats why it was so believable.
I really love that you bring Snape back. He really did deserve a second chance, and you (or rather Hermione) gave it to him. Great idea, great plot, great concept and I really liked it :DAuthor's Response: Well... the way I see it, the last chapter was also all about Hermione going into this on her own. I wanted to show how she was really putting herself at risk to figure out a way to bring him back.
Thank you for another wonderful review. I can't wait to see what you have to say about the next chapters! *HUGS* Report Review
Hey again :D
I found this second chapter so realistic. I could imagine all of it. I loved that part where you described and made it sound like Snape was still alive (just not in physical form), but in his belongings and in his rooms. I really loved the fact that Snape had a spell on his books. I would imagine Snape protecting his thoughts and information so well that even his allies wouldnt be able to see them. Its just so in-character and it made everything so realistic.
I love how you mention Harry and Ron, but its also a little risky. Mentioning them also makes the reader aware of the problems Hermione would face if she actually fell in love with Snape. Im not a fan of this ship at all, but I love your writing so I will definitely keep reading. I just thought it all went a little fast. I understood that she had regrets after he died, but maybe you couldve shown us why she would have regrets. Some flashback scenes for example. Thats just my opinion, though.
Okay, as for the description (Youre very good at that), it was maybe a little too much in this chapter. The whole chapter was mostly description. Dont get me wrong, I love description, but sometimes its just a little too much. Maybe you could try to go a little easy on the description. Once again, just my opinion. I totally understands if you think Im all wrong. Some chapters just have to have much description. Im sure this is just one of those chapters ;)
Oh... and a little last note; I loved that you mentioned the house elves :PAuthor's Response: Well... The lovestory part is yet to come. This is'nt about that yet. This is about where Hermione is at this moment in time...
Thank you so much for the review! *HUGS* Report Review
Hello there. Im here with your requested review :D
Firstly, I have to admit I was a bit unsure when I saw your story. I have never read any store involving Snape before, and something always keeps me from doing it. I decided to give this shot, though, and I really liked it.
The scene after the battle was touching. Your description was so good that I was close to tears. I admire you for your ability to describe well, cause that is actually my main problem when I write a story. You really made it seem easy, though. I also loved how you were in character all the way. Hermione was so well-written and in-character that I believed what you wrote. I could imagine her looking at the dead body of Snape crying over him. It really was touching.
I really liked this start. Its the first chapter so you cant really say too much about it yet. I do believe this will be great story, though, since the start is so good. I really look forward to reading the next chapters, and I hope it will be as great as this one was. Good job and I see you at the next chapter. :DAuthor's Response: I love love love that you gave it a shot. I know there is a lot of Sevmione's that give us Sevmione shippers a bad name... And that is my goal with my stories. Besides exploring my imagination... I want to make this ship proud, you know? Thank you so much for reviewing! *HUGS* Report Review
When I first read your request I was a bit unsure of whether or not I was ready to read a snape ship again, the last time it lefts quite distorted for a coupl of days as I found myself a bit to attached, haha, not to mention that I've never come across a hermione/snape ship before anyway.
But, i really liked it! Your ability to discribe the scene of the battle with so much emotion yet still be able to keep to the plot was really good and each chapter folded into the next really smoothly. You discribed everything to the right amount and I will deffiantly go on a read more!
Sorry this was so short but I'll do another detailed review if you want, I'm just trying to get this done for you without any more delay :D
bella xAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I love that you have never come across a Sevmione before, but you liked it. There is actually a huge following for Sevmiones... We thank you! *HUGS* Report Review
I'm so sorry, but I don't have too much to say by way of review for this chapter. I'm not sure why. Everything fit well together, flowed, made me feel sorry for Hermione, thankful for McGonagall, amused by Snape's anger and dislike...
But wow, I didn't realize that Hermione couldn't even be seen by students and professors while at Hogwarts! Extreme! I get that that's how it would be at Azkaban, too... Just, wow, I hadn't really thought of that before now. It'll be hard just interacting with two people all year long, but I guess that's better than having no one!
Harry Potter's Cloak... I do wonder where they got his Cloak from? Wouldn't Harry have kept it? A quick note to show how they had come by it would help us stickler readers. Haha. (o; Good chapter, still very much interested in what will happen next!Author's Response: Thank you again... the cloak question is anwsered later. ;)
Thanks for reading and reviewing! *HUGS* Report Review
Another great opening scene, this time describing what it's like in Azakaban. I think you made it very realistic, and I liked all the details and imagery you included. (o:
Also well done, on the part about Snape requesting someone to grade the 1st-4th year Potions papers, and then magically, haha, they now have Hermione at their disposal. I love that McGonagall insists that Snape work with Hermione. It does make sense, after all, since Hermione brought Snape back to life. But now this is starting to bring those difficult time-travel questions to mind. Like who all remembers the original past? Because obviously McGonagall and Snape do. But would the rest of the world know about Snape's death, or will it have never gotten out, and how we do figure out who remembers what? Haha, the difficulties of time-turners!
The scene at the Burrow... and Harry's and Ron's reactions to Hermione being gone and getting a position with the Department of Mysteries... well, I'm not sure how I feel about Harry and Ron in that scene. They don't really fit with the Harry and Ron I knew from book 7 but I also realize that you may be writing this as an AU. However, if you had some more details to show how Harry and Ron were different in this world, it would help us, otherwise it just seems like they're a bit out of character. Of course Ron and Harry know her very well, but their reactions seem like they've come from younger versions of themselves. Ron's right about Hermione loving to share knowledge, but it seems unfitting that he pouts and says it won't last. I get what you're showing, I think, but it doesn't seem to fit with the long journey that Ron and Hermione have taken together and all that happened between them in book 7. So, if in this AU world, Ron and Hermione never got together in book 7 (or else had a post-war break-up), it might be good to work that into the story somewhere, so readers understand better. Even just passing comments would be fine, a nod to canon or explanations for non-canon. I know, silly details, but I guess there are anal people out here like me, who get snagged on these things. Haha. And Harry saying she would miss them too much? Well, of course she would miss them, but Hermione is an amazingly strong young woman, and I don't think Harry would think of her as the kind of person who wouldn't follow a dream or opportunity just because it took her far from family and friends. I dunno, that's a difficult one. She's loyal, devoted, and loves deeply, but she's also very driven and ambitious. Eh, yeah, I'm just rambling now, sorry. Hehe.!
But I was thinking, if you didn't actually fancy writing out Ron and Harry in that scene at the Burrow with McGongall, you also could have easily just had McGonagall make an off-hand mention to Snape as she was leaving him, that she was planning to drop in on the Weasleys to invent a story for Ron and Harry so they'd not get suspicious. Then we readers would know that you'd covered your bases with Hermione's best friends, but you wouldn't have to actually write the scene, if there wasn't something otherwise useful or enjoyable for you to write.
One tiny thing - hehe - jumping jacks and crunches... I just wonder - do you think wizards have the same names for these exercises as Muggles do? We never once actually saw wizards doing exercises/fitness/etc in the books, did we? Maybe they have some funny names for exercises? And anyway, I know that in England they have a different name for jumping jacks, but I've forgotten what it is now.. Hrm.. I do think crunches have the same name in the UK though.
Another lovely chapter, and I'm ever so interested to see what's next in this story!Author's Response: Well... I can't write harry and ron very well. And for my storys I prefer to use them as little as possible. But I could'nt just, not, put in the story because I have a hard enough time convincing non-sevmione fans to read my stories lol.
As for the exercises... I'm taking the liberty of being american... and saying I don't care that much lol. I will work hard to get cannon facts right for the sake of the story... but I won't be able to catch every americanism. I'm from America and I'm not as well versed in British English... so there it is lol.
Thank you again for another awsome review ;) Report Review
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