Another amazing story! Although it was short you managed to fit in a lot about the characters, their relationship as well as a plot. The sort of childishness that the two of them demonstrated was also really cute and made their relationship more believable.

What I especially liked about this was the lack of perfection that you deliberately wrote for the characters - it makes them and the relationship between them so much more realistic and elevates your writing. Well done!

I actually really liked the structure of this with the brackets and short sentences, although some people might not like the stop-and-start approach you used I think it fitted in perfectly.

Great work here :)

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Ahh, stunning, stunning writing! I loved the use of imagery as well as the subtle dialogue in the piece.

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The simplicity of this story is what makes it so wonderfully written. You've taken something so simple, and made it into something. He loved her, she loved him. Their love just wasn't enough for the both of them, I suppose.
I haven't found too many Molly/Ted stories that I enjoy, but this is definitely one of the few. I've seen quite a few on the site, but as that is one of my favorite pairings, I tend to be quite picky, but you've pretty much captured everything. They both loved each other, but their love just wasn't enough to hold them together.

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aw... that was sweet xoxo

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Glad you thought so!

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This is actually my first time EVER reading a Molly-Teddy fan fiction, so it's a new intake on things.
I never really actually thought about them as a couple before, so it gave me something to think about.
I learned about this story from Harry Potter PodCast, and I really wanted to read it after that episode.
It's a very different style of writing of what I am used to, but I actually like it.
It's a very unique story, and I love that about this one.
Very nice job!!

Siriuslover177
Hufflepuff

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! There're a lot of lovely Molly/Teddy stories on this site and I would definitely recommend you read more of this ship. It's an interesting and promising one. Definitely check out PenguinsWillReignSupreme if you're interested in more of this ship - she writes a lot of it and she does it well.

Ooh, the HPFF podcast offered some lovely thoughts about this story. Thank you so much for reading and giving me feedback! I'm glad you liked it!

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I have never read a Molly/Teddy story and seeing as I love minor characters and pairings I had just to rea this . I also loved the fact it was about Molly because not alot of people write about her. Aww this was just adorable. The kept me hooked up till the very end. The story was perfect. You didn’t need to write more or less. It was just unique and cute. The mood was so strong. This was really something I could imagine to happen. I’m a lover of forbidden romance stories they have a certain appeal but this story has the same appeal without it being a forbidden romance story. I’ll definetely will be putting this in my favourite list!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for giving this story a chance, then! ^_^ I'm so pleased you liked it! There's actually a prequel for this story - a short story called Autumn's Sonatas, if you're interested in reading on about these characters. :D

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

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This story was so amazing, the writing was beautiful. I loved this story so much. Well done on such a great 500 word story, I'm amazed at how much you put in those 500 words. 10/10

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! I'm pleased you liked it! ^___^

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Really well written.

I couldn't write so much in so few words.

You have a true talent!

Romantic
xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! :D

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I'm almost embaressed to review at this point - you requested on my thread ages and ages ago. But I can't not review, because this was lovely. So hopefully you will forgive me.

It's hard to tell a story in so few words. Often by the time you get started you realize you are actually finished. But this felt perfect - there is no need for it to be any longer, it tells everything that needs telling already. I fell like if it had been any longer it would have detracted from the story, rather than adding anything to it. The simple, unpretentious style of this matches the simplicity of the story being told.

He loved her. She loved him. In the end, it wasn't enough. It's so refreshing to find someone writing about a love that wasn't meant to be. This isn't an epic love story about soul mates, or a tragic tale of star-crossed lovers. It's just two people who loved each other, but weren't meant for each other. The fact that their love doesn't work out doesn't detract from the fact that their love existed, however. That is the beauty of this, and is what makes it so wonderful.

10/10

Author's Response: Please don't worry about reviewing late. I completely understand real life and such can get in the way. :D

Wow, thanks so much for this amazing review! I'm truly very grateful to see that you enjoyed this odd little piece. And you perfectly grasped every aspect I was trying to get across. Teddy and Molly loved each other, but their love wasn't enough.

Again, thank you so much for reviewing, Marzipan!

- Celeste

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It's really beautiful and it made me cry. :D
Love it.
Lara
10

Author's Response: Thank you! (And sorry I made you cry! :P)

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very lovely.

i have read a lot of these 500 word stories out there and i must say that yours is no exception whatsoever to the other extraordinary ones that i have read. i loved the simplicity of it all and the abrupt ending that gave way that they were not perfect for each other even in the midst of their love. truly terrific. as i have told you in the past, feel free to stop by my thread anytime seeing as i truly love your writing. have an AMAZING day!!

p.s. SO SORRY FOR THE TREMENDOUS WAIT!! I AM CONVINCED THAT YOU ALREADY FORGOT ABOUT YOUR REQUEST ON MY THREAD BUT IT'S THERE AND IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET TO IT. SORRY!!

Author's Response: First off: I apologize for the extremely late response! Life has been beyond crazy.

Wow, thank you so much for everything! I'm glad their realization came across to you; no one's really mentioned it so far. And please don't worry about the wait. I, of all people, should know. :-)

Thanks again!
- Celeste

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Oh wow. This was so powerful. It's so interesting to read this and I really did like the way you kept the same style throughout the whole piece. This challenge has been turning up fantastic entries and this has quickly become one of my favorites! I love how you make their love them and then each of them themselves. I don't know if that made sense, but this really touched me and makes me happy :) Fantastic story with great power in such a small amount of words! :D

-Sarah

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! One of your favorites? That's so amazing to hear! The writing style used can be tricky for me to work with, so wow, you liked it! I'm really, really grateful for your kind words. Thank you so much!

- Celeste

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I really like this. It's adorable and citrus-y and I want MORE!

However, some parts are really confusing. Like the last sentence of the third big paragraph and the second-to-last paragraph through to the end. That said, I also realize that a.) this was for the Every Word Counts Challenge, so you didn't have many words to begin with; b.) I almost want to say that you MEANT it to be confusing, sort of like the jumbled thoughts that one would have when they don't make sense even to the beholder; and c.) it's poetic, and I appreciate that.
However, it's still really confusing, and an ideal fic should be easily comprehensible.

I'm really impressed with your bravery at attempting this challenge, though! I was going to try it too, but unfortunately I write lengthily and 500 words just isn't enough. :P

Author's Response: Hi and thanks for reviewing! (And sorry for the late response!)

It's unfortunate that you thought it confusing, because none of my other reviewers mentioned anything about being confused. I'll go back and have a look at the lines you mentioned. :) And yes, I absolutely meant it to be the way it is. I appreciate the review, but I'm going to have to disagree with you saying, "...an ideal fic should be easily comprehensible." I do not believe in spoon-feeding information to a reader, so I always keep some things vague (symbolism and interpretation of the ending). Many of my favorite authors write like that and I write like that as well. To me, an ideal fic does not need to be easily comprehensible, but rather rich in content and I try to echo that in my own works.

Thank you for the review! I really do appreciate hearing your thoughts on my work! =)
- Celeste


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Hi, Celeste! This chapter is on the short side, so I'm not sure yet how much I'll think of to say about it. I enjoyed the mood your writing imparts, as usual. It seems like the summer nights thing is pretty similar to whichever of your other stories has summer nights in it too. The feel of the scene was similar, even though the overall events were a bit different.

One thing that bugged me about this chapter was the (He/she blah blah) stuff. Those parenthetical statements. The style just doesn't do it for me. I kind of see the effect you're going for, I think, and you did have to include several to make it work, but it just wasn't my thing. I suppose I would have preferred seeing them without the parentheses.

For a brief chapter, the mood was very strongly present. Even though you don't reveal in this chapter (though you do in your summary) who "he" and "she" are, we still get to know a little about both of them, especially her. This is an unusual story so far, although it definitely has you stamped all over it.

Author's Response: Hi!Thanks for reviewing! :)

Actually, this is a one-shot, so it is completed. You caught me! I do like writing about summer a lot, so I generally stick to it, when writing romance. Although, it should be said: this one-shot takes place during the summer The Sound of Silence takes place, so yeah, it had to be set in the summer for it to be complaint with my novella. (:

I'm sorry the parenthesis annoyed you! I was limited to 500 words for the entire story, so I thought it a creative way to divulge parts of "her" narrative. The parenthesis symbolize Molly's true thoughts, rather than the ones she voices.

I never really had words to insert Teddy and Molly into the "he" and the "she". I attempted to do so, but it just sounded clunky. I made it clear that I was focusing on only two characters, so it seemed natural for me just to stick with he and she. Sorry it bothered you!

Thanks again for the review, Alopex! I always enjoy hearing from you. =)

Celeste

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Oh, wow. This was so awesome, for so many reasons. Let me first talk about how much I loved the parenthetical statements. They added so much depth to the story, but the shortness of them got the point across much more simply. I imagine that if you weren't confined to 500 words, you would have expanded those statements in parentheses for a paragraph or so, and you really didn't need to! It was perfect as is, which is why I'm so glad I prompted this challenge.

The imagery here was great - I could feel everything. The situation was unique, which I liked. It felt very at ease. It felt like you had no problem writing this in 500 words. It's awesome.

Thanks for taking my challenge! I hope you enjoyed yourself ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Hi, Ilia! Thank you so much!

It's great to hear that you liked the parenthetical statements and the storyline. And thank you so much for issuing the challenge. It was a bit trying at times, but I enjoyed myself immensely while writing this and it taught me a lot about how to condense symbolism into a few words. I'm now rather attached to writing these short little one-shots, rather than long, rambly chapters.

Thank you for the review!

Celeste


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I really enjoyed this. (: It was poetic, in a way, and while some lines, at first glance, would appear redundant, they weren't, at all.

I especially liked this line:
She would laugh her gentle laugh that reminded him of waves rolling, of the wind playing the trees.

That struck me as adorable, as did the rest of the fic. (: You have a real way with words, if you'll pardon the cliche. It was realistically written, and the brackets made it seem more so. Everyone dreams about love like that, and you've managed to capture it well. (:

The only thing I'd point out is that it's really not obvious that it takes place in the magical realm, though I actually enjoyed that part of it as well.(:

Very well done. !
-Jasmine

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

It's great to hear that you liked this odd little one-shot. Haha, everyone does dream about love like the one Teddy and Molly share, although it's not really a very perfect one, as shown by the ending.

It really isn't very connected to the magical realm, is it? It probably could simply stand on its own. None of my fanfiction leans too heavily on JK's world. I can't really explain why. I feel like writing something a little looser gives me more freedom. (:

Thanks for the wonderful review!

Celeste

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This is so poetic and stunning and wow. I'm speechless, this is just so gorgeous. I love the picture you paint, I love the style of this, just guh. You pretty much killed me in 500 words. 10/10, this is absolutely wonderful.

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much. I'M speechless after reading this wonderful review. This really made my day! Thank you, again!

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Oh wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

You have such a knack for the most original and delicious description and that just comes across wonderfully in the 500 words. I still can't get over the fact that we both wrote Molly/Teddy - though yours makes much more sense than mine :P

I just...I love it all. The dialogue is very strong - I think it really set it off well, especially the bits in brackets afterwards. It was a lovely touch.

Your description, as I've already said, is flawless. Completely and utterly brilliant. The characters were very well presented in such a short space of time as well.

I think this is fantastic, Celeste ^_^

x

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!

Yours is far better than mine! I love 'Wise'; I think it's a great deal more straightforward and more emotional than mine as well.

Wow, again, thank you for all your lovely words on the descriptions and the inner dialogue in brackets.

I really can't thank you enough! This review made my week!

Celeste

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Oh, your writing never ceases to blow me away! Honestly, this was just beautiful. It was so wonderful and a really enjoyable read, and I think this was a really great subject to write about for the challenge, as well - the fact that it was so short gave it an intensity which worked really well. I really love the pairing, too :D

Fantastic! 10/10 :)

Author's Response: -blush- You're too kind. Thank you! I had some trouble with this piece at first. But it's splendid to hear from you that it worked out. And you liked the pairing! (which, to be honest, I was worried about, considering how little it is written about).

Thank you for the amazing review!

Celeste

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