This was a really good chapter, the group are so funny and different which is nice! I'm enjoying this story a lot, please update soon. I must say i love Cami, she's great! 10/10 Report Review
Another great chapter, please update soon! Report Review
Another great chapter, i love this story! Report Review
Really enjoying this, can't wait to read more! Report Review
Aw. That's so cute. But what about Maddie? She needs somebody!!! Sirius. Gosh that'd be super adorable!Author's Response: Yeah, I'm thinking about Sirius and Maddie they would be perfect together. But, it might take a while for them to get together. Thanks for reviewing. Bye. Report Review
This chapter is pretty good as well. GRAMMAR, CHILD! Am I supposed to be Alice..? If so, you must have her have a crush on Maddy. And she is NOT that neurotic! Beware of falling pianos, Pip. >:D Aaanyway, I think you're off to a really good start. Base a few more characters on people you know, we're all messed up enough to make good material. Is the next part where Nelly comes in? Can't wait for the next chapter!
;)Author's Response: Lurve you juliekinns. Report Review
Overall, I think this was a pretty good chapter! Your grammar is a little off (dodges flying debris mysteriously chucked at a certain green-haired kid's skull) , but that can be easily remedied (like you STAYING in honors english 0_o). I think you might have needed more build-up, like have the argument come first, and in a separate chapter. It really depends on you. But so far, pretty good! ;) Report Review
Lurve the 'manhug' thing. Hilarious. =]
~riddikulus lunaAuthor's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING. I never really realized how much they could mean until I started writing. A lot of people have been saying that I don't use commas properly and stuff. I suck at grammar. I've been trying to work on the Preface, but my computer is terrible, and hates me. So nothing will post right. Thanks for reviewing. Bye Report Review
I was kinda confused when Lily started apologizing to James, then the next scene was totally different. Then I realized that the second part was a flashback. You could make the flashback into italics or mention it so it could be easier. You should also use commas and periods. Sorry if I sound a lot like a teacher, but I can't stand not seeing commas and stuff lke that.
I really like the story so far though! I hope for the next few chapters. =]
~riddikulus luna Report Review
this is real good please write more! i love the TABOO!!! Report Review
Wow! I don't think I've ever read another Marauders fix that starts with an explosive feat in and of itself - Lily apologizing to James, ::GASP!::
I love your concept, it's really great and original. I like the twist that Lily isn't just some popular girl with popular friends who all want the Marauders in some way, shape, or form. Although your characters might end up with them, I'm sure it'll be in an unorthodox way.
Just a couple of things - your spacing, with the stars and all, makes it very easy to throw readers off. Maybe next time you can do italics instead of stars when you're doing a flashback? Other than that, there are just a few punctuation errors, like not putting a comma after a character speaks and then you write 'she said' or something. It should read like, "Hi," prongs_lives_on78 said shyly. xDDD
But I'm the grammar Nazi, so don't worry ;)
I loved it! :DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much. I did have it in italics first, for the flashback, but for some reason the website changed that. I'm editing it now, so yeah. Thanks for reviewing. I'm not exactly sure yet how the story will turn out. But, i hope it turns out great. Bye Report Review
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