Reading Reviews for The Vulnerable Ones
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by siriusblackismyboyfriend Allure

13th September 2009:
Interesting...I've never read a Sirius/Lily fic before just because I'm such a fan of James/Lily. But this one caught my eye. I can't wait to read the rest. Keep writing! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it and I managed to capture your attention. I hope you enjoy the next chapter just as much. Thank you for the review!

 Report Review

Review #2, by slytherinchica08 Allure

31st August 2009:
i must say this is an interesting take on this relationship having sirius depressed and not wanting it but wanting it at the same time. i feel that he is probably conflicted over the fact that his best friend is in love with the girl that he likes. i feel that your flow and description are very good throughout this chapter. great job. keep up the good work.


Author's Response: Thank you very much for the comment, I certainly appreciate the time you took to leave me such a kind review. I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you won't be disappointed by the next!

 Report Review

Review #3, by confusedlover Allure

28th August 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that you did an amazing job on this little one-shot. you really did a nice job of displaying both the uncertainty and the desire that Sirius felt throughout those few long minutes. that was what i was indeed expecting and so i found it very splendid when i realized that you were doing that. it added a certain element to this that made it seem all the more believable. realistic plot are always good to see even when pairings aren't and so great job on that.

your flow was honestly stupendous. at no point did i see that you sped up to quickly or slowed down at all and that is simply great to see. i love it when stories are easily readable and presented and this was certainly no exception to that.

you language was also done incredibly well. your dialogue- as little of it as there was- appeared to be in perfect condition with you plot and you entire writing style appeared to be very individual and unique. i am simply very impressed.

overall, i thought that this was a wonderful story. as i mentioned before, the emotions portrayed were nice and complex and i have nothing at all to complain about. feel free to stop by my thread and request again anytime. amazing job on this.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, that was such a lovely review! I can't believe it. This story actually isn't a one-shot though, as soon as the queue opens back up I'm going to submit chapter two.

I'm very glad that you enjoyed it though! That's so great to hear. It's a great confidence booster, that's for sure. Thanks again, your time is really appreciated.

 Report Review

Review #4, by Fuzzy_Slippers Allure

28th August 2009:
Ooh, a Sirius/Lily. Definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. : D

The first thing that strikes me as I'm reading is your incredible use of descriptive phrases. When you're describing the setting I can almost feel the wind, can almost see the flickering of the candlelight; it's wonderfully done. I especially loved this: 'It was this that bore him such a great similarity to the wind. He seemed to have a way of disappearing; coming and going at his leisure, able to slip past the eye in a manner that should have been impossible.'
Really, bravo. : D

And the way you describe Sirius is so refreshing. Different in a way that is purely enjoyable. His feelings toward Lily, and how he resents her for not treating him like anybody else treats him, not only coincides with the Sirius you've crafted, but also with the Lily Evans we know from the books. Though, of course, you've breathed new life into the both of them; you've made them human, subjective to human desires and needs. Sirius is as flawed as we can imagine him to be, and Lily isn't nearly as perfect as most people would like to believe, but they're still themselves; you managed to keep the essentials of their characters while still making them dynamic. : D

The atmosphere of guilt and shame that you've created around the two characters, and also the undercurrent of repressed passion, works so harmoniously with the setting of the story and with your writing style in general; the effect was a thoroughly absorbing read.

'He picked up the glass for one final swig, letting it fall to the ground where it shattered into fragments - much like his resolve, he found.'

Amazing. Truly, just incredible writing overall.
You've got real talent, and Sirius/Lily becomes captivating and scandalously addicting in your hands. : D

Author's Response: Drats! I just wrote quite a long response to your review, but then my internet crashed for a few minutes and I lost it all. Oh well, such is life.

Anyway, first of all I would like to thank you for getting this review so quickly for me. I wasn't expecting to get any reviews for quite a while, to be honest. So thanks for that.

Second, I can't believe how lovely your review was. I'm so pleased that you had such nice kind words to say about my story. What you've said to me has given me a lot more confidence. I was quite worried and anxious about how this story would turn out, but now I'm a lot more confident and I'll try and update as soon as the queue opens again. Once I've submitted three other stories I've written, too.

So anyway, thank you so much! I really, really appreciate it.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Draco_Dracula and me_ Allure

27th August 2009:
OMG so damn awesome !! loved it whens the update?

Author's Response: Wow thank you so much! I'll try and update as soon as the queue is open again.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login