This was great 9/10 : ) Report Review
You probably don't remember me, but ages ago, you reviewed a bunch of stuff for me.. so I thought I would finally return the favour.
This is an interesting piece. Sirius/Remus, isn't a ship that ever would have occured to me.. Maybe because I can only ever see Remus with Tonks, and Sirius with Lily, if anyone.
I think the premise is a good one - Sirius constantly worried about Remus, because he is that sort of a caring person, much as he tries to pretend not to be. You wrote it very.. delicately too, using words such as quietly, softly, when describing Sirius' actions, which made it build up quite nicely.
Remus' reaction is perfect. Bordering on funny, but not quite.
The only thing I would suggest, would be fixing up the beginning a bit - it feels very disjointed and hard to follow.
Otherwise, nice job :) 9/10
-LilyAuthor's Response: Hi Lily! Thanks so much for coming to read and review one of my stories. It was very kind of you. (o:
I've never written Sirius or Remus before, to be honest, except for a brief flashes here or there in other stories, but I've never devoted a story to either of them, so it was quite a challenge for me. So thanks for all the kinds words you had about my writing and this story. (o: I really appreciate it.
And thanks for the suggestion about the beginning, as beginnings can often be tricky. I'll see if I can look it over and give some thought to it. (o:
Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry for my delay in responding, but I'll see if it's possible to be quicker in the future. (o: Report Review
Beuatiful! It's nice the way Remus wants independence so much, very realistic in the waysof a teenager and typical, I think, or Remus' character. This more tender side of Sirius isn't explored veryoften, but it's nice to see that you have. Very sweet. I loved the description that you've written, I think that that has what made this story, it really couldn't of been done better.
10/10Author's Response: Hi Nynfadora! Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it, and I enjoyed reading your comments on these characters. I've never really written them before, though I do think Remus is an interesting person to write. As for Sirius, the few times I've red him in fan fiction, he always seems to represent a kind of generalized version of the cool bad boy we all knew in school. But I wanted to see him in a different situation. These boys were friends to the end, their lives eventually torn apart by the Dark Wizard who divided them. It was interesting to think about one of those small moments in their teenage lives - something normal, but something private. Anyway, thanks again for reading and thanks for the review. I appreciate it! (o: Report Review
This is really amazingly written. The characterization is brilliant. I love the understated-ness and simplicity of their relationship. :)Author's Response: Hi there, JLHufflepuff! I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks for the comments. (o: I've never written anything Marauder-ish, so I felt way out of my element. I just hoped I could do it justice. Thanks for reading. (o: Report Review
AW. So cute!!
I like how you made this story nice and subtle. Especially with the requirements I gave you. O.O I was a bit worried that it would be smex to the max but you pulled it off very nicely.
It had me hanging on the edge just thinking that something was going to happen. You teased us nicely and let our minds play with the thought that something was going to happen and then snatched it right back.
~TFMAuthor's Response: Hi TFM! So nice of you to read and review this! I'm glad you liked the subtlety, and indeed, I too was a bit worried about the 'props' you gave me. Seriously? Slash and ointment? Yeah, let's say I kept in mind the TOS here at HPFF. Hahahaha! Nah, but I enjoy too much toying with the subtleties, rather than just writing...pure smex. I need a story, I need undertones and emotions, and all that good, gray, underlying stuff. (o;
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It was nice to write something completely different, and I think it helped keep my muse pumping, by throwing it a surprise, every once in awhile. Thanks again! Report Review
I like it! Barely-there hints of attraction and concern suit them way better than sappy declarations and such. I also like how you made this a one shot, sometimes you don't need to draw it out for a point to be made. Very nicely written and realistically planned out. Great job! :3Author's Response: Oh, you decided to read this one, eh? (o: I felt so odd, writing these different characters. Harry is much more my comfort spot, I must say. But I'm so glad you saw what was going on here without the need for sappy declarations, et al. I just thought, well, for who I understand their characters to be, this seemed more fitting. (o: Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I appreciate it! Report Review
That was amazing, but really sad. Good work!Author's Response: Thanks so much! It was something out of my realm, but I enjoyed the challenge. I'm glad you liked it. (o: Report Review
The term "slash" seems too abrupt for something so gentle and poignant.
PalomaAuthor's Response: Hi there, thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I was my first time to really write these characters, so I felt really out of my element. I appreciate your words about the 'slash' label. (o: It is such a ... pointed word for something that can doesn't have to be solely shown in just that way. Ah, well. (o: thanks again! Report Review
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