Aww I was really smiling when I read this piece. It was so sweet but still purebloodish if you know what I mean. Itís great to see how they were in their younger years and that you showed them as human beings and not as ruthless killers. Itís really realistic. I liked the fact this story was about Evan Rosier because he is one of my favourite characters. I know weird but you really pictured him as I imagined him too be too goodlooking a bit of a womanizer. Also itís great that your character is a Wilkes seeing as they are trully a pureblood family and that you just did not created another pureblood family name. The fact Amelia was akward about him was so cute and really realistic and her insecurity just great. I really was rooting for her and Iím glad it ended happily for her. Though I though her brotherís name wasnít really purebloodish ( I know it isnít even a word)Author's Response: Hi Cleopatraa,
I'm sorry I took so long to respond to this. I've been really busy and had no time to come on here to check anything.
Anyway, onto the response. I'm glad that you appreciate what I've been trying to do with these characters. To be honest, it's much more realistic to see them as they actually are...that being human beings. I don't believe that people are truly evil. I think there's always something that makes a person go to that level.
I like Evan's character too. Haha, I guess great minds think alike then :) I dunno why I pictured him to be like that and I can't recall what I was thinking when I wrote this...it was a while ago.
You're not the only one to say that. I like to make use of the characters that were already given but aren't talked about much, hence Amelia.
Amelia is a typical teenage girl. The thing about it is, this situation could quite possibly reflect anyone else's, I just stuck a name in there.
I guess pureblood names are supposed to sound all exotic. Evan and Amelia aren't don't sound much like everyone else's.
Thank you for your review! I'm so sorry I took so long to respond.
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I'm going to throw out another name here (don't you love me). There used to be a story here called Memento Mori, which I beta-ed for a short time and which was deleted two years ago this month. It was one of the best stories I'd read on HPFF, and it was mainly about a young Narcissa Malfoy. The way you wrote Narcissa, Lucius, and their friends reminded me a lot of MM. Not because the plots are remotely similar, but just because of the way the characters felt. I guess I'm feeling a tinge of nostalgia right now, haha.
Anyway, on to your story. Is Amelia a canon character or an OC? I am not familiar enough with the minor characters to be able to tell all the time. No matter what, she was appealing. I thought you did a good job of getting into a young girl's mind. (It helps if you are or have been one, of course.) I found it easy to relate to her, and she seemed quite realistic.
I thought the situation with Evan was mostly realistic as well. I found her feelings toward him and her awkwardness around him to be extremely believable. The resolution was a bit on the fairy-tale-ending side, but hey, I was rooting for it to happen, and I can't pretend I didn't enjoy it. ;) I was proud of Amelia for speaking up. It's difficult to find that courage.
It's too bad this story doesn't have more reviews; it definitely deserves them!Author's Response: Lol, hiii Alopex!
And yes, I do know that story! I absolutely LOVE it. It's still up on another site with a whopping 148 chapters! I agree with you, it has to be one of the best stories I have ever read and it actually makes the Death Eaters and their families human. What makes it even better is that it's Lucius/Narcissa. My ship till death! I'll be nostalgic with you =]
Well, Amelia is an OC using a canon last name. Her brother is the canon character. I wrote this as a little companion piece to my novel-length where their daughter (another OC) is the main character. I enjoyed writing her because she reminded me of myself, heck, she can remind any teenage girl of themselves. Just like in your last review, you mentioned it not being character centric but based more for the situation. I guess that could apply here too.
People deserve a happy ending every once in a while so I splurged a little ^_^. It's not every day you get to tell the "love-of-your-life" how you feel. Were I in her shoes, I doubt that words would leave my mouth, I'd be stammering. I'm proud of her too.
Thank you so much for your review. It made my day :)
Hey Lia! Sorry for the wait on this review, July is crazy for me! But I'm home now and ready to get some reviewing done :)
What an adorable story! I love that it's about characters that are so normally portrayed as evil etc. I'm glad that you took this new take on them, it's v. realistic and such. Love it!
Your characterisations are wonderful. You really took some people we see so often as the bad guys and made them regular teenagers. I like that. Well done :)
There are some parts, though, that I feel get a little bit wordy. Some of those things you take the time to describe could be inferred without telling it. That Narcissa knows and things like that. Other than that, I think this is great.
ShilohAuthor's Response: Hey Shiloh!
It's alright, real life tends to trump online life anyway.
I'm glad you like it :). I love showing a more human side to the Death Eaters, it honestly turns me off when people automatically think they sit around and plot all the time. Besides, I think their characters are more interesting.
I'll go over this and try to make it less wordy, perhaps seeking some help from someone else too.
Thank you so much for your review! I hope you enjoy your time at home =]
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It was really interesting to get to see the inner workings of how the dark side hangs out/gets together. I like the way they interact - the way it shows them in their younger years. I was wondering how you would characterize Evan, since he obviously does some pretty gruesome things later on. :) I like that he is nice and sensitive to Amelia throughout, especially the end, but you show that he does have a tougher side which would make sense with the rest! :)Author's Response: Hey Jessi,
I like to show that Death Eaters are people too. There would've had to have been something that made them the way they are. In The Time Has Come, I emphasised the love Anna's parents had for each other and expressed their beginnings here.
Despite the fact that they've done some evil things, I do believe there was a reason for it. Take Lucius Malfoy for example. Before DH, everyone thought he was a cruel man even to his family but chapter one changed that for me. I wanted to do the same for Evan Rosier.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
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Hello! This is Foundriapenguin from the forums with the review you requested (;
I like the plot line you have going here! It's a very sweet story. You managed to mask Evan's feelings for Amelia very well. I didn't see it coming O: I think that in some places where you transition from the garden to the manor could be a bit smoother. And sometimes I get confused as to what's happening, like when you write, "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Wilkes," and something about Nick's jaw twitching? I'm not exactly sure.
I think maybe if you look over the grammar in this story again (there are a lot of comma mistakes!), the plot line and flow will be a lot clearer and smoother. :( I recommend you getting a beta to look at it.
Other than that, though, this was an enjoyable story! :D
~foundriapenguinAuthor's Response: Hey!
Oh wow, thank you so much. About Nick's jaw twitching, that was supposed to be a little joke between him and his sister, he had a thing for Evan's mother. Maybe I should've expanded on that some more, I'm sorry about that.
And I will look over the grammar as well.
I'm glad you think it was enjoyable. Thanks again for your review :)
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