aw.it's so sad.but sadness is often mistaken as beuaty.i liked this ,but usally one-shots drive me insane.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :) Really, did you feel sorry for her? She's such a pathetic, narcissistic cow, lol. Report Review
My god! I'm sorry for the late review, I actually read this almost as soon as you requested it, but then it got pushed to the back of my brain.
Once again, your vocabulary and overall grace with words is astounding. The way your characters come to life- I adored how you wrote Dominique- self assured, snobby, arrogant. I loved how she was astounded that Teddy would chose Victoire over her. And it was a nice touch that her brother based his writings off of her, and always portrayed her in such a good light.
It was certainly convincing enough, though I'm not sure exactly what you were worried about convincing people of. That Teddy and Dominique would never get together? That Dominique was snooty and too aware of her beauty for her own good? That Teddy would never realize that Dominique was lusting after him? Anyway, you convinced me of all that. Your writing is just such a pleasure to read... it's like music, the way the words float off your tongue.
No suggestions- fantastic work! Of the two stories of yours I've read so far, you keep mentioning that it's not your typical writing, that it's old and bad; I really must read what you consider your "good" work!
~lllbAuthor's Response: Oh my god, I'm so sorry for taking this long to respond. I've been so unbelievably busy I just didn't have any time to log in to HPFF.
Lol, truth be told I'm not really sure as to what I wanted to convince the reader of. Thing is, this chapter, for the large part, was the draft of another story. When I deleted the old story, I thought with a bit of tweaking this could be fobbed off as a Tedonique story. Most of bits about Teddy are addendums that weren't there in the original draft, which perhaps explains the incongruence. Potentially that Dominique is a horribly narcissistic cow with a silly little crush on Teddy. That Teddy probably loves Victoire more than Victoire loves him, that he's so obsessed with Victoire that he's willing to see her in her sister, that Dominique plays along knowing full well that Teddy would never love her? I hadn't thought of all this when I was writing the story, so I guess it's entirely open to interpretation. :)
This surely is not the way I wish to write. For one thing, it's laden with frippery. What's said about Louis's writing does apply to me to some extent, in that both this and 'Umbra' read well, but have very little depth as far as plot and meaning goes. But at the moment I'm stuck in this stylistic rut and breaking out of this mould is proving to be very difficult. Maybe I'll find a balance soon.
Thanks so much for reviewing. Both your reviews have ben an absolute pleasure to read and to reply to. Thanks again. :)
Renee Report Review
Awww, oh my goodness!
Diva, beautiful as ever. What a bittersweet and loving story. The confession was so. Actually revlieving and sweet. I wasn't saddened in any way.
This was brilliant. As all your stories are. Your characters talked so sophisticatedly and I once again felt like I'm reading something so superior and amazing.
You did excellent. I loved every bit of it.
My opinion? This was flawless. :)
10/10Author's Response: Aw hun, you're way to kind. Flawless, this certainly isn't. But I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :)
I understand what you mean when you say you weren't saddened. Dominique wasn't exactly a sympathetic character, was she? She's a totally narcissistic cow with various hang-ups and what have you. She's just sixteen and harbouring a stupid crush on Teddy. It's not anything as deep as she convinces herself it is. Just a rite to passage, falling in love with Teddy. So no, I don't feel sorry for her at all.
Thanks again for the absolutely amazing review, Drue. Thank you. :)
- Renee Report Review
Here from the forums!
If it was music, it would be spiralling, a mad whirl of frustration and beauty. But it's a story.
Bittersweet. I enjoyed it -- it might not be your personal favourite, but I enjoyed it and to me that's all that matters.
Actually, I lied. Lots of things matter, but enjoying a story when reading it is always good. I slog through stories I frown at endlessly; this is just the remedy.
xEAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review :)
[a mad whirl of frustration and beauty]... OK, that's like, flattering. So thank you, thank you so very much for your kind words. :)
I agree, a lot of things matter, but I know what you mean. Sometimes even I get so caught up in a story that I'm willing to overlook the flaws. Though, of course, I don't think this story was one such, but I'm glad you think so. :)
Thanks again for the lovely review. Report Review
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