I think this story is bloody brilliant! I really like any Sirius/OC story but this is definitely going to be one of the most interesting :D I really hope you update again soon 9/10 xoxo Report Review
I really like the premise of this story. There are quite a few stories that have the whole " unknown girl suddenly befriends Lily/The Marauders" but I feel yours is different. I like Ariel :) She kind of reminds me of myself. Especially how she's really quiet until you get to know her. I also like how you haven't made Sirius or James giant womanizer playboys. I know there were mentions of it, but you haven't overdone it. I like that so keep it up! The seeing auras part is really cool. I'm intrigued by it and can't wait to see how it will come to play in the story. Overall you have a really great start. The only problem I have was how you suddenly switched from 3rd person to 1st person. You can switch perspectives and still keep it in 3rd. I know that going into 1st can make it seem more personal, but I actually preferred 3rd person. Anyways, I really like this story so far and I can't wait for the next update!Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing even though its been a ridiculous amount of time since I last uploaded. I've been trying to write, but life gets in the way and I haven't really had any inspiration for a while, but I'm not giving up.
Thank you so much for the compliments. They make me smile. And thank you for the criticism as well. I agree with you about the POV. I'm not really fond of writing in first person and I don't think I'm good at it so I'm continuing in third person.
I think I'm like Ariel as well. I'm glad you can identify with her, even just a little bit.
You know I am totally jealous of your ability to get a new chapter up every few days. And I really love your story so far. Thanks again for reviewing my story! Report Review
You have a very good plot line goin here. You should try to make the convos a little bit more natural and smooth. Other than that good job! :D The length of the chapters are perfect!!!
And just wanted to say thanks again for being the 1st to review on my story Unexpected...Stuff (:
~K.K~Author's Response: Thanks! I really appreciate the constructive criticism. I'm still trying to perfect my writing style. And thank you for reading and reviewing my story...at least what i have so far. It's much appreciated. I can't wait to read the next chapter of your fic. Report Review
Thanks for posting this. I really like Ariel. I hope you keep going with itAuthor's Response: I'm really glad that you like it. I'll keep writing if people keep reviewing, even if it's just one person, so thank you for reviewing. The next chapter probably won't be up for a while though. Report Review
A GREAT GREAT GREAT story! please hurry & post! PLEASE! im begging you!
-Lily__PotterAuthor's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! I'm glad people are reading this and liking it. Reviews make me so happy! I'm trying to update but the chapters aren't planned out so it takes some time. I'll try as hard as I can though so just be patient. Report Review
I really like this story! please update soon!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! It feels good to know that there are people who are enjoying this story. I'm working hard on my next chapter and I'll try to update soon. Report Review
i think this is a good start and i like the idea but i dont really like the really long paragraphs at the beggining cause its a bit uneeded so perhaps editing them down would be good! and also please dont say 'im bad at summaries' cause seriously its not bad and EVERYONE says it! ah! anyway thanks tho keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks for the criticism. I'm keeping it in mind for the next chapters. There will be more dialogue so hopefully it will be better. Keep reviewing! :D Report Review
i'm sorry im the first to write a review.i'm not very good at them.all i can say is please write more,and fast! : )Author's Response: I really appreciate the review. It's a tiny boost to my self esteem. I'm trying to write but school is demanding so I'll write more as soon as I can. Report Review
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