I adore the ending to this. You're a beautiful writer and I love how you show Capella's development :)
10/10 Report Review
The entire story, I've been waiting for that scene. And Alas! It an amazing story so far, I absolutely love it. ~ LilyLou Report Review
I very much enjoyed this chapter! I love how Capella basically throws herself out of the circle of her dark family. Report Review
A very good second chapter, I thought! Capella is spunky -- I like that in an OC, it makes us want to read about her as readers, if only to see what wildly absurd thing she might say next. :D
Severus is, I think, a bit OOC -- he's not as much of a loner as you picture him, I think, but enjoyable to read nonetheless. I'm excited to see a bit more action between him and Capella, too! A fun read. :) Report Review
I like this first chapter -- I think it sets up the story you're going to tell very nicely. Capella's a very likable character, and you've written her to have a lot of traits that people are going to recognize in themselves, which is great!
I'm writing a Snape/OC myself, and saw yours and thought I'd give it a read. :) I like it so far, too! Can't wait to read chapter 2, I think I'll like this story. :) Report Review
thank you so much for clarifying! I now completely understand. I think that your ending is much better than the one I construed! However, I still have one question; did Capella lose a child? I derived this question from her "choice not to respond" to Snape saying she had never felt the emotions of the loss of a child or loved one.Author's Response: Oh no, she never lost a child. Well...she could have if that makes more sense to you. I think that early in the chapter Capella hadn't wanted to tell Severus about her daughter, and then makes a snap decision to do so, out of frustration. At the point where Capella chooses "not to respond", she still doesn't want to tell Snape...but she's sensitive to what Lily would have felt if she had survived because she was now a mother. Its not to say that she lost a child, but rather wouldn't be able to comprehend the loss because of her own daughter.
Again, I am so sorry to have confused you. But I am glad to hear that my explanation cleared things up for you :) Thank you so much again! Report Review
I really enjoyed (as in loved) this story, the characters were complex and personable. I loved how you provided a way for the audience to see into Snape's mind. I think that it was so truly canon the way you portrayed Snape, I now feel like I better understand him. Your dialect was also wonderful: I didn't see any spelling errors, and the sentence structure was intellectual and help the reader perceive the scene. The only thing I was left confused about was the last scene with Snape and Capella together... I had not picked up on your hints about their affair until Capella stated that the child was his. I was hoping that you could tell me more about the story of Capella and her child, as well as how and when the child died.
Also, does Capella really believe that her deceased child is the only thing she cares about, seeing as she did marry and have another child? Any answers to my questions would be amazing and treasured!Author's Response: Lol I think you are confused! And it is probably completely my fault.
In the end, Capella showed Severus a picture of her family; Etienne (her husband), herself and her daughter, Therese. Severus and Capella never had an affair. The context was that Severus all but accused Capella of never loving anything, and as retaliation she showed him a picture of her daughter. It wasn't supposed to be a confession of sorts.
And the person who said "she's yours" was Severus, indicating that he realized that Capella had a family and moved on.
I am so incredibly sorry to have confused you so much. Now that I reread the chapter, I understand where it could easily be misconstrued. I'll have to change a few of the wordings to clear it up.
Otherwise, I am so happy that you have enjoyed this story. It has been one of my favorites as well, even though it hasn't been really popular. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Lovely, lovely story. I read it all at one sitting and just finished it. Cried a lot lol.
I love your Snape, he's so canon it just makes me want to squeal! I don't enjoy stories that involve young snape usually because most of the Snapes I've read are too OOC, but your Snape was great. I simply love how you stuck with canon, I wouldn't have been able to-- just because I'm really weak when it comes to Snape.
Perfect ending, completely suiting and even though I was heart-broken I don't think I'd have liked it so much if it ended the way my fangirl side wanted it to lol. I love Capella as well, a very interesting character.
I hate to be that person, but I do have some critique. There were parts earlier in the story that I felt as though there was too much of her thoughts rather than dialogue. Which is of course reasonable, considering she wasn't the most sociable person in the world, but still I think there were parts that were reallydragged out where I was resisting just skipping a few lines. I'm glad I read them though, they were very interesting lines, but I do think thet coud have been a bit shorter.
There was also a lot of her thinking in the middle of dialogues and actions which was sometimes distracting I felt as though those thoughts would have probably been better as after-thoughts; though I think that this is part of Capella's magic (pun totally intended), that she was able to analyse things as they happened.
Nonetheless, this is one of the better fics I've read that involved Snape; not a lot of writers succeed in portraying him very canon-ish-ly, and the plot was very easy to be sucked into. As I already mentioned, I did read it all in one sitting.
HOLY CRAP THIS IS LENGTHY. I'm so sorry, I'm a very lecturing sort of person. lol.
Best wishes :) Report Review
Truly a beautiful story. A fitting ending. I wait for me was so worth it and I'm glad you did finish. Such a great job. Thank you for writing this I really enjoyed it. I think your writing has made me cry several times including now, very moving.
Thank youAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. I know this hasn't really been a popular story, the pairing being a little unconventional, but I think this has been my favorite so far. I tell you, I cannot count the number of times I cried writing and then rereading this. So glad I could get that kind of emotion from you too, but so sorry I made you cry!
You are so very welcome :) Report Review
I love it, I do, and I loved this story as a whole. I just wish Severus could have had *some* happiness in his life... Although that's not up to you, it was up to JKR.
I praise you for remaining in-canon the entire time. When it comes to Severus, I always wanna teach him to wash his hair, and kick James's behind. You avoided those temptations. :D
Anyway, I'm satisfied with the ending. It was a fun ride. I wonder if Therese'll be a witch, too...Author's Response: Thank you so much! Though, admittedly, Snape was never a favorite character of mine, keeping him in canon was such a fun challenge. I like to think I did pretty well ;)
I'm so glad you liked the ending; it was hard to find a really good place to end it. And as for Therese, I like to think that she would have been a witch, though life as a Muggle would have fit her, too. I'm sure Capella would have loved either one :) Report Review
I loved the closure of this chapter. And I like the name twist for Caprice.
One thing, though, I must correct your French. ;P Since probl'eme is masculine, Etienne should have said, "Quel est le probl'eme ?"
^It didn't want to let me add the accent grave...Author's Response: Thank you very much! Although, there is still another chapter for this. Originally, this was going to be the end, but I thought that this closure wasn't quite enough.
Ah, the French error. I'm so sorry...and embarrassed! After 4 years of French, you'd think I'd be able to get the grammar right, right? Whoops. I guess I thought since he was asking her, "quelle" would be feminine. And of course the accent. Geez, I'm a mess! I'll be sure to change that once I (hopefully) get my TA back...editing is such a pain when it has to go back into waiting! But thank you so much for catching that...lol, my French teacher would be so proud of me...mon dieu!
Thanks again for R & R! Can't wait to hear what you think of the end! Report Review
This was so beautiful, I actually cried a littleAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much. I totally agree with you too, I get really sad when I read this one. Just seeing that it would never work out between them and how Capella wants to help him but can't. It's terrible.
But thank you for R&R! Report Review
So, I just finished this entire story, and I loved it! She's such a jerk but I like it. Her and Snape have excellent chemistry :)Author's Response: Ah, but it's not over yet! There's one more chapter and then it'll be done. I'm quite happy with the ending myself, I can't wait to hear what you think of it!
You're right, she IS a jerk. But, that comes with years of abuse, rebellious thinking and dealing with stupid people lol. And that's exactly why she works so well with Severus.
Thank you so much for R & R! Report Review
realy good carry on writing!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Please keep reading! Report Review
Well if THAT wasn't heartbreaking...
I support the idea of you destroying canon and Capella and Snape getting together and living happily ever after. Dammit.Author's Response: Lol, I'm very sorry. You have to know by now this isn't a happy story :P
And I'm glad you see the relationship my way. This story was more about Capella healing than her relationship with Snape. And besides, they aren't in love; they're two people that hate people, so that draws them together. It's purely volatile, yet they need each other for survival. Plus, I keep it real.we all know what happens to Snape in the end. This has mostly been about Capella coming to terms with her life and breaking out of her toxic lifestyle.
Anyway, I'm really happy to hear that you've enjoyed it thus far! Thanks for R & R! Report Review
I was really worried for a second that this was going to be the ending. :( Can't wait to read more. Please update soon!Author's Response: Lol, no, don't worry. You've still got two chapters left :) It's not over yet!
I'm so glad you've enjoyed it and I'm terribly sorry for my poor updating skills! Report Review
I love this so much! This is so utterly amazing. Snape is so...there's no word to describe it. I love the relationship Snape and Capella have going and I love Capella's character on her own. She's so amazing, so brave, and yet (even though she REALLY doesn't want to admit it) quite vulnerable. I have grown to love both of them dearly. I can't wait to read more.
And I wish you made James and Sirius a bit more lovable.
And what was up with Regulus? Why was he being so...odd?Author's Response: I am thrilled to know that you love this story. I know it hasn't really been popular, probably because of my crappy updating skills and since the pairing is different.
Capella has been the most dynamic character I've ever written. She has to be likeable (?), but also rough around the edges. She's been through a lot and her personality shows that. Also, her relationship with Severus is really hard to explain without just knowing it. They're companions, but not friends. They're together, but not in love. They hate everyone, including each other. I'm really glad you were able to understand it, it lets me know I described it well.
Since the story is from Capella's POV, Sirius and James aren't really lovable. They aren't nice to her, and so she's not nice back. I think eventually Capella and Sirius get on common ground, kind of an unspoken understanding.
As for Regulus...he's just weird. Lol, no. You have to remember, he's going through a difficult time with Voldemort, his family's expectations and doing the right thing. I'd say he's totally confused. Don't worry, we both know he figures it out eventually lol.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! The story is almost finished! Report Review
I see you still have the cuddly disposition of a Venomous Tentacula ...I lol'd :PAuthor's Response: Lol, I've had that line in my head for years and never had the opportunity to use it until this story. It's still one of my favorite insults ever. I'm so happy you enjoyed it as much as I do! Report Review
Is this the last chapter, then? Sorry, your Author's comment at the beginning could have been either way, and the story's status is still WIP...
As a reader, I felt that you went through each stage of her "life" very naturally. I was actually spellbound by Capella and Severus's relationship. Severus has always been one of my favorites, and you made Capella an original character that I could actually like. Most of the time I hate original characters.
I also feel like you made Snape's character very well. This was an excellent story! Thank you for writing it!Author's Response: No, this isn't the end yet. I think there's about 2-3 more left. Not entirely sure, it just depends on how I want the ending to go. Sorry I was a little cryptic about that. Its still WIP!
Thank you so much. I was worried that maybe I sped through the year at Hogwarts or that Capella was too wishy washy about it. Or that the whole thing with Snape happened too fast. It was hard to fully explain that she didn't love him but wanted the companionship. It was so complicated, I wasn't sure if I got it right.
I'm glad that you didn't think the whole Snape/OC thing was too kitschy. I'm usually not a huge fan of reading OCs either...I just write them. But when you think about it, there's nothing really all that original to Capella. She could have been any Slytherin girl. I didn't create her to be different, I created her to be normal.
And that's how Capella ties in so well. Since she's so under the radar, its entirely believable. I didn't want this to be AU, or for her to have changed Snape. She was just kind of there when he went through life, never actually helping him or "saving" him or whatever. He could have had a friend like her.
I'm glad that you, as a big Snape fan, find him to be up to your standards. I always worry that maybe its not right or its too out of character. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
True, I haven't read the next chapter, but-I-still-need-to-review!
Firstly, this made me giggle in real life:
"...I realized that we were no longer in the Great Hall. Instead, we were in an empty Slytherin common room and I had been halfway up the staircase to the boy’s dorms, automatically following Severus."
Secondly, I LOVE SEVERUS, and I'm glad they did something about this love of Severus that I have, and they, as characters, definitely had to do something about my love.
Thirdly, I'd like to compliment your "depth", I guess. You seem to understand humans a lot better than most do, and better than I do, I admit. I noticed some new things 'cause of you.
Happy New Year! It's been 18 minutes of 2011 for me... And I was reading your story to celebrate. ;]Author's Response: First of all, thank you so much for reading my story. I know the pairing isn't necessarily popular and I was taking a risk with writing it. Its not as successful as I would have liked, but the readers I have seem to understand the plot pretty well.
You know, Severus has never been one of my favorite characters. But this idea popped into my head one day and I couldn't let go of it. This was the perfect kind of relationship for Severus to have with someone. He is essentially a good guy, just misled (sp?). And when I came up with Capella...well, I had to know she wasn't exactly likeable. But her personality was just so intriguing, I had to keep going.
The whole "depth" of my insight on humans is easy to explain. I've got an anxiety disorder which makes me hypersensitive to people, I have to know what people are doing at all times. I usually stay quiet and just watch people and how they act. I swear, its not as creepy as it sounds. But it does help when it comes to writing. I understand people moreso than I do myself lol.
I'm so glad that you spent your New Year reading my story! You have no idea how happy I am to have a review like this. Thank you so much for reading and writing to me! Report Review
Is there going to be more?? It says its a work in progress...?
I want more!!Author's Response: There is most definitely going to be another chapter!
In fact, I think there's going to be maybe 2 or 3 more chapters after this one. I'm not sure how I want to exactly transition to the ending yet. I'm banking on two more chapters. But I'm still not sure lol.
I'm so happy to hear that you want more! I promise, there will be more :) Report Review
Why is there only one chapter left to read after this?? Please write more!!Author's Response: Don't worry, there will be a couple more chapters after this. I'm not exactly sure how many. This story will probably be about 20 chapters total? Idk, but we'll see :)
I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Report Review
I love the little tidbit about the cat hissing at Lupin. Its stuff like that that maes this story very enjoyable. I think you're very talented :-)Author's Response: Why thank you!
Lol Lupin. I love to add little things in my stories that no one really notices. I think in this story I've mentioned some characters from my Sirius/OC story. No one ever notices but it makes me smile :) I'm glad you caught the Lupin thing!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you keep reading and enjoying :) Report Review
Christ... no wonder she's so messed up. You make it very possible (and quite easy) to compel dislike towards some characters (like Porrima and Julien) rather then not caring
xAuthor's Response: I like to have a reason for my characters to be the way they are. I know the "crazy pureblood family" can be a little overplayed, but most people don't go into depth about it. Usually they make it about the OC not hating Muggles/Muggleborns. In Capella's case, she's just bitter because of the way they treat her. She's naturally independent and the control her mother tries to have over her just pisses Capella off.
And I think the Julien situation adds to Capella's resentment. Its showing that life isn't fair and that she can only rely on herself. However, I still think she's got some lessons to learn before the end :)
I do hope you keep reading! Thank you so much for the great feedback! Report Review
I love that you chose Korn for this one... you have great taste!!Author's Response: Lol thanks! I do love that song, I think it fit well with the chapter.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection